CHAPTER FIFTY
Stubborn Love
March 27th, 1983

          Everything was well. Remus had moved in and had gone back to his old sarcastic self. Harry had continued to grow up and loved more and more Quidditch, especially when he played with aunt Daphne. James had tried his best to ignore his feelings for Daphne, though he didn't know how long he'd be able to bottle it all in. And for Sirius, well, he hadn't changed.

Daphne had been organising James' birthday party while the boys were out, only Harry had remained with her and he seemed alright with it. He followed her everywhere with his new stuffed owl that Daphne had gotten him at Christmas. After a long moment, debating, he had called her Hedwig. Daphne thought it fitted, though she couldn't see where he had even heard that name.

"There he is!" Daphne cheered quietly, spotting James in her eyesight. It was still early, the sun had barely started to rise up and everyone was still asleep. Surprisingly, James was already up. "Hello," she added, approaching him closer.

"Hello," he replied cheekily, grinning.

Daphne stepped forward, pressing her lips on his cheek, "Happy birthday, James," she then said, smiling widely.

James cleared his throat, thanking the darkness for hiding his blush, "Thank you, Daphne."

"Is the party still happening?"

He hummed, "Yes. The Weasley, the Longbottom and er...the Tonks will be here."

"You invited my cousin?"

He chuckled, "Get over yourself, Rosier. Ted is a nice bloke," he teased as she snorted. "They will be here around seven, is that alright?"

Daphne nodded though he couldn't see her, "Of course. Do you need help with anything? I could cook?"

"Oh, that'd be brilliant actually," he said softly. "Would you be okay with cooking? I might take Remus and Sirius with me to go buy some rubbish that we need for the party. Harry can be your cooking partner," he joked.

"Merlin!" She exclaimed, recalling the time Harry had told everyone he was aunt Daffy's partner. "He is a good partner though."

James snorted, quickly hiding his mouth with his hand to not wake up the others, "Sure he is."

"Right then," she replied, heading downstairs.

James nor Daphne wanted to part ways but they somehow couldn't bring themselves to stay together too long. Ever since Christmas, it was rather complicated to spend too much time together as the tension kept growing and became almost suffocating. None of them wanted to rush things, besides they weren't even sure about those tucked feelings.

By the time Daphne made it back home after buying groceries, the boys were about to leave and Harry and her were alone. Harry was always very quiet and kind, he was never a problem at all.

"Are you excited to see Ron and Dora?" Daphne queried as she stirred the food, glancing at Harry who was sitting on the kitchen counter with his legs swinging in the void.

Harry giggled, hugging his owl, "Yes, yes!"

"But be nice and let Dora stay with you two, okay? I know you don't like playing with her sometimes."

Harry sighed, "Dora trips!"

Daphne laughed, "I know, my love but she doesn't do it on purpose."

Harry didn't answer and instead let out a puff of air, muttering something under his breath. Daphne drifted back to her own thoughts, they were mainly about James now. For now, Daphne felt conflicted. She had loved James in the past then had loved Fabian, parts of her still loved him despite him being dead—though she wondered if other parts of her still loved James.

On the other hand, she could not wait to see the Weasley again. Molly had promised to bring Daphne's favourite cake and Bill told her he would show her his school supplies.

"There you are!" Daphne exclaimed, noticing how late it was when the three men walked through the front door. "Salazar, what happened to you?"

They were all muddy and Sirius shrugged with a smirk, "Played Quidditch for a while," he explained.

Remus scratched the back of his neck, all muddy as well, "I tried to play too."

"It made me happy, Moony," James added with a wide smile and he couldn't be happier. "Sorry we're late," he then said to Daphne who had crossed her arms over her chest, Harry had copied her too.

"Aunt Daffy not happy," he said, trying to copy her facial expressions.

"Why is she not happy, eh?"

Daphne sighed, "Because it is about to be seven. I thought you three were supposed to go buy some things, not play bloody Quidditch the whole afternoon!" She exclaimed. "I cooked and cleaned the whole house without any of you. Just Harry."

"Just Harry," he repeated proudly, grinning.

James sighed, "You're right. We're sorry, are we not?"

"Yes, we're sorry Daph," Remus added and nudged Sirius in the ribs, making him cough a bit before he apologised as well. "We'll be here before everyone arrives, alright?"

"If you are not at the front door in ten minutes, I'm dragging you all out of the shower."

...

"Is she not lovely?" James queried as they walked upstairs, his grin wider than before.

Sirius grimaced, "She looks like Lily sometimes," he commented quietly and Remus nudged him again. "Bloody hell! What is it?"

