[15] – Battlefield

Rory was extremely excited for studio on Friday morning. He and Paul had decided to start to tutor crafts today and because Rory was never really good at making things with his hands, he was really pumped to learn. He’d volunteered to buy the necessary items and whistled as he got ready for the day.

As usual, Andrew was already in school and Rory moved to his private studio to remove the new, fresh bag of clay he’d bought the day before, moving it to the sitting room and calling a cab. He headed to the kitchen to bring out one of the packaged pineapples from the fridge, nibbling on the contents while he waited for his cab.

If not that Jeremy was busy today with Harry, Rory was sure he would have picked him up. But since she was essentially going to be selling her art with them, the both of them had been working hard all week to make a little spot for her to be able to work comfortably in the studio. There were about two extra rooms in the office and they were currently renovating one to fit Harry’s taste. Of course, she said she wouldn’t be working there alone, that by the time she was settled and selling her art and working properly for Jeremy, it would attract more famous artists to sign contracts with Walker Design Studios and that was saying a lot.

Rory’s phone rang, alerting him that the cab had arrived and he quickly finished up his pineapples, picking up the big bag of red clay and his satchel before making his way out, making sure to lock the door behind him.

He couldn’t help beaming with excitement as the cab neared the studio and was practically dancing out of it by the time they got there. He paid the driver and skipped inside, immediately making his way to Laura and glancing up at Jeremy’s closed office door.

“You just missed him,” Laura said when she noticed Rory’s questioning stare and the bleached blonde blushed guiltily.

“Oh?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “he just left with Harry to get more materials for her private studio. I think they’re probably also going to go to her old studio to get her portfolios and stuff so he probably wouldn’t be back until lunch.”

“Okay, thank you!” Rory beamed at her, “just give me a signal if he gets back while I’m busy, okay?”

“Sure thing sweetums. See you later.”

Rory waved and then moved over to the kids’ studio to say hi to Minnie and Simon. It was still early so only a few of the kids have shown up. More parents could be seen dropping their children off and signing them in.

When most of the children spotted Rory, they were instantly flying into him, knocking into his legs and nearly toppling him over.

He laughed cheerfully, patting each one of them on the head, “it’s good to see you too!”

“Uncle Rory! Look! I drew a fire truck!”

“Minnie told us to draw and colour something red yesterday!”

“Mhm, mine was a lady bug!”

“I drew superman ‘cause he has a red cape!”

Rory laughed and squatted down so that he was their heights, commending them on their wonderful drawings and making them all blush and beam happily at him. Like they’d been doing since he left, they began to whine about how much they missed him and when was he going to come back and that it didn’t feel right with Minnie. Rory only laughed at them and told them that he wasn’t really gone; he was just in the next room because the ‘bigger’ kids needed his help now.

They seemed satisfied with that answer and rushed back into their studio to chatter amongst themselves excitedly.

“Now how on earth am I going to compete with that?” Minnie said teasingly, raising an eyebrow as Rory got up from his squatting position.

He blushed at her statement, “oh, you’ll be fine. Just give them some more time.”

“But they just adore you! They keep asking for when you’re going to come back and that does not do good things for my poor beautiful ego.”

Rory laughed and rolled his eyes, “glad to know you’re enjoying this.”

“Oh I am, no doubt.”

“Hey Simon!” Rory called, waving at Simon who was resting against the desk in the room and chewing on the end of a pen, eyes furrowed in concentration as he eyed the class register. His pink hair was already fading gradually and the roots were a lazy brown, showing off his hair’s real colour.

The Irish lad looked up at Rory’s call and grinned, “’Sup, lover boy?”

Rory blushed but he was rolling his eyes, moving up until he was resting against the desk beside Simon, “how’s it going?” They both knew what Rory was talking about. In a few weeks, Simon’s parents were going to finalize their divorce. Rory could tell that Simon was trying to be strong about it, but he’d kind of been watching him and he knew that Simon was still slightly troubled by everything, despite the brave font he put on.

“Okay, I guess,” Simon shrugged, trying to look casual like the topic didn’t bother him at all, “could be better but I’m managing.”

Rory pursed his lips and then gently gave Simon’s hand a brief squeeze, “If you need anything, I’m only a text away.”

