Summary
If angels can fall,
So can houseplants.

And if Crowley is moving in...
The plants are coming with.

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Word Count: 1765

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Combined requests by: boof601 and LittleBatsTime

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"...Obviously, I don't mind you staying here until you find another flat, it's not imposing if you've known someone for six thousand years, dear," Aziraphale let out a small wheeze as he set down a particularly large plant beside the coffee maker in the back room, sitting up and placing his hands on his hips. He was quite thankful for the fact that he'd taken his jacket off for the work, wearing a white, long-sleeved under shirt along with his normal vest and pants, even if it didn't extinguish the heat from the labor, it certainly did help, "This is the last one then?"

Crowley nodded, dusting off his hands, in a similar outfit to Aziraphale's only with his own dark scheme of clothes, glasses perched on his head for the time being, "Should be." He nodded.

"Thank heavens." Aziraphale sighed, walking over to his couch and sitting down, snapping to miracle away the growing sweat on him,  "Remind me again, why we couldn't have just miracled them all here from your flat?"

"Don't thank those bastards- and they need to know the hardship of having their life uprooted, they can't just be snapped into a different location, they have to experience the pain that is waiting." Crowley sneered.

"Lovely." Aziraphale sniffed, "Why don't you come and sit for a bit? Dry yourself off." He offered with a pat on the couch cushion beside him, "You've been kicked out of your living arrangements and had to move all in one day, you quite deserve a break."

Crowley scoffed, "I'm not going to live somewhere where it's considered a disgrace," He used the word mockingly, "To own a pet snake- can you imagine?" He smirked, "Owning a snake as a pet? We're ferocious beings, angel, I'm telling you,"

"Of course, dear, of course." Aziraphale sighed.

"Not my fault the landlord came in while I was shedding. The nerve of some people, Angel, really, I don't know how you deal with so many humans in your shop all the time." Crowley grumbled.

"Well, I don't exactly enjoy their presence." Aziraphale sighed, "They just don't cherish books the way they should- and so many of them leave their children here as if it's my duty to look after them!"

"I'll scare 'em away next time they come, just watch." Crowley narrowed his eyes.

"Stop pretending like you don't adore children." Aziraphale rolled his eyes.

"It's not as if I adore them, I'm just not going to kill any." Crowley scoffed.

"Do come sit." Aziraphale beckoned the demon.

"Would love to, but I have to tend to these buggers." He shot glared at the plants that currently occupied multiple areas in the bookshop- there was a different one down every isle and then a few in the back room, "Don't think I won't raise my voice so all of you can hear me!" Crowley shouted around the room.

"Quieter." Aziraphale hissed.

"No can do, Angel, can't allow them to grow soft on me now, can I?" He kept his sharp gaze on the shaking leaves, "You hear that?" He raised his voice, "Don't think it'll be any different now that you're here! If I find even one impurity on any of you, I'll throw you in the-" He lowered his voice and turned to Aziraphale, "Do you happen to have a garbage disposal, Angel?"

Aziraphale quickly shook his head.

"I'll de-pot you and feed you and throw you in the gutter! Leaf by leaf! Down the sewage drain! You think a spot is bad? How about the shit that humans throw down their pipes?!"

The plants shook harder.

"You're scaring them, Crowley!" Aziraphale stood up abruptly.

"That's the point." Crowley looked confused.

"You need to show them love, not hate!" Aziraphale scolded.

Crowley stalked up to the angel who met his gaze steadily, "Are you questioning my ability to grow plants?"

Aziraphale simply set a glare.

"Because these happen to be the most luscious plants in all of England and that's thanks to their upbringing. If they decide to go spotty on me, punishments must be established." He said this loud enough for the plants to hear.

"That's plant abuse!" Aziraphale threw his hands up in the air in dismay, "It's not fair to them!"

Crowley clicked his tongue, "Neither is the way life works, Angel, but we live it anyway."

"You can't blame them for- for what? Spots?"

Crowley nodded confirmation.

"They can't control their spots, Crowley! It's how they grow!" Aziraphale sputtered.

"There are lots of things we can't control that we get punished for," Crowley lifted his chin, "Desires, sin- and we fix those things by desposin' of them."

Aziraphale was at a loss for words, his mouth simply opening and closing as he searched for them.

Crowley turned away from the angel, "Now, if you don't mind, I've got some plants to take care'f." He went to where some packed boxes were, snapping to summon a plant mister into his hand. He then perused over to the first plant closest to him and began spraying it, glancing over it for any impurities as it shook under his gaze.

