Tam Martin studied Goldie Finch's fourteen karat lips as they opened and closed, spread and parted. Her shiny lipstick was the signature piece of Goldie's soon-to-be announced endorsement with Wanton Cosmetics.

"It's my name and my look, so why not? The company's willing to give me total control. Like, if I say I want twenty variations of metallic lipstick and eighteen of them should be gold, they'll do it. They'd have to revamp completely if they went with another influencer. We're still negotiating, though," Goldie told her. Tam hadn't asked for this explanation. All she cared about was that to secure her endorsement, she needed to hire Tam, and Tam needed to be hired.

"I'm a creator, not a details person. That's why I have Paul. For the legal stuff." Paul, Tam remembered from Goldie's videos, or EpiGolds, as she called them, was both her manager and stepfather. He lived with Goldie's mom in the apartment next to hers.

"And now I have you, because I already know you're going to take this job."

"Seriously?" Tam cleared her throat. "Yes, obviously yes. Holy shit!"

Goldie formed her lips into an upside-down shimmering arch. "You're exactly what my assistant should be."

"What's that?"

"Pretty, but not flashy. Resourceful." She coiled a strand of Tam's hair around her finger. "Desperate, but good at hiding it. Maybe something else. We'll see."

Tam blinked. "I'm not..."

"Desperate?" She let go of Tam's hair. "Course not. Everyone in LA is, except for you. You—you're special."

Tam was special. An Afterschool Special. A cautionary tale. She was desperate and hid it well, only she couldn't hide it from Goldie. "When do I start?"

"As soon as you walked in the room. So... twenty minutes ago?" She extended her hand and pulled Tam up from the couch. "Come meet my stepbrother. You'll be working with him."

#

Despite the show Goldie made about how much she needed Tam to secure her cosmetics deal, contract negotiations were nearing completion by the time Tam came on board. Not that she lacked for work. Aside from networking with Wanton Cosmetics representatives, there were schedules to keep, endless coffee runs, EpiGolds to help produce. Goldie's stepbrother, Jasper, did most of the editing, with Goldie getting final approval. On Tam's first day of work, her new boss had a lunch date. She deposited Tam in a spare bedroom, which she referred to as her production center. There, Jasper sat staring at a panel of screens.

"Meet my new assistant, Tam. Teach her everything you know."

She left, shutting Tam in the room with Jasper, who spun around to scrutinize her as though she was a line of code. "I read your application. Not surprised Goldie picked you."

"I have degrees in communications and marketing."

"And an internship with Colby Barnes in New York last June."

"That's right."

"You think that's why Goldie hired you? Because of an impressive resume?"

Desperate, but good at hiding it. "Yes."

He stood up, stepped in her direction. Jasper appeared occasionally in Goldie's videos, which helped Tam prepare for what she assumed would be an onslaught of sarcastic wit. She hadn't realized, however, how tall he'd be. Or how he'd smell like the forest her father had taken her to as a child. This unexpected sensuality juxtaposed with the sterility of the room made her sway.

"Goldie might come off as shallow," he said, "but she's not stupid."

"I never thought she was stupid."

"Your application says otherwise."

Tam inched back until she bumped into a table. Nowhere left to go. "I'll do a fantastic job."

"You'll do the job Goldie needs you to do. Just don't be surprised if it's not the one you assumed it would be."

He reached forward and she imagined him grabbing her around the waist, pulling her against him. Cheeks heated; breath stilled. He brushed past, retrieving a water bottle from the table.

"Everyone has their reasons to lie, Tam Martin."

"I haven't lied."

"No? Then tell me how Colby could be in New York last June for your internship while simultaneously sailing on a yacht in the Grecian islands." He fiddled with the lid on his bottle. "Jesus, all you had to do was check his social media posts and you'd have known to pick a different month."

Tam's stomach clenched. Fuck. Day one and she was already fired. "Are you going to tell your sister about this?"

"Stepsister. Look, Goldie's smart. People have their reasons for lying. And Goldie has her reasons for hiring liars."

"You have to understand, this job is a way for me to move forward, and—"

"I don't have to understand," he interrupted. "If you're asking for redemption, find a priest. We only spiral downwards here."

"What the hell does that mean?"

He took a sip of water and opened the door. "Goldie asked that I teach you everything I know. That last bit about sums it up."

"Wait!" She grabbed his shoulder as he crossed over the room's threshold. "Is this how it's going to be? Goldie said we'd be working together."

His muscles tensed. "Not for long."