Simon wrinkled his nose but he looked grateful, “That sounds like a really bad commercial.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘infomercial’,” Minnie said with a giggle.

“Are you eavesdropping on our conversation?” Rory said, clutching at his heart dramatically, pretending to look aghast, “why I never!”

They all laughed and Rory got off the table, making his way to the door and waving at them, “I’ll see you all later. Paul and I are starting crafts today and I’m bloody excited!”

“Have fun!” Minnie and Simon called cheerfully and he waved at them before making his way over to the studio for the adults.

“Hey,” Paul greeted when he spotted Rory and Rory beamed back at him.

Only a few of the adults were present but it was still early so Rory left them to chat while he made his way to the single desk in the room, Paul sat behind it working on his laptop.

“I got the clay,” Rory said, grinning excitedly, “I’m so excited for today. I really love making things, you know? But I was never good at it. I’m taking this as a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

Paul grinned at him, “I’m happy to hear that. I find it extreme fun too. Can I see the clay?”

“Sure,” Rory handed him the see-through plastic bag. The clay was kept in it so that it wouldn’t dry up and Paul opened the plastic to feel the red moulded sand.

He nodded happily, “this is very good.”

Rory blushed with pleasure, “I know! I made sure to get the best for our first class.”

“Well then, I’m sure we’re going to have lots of fun today getting messy,” Paul winked and Rory chuckled, blushing harder at the slight innuendo.

When he moved around the table to look at what Paul was doing, he realized that Paul was watching videos of people doing pottery. Paul normally looked at videos and tutorials online before he started teaching at the studio. He said that it helped him teach easier when he learned from examples. Rory on the other hand just showed up and went with the flow.

It surprisingly made for good teamwork because where Paul was using references; Rory always had some fresh new ideas and pointers that made the class all the more interesting.

“What do you think?” Paul asked as he paused one of the videos he was watching to look up at Rory, “how far should we go today? I was thinking that everyone design a table set for one.”

Rory grinned and barely resisted the urge to bounce on his feet, “I think that’s a brilliant idea!”

Paul beamed excitedly, “So I was thinking after we were done making the set, we could approach Jeremy about taking the adults out so that they could fire and glaze the sets they make and then take them home. How does that sound? Does that sound good?”

“That sounds perfect! I’m sure everyone’ll be excited to be able to take their sets home when they’re done making it.”

Paul was still beaming as he reached over for a bag at his feet. He unzipped it and pulled out a plate, a cup, a teacup and a saucer. They were slightly chipped at the edges and had a really pretty blue and white glazing around it.

“I made those when I was still in college,” Paul said proudly, “just thought the adults might want an example. Of course, I’m still going to physically make another one for them to see, but this is just so they know that it’s easy and it’s possible.”

“Wow, you were really good. Did you use a pottery machine for that, or your hands?” Rory asked curiously as he picked up the plate to examine it. The plate was far from perfect but for someone who did it in college, it was pretty good.

“Oh, I used my hands. It took ages to get it smooth like that but I think it was all part of the fun and besides, using a potter’s wheel is actually harder than it looks.”

“Really?” Rory asked with a frown, setting the plate carefully back down on the table, “I would have thought it would be easy.”

“Yeah, after a while of practice,” Paul teased, “maybe one day we can use pottery wheels, but for now, we’re going to deal with our hands. Now come and help me get the collapsible wooden desks, the adults are going to need it for today.”

Rory nodded and the both of them walked to the unoccupied room next door which held most of the stuff they didn’t use, it was like an impromptu storage area. They moved the tables to the adult’s studio and were done just as all the adults were finally present.

Rory beamed, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as Paul called their names and marked them on the register before snapping the file shut and grinning at everyone who had taken positions behind their wooden desks.

“Today, we’re starting pottery.”

A series of hoots and calls echoed around the room until Paul held his hand up to silence them. He motioned at the set he’d made in college, “I made those when I was sixteen and that is exactly what we’re going to recreate today. Pottery is simple in its act,” Paul was saying while Rory moved around the room, distributing healthy amounts of the red clay on each of the wooden desks on plastic sheets to keep them wet and from sticking to the table. When he was done, he then distributed plain white aprons around the room for them.

