Alice's POV

I walked to my car after a long night. It's been a month since I've seen or heard from Jonathan. He left in the middle of the night and when I woke up the next morning he wasn't there. I was so worried about him. I called him many times and he never answered.

The thing that gets me the most is that I never realized how little I knew of him. I didn't know where he lived or where he worked so I had no way of looking for him. I couldn't call anyone else because I didn't know his family or friends.

I got into my car and drove home to my apartment.

He just vanished.

I tried coming up with a reason as to why he would just leave but I couldn't come up with anything. I looked through the paper just in case something happened to him, but there was no sigh of him.

For all I knew, his name probably wasn't even Jonathan Dennis.

After making my way inside the building I went to my mail box and unlocked it taking my mail out. I made my way up to my floor and into my apartment. I took my shoes off along with my coat and scarf. I sat on my couch and opened piece by piece of mail. Most of them were bills, there's just spam.

Then there was an envelope that surprised me. It was something I usually never received.

It was a letter from a Creedmoor Psychiatric Hospital. Psychiatric hospital? What could I have to do with a psychiatric hospital?

I slid my finger through the fold of the envelope, ripping it open.

I began to read:

Dear Alice,

I am sorry. I left without saying goodbye. I was never good at goodbyes. I know it was sudden and out of no where but I just had to go away. My life is a fucking mess and frankly you don't deserve to have to deal with me. I screwed up and now I'm paying for it. It'll never be enough but I just don't want to hurt you. More than I already have. I don't want to hurt anyone.

Know that I am fine and I don't want you to visit me. I realize this letter will have an address on it but I don't want you to come see me.

I wish I could explain everything to you but unfortunately I can't. I'm a coward for that. I'm a coward for many things, in fact. You helped me realize that. I know that the world would be better without me in it. I don't know how much longer I have. I'm not dying, but I sure wish I was, it would take all of the pain away.

If nothing else, I hope you know that I love you with every ounce of my being. I hope you realize your importance not only to me but to everyone who has been lucky enough to know you. I hope you recognize the fact that I appreciate and adore you without restraints, and that this will never change.

You deserve so much more credit than you give yourself. You're a wonderful person inside and out; I wish I could have been as loving and kind as you. The world needs more people like you in it.

Lastly, I wish the best for you and know that you'll do great things in life.

Love, Jonathan

My tears had hit the piece of paper in my hands, smudging the ink in it. This not only sounded like a goodbye, it sounded like a suicide note.

What could have been so wrong with him that he ended up in a psychiatric hospital? He looked completely normal. This couldn't be the end, I had to see him, I had to know why he was there and why he left.

I looked at the envelope again, Creedmoor Psychiatric Hospital.

The next day I made my way to the hospital. It was completely deserted, not surrounded by anything except empty fields of dry glass and dry plants. The main building was eerie looking, brown, maybe fifteen stories tall. I parked in the visitors section and made my way inside.

So many things were running through my mind but all I could think about is seeing the man I loved.

Everything in the hospital was white, the walls, the doors, the floors, and even the clothing on those there. It was plain and simple, not decorated at all, quiet, and lonely. A nurse also dressed in white greeted me from her desk, "Good Morning, can I help you?"

"I came to visit someone. Jonathan Dennis," I said walking up to the desk, hoping that it was really his name.

"What is your name?"

"Alice Simmons," I said.

"Please sign this," she said handing a paper and a pen. I signed it and she handed me a visitors pass. "Follow me," she said walking around her desk.

I followed her to the silver elevator doors, the only thing that wasn't white. Once we got inside she scanned her badge and hit the tenth floor.  "The last five floors are intensive care, we keep our more complicated patients up there," she explained.

"May I ask why Jonathan is in there?" I asked in confusion.

"Jonathan's case is a little difficult to explain, you would have to ask his therapist to further explain," she said.

Once on the tenth floor she walked out and took me to a large door with a small window at the top. On the side a black chalkboard said, 'Jonathan Dennis'

She knocked once and then opened the door, "Jonathan? There's someone here to see you."

After she signaled me to go inside, I slowly walked inside, taking a few steps at a time. The room was plain as well, with a bed, a nightstand, and a gated window. Jonathan was sitting on the edge of the bed reading a book.

The nurse left the door cracked open before she left. Jonathan looked up and was surprised to see me, "Alice?"

I started, "Hi Jonathan, I got your letter."

"I told you not to come, why are you here?" He said looking down.

"I came for an explanation," I said.

"I can't tell you," he said turning his face away.

"Why not?," I asked, "You managed to send me that letter and admit all your feeling for me but you can't tell me this?"

"Could you please go?" He said.

"You told me you loved me in that letter. Is that true?" I asked sitting next to him.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Well I want you to know something too, I love you," I said.

He looked up with a bit of hope in his face. We both started leaning in closer and closer until our lips were moving agaisnt each other's effortlessly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his hands on my lower back.

Flashbacks of all the times we had made love flashed before my eyes. His lips were all to familiar mostly when they were accompanied by the felling of his hands on my body.

There was a knock on the door that made us instantly pull away and I look to see who was knocking. "Excuse me... I apologize," he said, "I would like to speak with you, Alice."

"Okay," I agreed, "I'll be back."

Just as I started getting up Jonathan held onto my arm making me turn to look at him, "Promise me you'll be back no matter what Dr. Hopkins tells you."

"I promise," I said before I kissed his cheek and started to follow Dr. Hopkins.

In the hallway and after he had closed Jonathan's door, the doctor started explaining, "I'm Doctor Hopkins, Jonathan's psychiatrist. Jonathan interned himself about a month ago. He said he needed help because he was insane. After a few sessions with him I discovered that everything he was telling me was true. This might get graphic and hard to take, is it okay if I continue?"

I gave him a nod.

"Jonathan fantasizes about killing prostitutes. He dreams about stabbing them and feeling their blood all over him. This excites him in various ways. Not only does he do this, he falls under the category of a psychopath."

I felt sick to my stomach. How could a person as sweet and normal as him like fantasizing about this stuff? That's the thing wasn't it? Psychopaths were the most normal human beings on the planet. You could be talking to a psychopath and never know it. But Jonathan? Could he really be one?

Then it hit me. The knife, all the missing prostitutes, the dead stabbed bodies, Esmeralda, Tiffany, all of them... were killed by him. He didn't only fantasize about killing them, he slaughtered them. And I was probably next...

My stomach was spinning and I was so confused. Why was he here? Why would he tell me that he loves me? Why would he have sex with me? How many times has he tried killing me? How could I not have known? He was always at strip clubs... He had a fucking knife with him when he came to see me.

I couldn't face him again. This wasn't possible. I felt extremely nauseous, "Excuse me, I need to use the restroom."

"It's at the end of the hallway," he said.

I ran to the bathroom and into the stall. I stood in front of the toilet. Just as I stared down into the toilet I emptied all the contents of my stomach out. I stood up and left the stall rinsing my mouth in the sink before starting into the mirror.

How could I have been so blind after seeing that knife? I guess I was just too infatuated with him to see past it.

Then I remembered the promise he made me make. To go back no matter what the doctor told me. But I never expected it to be this. I never expected to find out that Jonathan was a psychopath much less that he murdered all those girls. It doesn't matter that I made that promise.

I simply can't go back.