CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The Rumours
May 22nd, 1978

          James didn't want to believe the rumours going around the castle or what the first years in Slytherin were whispering about Regulus Black and Daphne Rosier. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he believed anything he heard? Not a good one, that was for sure. But small parts of himself wondered if they were true—after all, he had noticed the way she was distancing herself or the bags under her eyes which meant she wouldn't get any sleep when they weren't snuggled to each other. She was messy in class, she'd break things, couldn't cast a correct charm and he knew better than anyone else how much this wasn't Daphne Rosier. The I love you's were rare, not that he craved to hear them but what if she just didn't love him anymore?

Glancing at her accross the library, he noticed she was playing with the other notebook as he looked for the one she had given him for his birthday and started writing.

Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.

Daphne looked down at the notebook and snorted loudly, earning a loud noise from Madam Pince and a smirk from James.

This is awful. Was it supposed to be a pick-up line? If yes, you've failed terribly.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked, lowering his own book so he could see what his friend was up to. "Prongs," he repeated and James snapped his head towards him. "You're staring," he reminded.

"Sorry," he mumbled, scratching some words down the notebook "Have you heard the rumours going around?"

"Which one?" He snorted "As a prefect, I'm the one starting most rumours," he said to James

James smiled widely, "Always been the best of us eh, Moony?" He teased as Remus hid behind his large book. "I was talking about the Regulus and Daphne rumours," he added lowly.

"Oh, that one," Remus mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "About them being..." James nodded. "I've heard of it, Sirius did too and he's convinced they're real."

James sighed, "Do you think they are?"

Remus winced, he really didn't want him to ask the question, "Er, I don't think I do yet," he replied truthfully. "But I do think it is bound to happen," he then added and continued before James could even say a word. "Think about it, Prongs. Their families, Sirius' family, they are so into that blood mania shite and you-know-who wants exactly the same thing. So, it wouldn't be a surprise if it does happen, and I wouldn't be shocked if it already did."

James wanted to say he was wrong, that Remus didn't know what he was talking about but did he even know what they were talking about? Of course, he had noticed how his parents were rarely looking well-rested lately, how his father would return half beaten up late at night. The war had already begun, he knew that but was there a possibility for her to be on the other side? Yes.

Don't be stupid James, he reminded himself.

There was always a possibility for her to turn out to be bad, she was in Slytherin after all—but the last few months had shown him how much houses didn't matter, and that every snake had a big heart.

Need to see you. Now?

He had written on the paper, hoping for a fast reply because he had so much to say on the top of his tongue, so many questions—he feared he would go mad if he didn't ask them.

Can't. 7 is okay for you?

Perfect. Love you.

For a moment, he stared at the paper waiting for the ink to show and as he put the notebook down, letters started to appear.

I love you too, James.

The crease between his eyebrows had been replaced with a stupid loving smile as he rose from his feet and told Remus he needed to do things—first, he needed a shower then he'd probably lay in bed and wait for the time to pass.

Daphne focused back on Pandora as she revised her Divination notes, "How can you enjoy this subject?"

"Divination? It is fairly impressive, you'd know if you were there," she told her with a lazy smile. "But, I'm sure you have better things to do—or dare I say, someone," she told unfazed.

Daphne gaped at her, "What do you mean?"

"James Po—" before she could finish, Daphne's hand was covering her mouth muffling her words.

"Don't finish it, Pandy," she warned as Pandora gave her a small nod, waiting for her to pull away. "Since when do you know?"

Pandora looked down at her notes, "Long enough to be hurt that you hadn't said anything," she answered. "Besides may I remind you that he came to me so you two could patch things up?"

"Pandy..." she started softly, catching her attention. "You know I can't say anything about that secret," she explained.

Though, Pandora didn't look convinced, "What about the other one, then?"

"Bloody hell," Daphne's eyes widened. "You know? How the fuck do you know that?"

Pandora shrugged, "I didn't," she muttered surprised. "Heard the rumour and thought I'd try to know myself," she explained to Daphne. "Is it true then?"

Casting a silencing charm around them, Daphne's face hardened and she hated herself for it. She had never been 'mean' with Pandora—well, not mean but harsh.