Paul briefly introduced them to clay making, getting his own hands dirty as he moulded his clay, showing them how to use water to soften the clay so that it was easier to mould. After about ten minutes of example demonstration, Paul told them to start with their own set and the adults immediately rushed to the bathroom to get their own cups of water.

They returned and it soon got quiet as they focused on making their set of dishes.

Rory frowned with concentration as he moulded his hands into his mound of clay. He was brimming with passion and excitement and he was once again internally glad that he and Paul had chosen to teach the adults crafts today.

The lesson proved to be good for the class because they felt more confident when they realized that passionate Rory, their beloved teacher wasn’t that great at crafts either. The assignment for them to make a set before the day was over made the adults excited and all around him they wore similar expressions of concentration as they moulded into their clays, several tools scattered around the collapsible wooden tables in front of them to help with embedding designs into the clay before it dried.

Rory had tried making his cup at first but God, it had been extremely frustrating. Some of the other adults found it easier while the others were struggling as bad as Rory was. Paul kept telling them it was alright to get frustrated and mad but that it took care and patience to come up with a good result, just like painting or drawing.

The studio was silent, only the occasional cough or shifting of chairs and falling of tools breaking the calm. The serene calm proved to be a good working environment which only added to the passion brimming in the room. It took a lot of Rory’s concentration and energy but he was enjoying it immensely and by the looks of the other adults in the class, they seemed to be enjoying it too.

He’d barely finished with his plate when it was already time for lunch.

Paul clapped his hands, grinning at everyone in the room after he’d gotten them to stop moulding, “I’m really happy with how far everyone has progressed this morning!” he said to them, “Remember to wrap your unfinished plates and clay in the plastic wraps to keep them wet so you can easily continue when you get back from lunch. See you all then.”

The adults immediately moved to pick up extra plastic wraps from the storage in the corner of the room and carefully wrapped their growing project in it before heading to the bathroom to wash their hands, all the while chattering noisily and excitedly about their projects.

Rory stared proudly at his plate. Well, it didn’t look like a plate yet, but it was getting there and despite all his frustration, he was sure it was going to come out just fine.

He removed his apron, hanging it over his chair and then moved to the bathroom to wash the clay off his hands. When he was done, his heart leapt into his throat when he spotted Jeremy.

He beamed, noticing that Jeremy was a bit preoccupied with a file in his hands while several men were moving up and down in front of him, getting one of the extra studios ready for Harry, the woman currently inside said room, telling where the men should drop her portfolios and works.

Rory could feel his cheeks heating and his stomach fluttering with butterflies as he approached Jeremy. He could feel his heart throbbing and pounding as all the warm feelings he felt for Jeremy swarmed up and threatened to choke him.

“Hi,” he said a little shyly, almost afraid that Jeremy could read his thoughts.

Jeremy turned around to look at him and smiled, “Hey,” he replied a little distractedly, leaning down to plant a quick kiss on Rory’s lips, “how’s it going?”

Rory bit his lower lip, “Paul and I finally introduced the art of pottery making today. I suck badly – almost as badly as I suck at video games – but I think I’m getting the hang of it.”

When Jeremy didn’t laugh or even glance at him, Rory frowned because he was sure that Jeremy hadn’t heard a single word of what he’d just said. The taller man was looking at the file in his hand, eyebrows furrowed and Rory just tapped his foot until Jeremy snapped out of it, glancing up at him guiltily.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, what were you saying?”

Rory beamed in understanding, nodding at the files and people moving about, “I take it you’re not going to make it for lunch.”

Jeremy blushed even harder, one hand rising to sift through his hair, expression sheepish, “Yeah, I’m terribly sorry about that. Harry really wants to get settled as soon as possible so I have to help organise and finish up setting up her studio.”

“I completely understand. This just means that you’re coming to mine for dinner after, no excuses,” Rory said softly, leaning up to kiss him again, savouring the feel of Jeremy’s soft lips against his for a few seconds, teasingly licking his lower lip before pulling away, “I’ll see you after work, deal?”

“Deal,” Jeremy grinned at him and Rory waved lightly, deciding that he would go to McDonalds.

The studio was already empty so he was sure Laura, Minnie and Paul were in the McDonalds as usual. He would have joined Simon in the little playground behind the children’s studio but he didn’t bring his signature tuna sandwich and he really was hungry.

