TW: some mentions of self harm and depression, please move forward with caution when viewing this chapter

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Some people are connected.

Aren't they?

When you meet them, it's as though something clicks. Something inside that tells you some unimaginable being has brought you together. A hidden string tying you to the other, drawing you slowly across the universe just to meet each other.

And once you're connected...

Do you ever really let go of them?

Groaning, Taeyhung turns over in his bed for the thousandth time.

Why is this so hard?

Letting out an exasperated sigh, he lies on his back, sheets and comforter scattered, as he stares up at the ceiling. Glaring up at it with his eyebrows furrowed tightly together, he purses his lip into a pout, his jaw set defiantly.

"This is your fault." He mutters underneath his breath, before running his hand absentmindedly through the tangled locks of his hair. "I don't know how...but all of this is your fault."

When the ceiling doesn't answer him, he gives it a look before rolling out of bed, not really caring if he brings the covers along with him. As they fall from the tangles around his body, and rest safely on the floor, he catches the reflection of his eyes in the full-length mirror he keeps expertly held on the sliding door which hides his clothes closet. Biting his lip, he hesitates a bit before heading over to the mirror and taking his reflection in.

He's grown a bit taller...perhaps half an inch. Don't worry Namjoon hyung, one day I'll be as tall as you. Though he smirks a bit at the thought, it quickly vanishes as his gaze travels to more points in his reflection. His dark glazed eyes, his mess of curls resting on his head, his slightly pale lips. Almost despondent, he pulls aside the already halfway buttoned down shirt and presses his fingers against his stomach. He smiles back to when all that was there was a soft belly. When he didn't care as much.

When did he start caring?

Was it when he saw everything that ARMYs felt about him? When he realized just how double sided they could be? Was it when he realized that they really did care what he showed them? That if he showed them who he really was...

They would just walk away?

He knows he probably shouldn't have read those comments, that he shouldn't have seen what some people have said...but did they forget that he could see everything they said?

Did they forget how much he gave...how much he sacrificed for them?

And when he shows them all of him...

The good and the bad...

Kim Taehyung seems a bit rude...

He doesn't care at all about BTS.

You think he needs them? If he were given a chance he would just leave.

Kim Taehyung is too moody. He's happy one moment but sad the next.

Don't you think fame has changed him? He seems so cocky.

What's wrong with Kim Taehyung lately? Doesn't he seem depressed?

Honestly, if I had to put my money on it, he'd be the first one to leave.

He's so untalented.

BTS is filled with a group of 6 very talented, beautiful, and handsome young men. And then there's the roach called Kim Taehyung.

Why doesn't Kim Taehyung just leave? If you're really bored with everything by now, why don't you just leave?

Do us a favor and stop pretending.

Just leave.

Taehyung winces at the overwhelming amount of bad memories slamming into his inner consciousness. He tries to forget them, but every time he looks in the mirror, he can see them reflected back at him. As though they were burned deep into his skin. As though the sign of hard muscle beneath his fingertips is a scar he can't escape.

The only thing he can remember, the only thing he can think about when he sees himself, is what they have molded him into.

The beautiful, the perfect sculpture which they call V.

Defiantly, flames burning in his eyes, he meets his gaze in the mirror. Anger and hurt mixing together into one painful chaos inside his chest, his gaze darkens before he swings back his fist and rams it deep into the mirror. As the glass shatters and sharp, iridescent pieces dig maliciously into his skin, he breathes heavily and glares up at his broken reflection. Into the dull dim hue of his hazelnut haze.

Eyes which have changed from bright beautiful saucers that could only see the sky...

To a gap of emptiness which cannot be filled.

Reflecting the cold abyss he feels in his own heart.

As thick blood begins to numbingly ooze from the cuts in his skin, he hardly flinches. The iron taste playing sinisterly on his lips, he can't help but relish in the pain. Is this what he deserves? Is this what they want now that he's not who he was before? Now that he's grown, changed even the slightest bit? He almost wants to push his fist deeper into the glass, deepen the pain, all to distract him from the roar in his ears.

The constant screaming inside his mind.

He did everything they wanted him to do. He smiled for them, hid the inner part of him screaming, brushed away any hateful comments, any people who hurt him, and laughed through all the pain. He became a bigger person and grew.

He did it all for them.

He did it all for the sake of BTS.

Because he loved ARMY. Because he loved his hyungs.

Because this was his dream.

He became the man they all wanted.

He became V.

So why?

