A/N warning suicidal thoughts & actions ya

"Today's the day!" Alex announced excitedly, shaking John awake.
"Wha- oh, OH! Your trial!" John exclaimed as he sat up slowly. Alex quickly pecked him on the cheek before jumping out of bed and performing a little jig over to his shelf where he had a crisp, freshly pressed suit laid out and waiting for him.

John laughed at Alex's happy dance, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Alex swept the suit up in his arms and held it up beside him.
"Ooh snazzy," John chuckled as Alex posed with the suit. Alex smiled brightly, but his expression faulted as he lay the suit back down and approached John slowly.

He knelt in front of where he sat on the bed, taking John's hands in his.
"This won't be the last time we see each other, I promise," Alex whispered. John nodded in approval and rest his forehead against Alex's.
"Better not be," John laughed half-heartedly, squeezing Alex's hands.
"I wouldn't be able to stay away," Alex shrugged, looking up at John through his eye lashes. "Does this prison do conjugal visits?" Alex smirked, licking his lips. John laughed before dropping to a serious tone.
"Yes." John tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips against Alex's. They broke apart slowly and without another word Alex stood up and let John's hands slip from his grasp.

Alex brushed his teeth and then began to slip into his suit while John made his bed. Once he had his shirt, pants and shoes on, John appeared behind him with his jacket, helping him slip it on. Alex stood patiently as John folded his cuffs and tied his tie for him.

He finished the tie and let his hands rest on Alex's shoulders.
"You're gonna do amazing," John smiled, looking into Alex's eyes with a determined glint. Alex returned his gaze, a smile tugging at his lips. "Let me do your hair," John laughed, running a hand through Alex's knotty locks.

Alex chuckled as John pushed him to the floor in front of the bed and got to work on combing it into a neat low ponytail. Once it was finished he helped pull Alex to his feet and lead him to the cell door.

Alex leaned in for one last kiss before he swung the door open. Outside the cell block Samuel Seabury waited with cuffs and a folder for Alex with all the paperwork required.
John, Hercules and Lafayette bid him farewell and wished him luck as he was taken out of the cell block and had his hands cuffed in front of him. Soon he was being lead through the corridors and out to the front of King's, ready to begin his journey to the court.

Part of John hoped Alex was innocent, for his own good, but another part of him longed for Alex to be guilty. The first reason for this being that Alex would be able to stay with him at King's, and the second being that John wouldn't feel as indescribably guilty about being a criminal, about killing someone, if Alex had too.

Alex arrived in the court and not long after the session began. Alex sat patiently beside his lawyer as his paperwork was reviewed, witnesses took the stand and evidence was analysed. The psychologist's report said there was nothing that suggested Alex was guilty, or innocent for the matter. All the evidence worked in favour of suicide.

The only thing left to do now was review the anonymous witness report recently submitted. Alex was never told this was going to happen. Odd.

He wasn't allowed to read it, but judging by the expressions gracing the jury's faces something interesting was written on that paper that was probably going to make a significant difference in the outcome of today.

"Mr Hamilton," The judge finally announced. Alex rose to his feet confidently, clasping his hands behind his back. "The jury has come to a decision,"

Alex's legs began to wobble like jelly, waiting for the 'i' word to be uttered from the judge's mouth.

"I regret to inform you the jury has deemed you guilty of the murder of Peter Hamilton."

Alex felt like he was going to vomit.

"N-no, I didn't do it," He muttered under his breath.

"You have been sentenced to 10 years of imprisonment, charged with involuntary man-slaughter." The judge continued.

Alex froze.
"Wait, involuntary?"

The judge didn't answer him, instead she continued to speak, but everything she was saying was going in one ear and out the other for Alex. The world was spinning, spiralling out of control right ahead of him.
At least I'll be with John.

That didn't help Alex's train of thought. He still felt like he was going to puke up every organ in his body, right here, right now.
"I'm sorry Mr Hamilton," his lawyer apologised with a sympathetic glance. Alex swivelled around, his eyes darting around the room as sweat began to bead on his forehead.

He met the judge's gaze and she looked him straight in the eye.
"Kill me!" She screamed.
Alex jumped, stricken with fear as he looked to his lawyer for an explanation.
"Kill me!" His lawyer yelled, throwing Alex's file to the ground.
"KILL ME!" The jury chanted, slamming their hands down on the bench and bolting upright.

He must've been hallucinating. This was all a dream. They couldn't have found him guilty? Could they?

"CONGRATULATIONS ALEXANDER, YOU'VE INVENTED A NEW KIND OF STUPID!" Peter yelled in a fit of fury. Alex stepped back and almost tripped, slowly heading towards the apartment door. "Let me end this! Don't make me suffer any longer!"
"Peter, just put the gun down, please," He pleaded on the verge of tears.

Peter looked at the gun for a moment, before flicking the safety off and raising it slowly, pressing it to his own temple.
"Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out right now?" Peter spat, his knuckles white with the pressure on his hand.

"Listen, I know things are tough right now, but it'll get better, Peter I promise we can make things better. I-I'll get a second job, we can move-" Alex began to plan, his hands shaking as he watched Peter methodically fiddle with the trigger.
"No Alex, I'm done trying to fix things, my life's always been shit, it always WILL be shit." Peter roared, tears welling up in his wide eyes. "I'M DONE!" He cried, squeezing his eyes shut. He shot the gun as Alex lunged forward and snatched it from his hand. The gun shot barely missed Peter's head, flying behind him and smashing into the wall.

Alex flicked the safety on and held the gun behind him.
"PETER WHAT THE FUCK?" Alex yelped in horror, clutching the gun firmly as his face contorted into an expression of desperation.

"Alex please, you don't understand," Peter began to sob, crashing to his knees and slumping forward.
"Yes I do! When mom died I was ready to end everything! But I'm telling you now things can only get better. When you hit rock bottom the only direction left to go is up," Alex explained desperately, slowly inching forwards and reaching his hand out towards Peter.
"Alex I've been sitting BELOW rock bottom for years, things obviously aren't getting better, please, let me be free." Peter spoke, his body wracked with sobs and cheeks wet with tears. Alex began to kneel down beside him, but quickly jumped back to his feet when Peter lunged for the gun.

"Alex!" Peter yelled, dropping to all fours and pounding the floor.
"NO!" Alex screamed, backing away towards the front door.
"Kill me!

Kill me!

Alex please!" Peter repeated, slamming his fists into the floor. Alex heard a crack as one of his knuckles snapped on the impact. Peter continued attacking the floor, blood splattered on the ground in front of him.
"Peter STOP!" Alex yelled, his back hitting the front door.
"KILL ME!" Peter screamed, looking Alex directly in the eye. Alex shook his head and slapped his hand over the door handle, flinging the front door open. He looked down at the gun clasped in his sweaty, shaking hand. For a moment, an eery silence swept the room.

"No."

Innocent