As he made his way out of the studio, Rory couldn’t help but think that something was bothering Jeremy. All week, he’d been acting really distracted and jumpy and it was making him concerned. He’d questioned him about it of course, but Jeremy kept saying he was fine and Rory left it at that.

But now, he didn’t think he could leave it anymore. It really was bothering him, like a thorn stuck to his side. So he knew that Jeremy was currently having the busiest week Rory had ever seen him experience since he’d come to work for Walker Design Studios but Rory knew that wasn’t what was bothering his boyfriend. He decided that when Jeremy came over to his for dinner tonight, he would ask him about it.

Jeremy watched Rory go with a fond smile on his face. His hands tightened a little on the folder he was holding as a brief flash of the dream that had been haunting him all week replayed in his head; the sound of sirens, flashing lights, Rory’s face behind a breathing mask and a doctor telling him that Rory didn’t make it.

The dream was honestly scaring him shitless. Wasn’t it weird to have a recurring dream for an entire week?

“Boyfriend?”

Jeremy nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Harry’s voice beside him. He then realized that he had still been staring out the door upon Rory’s departure and felt his cheeks heat.

He hoped to God that Harry didn’t think it was unprofessional to date a co-worker as he replied, “yeah.”

“He was the one that came with you for the exhibition in March right?” she asked teasingly and Jeremy nodded.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“Glad to see you worked out that unresolved sexual tension.”

“P-Pardon?” Jeremy stuttered but Harry was already making her way back to her new studio, missing the way Jeremy’s cheeks burned red.

He shook his head lightly to get out of it, glancing back down at the file in his hands. He had a list of Harry Goldberg’s works and he ticked off each item as the men she’d hired brought them in to make sure everything was there an intact. If any of the pieces went missing then either the men or the people in her previous contract would be held responsible for it.

Jeremy found himself thinking about Rory’s cooking tonight and he could feel his mouth already watering, trying to imagine what Rory was going to cook. It was going to be the second time he was going to have dinner at Rory’s and he wondered if Andrew was going to be there, he wouldn’t really mind if the kid was there.

He sighed tiredly and rubbed the slight crease between his eyebrows, silently wishing for time to go by faster.

*

“I’ll be back at like three – latest four – so don’t wait up,” Andrew was saying as he tied the laces of his shoes in the sitting room.

“You’re sixteen! You shouldn’t even be clubbing,” Rory called back, “and you still never told me who got you a fake ID.”

“See you later mum,” Andrew drawled and Rory rolled his eyes.

“Do you have enough money?” Rory asked as he exited the kitchen, wiping his hands on a napkin.

Andrew brought out his wallet from the back of his jeans and counted the notes before nodding, “Enough for the cab, a couple drinks for me and a possibly beautiful lady at the bar and a cab back home,” Andrew said with a mock grin.

“Good, Jeremy’s coming over for dinner anyway so…yeah.”

Andrew scrunched his face up in mock disgust and got up from the couch, shoving his wallet back into his back pocket just as a horn sounded outside the house, “Just don’t be having sex by the time I get back –”

“–hey!” Rory cried in indignation but Andrew continued like he hadn’t interrupted.

“–and if by any chance you are having sex, try to keep it down?”

“Good God, can you leave already? I’m too tempted to wash that dirty mouth with bleach.”

Andrew chuckled and made his way to the door, opening it and then turning around to say, “I’ll text you if anything. Have fun and use a condom. Gay guys still use condoms, right?”

“Oh my God leave!” Rory growled, balling up the napkin in his hand and throwing it at the door just as Andrew shut it, his laughter muffled outside the house.

The napkin slid down to the floor and Rory sighed, walking over to pick it up. He glanced at the clock and it was just hitting seven. Jeremy was supposed to be here at eight so Rory had plenty of time to have a quick shower. He already had dinner on the stove and he was sure it would be ready by the time he was out of the shower.

He walked over to the kitchen to check on the food again, just to make sure it wouldn’t burn while he was in the shower before taking off his apron and hanging it behind the kitchen door, taking the steps two at a time as he made his way to his room.

He threw his clothes off, singing under his breath as he switched on the shower and got underneath the hot spray. A dreamy smile split his lips as he thought about Jeremy.

God, he loved him.