Why is it the moment he starts to let go of the mask, the moment he starts to become himself in front of their eyes...

Why do they turn against him as though he had never existed in the first place?

As though they didn't beg him to hide.

As though all his efforts...

Meant nothing after all.

The worst part of it all...

Was that he let go for them.

Because he wasn't willing to say goodbye.

The soft ring of his alarm breaks him out of his thoughts and his hand falls to his side as he turns to the sound. Sighing, he runs his hand through his tangled mess of hair picking up a tissue on the way to his dresser, and wiping off the thin trails of blood the cuts brought forth. In the back of his mind, he scoffs at the fact that that's the third mirror he's broken this week. Perhaps he needs a break. Looking up at the ceiling, he takes a deep breath.

A break from myself.

Picking up the phone he quickly dismisses the alarm, and finds himself staring at the lock screen in dismay.

To this day, Taehyung still uses the Galaxy BTS phone made especially for them and ARMY. Jimin absolutely loved the thing, and Taehyung treasures it with a quiet wonder. When he finally moved everything from his old phone to this one, he used it daily, even if it wasn't always in front of the cameras. Back then when they had to leave for a while, looking at it gave him strength to go on. To head back to them. To see ARMY again.

Looking at it now, he wonders if it's actually real.

If the love ARMY gives them...

Isn't all just a lie.

When the phone buzzes suddenly, Taehyung lets out a small yelp, fumbling as his phone flies halfway in the air. Luckily, he's able to catch it before it falls. Letting out a small breath of relief, he checks the random message that has popped up on his lock screen, peering to see who it belongs to.

Eyes widening, he nearly drops his phone again.

Stumbling to catch it, he falls on top of his pile of sheets and blankets, but thankfully the phone falls in his outstretched hands securely.

It's you.

Why is it always you?

Shocked, he slowly unlocks the phone, opening your little message. As it pulls up on his screen, he softly smiles.

Good morning, Mr. Pan.

It's such a simple message. Such short, sweet words said out of consideration and kindness. You sent it as a second thought, somehow knowing that he might need a smile after the amount of trouble he must have gotten in yesterday. He doesn't know this. All he knows is that a mere mention from you has made everything all right again.

It clears his mind, allows him to focus, saves him from the darkness continuing to choke him in its hold.

He picks up his phone and presses a button, before holding it up to his ear. It rings into the dead silence for a couple of seconds, making Taehyung a bit nervous. For a moment, he doesn't know if you're going to pick up, but once he hears the familiar click and the steady sound of your breathing, he can feel a rush of relief spreading through his body and leaving nothing but happiness.

"Hello?" You nearly whisper, a bit in shock. He can hear it over the phone and, sitting up, he doesn't notice as the gorgeous smile grows.

It's funny how he didn't realize until he heard your voice, that his head and his mind was filled with thoughts of you.

On the other line, you smile softly, finding the same truth.

Was it only yesterday that your dream came true?

He finally did it. He spoke to you.

Things should be over right?

But you find yourselves wanting...

More.

"Good morning." He teases in response to your recent message and you have to refrain yourself from groaning in embarrassment. "Did you sleep well?"

Hearing his innocent voice and the deep lure to it so early in the morning makes you wonder if you're dreaming. Smiling on the other line, you cup your hands around your phone, pulling it close to your cheek and smile, unable to stop the happy pink hue from creeping onto your rosy cheeks.

"Yes." You reply, a bit of excitement creeping into your voice from the giddy fact that you're talking to him. "I slept like a baby...what about you?"

You decide to keep from him the fact that you hardly slept last night. Your constant nightmares and terrors of panic scared you. They made you afraid, thinking that if you closed your eyes, you would once more be lost in a deep sleep. Trapped in the hidden corners of your mind.

He smiles on the other line a bit sadly, deciding to keep the fact that he didn't sleep half the night to himself, lost in the whirlpool of hateful comments and slurs towards him. Towards BTS. He decides to hide the truth that the only thing that was able to let him sleep that night was the sight of your phone number held tightly within his hands.

"Yeah...yeah I slept alright." He says, unable to mask the catch in his voice. Your eyes widening in concern, you open your mouth to ask if he's alright, but he quickly clears his throat and changes the topic.

"How's your ankle?" Even though you know he asked the question to change the subject, you can't help but wince.

Your ankle hasn't shown much improvement.

The swelling has gone down and you're able to stand on it, but every time you try to walk, numb pain still courses up your veins. It's still pretty bruised, but what is there that you can do? You've already slipped on an ice pack, wrapping it carefully around your ankle to prepare you for the day, but you know it's going to be quite the uncomfortable ride.