#

Three weeks in and Jasper's open dislike for Tam continued. They did work together in the technical sense that they often coexisted in the same space. Even Goldie's expansive apartment, where she shot and produced many of her EpiGolds, still had a finite number of rooms.

He spoke to her only when he seemed in the mood to chastise. If she caught him gazing in her direction, he turned away with the furrowed brow of a perpetual brooder.

Even though her blood pressure spiked in his presence, she refused to let him interfere with her work. And unlike Jasper, Goldie, seemed to have moved beyond the few white lies on Tam's resume.

"You guys, I have someone I want you to meet. I absolutely adore her. Tam, come here, babe!"

Mouthing no, Tam shook her head. Back from a coffee run, she hadn't realized Goldie would be live streaming. First time in almost two weeks—her subscribers must be wetting themselves.

"Tam is so shy, she doesn't want you to see her, but she's my assistant, so she has no choice." Goldie bounded up next to her, phone posed to capture them both in its frame. "Say hi to my Goldie Girls and Guys, babe."

"Um, hi?" Two syllables and her voice managed to break.

Goldie leaned her long neck so that her head rested on top of Tam's. "Isn't she the cutest? Okay, serious talk here. Tam is helping me get my cosmetics line, Lucre, ready. You wouldn't believe how much work goes into it. I'm so excited to share it with you for the official preview in a few weeks. Aren't you excited too, Tam?"

"Oh... yeah, definitely. Goldie, you look amazing when you wear it."

"Aww!" She squeezed Tam around the shoulders with the hand not attached to her phone. "You're so sweet! Oh, my dog walker—you all remember Ellie—just returned with Bailey Boo. Time for everyone to see the little booties I bought for him."

Goldie wandered off towards her Bichon Frise, taking tens of thousands of viewers with. Tam used the opportunity to escape into the production center before Goldie could circle back to her.

Jasper sat in his customary seat, feet up, watching Goldie's live stream. "Aren't you a star?" He didn't sound happy about it. "You got tons of hearts from viewers."

"I did?"

"Yup. Even with barely being able to string words together. Not as many as Bailey Boo's getting though."

"How could I ever compete with a dog."

"It's best not to try. Bailey Boo has more followers than I do on three different platforms. Goldie's fans would throw themselves in front of a truck for him."

So many words. Almost a proper conversation.

"They like me, at least. It's a start. And Goldie likes me," she said. "Maybe I'm not the complete failure you imagined I'd be."

The scowl returned. "Fuck, Tam, you don't get it at all."

He stood, circled around her, and left. Ten seconds later, he appeared on Goldie's phone holding Bailey Boo. Smiling, carefree. "Show Bailey Boo and me some love, everyone!"

The hearts poured in.

#

"Look what I got for you!" The bit of black and shimmery gold material that Goldie dropped onto Tam's lap appeared as if a spider had gotten high before weaving the material. She held it up to attempt making sense of it. It came apart into two stretchy pieces.

"Is this a bathing suit?"

"What else would it be?" Goldie plopped herself down on the couch next to Tam, at work on her laptop updating her boss's Absolute Stans page. Today, Goldie planned on showing them her linen closet. So far, twelve hundred fans had signed onto the page to get an exclusive view of folded towels.

Tam frowned. "I'm more of a one-piece sports swimsuit kind of girl."

"Not if you want to impress everyone on the next EpiGold."

Tam set the suit down. "There's no one to impress, though, right? Because you told me I needed to stay primarily behind the scenes, remember?"

"The word primarily is open to interpretation." Goldie lay her head on Tam's shoulder. "That's what I love about you. You stay out of the spotlight so it can shine on me. But you earned a little bit of light, Tamara. You've accomplished so much since you started working for me!"

Tam bit the inside of her cheek to keep from cringing. Only her mother called her Tamara. "I've only been here five days."

"See?" She leaned away from Tam. "Less than a week and you're ready to shine. For one twenty-minute slot at least. Then it's back to the kitchens with you." She patted the top of Tam's head and hopped off the couch, heading towards the production room.

"What does that means, Goldie?" 

Tam eyed the bikini, already blaming it for all the bad that would be coming her way. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Relax! My driver will pick you up tomorrow morning at eight. Pack a bag, and do not forget that suit. It's key to everything!"

Key to everything. To happiness, world peace, universal vaccinations, exploration of faraway planets, or to whatever agenda Goldie had devised for her. A few days at this job and Tam considered it a choice between walking away or going all in. Goldie might believe she needed the spotlight, but Goldie was the sun itself, and Tam was about to step out of the shade. She made a mental note to pack sunscreen.