Ever since Rory had realized his feelings, he couldn’t help how giddy he felt, how his stomach kept filling with butterflies and his thoughts with Jeremy. He was so madly in love with him it was insane.

There were so many times during the week that Rory had nearly blurted just how he felt but it took sheer will power to keep the feelings to himself. Truth be told, he was scared. He didn’t want to say the words first just in case Jeremy didn’t feel as deeply as he did. He knew he’d already said it once but he blamed that on the sex and he knew Jeremy probably blamed it on the sex too or he might have mentioned something about it.

Unless Jeremy loved him too and was scared that Rory hadn’t been serious. He had been having the greatest orgasm of his life and Jeremy had taken his virginity, so what if Jeremy thought his exclamation had just been his orgasm talking?

Oh God, all these thoughts were going to give Rory a heart attack.

He quickly finished up with his shower, dressing up in a soft, worn pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt, his feet bare as he made his way downstairs to check on the food. The aroma was heavenly and he inhaled deeply, a smile making its way to his face as he checked the dishes.

He was making boiled potatoes with minced meat cooked in onions and gravy. It was a special delight his mother had taught him how to make and he thanked God it was Friday because he wanted Jeremy to stay over. He knew that Andrew wouldn’t mind and besides, he really really wanted to have sex with Jeremy again.

Just thinking about Jeremy inside him, full and thick, the way it had burned so good as he’d rocked hard and deep into him made Rory’s toes curl hard and him bite his lower lip with desire. God, he wanted that again so badly. He kept having fantasies of Jeremy sitting in his bed while Rory sat astride him and rode his cock and the thoughts always made him cringe and blush violently but he couldn’t help it.

He shook his head lightly to clear the thoughts and was just setting the table when he heard the familiar sound of Jeremy’s jeep.

As usual, he felt his heart begin to race and he checked the fridge, blushing at the sight of the red wine he’d decided to get as a last minute dessert. He wanted to take Jeremy’s mind off whatever was troubling him and then make love to him all night long.

He made his way to the door, making sure to take off the apron, opening it just as Jeremy was making his way out of his car.

“Hey baby,” Jeremy said huskily, the pet name not doing any good for Rory’s pounding heart as Jeremy leaned down to kiss him hard.

Rory moaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Jeremy’s neck and pressing his lips hard against his. When Jeremy’s lips began to trail over his jaw and down to the soft spot on his collar bone, Rory shuddered and whimpered, “Jeremy, we’re outside!”

Jeremy laughed against his neck and pulled away, wrapping one arm around Rory’s shoulders as they made their way into the house.

“Oh, that smells lovely,” Jeremy commented once they were in and the door was shut behind them, “I’m absolutely famished. Today was just dreadful.”

“This entire week was dreadful, trust me, I know,” Rory replied fondly, “thank God it’s Friday. Right now all I want to do is cuddle on the couch and watch The Simpsons until we fall asleep.”

“Are those our plans for tonight then?” Jeremy whispered and Rory shivered because Jeremy had sidled up to him. His hands were on Rory’s hips and he was breathing down Rory’s sensitive neck.

“Maybe,” Rory replied to his question, licking his lips, eyelids fluttering when Jeremy leaned down to kiss his neck before gently sucking on the skin.

“Food first and then we can talk about how to utilize this night,” Jeremy whispered, giving his neck another soft kiss before making his way to one of the seats on the dining table.

Rory sat opposite him and they served themselves.

“So you were telling me something today and I was being a distracted arse,” Jeremy said with a questioning raise of his eyebrow.

“Oh, right,” Rory said, quickly chewing over the potato he’d put in his mouth and swallowing before saying, “Paul and I introduced the adults to crafts today,” he said excitedly, “it went on great which reminds me, I – representing Paul and myself – want to let you know that we’re going to take the adults out tomorrow to fire up the individual table sets they got made today. You should see them, Jeremy; they’re absolutely stunning for first timers and I’m immensely proud.”

“I can tell,” Jeremy said with a soft smile, basking in the way Rory was practically glowing.

“Oh and I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s been bothering you all week?” Rory asked with concern.

Jeremy frowned and tried to shove the memory of the recurring dream he’d been having to the back of his mind.

