This is not what death feels like.

Unless breathing comes with death.

My mouth felt like my tongue turned to sandpaper. It was dry, sucking all moisture from it.

Water.

With eyes still closed, I tried to move my arm. I strained, telling my muscles to work. The only movement I got was a small twitch of my fingers.

"Mmh," I moaned. My eyelids cracked open, letting a small sliver of light hit my eyes.

It was like the sun.

I squinched my eyes shut again, escaping the harsh light. Slowly, I let the brightness hit me again, it not being as overwhelming that time.

Where am I?

The only light in the room came from the moonlight that shone through a window. It hit the walls, making them faintly shine like a jewel. A desk with a green-covered book sat next to the bed I was in. A dresser was in the corner.

The room was sparse, arranged like mine was in the castle. But, there was no way I was inside the castle. Everything looked different--calmer. Tamer. Lighter.

I reached across the bed to the desk, finally able to move my arms. I grabbed the book and flipped it over so I could see the cover. The squiggle lines took a minute to get into focus, but when they did, I racked my brain, trying to remember what each symbol meant.

Ele--ven Chims.

No, Chimes.

Eleven Chimes.

A held in huff of air escaped me. Am I in the castle? Why don't I recognize it? What happened?

I braced myself with my arms and started to swing my legs off the bed. The world spun around at a dizzying speed and pain raked up my side and across my chest at the small movement.

"Ah." I winced and grabbed at my ribs. "Bad idea. Laying down it is."

Careful not to disturb myself any more than I already had, I slowly lowered my head to the pillow. The merry-go-round of blurs slowed to a halt.

With my right hand, I touched my forehead. Everything feels different. Off.

My body felt lighter somehow. Not the same. Like I was smaller than normal. Something was off in my hearing, too. Everything was too quiet.

I held up my hand and examined it. It was still long and thin, pale with lack of sun. I extended my fingers, looking for the claws that should have come with.

Nothing.

I stared at the nothingness in amazement. Maybe I'm just tired.

I felt my ribs again, seeing how badly they were injured. It hurt to barely touch them.

Broken it is. What happ...oh.

The memory of "what happened" surfaced to my mind. I remembered having a harmless knife hit my back, and not-so-harmless knives stab me later. A small burst of pain flared in my chest at the memory of a sword impaling me.

I pulled the shirt I was in up slightly and ran my bare fingers against my side. They met a pucker of rough skin.

What else was there?

I closed my eyes, trying to conjure up the memory.

A pair of emerald green balls sparkled
over me. Droplets of water fell from them.

I sighed at my stupidity. Those are called "eyes," genius.

A voice mumbled something faintly, barely hearable through the ever-growing buzzing.

"I love you."

My eyes snapped open. "Lizaveta," I whispered. She spoke those words. It was she I replied to on my last strings of consciousness.

I might as well have been dead. There was no saving me. What'd she do?

The door was becoming a goal of mine very quickly. If I could get to the door, I could get out of the room. If I could get out of the room, I could find Lizaveta and ask her she did.

She didn't use the healing spell, did she?

Just the thought of her being that careless terrified me. The thought that she did and it worked was worse.

I barely held on to life for as long as I did. If she transferred my wounds to herself, then she was dead.

There would be no way around it.

I slowed my breathing, surprised that Beast hadn't spoken up by then. With as much as I felt, he would see it as a buffet.

I twisted my head to face the door. Okay. One. Two. Three.

For the second time, I inched my legs off the bed and sat up. Agony screamed at me to stop, to lay back down. My bare foot hit the cold ground, sending shivers up my spine.

I wrapped my fingers around the bedpost, gripping it tightly to help me stand.

Of all the times to not have that stupid cane...

My legs shook below me like and earthquake suddenly struck once I started to stand. I fell back onto the bed, the jolt of my landing sending the all-to-familiar pain up my ribs.

I gasped. "Ow."

Maybe lying down won't hurt.

I started to pull myself back onto the bed, not caring about the covers.

Creeak.

A split-second later, it was like I never got up. I yanked the sheets up to where they were when I woke up and closed my eyes, pretending to still be asleep.

The door opened the rest of the way, and the uneven patter of footsteps reached my ears. They stopped next to my bed.