"You can't tell anyone," she told her firmly. "I'm very serious," she added.

Pandora smiled, not fazed by the Daphne's mean act, "You can trust me," she told her. "I've known about Regulus for a long time," she then said, focusing back on her essay. Taking on the silence, she continued. "He didn't need to tell me, though. I have noticed on my own, he is quite horrible at hiding secrets."

"Is it that noticeable?"

"No, I don't think it is," she spoke softly. "You have managed to hide it very well so far, but be careful. Some things may catch up to you, Daphne and I am afraid you will suffer greatly."

Daphne hid her face, sighing loudly, "I think it is already catching up to me, Pandy," she whispered, fighting her tears. "I know he heard the rumours and I can't lie about it anymore...I want to be honest and tell him. This mark had given me too much burdens."

Pandora reached for Daphne's hand, and gave it a squeeze, "Tell him. You ought it to, Daph," she said honestly. "I am sorry this is happening to you and Regulus."

"Trust me, I'm sorry too," Daphne gave her a tight smile. Rising on her feet, she let out a breathe, "Wish me luck?"

"You will manage and my door will always be open, if you ever need me," Pandora told her, offering her a reassuring smile.

With a bow of her head, she exited the library without glancing at Remus, where James used to be. Daphne usually felt happy to meet with her boyfriend at night, but today was different—she was dreading the moment and she knew exactly why. Pandora was right. Daphne ought to tell him, for her and his sake. She tried to keep her head up as she walked through the Great Hall, in hope to grab whatever she could but the low whispers were getting too much and she hurried herself out of the place and opted for the kitchen.

Pushing the secret entrance, she was rapidly greeted by at least five elves; she could name three of them—Mimi, Bilm and Hooky. Regulus and her would often come down there and have a good chat, they were very grateful to see students apparently.

"Hello, Miss Rosier," squealed Hooky, the most talkative of them all.

Daphne smiled softly, "Hello, Hooky," she said. "Bilm, Mimi," she nodded her head.

"Miss Rosier," they both answered in sync. "Would you like something?"

"Hooky can offer you a cup of tea and delicious cake," she smiled.

Daphne sat down at the table, "I'd like that, please."

A little moment after, Hooky appeared back with a cake and a cup of tea, she handed it to Daphne rapidly and went away—probably to cook the feast for tonight. She ate in utter silence, sometimes looking up at the elves around the kitchen and smiled at the sight of them. It reminded her of Leeky, which she missed dearly. Turning her head to the footsteps, she watched as Regulus made his way inside and smiled at her.

"Master Regulus!" Mimi exclaimed, clearly happy to see him. "Does Master Regulus wish for something?"

"Just give me a piece of cake, Mimi. I'll be more than happy," he told her as she nodded vigorously. He sat down next to his cousin and eyed her. "What is happening?"

"Pandora knows," Daphne whispered, chewing on the piece of cake. "She told me you were quite bad at keeping secrets, then managed to tell me that it would catch up to me one day..."

"And you believe her?"

"I do," she replied quietly. "Why aren't you surprised she knows, though?"

Regulus chuckled, "She is a brilliant witch," he noticed. "I'm sure she's a Seer," he added with a shrug. "Do you think she've seen it? Us, I mean? That she knew before we even did?"

"Maybe..." she swallowed hard as she checked her watch, it was soon seven and she would have to go to the Room of Requirement soon. "Reg, are you—we going to be okay?"

"I don't know," he hummed unsure, he ran a hand through his messy hair and licked his lips before speaking again. "As long as we take care of each other, I think we will," he murmured.

"Alright," she replied with a forced small smile. "I have to go but I will see you later, yes?"

"Of course," he bowed his head as she waved at him. "Be careful."

It wasn't long before she reached the seventh floor, and she wondered how she had gotten there so fast, considering she had almost dragged her feet on the cobblestone to arrive there. The door was already there, meaning James had been there a little longer than her. They had both discovered that if they were familiar with the room and the person in it, it would appear. Pushing the door, she was greeted by a beautiful library with two sofas, instead of her homey small flat. James was stretched on one of them, his eyes closed and an arm resting under his head. He looked so beautiful.

