One year later

KIM NAMJOON 

I was a mess when he left me. I cried for a week, then I drank a lot, then I ended up in bed with another man, then I cried again. I've lived in this vicious circle for about two months. I was slowly drowning in my thoughts about him which I tried to push away with a bottle or two. I couldn't rely on anyone - my family, friends, co-workers, no one understood me. It took me some time to get up from the rock bottom and climb up straightly to the top - I sure have to admit it took me a lot of strenght, sleepless nights with coffee and some sleeping pills which I refused to eat. 

I couldn't sleep because everytime I closed my eyes, I saw him. His sparkling brown eyes, his warm voice, his smile what has always cheered me up. I missed cuddling with him, I missed holding him, kissing him, making love to him. I missed talking to him, grabbing coffee, eating out with him. Everything I've done previously I had to change. I don't visit the same restaurant or even the same coffee shop. I also had to move out of my apartment because everytime I've been into kitchen, I saw him there standing and cooking food for us or preparing take-away food. 

No one has ever hurt me like that before, but I guess I needed that to realise what person have I become. 

Now I'm full-time succesfull CEO of two large companies and a great friend. I stopped living my poisoned life and became someone else, someone even better and I've never thought I'd ever end up like this. He helped me a lot, but he will never know that. As much as I wish to talk to him again, I know I would end up hurt and broken again. I have a habit to be broken, I've always been broken somehow. It's been so long since I've felt happy.

It's maybe ridiculous, but I've been searching for him for past months. I contacted everyone I know to help me find out where he is. I've been waiting for messages for so long, yet not even good one came. I wanted to give up, but something in the corner of my mind told me I should continue. It was a drug for me. The feeling of him being much more happier without me slowly destroyed me, but I wanted to know if he gets what he deserves. Happiness, love, success, strong friendship.

"Mr. Kim, we've found him. We've found Jin." said one of my contacts.

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i'm incredibly sorry it took me so long to update but here it is. prepare your tissues 'cause the next chapter may be sad. :)