“Nothing’s been bothering me,” he said, waving his fork dismissively, “it’s just been a busy week, that’s all.”

Rory raised a slender eyebrow, “who do you think you’re fooling, Mister?”

Jeremy couldn’t help laughing, “No, seriously, nothing’s bothering me, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know,” Jeremy replied softly.

Rory felt those warm feelings of love rise up and warm him all the way inside. He licked his lips and focused on his food with extra vigour, finishing in record time. They both put their dishes in the sink when they were done eating and Jeremy couldn’t help moving behind Rory, cupping his hips and pressing up against him while he turned on the tap in preparation to wash the dishes.

“That was amazing, as usual,” he teased huskily, “you’re such an amazing cook.”

Rory rolled his eyes, shivering at the touch of Jeremy’s breath against his neck, “you’ve said that a billion times already but thank you.”

Jeremy grinned and then spun Rory around before he could start cleaning up the dishes in the sink, joining their hands together and tangling their fingers.

He kissed the corner of Rory’s mouth, pulling back to look at him with a teasing smile on his face while Rory felt like his heart was about to pound out of his chest. Jeremy smiled again and leaned down to kiss him again, slow and deep, their tongues tangling headily while Rory’s toes proceeded to curl against the tiled floor.

“Come on, leave those dishes and let’s go watch The Simpsons,” Jeremy whispered softly against his lips.

 “Yeah?” Rory managed to ask, his voice coming out thick. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His heart was pounding and he suddenly felt light-headed.

“As much as I’d love to help you with the dishes like we’re some sort of old married couple, I really liked the idea of us cuddling on the couch and falling asleep to The Simpsons more.”

For a long horrible second, time seemed to stand still and then Rory suddenly blurted passionately, “I love you.”  

Jeremy froze and Rory wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. He just stared, wide eyed at Jeremy as Jeremy pulled away to stare at him with shock.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

The first feeling that swamped him was panic that he’d just said those words and then anticipation – would Jeremy say them back? – and then confusion and hurt when Jeremy only stared at him and when had Jeremy even taken some steps away from him?

He quickly spun around to face the sink, feeling tears smart behind his eyelids as he thought, great, he’d messed it up with his stupid big mouth. God, couldn’t he shut up for two seconds? Why did he have to go and say those words? Now of all times?

On the other hand, Jeremy felt like he was suffocating.

I love you. The words were ringing over and over again in his head and what he wanted to do right now was get the fuck away from Rory. But he could see the way Rory’s hands were trembling when he reached for the tap he’d left open to close it and he knew he couldn’t just leave.

Say something! He hissed at himself.

“You wanted to know what was troubling me, right?” was the first thing that came to his head and he mentally face-palmed himself.

“Yeah?” Rory replied but didn’t turn around to face him.

Jeremy swallowed, still scared but desperate to salvage the situation, “So, it’s kind of stupid and irrelevant but it’s because of this really terrifying recurring dream I’ve been having.”

At the mention of the word ‘dream’, Rory froze and then spun around, completely forgetting the awkward situation of a few seconds ago, “dream?”

Jeremy shrugged, unable to meet his eyes, “It’s pretty weird. All week, I keep dreaming of you in a hospital and…well, the doctor…”

Oh God, this is not happening, Rory thought with panic while Jeremy tried to piece his words together.

“Can you tell me what happened in the dream explicitly?” Rory asked urgently.

Jeremy shrugged, “There’s not much to tell.” He suddenly didn’t want to tell Rory the dream, remembering the engagement ring he’d had in the dream. He didn’t want to give Rory any ideas, the bleached blonde’s earlier heartfelt confession still ringing in his head.

“Let me guess,” Rory said, suddenly feeling faint, “You had a ring. I got sick and you took me to the hospital but…I didn’t make it.”

Jeremy stared up at him with wide eyes, “how on earth do you know that? Don’t tell me you’ve been having the same dream too because that will just be fucking creepy.”

Rory didn’t know if he should tell Jeremy about his own dreams. He’d already gotten rid of the karma and buried the past, learning from it and he really didn’t want to bring it up again but what if this was a different thing for Jeremy, what if Jeremy had a different lesson to learn from it? And besides, he really wanted to distract Jeremy from his passionate confession a few minutes ago.

So he swallowed and decided to tell Jeremy his own story from beginning to end.

