sometimes
i feel like a stranger
when i look in the mirror
i can't find myself
but i can see it in my head
they look at me
and call me 'miss'
i just want to be called sir
just once
to know how it feels
but hearing the right pronouns
imagining the right appearance
just makes the lack of those things
hurt even more

i look at myself
and see a stranger
i see that my hair is growing out
i see that i don't have an adam's apple
i see that my chest isn't flat
i see the slight curve of my waist
and i hate it all

once you start hating yourself
it's nearly impossible to stop