Bharat, out of breath: Wow, sorry everyone. I didn't mean to be late. I was-

Shatrughan: Bhaiyya. How could you be late? Do you know what could have happened in your absence? Do you?

Bharat: But let me-

Shatrughan: There could have been a great rishi here, hoping to see you. 

Lakshman: You could have enraged that rishi by not showing up on time.

Shatrughan: You see, that rishi wanted for you to paint his ashram. And he had showed up in the throne room to get a sample of your portrait work.

Shatrughan: And because you showed up late, you painted him all wonky.

Lakshman: You gave him reptile eyes.  You gave him lizard-like eyebrows.  You accidentally made his dhoti a gecko colored green instead of orange.

Shatrughan: The rishi would be enraged at your preoccupation with geckos instead of other things like dharma and righteousness and justice and all that.

Lakshman: Then that rishi would have cursed you to never be able to paint anything but geckos for the rest of your life. 

Shatrughan: Then Papa would tell Maa Kaikeyi what happened.

Lakshman: Then Maa Kaikeyi would tell Maa Sumitra.

Shatrughan: Then Maa Sumitra would think we were involved somehow. Maybe Lakshman accidentally killed a gecko or something, which then somehow coerced you into painting it. 

Lakshman: Then Maa Sumitra would scold us.

Shatrughan: Then we would scold you.

Lakshman: Then Ram bhaiyya would get angry at us for shouting at an elder and realize that we always mess everything up anyways and that we shouldn't stay in the kingdom and we should be exiled forever. 

Shatrughan: WE WOULD BE EXILED FOREVER-

Lakshman: RAM BHAIYYA WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED-

Shatrughan: Then, because royal people like us couldn't possibly live in exile, we'd ally with the local gecko clan. 

Lakshman: Ram bhaiyya would probably be disappointed at that too. 

Shatrughan: We'd learn of an ancient spell from the geckos on how to kill all rakshasas everywhere. 

Lakshman: We'd wage war on the rakshasas with the aid of the gecko clan, promising demon carnage EVERYWHERE-

Shatrughan: The legend of the two gecko heroes would spread across the mainland!

Lakshman: And by that time, Ram bhaiyya might not be as disappointed in us, and might come to help us and the geckos eliminate the final demon army. 

Shatrughan: And Lakshman would be so excited by that, that he'd be late showing up to the final battle. 

Lakshman: And alas, the Rishi's curse on the rest of our family was that whenever anyone in our family would be late, it would rain geckos. 

Shatrughan: So in one fell swoop, all of our allies have disappeared and are now raining down on us, and all three of us die a terrible, gecko crushing death. 

Lakshman: Ram bhaiyya might survive, actually.

Shatrughan: But us two would definitely die. 

Lakshman: And you'd have to live the rest of your life being only able to paint a monsoon of geckos. 

Shatrughan: And solely guilty of the ghastly gecko genocides. 

Shatrughan: So don't be late. 

Shatrughan: Or face the wrath of the geckos. 

Everyone: ...

Bharat: ....

Ram: So, what were you doing, Bharat, that made you late?

Bharat: I-I-

Shatrughan: Speak up, bhaiyya.

Bharat: Maa was showing me how to toss geckos out of the room-

Shatrughan: AHHHHHHHHH-

Shatrughan: THEY HAVE FOUND US-

Shatrughan: THE GECKO ELDERS HAVE CURSED OUR FAMILY-

Lakshman: RAM BHAIYYA, PLEASE DON'T EXILE ME-

Ram: What-

Bharat: ...

Bharat: AHHHH. I DON'T WANT TO PAINT GECKOS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFEEE-

Bharat: PLEASE, GURUJI, DON'T CURSE ME. I WILL NEVER BE LATE AGAIN-

Vashisht: Uh-

Random Rishimuni: Uh-

Dasharath: Why hello there. Welcome to my courtoom. Does anyone have any questions as to why I'm picking Ram to ascend the throne?

A/N: 🦎