So what if Caleb had a new boyfriend? What did it matter to Kyle? Why should he have even bothered to care? The thing was, he didn't want to care, but in a way, he did. It killed him to actually care that it somewhat bothered him. Caleb's choice was not the exact bother, it was the fact that he'd moved on so quickly, or had he? It could've all been an act of jealousy. It hadn't even been a week, not even a few or couple days.

Kyle took time to think it through and try to figure out why it bothered him, because he honestly had no clue. He of course didn't mention how Caleb's moving on bothered him slightly. He met up with Craig, Tweek, and Stan for coffee on Saturday morning like they'd planned on doing.

"Hey Kyle," Tweek was the first one to spot the familiar redhead walking into the coffee shop. Craig waved at Stan's significant other briefly.

"Hi babe," Stan said when Kyle got closer to the table.

"Hey," He accepted the small kiss Stan put on his lips. He sensed that something was up with Kyle, something was just kind of off with him. Craig and Tweek got to the coffee shop and already ordered their drinks.

"I still haven't ordered, wanna come up with me?" Stan asked his boyfriend.

Kyle got up from his seat, "Sure." The two walked up to the counter. Their eyes scanned over the menu carefully. A few new things had been added like the double chocolate brownie and the cinnamon roll latte. Kyle decided to try the new latte. Stan wasn't too big on flavored coffee, so he just got an iced coffee with two creams and two sugars.

"You okay?"

"Mhm, why?" Kyle didn't even try to make eye contact with his boyfriend.

"Nothing's on your mind?" Stan wasn't about to believe that nothing wasn't on Kyle's mind.

"Why would it seem like something's on my mind?" That was a clear sign to Stan that something was indeed off about Kyle.

"Will you talk to me about it after this? We can go to my house if you like," Stan wanted to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering his boyfriend.

"Yeah we can hang out," Kyle took his latte from the lady across the counter and walked back to the table. Stan's coffee was handed to him seconds later. He took it and thanked the lady. He made it back to the table and sat down.

"What'd you guys get?" Tweek wondered.

"Cinnamon roll latte," Kyle answered before taking a sip.

"Just a regular iced coffee with cream and sugar," Stan replied. Tweek nodded his head. Craig began talking about his birthday party he was trying to put together. He wanted to have it at his house while his parents were out of town, and they would be on the weekend the day of his birth fell on. Mr. and Mrs. Tucker were going to a ski resort in Alaska. Every year, the entire Tucker family tried to go, but Craig didn't want to since he wanted to have the party. The family was planning on doing something for Craig's birthday in Alaska, but he didn't feel like going this year.

"My parents will be out of town that weekend," Craig said aloud.

"They don't care if you have a party?" Stan asked with the straw of his plastic coffee cup touching his bottom lip.

"I just have to clean up whatever mess is made," Craig replied. Kyle's mind was off in the land of constant thinking. He was letting this get the best of him and he really hated it. He never loved Caleb, so he was so confused as to why he was bothered by the fact that he was with another boy.

"Kyle? Kyle?" Craig has to repeat Kyle's name to get his attention.

"Hm?"

"You gonna come?" Craig asked.

"To what? Your birthday party? Oh yeah, yeah I'll come," Kyle took a long sip of his latte that was actually better than he thought. Craig sent Stan a text asking what was up with Kyle. Stan's text tone was silent, so Kyle didn't end up hearing it. Stan responded with saying he wasn't sure. Tweek was already halfway through his coffee and Craig was about there as well.

"We better not have another test for awhile," Stan remarked, referring to the last test from Mr. Tarna's class. Stan didn't do very well. A sixty-seven wasn't what he needed to get his grade up for history class, especially with Mr. Tarna, since he was rumored to be one of the toughest teachers in South Park High School. It wasn't even a rumor, it was the truth, Other than a few other teachers, he was a tough one. Kyle did well, an eighty-eight was in his typical range of grades for history class.

Sheila texted Kyle and asked him to come home without Stan; she wanted to speak to him in private. Kyle responded back, saying he'd be right there.

"Guys, I gotta go. Mom has to talk to me," Kyle got up from the table, "I'll catch up with you guys later." The redhead didn't even bother to give his boyfriend a goodbye hug or kiss.

Stan walked after him and spun him around once Kyle had gotten outside the coffee shop, "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can tell something's off with you," Stan was so confused and so curious all at the same time.