"Hey," he said softly, sitting up. "How are you?" He asked, grabbing her wrist and tugging her closer to him, until she fell on the sofa next to him.

"I've been better," she whispered, clearing her throat. "I feel like shite," she then admitted. "You've noticed, haven't you?"

James sighed tiredly, turning head to look at her and he brought his finger to caress her cheek, "I had my doubts," he told her with a small shrug. "What is happening? Are you hurt? Is there something wrong with your brother or back at home?"

"It's just—" she stopped herself, releasing a breathe. "I'm tired," she added after a long pause. "Of everything. Life, school, myself..."

His eyes widened as he moved his body so he was fully facing her, "Can I ask you a question, then?"

There it was. The question that would stop everything they had, it was too good to be true. Daphne felt the tears pricking her eyes already, and she cussed at herself for being too emotional, she could feel James' hand rubbing her back affectionately but she knew in a few moment he wouldn't want to touch her again. Ever again, really.

"James," she croaked before he could even ask it. "The rumours are true. Everything you've heard about me these last few days are true," she fessed up, breaking into a quiet sob as she hurried herself to hide her mouth as though the sound was forbidden.

She felt sick. So sick.

"What?" He asked, frowning. "What rumours?"

"Please, don't make me say it..."

James' face softened for a second, "Are you telling me that—"

"Yes!" She cut him off, looking at him in the eyes. "I'm...I'm a Death Eater," she murmured the last part and she swallowed thickly the bile that was threatening to come out. "Jam—"

"How could you? H-how could you not tell me anything?!" He exclaimed, pushing himself away from her. There it was again, she thought. The coldness. "Were you spying on me or some wicked thing like that?"

"No, Merlin, no," she mumbled, closing her eyes for a second. "I-I love you, James and I never wanted for you to—"

"To what? Fall in love with a fucking Death Eater? Have you thought about what I would feel? Or Sirius?" He was now shouting and she flinched at his tone. "Tell me you're joking and this is just you making a joke, because—"

"James, please!" Daphne yelled, rising on her feet as he stopped in his tracks. "I swear to you that...my intentions were never bad," she told him, her tone softer yet still shaky.

Grabbing her wand, she took off her school's robe and threw it on the sofa before pointing at her left forearm and muttered a few words James couldn't catch. His eyes stared at the forearm until the ink appeared, and he felt his heart's pace fastening at the sight of it. He had a bloody Death Eater in front of him, and it was Daphne. His Daphne. Oh Godric, he was going to be sick.

Running a hand through his hair, he pulled on them lightly, "Why did you take it?" His voice was a little softer and she couldn't help but sob a little more.

"I-I didn't have a choice," she said. "I didn't want Evan to take it...I just...I didn't want him to suffer like I do."

James frowned, "Is that why you don't sleep anymore?"

Daphne nodded rapidly, sitting back down, "I can't sleep anymore, I only sleep when I'm with you," she confessed, closing her eyes. "It's not easy, James. I've tried to be good, to do the right thing but I should have known that history would catch up to me one day," she stated.

"I can't," he said, releasing a shaky breath. "I can't stay here, Daphne," he added, gathering his school things before walking to the door.

I don't give up on someone that easily, he had said with his eyes twinkling and a wide smile.

And for now, Daphne was begging.

Don't give up on me.

Don't give up on me.

"Wait!" She called for him as he stopped. "Can you just stay in the room until I fall asleep? I'm afraid I won't get any sleep if you leave now," she told him.

He released a long and exhausted sigh, and ended up answering, "Alright."

...

James watched as Daphne stripped from her school's clothes before laying down on one of the sofas. He sat down in the armchair, enjoying the warmth of the fire. But, he was soon brought back to reality when he watched the mark. James felt sick to his stomach, knowing she had been a death eater for so long—what if their relationship was just a lie? And she had faked her love for him? James was strong, he believed so; but at this moment, all he wanted to do was hide under the blanket and cry like a tall child. How did he not notice? All the signs were under his nose, and he hadn't noticed a single thing. He thought of the conversation his parents had over the Easter break, about Voldemort being in Buckinghamshire. It all made sense now, he was at Daphne's.