Aziraphale sighed and sat down on the couch, more rigid than when he initially had sat down there. He chose to pick up the book he'd been reading to distract himself from the chaos that was Crowley's gardening before finding that said book was nowhere in sight.
He silently cursed to himself as he figured he must have set it down by the back of the shop where they had set the first plants.
He got up with a grunt and turned towards the doorway that led to the very back and began looking around skeptically.
He was positive that he had had to have set it down somewhere over here, for it wouldn't be anywhere else.
His eyes flickered over the multiple surfaces of counters and tabletops and shelves before landing under a cup of cocoa. He grinned and went over to the mug, lifting it up and pausing to take a sip before setting it beside the book and picking it up, looking quite happy with himself as he leaned against a shelf to take another sip from his cocoa as he opened the book.

He nearly spit out his drink when he heard a loud scream come from the other room.

"WHAT IS THIS? A BLEMISH!? You know we don't tolerate this under my, or my angel's, roof, do we?" Crowley tsked, "Say goodbye to your friends, you don't deserve them anymore." Footsteps led to the front of the shop where the bell, to signify an entrance or exit, rang.

Aziraphale was too hung up over the fact that Crowley had called him his angel before the severity of the situation set of him and he bolted towards the front of the store.
Crowley was about to commit plant murder.
Aziraphale followed at as fast of a pace as he could before busting the front door open and panting as he looked from left to right, his gaze landing on the nearest gutter, no Crowley in sight-

"Oh dear god, he's already done it." Aziraphale fretted, ambling towards the gutter. He paused before it, not daring to look down before he crouched down and looked in.

He didn't see exactly what he had expected.

Crowley and the plant were there...but not where he'd expected.
The sewer had a small trickle of water going down it but other than that was covered in muck. Above the muck, past where any water level dared to go, was soil with weeds growing out of it— and Crowley.

Aziraphale watched from his peaking vantage point as he saw Crowley step away from a newly planted plant.

Crowley sighed, "Quite the fallen angel you've been. You'll live down here, there's just enough to get you by- ya' may not like it but you'll live." He paused to pluck a leaf from it, the one containing the blemish, "Now you've gone and lost your wings. I'm sure the others that you've influenced will be down 'ere with you soon, so don't think you'll be lonely for long." He paused to scowl, "Don't give me that look, you're a fallen plant now, you don't get to look at me like that."

Aziraphale backed away slowly before standing beside the gutter, a pained expression on his face.
He should have known better.
He should have connected the dots.
He was startled back into current thought at a nudge on his shoulder.

"Angel?" Crowley cocked an eyebrow.

Aziraphale flinched, "O-Oh- sorry, just blessing the lost life..."

"Don't do that while I'm here- could explode." Crowley hummed.

Aziraphale nodded blankly.

"What's up with you, Angel?"

Aziraphale looked over and made the mistake of making eye-contact with Crowley, "I'm- I'm sorry."

Crowley looked confused, "You'll need to be a bit more specific- and step up onto the sidewalk before you get run over. People drive insanely sometimes." He sniffed.

Such as certain Bentleys.

Aziraphale pauses before taking Crowley's hand gently.

Crowley looked like he might pull away but decided against it with what little part of him told him not to.

"I didn't know- I didn't...I should have- is that really how you see angels in heaven?"

"What?" Crowley looked more confused before realization dawned upon him and his features turned red, "That's not what that was."

"It seemed like it-"

Crowley slowly pulled his hand away, "Things have to be dealt with."

"Not like that..."

"That's the only way-!" Crowley snapped before deciding against that and looking away.

Aziraphale's heart broke, "That's the only way...you know how?" He murmured.

Crowley shrugged.

"Crowley..." Aziraphale sighed.

"Don't act as if I'm something that needs pity." Crowley glared.

"You don't need pity, Crowley, you need love...something you haven't- have you ever had that, my dear?"

Another shrug.

Aziraphale took his hand again and when the demon tried to pull away he simply gave him a tight squeeze of reassurance.

"My plants grow fine." Crowley growled.

"Yes, but in fear."

"Are you not afraid of heaven?" Crowley accused.

This made Aziraphale flinch and he looked at the ground.

Crowley sighed, "I didn't-"

"No, no, it's okay- I am." Aziraphale admitted.

Crowley went quiet.

"But...well, I've got you now, haven't I?"

Crowley looked over with a questioning eyebrow.

"If heaven is going to try and take me- they'll have to get through you, correct?

"If anyone tries to take you, Angel-"

"If anyone tries to take you...they'll have to go through me, Crowley." Aziraphale intertwined their fingers.

Crowley bit his lip.

"There's more than one way to grow."

"Maybe.."

"Certainly."

"You'll—"

"I'll try."

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!!These chapters make me so happy to write especially now that I can produce them faster, even if they're shorter, I'll save the longer for occasion!!
Please don't forget to vote if you enjoyed the chapter <3
-Jay😇😈

P.S:
While I think most of us interpreted the fact that Crowley projects onto his plants, some specific ideas concerning what he does with the plants ((I honestly just believed he planted them outside while he runs the garbage disposal but this person put that in more precious/relevant terms)) came from this post ((seen below)) so I figured I should give some credit there:

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