You hesitate, pondering whether or not to tell him this, but he continues on the other line.

"Yen?" The way he whispers your name makes you melt inside. So concerned and full of worry, you wonder if you truly deserve this small blessing. The blessing to know someone like him. "Are you okay? Does it still hurt?"

The blessing to be able to speak to him.

Smiling, you shake your head before responding, slightly struck speechless.

"Yes, I'm fine...your ice pack yesterday really helped so I'm all ready to head to work today. Don't worry, I'm fully prepared with an ice pack of my own in case the bruise starts to bother me..." You start rambling, trying to reassure him that everything will be fine, while on the other line, his eyes go wide with protective anger.

You're doing it again.

Forcing yourself to continue, when you should be looking to take care of yourself.

Not the other way around.

"No." He says interrupting your slight tangent, and you flinch, pausing and your grip clenching tightly around the phone. You knew this would happen. You knew that he would be upset. That's why you shouldn't have said anything. Somehow, this frustrates you. You know it shouldn't, after all he's just looking after you, but you can take care of yourself. You aren't some damsel in distress that needs saving.

Trying hard to forget what you'd rather not remember, you sigh, massaging your temple.

"Taehyung, I'm fine. I really am--"

"I don't believe you. And even if you were telling the truth, you should at least rest it for a day at least! Do you want to worsen it because you decided to push yourself?" Shocked at his sincere and concerned tone, you really don't know what to say. You know he's right, but you can't help but feel that if you listen to him, if you rest easy for just today, you'll be letting someone down.

Namjoon is waiting for you.

He doesn't know that your ankle is bruised, nor that you could sprain or quite possibly break it if you try to come into work today. But you've already been late once before. Today was supposed to be your first official day on the job. He was counting on you to be there.

Hoping that he'd be able to rely on you.

You can't help but feel that if you decide to stay...that you'd be letting him down.

You don't want to let him down.

You can't let him down.

Glancing down at your ankle, you grimace a bit as you bitterly smile.

This is just a minor bump in the road isn't it? All you're doing is offering a small sacrifice so that you can be there for him. So that you can carry out your job, your obligation as his manager. He should know that you will always be there to help. Isn't that what a manager should do? You have a duty, an obligation...a simple bruise shouldn't get in the way of that. After all the ways you let him down yesterday, and the kind way he treated you in spite of that...isn't that the least you can do? You can afford to give something in return...after all he's given you already.

Yes...this is nothing...

Taehyung wouldn't understand...

Right?

Taking a deep breath, you respond to him.

"Taehyung, I really appreciate your concern but..."

"If you say you're fine I am going to come to your apartment and force you back into your bed." He replies so steadily and sternly that it's hard for you to conceal your burst of laughter. He hears, however and grows a tiny bit offended, not willing to admit that the sound of your laughter brought a little bit more light into his clouded mind.

"You think I'm joking?!" He shouts on the other line, and you can't keep it back anymore, your laughter spilling over and melodiously carrying itself through the line and into Taehyung's small, scattered room. He smiles at the fact that he was able to make you laugh, although it wasn't his intention. That just like that...you were able to make everything seem alright again. It's almost as though a mere smile from you, a simple laugh escaping from your lips...

Makes the world a little bit brighter to him.

"I-I'm sorry...!" You manage to gasp out between your small fits of giggles. "It's just the thought of you walking over here all angry and trying to force me back in bed..." You break off at the end, your sweet melodic laugh ringing high in the air once more, and he can't help but crack a smile, eventually laughing along with you. After a moment, once the laughter subsides, each of you glance toward the phone as though that would help you see the other's face, or at least imagine it as though you were standing right next to each other.

Taehyung smiles a bit before glancing away and closing his eyes in serenity.

"Yen?" he murmurs softly, his eyes opening a fraction of an inch as he stares into the distance, almost imagining your smiling face right in front of him. At the sound of him saying your name once more, your eyes flash towards the phone, a bit surprised. It takes you a moment, but you eventually answer, a small smile growing on your lips.

"Yes?" you respond, your hands once more finding themselves cupping around the phone almost as if you held onto it a little bit tighter he would magically stay with you just a little bit longer. Offer you this comfort for just a bit more.

Is that too much to ask?

You know it is and yet you can't help yourself from wishing for it.

Wishing that you had...more.