"Shut up."

James sighed dreamily, "I think she is quite lovely," he repeated. "Merlin, I fancy her."

"You—what?"

"I fancy her, Pads," he said surely. "I—Ever since Christmas, I doubted it but this morning—this morning, she kissed my cheek and it was obvious. I fancy Daphne again."

Sirius arched an eyebrow, "Because she kissed you on the fucking cheek? Did someone slip you a love potion, James?"

"No, you wanker!" He exclaimed, hitting his arm. "I really fancy her. When I'm with her, it's like I've found all the missing pieces of the puzzles."

Remus smiled softly, "You really do fancy her. I wondered how long it'd take for you to admit it—or realise it."

"You knew?"

Remus snorted, looking at Sirius, "Of course I knew. You're too clueless, love."

"Me? Clueless?" Their voices faded as Remus dragged Sirius to the shower.

James decided to be quick, he didn't want her to be even more angry. He dressed casual and didn't spend too long on his hair, he was downstairs before everyone arrived. During his shower, he had taken the decision to admit his feelings to Daphne today. There was no better day than his birthday to confess his love to her.

Perhaps that was a stupid thing to do but James didn't mind being stupid in front of her.

"Nice skirt," James commented, laying his eyes on her. She wore a black skirt with a red jumper. "And a nice jumper."

Daphne rolled her eyes, "You only like the colour."

James smirked, taking a step closer to her, his finger grazing the fabric. He could have sworn he had heard Daphne's breathing stop, "Gryffindors colour," he whispered softly, moving his finger closer to her face as he moved a lock of hair on the side. "It would have been better with a gold skirt."

Daphne grimaced, "That's awful, Potter."

He shrugged, "You would have looked beautiful either way."

Daphne gulped slowly, her eyes switching between James's eyes and his lips. She noticed how his eyes never left her lips and she felt the pad of the thumb caressing her lower lip softly. Daphne felt the need to shrink away, to get out of his grip because she didn't know how long she could stay here. The tension weighed on her shoulders and she wondered what James was doing.

"Thank you," she articulated, stepping back. She released a breath, noticing how his eyes had softened. Thankfully, she was saved by the bell. "I will get that."

"Right."

Nothing much happened after. The Weasley arrived first, then the Longbottom and lastly, the Tonks. Andromeda and Ted had apologised thousands of times, claiming that Nymphadora had caused a scene right before leaving. With a smile and a tap on the back, James told them it was alright. It was safe to say that Ted Tonks was the boy's favourite, even Remus seemed to find him interesting. Daphne had spent most of the day with Andromeda, Molly and sometimes the kids.

"So," Andromeda nudged Daphne's side once Molly had left, she had a drink in hand and a cigarette in the other. "What is it about you and Potter?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on!" She exclaimed with a chuckle. "I've seen the way he looks at you. He wants you," she told her, taking a long drag and exhaled it right on Daphne's face. "And something tells me that you, my dear cousin, want him as well."

"Salazar..." Daphne breathed out, taking the cigarette out of Andromeda's hand and put it between her lips. The smoke soon invaded her lungs and she blew the smoke away in relief. The whole discussion made her want to disappear.

"Oi!"

"Is that obvious?" She whispered in Andy's ear, knowing James was good at reading on people's lips and she knew that he was staring at them–well, her. "Salazar, Andy, he's–"

"Daph, it is written all over your face–I'll take that back," she said, stealing back the cigarette. "He has been staring the whole afternoon. He's that close to throwing himself at you."

"Well, I might be closer."

Andromeda smiled softly, "What is stopping you?"

Instinctively, she reached for her engagement ring, "I don't know."

"Darling," Andromeda started, noticing where her hand was. "Fabian is not going to be mad at you for liking James again."

"I don't know, Andy. I need air," she whispered, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

Daphne escaped outside where the air had turned cold and she cussed for not grabbing her coat before going outside. On her way outside, she had taken a cigarette from Andromeda's pack that had been lying on the table and with the tip of her wand, she lit the stick. Daphne felt somehow at peace, smoking had always been part of her life and she missed the times where she would smoke in secret with Evan.

"It is going to get difficult for me to keep your secret if I keep walking on you smoking," a way too familiar voice echoed behind her. She didn't bother turning around, knowing well that he would join her on the stairs. "You know, Sirius doesn't smoke anymore."

Daphne rolled her eyes, "He does. At night, mostly."

"What?"

She chuckled, "After a loud and good shag with Remus, they smoke together. I smell it."