"I really don't know what you're talking about," Kyle shrugged with his latte in his left hand.

Stan was almost speechless at Kyle lying to him, "Are you serious right now?"

"Look, I gotta go. I'll text you in a little bit," Kyle tried to walk off again, but his shoulder was grabbed with very little force.

"Why are you lying to me?"

"Mom is expecting-"

Stan cut off his boyfriend's attempt at trying to escape the uncomfortable conversation, "I don't care. Please just tell me what's up with you." Kyle sighed; he glanced down at his feet with frustration fighting to leave his body in an unpleasant way. He was frustrated with himself. What he was thinking and feeling, stressed him out majorly.

"You'll hate me,"

Stan's eyebrows drooped down in confusion, "What? Why would I hate you?" Kyle was fighting to not spit it out, he knew if he didn't, though, bad things would spiral out of control and could possibly ruin everything he and Stan rekindled.

"When I saw Caleb with that guy, it like...bothered me a little," It had slipped out of his mouth and jumped off of his moving lips. It was now out there in the open for discussion, and Stan heard every word of it.

"So, you're bothered by your ex-boyfriend kissing another guy after you cheated on him, lied to him, and got back together with me?" Stan made Kyle feel even more guilty, not completely on purpose, but a little bit was intended to guilt trip him.

"I don't want to be bothered by it, but it confuses me as to why he moved on that quickly,"

"You cheated on him!" Stan reminded Kyle with an exclaimed tone of voice.

"I made mistakes and I still hate that I had to hurt him, because he was genuinely a good person and I know he still is. I didn't have feelings for him like I still do for you, but he-" Kyle paused in slow realization.

"But he what?"

"He didn't help me get over you, he didn't make me happier than you do, he didn't give me reasons to fall in love with him, and he...he wasn't you," Kyle looked at Stan with apologetic eyes. He felt so stupid and ridiculous and petty. Stan looked off to the side, away from the boy in front of him, and then started a footpath back to his house.

"Stan, where are you going?" Kyle asked.

"Home," Stan mumbled loud enough so Kyle could hear it. He didn't feel like turning around because worry and anger was flowing through his bloodstream and making everything seem ten times worse than it actually was. Kyle had said so little, but made such a big difference to Stan's mood.

"But I-" Kyle didn't bother to finish, all Stan was doing was continuing to make his way home, not bothering to pay attention to what Kyle was trying to tell him. Kyle's boyfriend had made it home safe. Craig and Tweek were still sitting in the coffee shop when Kyle came back in with the look of shame on his face.

Craig glanced up, "Thought you had to get home." Kyle took his seat at the table and got right to explaining the situation with  what he was feeling. Tweek and Craig listened carefully and nodded here and there. While Kyle was talking to his two friends, Stan was up in the bathroom, staring at the razor blade he pulled out from a new package of razors. It was just lying there, staring up at him like it always used to. It was demanding several things without a real human's voice.

Every time Stan looked at one of those things, he felt pressured to use it; he felt as if someone was behind him, poking his back, and telling him to slice a new cut open in his arm or leg, or both. He knew it was all fake, yet it felt so raw and real. He hadn't even considered picking up a razor blade since he got Kyle back in his life as his forever life partner. There was no need for the painful body drawings anymore, unless something bad happened; of course, something bad did in fact happen. Now, in Stan's brain there was only one thing left to do.

He asked himself why he thought everything would get totally better after getting back with his other half. Life was no easy ride, Stan learned that the hard way, by resorting to self-harm in difficult situations. He still loves me, doesn't he? He said he was bothered by Caleb being with someone else. If he really did love me, why would something like that bother him in the slightest?  Stan's conversation with himself involved questions that stressed him out the second he spoke them in his mind.

Sharon was out at the grocery store buying food for the upcoming week, Randy had to go into work because his boss needed him to, so the only person in the house was Stan. His phone began to ring, call after call, text after text. The electronically made tones went off in his ears, only causing annoyance to build a tall skyscraper over his anger and worry.

"I'm not gonna do this shit," Stan said out loud. He walked out of the bathroom quickly while the small razor blade sat on the sink countertop.

"He won't go back to Caleb, he doesn't want him anymore," The convincing Stan was trying to do was sort of working; he kept going, kept up the conversation and fought against his unwanted urge as best he could. He wondered how long he could keep it up, because he was slowly slipping by the second.