"I want you to know that I'm saying this with the best interests for you in mind." He answers, and your brow crinkles a bit, wondering what he's going to do this time. Taking a deep breath, he ponders whether or not to say the words, but he decides to do it anyway. Your safety is the most important after all.

"Don't come to work today. Please stay home, and take care of yourself. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Startled, you open your mouth to answer, to refuse the kind request, to let him know that you're going to head to work anyway, but he's already hung up the phone, leaving you dumbfounded. Your heart pacing a million miles per hour, his last few words lingering in your mind.

I don't want to see you get hurt.

"Who gave you the right?" you murmur softly, your hands rising furiously to hide the growing hot blush against your cheeks against your will. The hot tears that begin to push against your eyes, threatening to escape out of the cage you have held them in for so long.

"Who told you to care so much about me?"

Taehyung, after hanging up the phone, has completely forgotten about everything else but you. He smiles a bit sheepishly at the cheesy things he's said and stares at the empty screen where your profile pic rests, safe in his contacts. He can't help but wonder how you do it.

How with a few simple words...

You make everything okay again.

Turning to his closet, he starts to pull out a couple of clothes to wear that day, as he dials a number on his phone. Once it starts to ring, he places it on his dresser, putting it on speaker phone so he can hear the clear annoyed voice that answers, no doubt being distracted from an important source of work.

"What is it, Taehyung?" he snaps, tired and worn-out, and Tae smiles at the familiar greeting, as he pulls off his shirt, avoiding the cracked mirror beside him.

"Nice to talk to you too, Namjoonie. How's the album coming?" He responds playfully, and Namjoon on the other line can't help but smile. He adores that nickname, and it definitely puts him in a better mood. Just like Taehyung knew it would. Turning back to the screen of the computer, Namjoon can't help but sigh. There's a whole lot of work to be made with the album...and such little time to do it in.

"Well...it'd go a lot faster without interruptions like this. What is it Taehyung-ah? This better not be a prank call or something for a Vlive..." Namjoon begins, his tone warning and Tae can't help but laugh. He shakes his head, pulling down his pajama pants, and deciding to replace them with plain blue jeans. They don't really have dance practice planned today, just a bunch of meetings and preparations for the album...maybe even a photo shoot.

"You know I try to stay away from Vlive's nowadays." Tae replies, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but failing miserably. At the comment, Namjoon can't help but feel a stab of pity and regret. He knows that it's a sensitive topic for Tae now...especially with what happened the last time Taehyung held a Vlive....he shouldn't have mentioned it so soon.

"No it's not...Namjoon it's about Yen." Tae explains, and at the mention of your name, Namjoon sits straight in his chair, work forgotten, and mind focusing on you.

"What? Is she okay? Did something happen? Is she--" Voice heavily decorated with worry, Tae has to bite back the laugh that threatens to be released. Is this how he sounded to you? No wonder you started laughing at him. Smiling softly at how open and kind Namjoons heart is, Tae shakes his head once more, pulling on a grey hoodie.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about that." Tae replies, as he pulls on his socks, and rummages for his jean jacket. Namjoon waits a bit impatiently on the other line, trying his best to be polite and wait for Taehyung to finish. Once he finds it, Tae lets out a small cry of victory before looping his arms through it and finishing his look. Picking up the phone as he grabs a plain white mask and heads for the door, Taehyung smiles slightly at his victory.

Try to refuse staying home after this, my Wendy.

Just as RM opens his mouth to demand a straight answer from him, Taehyung replies, leaving behind the mess he had made just moments before untouched and forgotten.

"Namjoon...could you do a favor for me?"

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I'M BACK DISHES

yes, we are still members of a Christian household.

Did you guys miss me?

Please say you missed me or I'll cry ;-;

I'm just kidding, you probably forgot about me it's been that long.

BUT ANYWAYS

Infinite Stars is back! I hope you're all looking forward to the story, and what is going on with our main characterS. 

You can expect appearances from the rest of the BTS members and more interactions.

Plus, I'm sure you're all just DYING to know what BangPD has in store for Yen.

So I hope you're excited for the weekly updates as much as I am!

Anyways, since we're back and all here is a question for you.

Who is your favorite ship so far in the story?

and a BIG welcome to all the new Corn-Cobs and all the new readers! Hope you enjoy!

Another thank you should go out to all the beta readers who helped make these updates possible!

peachyygguks

eclipxeukkae

Zimbraboy

Thank you for your help and dedication towards this book I'll be forever thankful.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope it was enjoyable!

I love you and PURPLE you!

<3

(>w<)