“Wait here,” he said and then he walked up to his room. He opened his wardrobe and brought out one of his smallest suitcases, opening it to reveal a worn, black sketchbook. He hugged it to his chest before heading back downstairs and giving the sketchbook to Jeremy.

When Jeremy opened it, he couldn’t help the way his chest ached at the sight of the sketches of him.

Rory’s throat was clogged as he whispered, “Look at the dates, Jeremy.”

Jeremy frowned and glanced down at the dates the pictures were drawn, written in Rory’s beautiful yet messy scrawl underneath his signature.

Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed even further in confusion, “these are dated years ago but how’s that even possible?” He flipped through the pages, the dates and pictures changing and developing over the years.

Rory inhaled deeply and clenched his hands into fists for confidence. He’d burned every other painting of dream-Jeremy that he’d done but for some reason, he hadn’t been able to let that ratty old sketchbook go and he was grateful because now it would help with his explanation.

When he was done, Jeremy just stared at him like he had grown two heads and Rory could feel the hurt building in his chest. He knew it was far-fetched but he had to do it.

“So, you’re telling me you’ve been dreaming of us in a different life, right?”

Rory nodded, staring at the floor and feeling stupid.

“And you realized that the only way for the dreams to stop was if you let go of your past guilt.”

Rory nodded again.

“How long?”

Rory swallowed. He’d omitted that bit. He shifted awkwardly on his feet, “I’ve been dreaming of – seeing your face since before I met you – way long before I met you, like since I was a teenager,” he admitted but rushed to add, “but the dreams didn’t start full-on until we started dating.”

Jeremy didn’t know how to process the information Rory had just given him.

“You’ve been dreaming of me since before you met me, do you realize how completely bonkers that sounds?”

Rory flinched a little, “Yes, I know but I’ve let go and it doesn’t matter –”

“Is that why you’re with me right now? Some stupid dreams and bullshit like reincarnation?”

Rory flinched again, staring at Jeremy with wide eyes, his chest hurting, “w-what? Of course not! Jeremy please calm down let’s talk about this –”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Jeremy said almost hysterically, waving his hands in the air, “I mean, this is some fantasy bullshit. Do you really expect me to believe that you’re dating me now because you want to? That the dreams and reincarnation and fulfilling some past destiny had nothing to do with it?”

“Okay, right now you’re just overreacting,” Rory said brokenly, his shoulders drooping, “you’re the one making this sound more ridiculous when it actually wasn’t but right now, it isn’t important, okay?” he said a little desperately, “just forget about it.”

Jeremy glanced back down at the sketchbook, staring at the dates and the sketches like it was the devil’s incarnate. The sketches were obviously proof that Rory wasn’t lying but he couldn’t believe it.

“Jeremy?” Rory asked tentatively, his voice soft and pleading.

Jeremy just shook his head rapidly, suddenly dropping the sketchbook on the dining table like it had burned his skin. He couldn’t even look at Rory as he whispered, “I can’t.”

Rory nodded, ignoring the flare of pain in his chest, wringing his hands, “Right. Just. Yeah.”

“I need to think…to think about this. I’ll…goodnight,” Jeremy mumbled and then he was suddenly leaving the house as fast as his legs could carry him.

The sound of the door slamming made Rory jump and he clenched his fists, staring at the wall.

It was all his stupid fault. If he hadn’t said those three damning words, none of this would have happened.

It didn’t matter how far Jeremy drove, he felt like he couldn’t escape Rory’s soft confession of love or his tales about dreaming and reincarnation. The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he’d been played. Was Rory’s meeting him all a coy plan to fulfil his trouble of letting go? Was their entire relationship a fluke?

Why does the basis of your meeting really matter? Isn’t what you have now all that matters?

Jeremy shoved those words to the back of his mind, stubbornly clinging to his reasoning. Would Rory still be with him if he hadn’t been having those dreams of reincarnation and shit?

Why does this have to change anything?

“It changes everything, goddammit!” he growled, slamming his fist into the steering wheel. 

He drove around aimlessly for a while before heading to his house. The minute he got there, he took a quick shower and then finished an entire bottle of wine before falling asleep on the couch but even the wine couldn’t keep away the haunting dreams that plagued him all night long.