Finally turning his head, he looked at Daphne who was soundly asleep and he wondered if he would ever see her like this. Never, the little voice in his head spoke and James shook his head, trying to make it go away. With a low grunt, he rose on his feet and grabbed his bag before moving in front of her.

"I'm so sorry we've come to this," he whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind her head as he let the pad of his thumb caress her jaw. "I love you."

That was the hardest part of all. He loved her. He was completely enamoured with her and that was scary. James didn't think he had been that heartbroken before, not even when Lily used to refuse him—which was very often before, and he had thought the pain he felt was heartbreak. He was so wrong, so so wrong. All his muscles ached, his eyes were hurting and puffy from crying silently, his throat felt raw—shattered, that was how he really felt. And, he wondered if he would ever function correctly again without her by his side.

When he reached the common room, he didn't bother looking around and hurried in his dorm. With a wave of his wand, he shut the curtains and threw a silencing charm around him. It was silly to cry so loud to the point where he couldn't breathe correctly, it felt ridiculous to him. He wished he would have stayed by her side, ask more questions but the voices in his mind were getting too loud, and he had no idea how to shut them down.

James wanted his mum, he wanted her to hold him and whisper in his ear that everything would be alright. He wanted his dad to hug him awkwardly, because he never got used to physical touch. He wanted to go home.

"James?" Lily's voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he went rigid at her voice. He could hear Peter's bed crack, meaning she had sit down on it. "I know you probably don't want to talk right now, but I am here if you need to," she whispered softly.

"Can you get Sirius, please?" He asked, trying to keep his voice as flat as he could.

"Of course."

The door closed again and he released a shaky breath. He hadn't realised his friends were in the common room, his ears were buzzing and everything around him had been so silent—yet so loud. Had they seen him? Had they noticed how his eyes were red and puffy? Or how broken he looked? Probably. If Lily Evans had taken the time to step into their dorms, then probably yes.

"James?" Sirius' voice was soft, softer than anything he had heard before. "Hey, mate," he whispered, pulling the curtains open.

James looked up and felt himself break down at the sight of Sirius, his only true family. The closest he could have been from his parents, "I-I don't know where everything went wrong," he found himself murmur, more to himself than to Sirius. "It was so good, you know? And now everything is fucked up and I-"

"Hey, hey, hey, breathe," Sirius hurried himself to speak, sitting down on the mattress. "What happened? Is it Mum and Dad? Daphne?"

"Daphne," he replied, taking a deep breathe and rising on his feet. "She-she...you see, I wanted to know because I always want to know what is going on. Because this is who I am! I care and I want to help," he stuttered, rubbing his face angrily. "I care about her, Pads. I do," he added. "And-and, I don't think I have ever felt so betrayed before...I mean...Fuck!" He shouted.

"What happened?"

James' back hit the wall as he let himself sink down, "She is one of them," he whispered, his head falling down. "She is marked."

Sirius gasped, "Fuck," he muttered. "Did she tell you?"

"She showed me. It was on her left forearm, she used a charm to hide it," he told her. "How could I be so fucking naive? All the clues were right here, under my bloody nose."

"It's not your fault, James," Sirius said firmly. "You loved—"

"Love," he corrected. The hardest part of it all. Love and not loved.

"You love her and she loves you," he said. "You couldn't know."

"Aren't you angry at her?" James queried.

Sirius scoffed, "Of course I bloody am. If she is one, then my little brother is one too—but," he stopped himself and shook his head, as though it was foolish. "She doesn't deserve your tears, James. Trust me."

"Yeah, alright," he whispered with a tired sigh. "Tell the others I'm sorry, I just don't feel like hanging out tonight," he told Sirius, rising on his feet again and plopping into his bed. "I will see you tomorrow morning, right?"

"Of course, yeah."

He was not that much tired, but he guessed he felt knackered because of all the tears he had shed and perhaps he would see her in his dreams. He would see her again and this time, they would be okay as if the last hours had never happened. They would be good and he would be happy.

—————
authors note, sooooo...don't hate me 🤩