we used to be such great friends
what ever happened to that?
i feel invisible when they're around
my crush notices me more than you do
you used to be the one person i could trust
but now you've gone with someone new
and that's fine, go ahead
by all means, don't let me keep you from happiness
i just feel pathetic talking to you
because you only talk to me
when there's no one else to talk to
i know you'll end up reading this
and you'll try to talk about it with me
and I'm sure you know who you are
but i don't care
i needed to say this
and i'd like it if you wouldn't bother me about it
i'm sorry if this makes you feel bad somehow
but you've made me feel worse
even if it wasn't your intention
i'm sorry that i'm so emotionally fragile
and that the simplest things hurt me
that i'm so weak and small
and annoying and awkward
and such a terrible person
but at least you've never told me
that my best friend only talks to me
when there's no one else
even though it isn't true
one person said this to me
not that you would know about that
but you're not my best friend
and it's true in your case
i shouldn't publish this
i don't really want you to read this
and know how vulnerable i am
i hate feeling vulnerable
and i already feel vulnerable
from the other things going on in my life
which you would know all about
if you weren't talking to the others
but there's no hard feelings on my part
i'm just hurting at the moment
because i have a fragile heart
that's already been broken
and didn't need to be broken again
but it's a little late for that, is it not?
and that's not even entirely your fault
the one i love has eyes for another
but that's okay
you've got better friends than me
and that's okay
i'm broken-hearted and fragile
so it's all okay
don't worry about little people like me
because i don't matter
we were so close
and i would say i don't know what happened
but that's not true
i know it's because of your new friends that we rarely speak
and that's okay
all is forgiven
there's nothing to forgive
i knew it would happen soon enough
though you said it wouldn't
and i was taken aback but not quite surprised
it's not like I'm worth sticking around for
i'm only sticking around
for the one
the one person i feel like
i truly love
you know who it is
but i kind of wish you didn't
but i think that's not nice of me
and i always worry about being nice
to people who are deserving of it
i don't want to say you're undeserving
because you're really not the worst person out there
i'm a worse person than you are
but i try not to be that way
i try to get along with people
but most of them are cruel
so i choose to ignore them
and say bad things about them
when talking to myself
which i'm not ashamed of doing
even in public
because it's not like anyone notices me anyway
i'm about as invisible as the air around us
but i'm less important than air, of course
people need air
no one needs me
not you
not the one
not anyone
and that's okay
everything is just okay
i used to tell people
you were the one person
i knew would be there for me
no matter what
but you've proven that to be untrue
and i feel stupid for saying that
i wish i could be good enough for you
and i could be good enough for the one
but that will never happen
i'll never be good enough for anyone