i feel like
i'm not cool enough
to hang out with you
not funny enough
to be with your group
not handsome enough
to be a real boy
that i'll never be loved
because i'm so freaking weird
my own parents say it
i'm a freak
i'm not kind enough
i treat people horribly
at least i think so
as soon as i get close to someone
one of us fucks it up
and i'm tired of that
i'm a disgrace
to my family
my friends
my school
myself
i wish i could just
turn off some character traits
magically change myself
to have my gender match that i was born with
to be into guys
to not be such a geeky nerd
to be...
normal
to fit in
to have friends
that won't leave
and i can wholeheartedly trust
that i feel worthy of

i'm not
nice enough
handsome enough
manly enough
cool enough
normal enough
i'm just not enough

i was born to be a freak
and maybe it's time i come to terms with that
you can't blend in when you were born to stand out
so why should i try
i'm a boy
but i'm female-born
i'm not attracted to boys
that are born as boys
i'm an anomaly
i've got a disease
but it's not a disease
it's just that
mum makes it feel like one

why
did god
choose to make us suffer
when he supposedly loves us so?
why
do they
let people be so cruel
and let it pass off as being "religious"
when these haters are making people hate everything about themselves?
people
are dying
because others
just can't be nice
and shut the fuck up when they don't like someone