"Oh," James scratched the back of his neck softly. "Daphne?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for today and for everything really," he told her with a smile. "Ted got me a strange gift. It is a muggle thing, I couldn't even describe it to you."

Daphne snorted, blowing the smoke away, "Andy told me."

"Can I ask you questions about Fabian?" He found himself asking and it surprised Daphne because she widened her eyes. "I won't, if you don't want to, of course."

"No, no, go ahead."

James cleared his throat, "How was it loving him?"

Daphne smiled, "Loving Fabian was brilliant. He was good and pure at heart," she explained. "He always made sure I was safe and okay. He trusted me from the beginning. He was my sun."

"I see," he replied with a hum. "Was he the love of your life?"

She breathed out quietly but loud enough for James to hear it, he turned his head to look at her and waited, "In some ways, he was, yes."

"Good," James finally said. He didn't miss how the sun rays reflected on her pale skin and how she squinted her eyes to see better. "You deserved him."

"The love I had for him was different from the love I had for you," she explained, crushing the cigarette in the grass. "It was bigger and somehow felt more mature. You and I were two teenagers, sneaking out and kissing in cupboards. I never had to hide with Fabian."

James hummed understanding her point of view. His love for Lily felt the same but then he wondered if the love he had for Daphne now was similar to what she was describing. Surely, they weren't teenagers anymore. James was a father and she was an amazing person. Having a child did make James more mature, he felt the responsibilities weighing on his shoulders now that he was parenting Harry on his own.

"Do you reckon we could ever find that love back?"

"Our love?"

"Yes. Our love," he repeated, his heart thumping in his ribcage. "Oh, Merlin...I might just spill the beans now, Daph. I think I love you still. I mean–" he paused, biting his lower lip and not trying to mind her facial expressions. "I do love you. I know, it is stupid and strange that it is all coming back to me now but...It feels like a stubborn love, you know?"

"James," she said but he shushed her rapidly.

"I need to get this out," he pleaded quietly, running a hand through his hair. "You made me happy again, you made me smile and laugh when I felt like hiding under a blanket. You are the light at the end of the tunnel. I love you."

Daphne gaped at him, trying to find the right words to express what she was feeling but nothing came up. Salazar, she would have killed for another cigarette right now. The palm of her hands rubbed anxiously against the fabric of her skirt and she tried to ignore his eyes, burning the side of her face or even her loud heart that threatened to jump out of her chest.

Unsurely, she looked at him and she let out a soft breath. Daphne wasn't sure he had ever laid eyes on her with that look, it seemed so raw and so pure. He was truly in love. Daphne knew she had feelings for him, though she had a hard time drawing the line. Was it just some old feelings or was it love?

"Kiss me?"

His eyes widened, "What?"

"Kiss me, James."

James shyly reached for her cheek with one hand, he let the pad of his thumb caress her cheekbone, they were a little more defined than before. Licking his lips, he leaned down until he could feel her breath on his lips and he let out a shaky sigh. Perhaps this could be the first and last kiss they share and James wasn't sure he was ready to let go of the moment yet.

"Are you sure?" He queried, bopping his nose against hers.

"Yes, I am."

That was all it took for him to press his lips on hers. The kiss was slow and passionate. It almost reminded him of the first one they had shared in that empty classroom. Her hand reached for his hair as she let it travel through his curls. James pulled away against his will, resting his forehead against hers and waited. If he opened his eyes, the moment would go away and he would be met with the harsh reality of maybe not being loved back.

"It reminds me of our first," Daphne admitted after a moment, a little chuckle escaping her mouth. "So messy."

James smiled, "I'd say passionate," he corrected as she shrugged. "It was good."

"Yes, it was."

"Is–"

"I do love you," she blurred out. "I realised it at Christmas."

He blushed and he was thankful that they had their eyes closed, "Since bloody Christmas? Why didn't you kiss me earlier?"

"You wanker, I was not going to kiss you out of the blue!" She argued.

"You could have."

"No, besides your confession was romantic."

James laughed, "Oh, so Daphne Rosier likes romanticism now?"

"I've changed."

"I know," he replied, knowing that under her joking tone, she was trying to warn him about it. She was not the same Daphne Rosier he had loved at Hogwarts but he knew that. "I'll love you anyway. I'm ready to try."

"Are you?"

"Fuck yes!" He exclaimed. "Are you?"

"I guess so."

James didn't say anything, there was nothing to say really. Instead, he leaned back in and kissed her with a little more passion this time. Daphne Rosier was his again.

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authors note, omg 4 more chapters to go?? this is actually insane, i can't believe im almost done with it