A day earlier, Tam set up the reservation for four nights at Morinda, an exclusive private island resort in the Maldives. She needed a break from LA, Goldie told her, following that declaration with a drawn-out sigh to emphasize her exhaustion. A friend had mentioned Morinda to her at a dinner party. The resort promised to be trendy and on brand for Goldie. A web search later, Tam had booked a private four-bedroom villa that came with its own staff. Her stomach twisted when she noticed the projected expense, but Goldie shrugged off Tam's concern.

"Someday we'll be spending three times that amount per night. Today it's Morinda, and yeah, it's a private island and I'm so lucky to be able to go there with people suffering as much as they do. But the entire island has, like fifty villas. After Lucre launches, Morinda is going to feel like a Motel 6."

Tam, who had once lived in a Motel 6, didn't know how to respond. "You get your own butler at Morinda."

"Oh, sure. A butler is a great privilege. It's important to understand that—really keep things in perspective. Like when they say, 'check your privilege." I'm always doing that. You have your own chef at Morinda too, but at Hyacinth Dream, it's a whole new level. You get a staff of twenty! It's the full experience, Tamara. Imagine, your very own masseuse and yoga instructor. Even Bailey Boo would get his very own designated pet professional. Like a dog walker that's also their maid! Plus, no one else has access to your estate. They guarantee it. Total privacy. That's why A-listers like Tayler Swift and Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas go there. Oh, you informed Morinda about Bailey Boo's needs, right?"

"Yes. I paid the pet deposit." The price for Bailey's stay had stood out to her as it amounted to more than Tam earned in a month. "I need to arrange airfare next. Do you have a firm number of people going? Ashley and Tiara for sure, right? What about Gretchen?"

"Gretchen is in the middle of a juice cleanse. Girl doesn't have the energy to travel around the world, but she said it's totally paying off. Like, she won't have a single toxic thing left in her body when it's over, except for whatever seeps through her skull at the salon. And Tiara can't come either. Something about her grandmother being in the hospital. Poor thing. But I don't understand about arranging airfare."

"Airfare. To pay for a plane to transport you from LAX to a luxury vacation in the Maldives?"

"Oh Hun." she gave Tam's hand a squeeze. "This is why I love you so much. Did you think I'd fly commercial?"

#

Never during that exchanged did Goldie mention bringing Tam along. This was a vacation getaway for friends, and Tam was an employee, not a friend. As she waited on the curb outside her apartment, an old suitcase with a hole in the side and a broken zipper propped up against the post of a loading zone sign, she wondered what sort of lines were about to blur. A fun and restful break from the LA scene now included the making of the latest EpiGold, supposedly including Tam in more than just a cameo role. Was this a work trip? A working vacation? Would she be attending as Goldie's assistant or did Goldie regard her as something more than that?

Tam's palms sweat. She should be happy, flying to paradise on a private jet to bury her feet in a coral sand beach while sipping fruity cocktails mixed by their personal chef. She could leave the old Tam behind. She didn't have to be desperate anymore. Desperate Tam didn't vacation on a private island with a rich influencer and her entourage.

She'd begun to convince herself that everything was fine when Goldie's car pulled up in front of her. The driver, a short man with a thick mustache, jumped out and took Tam's suitcase from her.

"Ms. Martin," he nodded in greeting as he opened the passenger side back door. "Beautiful morning, isn't it?"

"Not like all those ugly mornings, right?"

He chuckled. "Yes indeed."

Tam ducked her head to stare into the darkness of the car's interior, expecting Goldie's radiant face to welcome her to part one of the vacations of the rich and famous.

"Goldie told me to make sure you packed the swimsuit she bought."

Tam gripped the top of the car door, then forced herself to let go and climb as elegant as she could into the back seat. Ricky shut the door behind her. "Hello and good morning to you too, Jasper."

"Sorry, yeah hi." Blue light from his phone lit up his face as he glared at its screen.

Tam pressed herself as close to her door as she could manage. "Where's Goldie?"

"Late, as usual."

"What about her friends?"

"What about them?"

"The resort is expecting five people."

Jasper let out a noisy exhale that reminded Tam of Goldie when her maid had forgotten to wash her silk bathrobe on a gentle cycle. "I don't fucking know, Tam. She's going, you're going, I'm going even though I told her I hate places like fucking Morinda."

"You hate a tropical paradise?"

"Paradise? For who?"

He leaned his head against the window and kept his eyes glued to his phone for the rest of the ride.

____

Thank you for reading Chapter 1! It took me all of that strange year of 2020 to write and revise this story to the point that I felt I could share it with you. I hope you'll stick with it as we journey through what's starting out to be another... interesting year.