A puff of air brushed hit my face as a girl sighed. She ran her hand along the bed carefully, feeling for something under the sheets, then picked herself up onto the bed.

I clenched my teeth, holding back a groan at the movement of my bed. A soft hand found mine. The girl laced her fingers through mine and breathed in.

"You know," she mumbled, "when they said it would take you a while to wake up, I didn't really believe them."

Relief flooded over me at the sound of her soft voice that was laced with the faintest of accents. Lizaveta.

"It's been... about three days since I opened my eyes again. Don't know why you're taking longer than me."

Opened her eyes again? She was hurt?

Lizaveta dropped my hand and squirmed. A small whimper reached my ears.

She sucked in a breath. "Me and my bright ideas," she muttered.

She breathed in. "I hate stories. Books. Fairytales. They give you false ideas for reality. That's why I've never liked to read. In everything, it's 'True love's kiss will break the spell,' or 'Happily ever after.' 'He was blind, but her tears made him see again.' Crap like that. Life is different."

She sniffled. "I thought you were dead..." she whispered. "I thought that, for one second, the books might be true."

"There was nothing," she gasped. I stayed still, clueless at what to do.

"I came in here last night," she whispered. "And I brought you that book."

The room went silent. If I listened hard enough, I could've heard her eyes landing on Eleven Chimes.

"That book," she slowed her talking speed to a crawl. "--that I specifically told Lia not to touch, and now, it's flipped over. Which means 'A,' she touched it--which is very unlikely-- or 'B,' you're awake and faking it."

Oops.

I painfully pushed myself up so I was halfway sitting and grinned sheepishly. "Hi?"

Wham.

"Ow!" I cried. I rubbed my arm where she punched me. "What was that for?"

The sudden weight of her body on mine silenced me. Lizaveta's arms wrapped around my neck, squeezing me like she'd never let go. I placed my hands on her back awkwardly, feeling her quake beneath my touch.

"You were dead," she mumbled. "You were gone. Not breathing."

Silent sobs racked her body, silencing her words. I stroked her back, running my hand over her long curly hair.

"The doctors--" She gasped, then continued on shakily. "The doctors said that your heart must have s--stopped beating for a minute or two. That's why you were unconscious longer than me."

Longer than me.

Lizavta re-buried her head into the side of my neck. The wet from her face tickled my skin.

"I'm alive," I croaked. My voice sounded brittle, like glass about to shatter at the slightest gust of wind. "I'm here, and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon."

She pulled back and stared at me with her puffy, red-rimmed eyes and pink nose. She wiped at her nose with her left hand. "It's the unplanned events that I'm worried about."

I smiled and smoothed back her hair. "I'm not going to die."

She nodded quickly and closed her eyes.

"Speaking of death, what happened to Vadik?" I asked. "All I remember is us, uh, trying to tear each other apart."

Yelizavyeta swallowed, her gaze on her hands. "He's dead. Fell into the vyecher pond--with a very broken neck and burned body, I might add."

"You did that?"

Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. "Don't sound so surprised..."

"I'm not!" I protested. "I'm just--"

Thankfully, digging my own grave was interrupted. Unthankfully, it was by Lizaveta coughing. She held up her hand to her mouth and hacked loudly, gasping in between coughs. She pulled her hand away from her mouth. It was speckled with blood.

I stared at her in alarm and grabbed her arm before she could hide it. "Lizaveta--"

"It's fine," she cut in weakly. "It's just a side effect. It'll be gone in a few days."

The intensity of her eyes dulled down from an electric emerald to blunt forest. Her face was pale like a porcelain doll, studded with beads if perspiration. Even her hair wasn't at its full wildness.

How didn't I notice this earlier?

"Side effect of what, Zara?" I asked gently.

She bit her lip and mumbled something, not meeting my eyes.

"Side effect of what?" I repeated, louder.

"Healing you," she breathed.

I closed my eyes and leaned back, dead filling my stomach. "If you healed me, then how are you still alive?"

"Vadik." The bed rustled as she slid next to me. "I channeled it to Vadik."

I opened my eyes and stared at the small girl beside me in amazement. "You channeled the spell?"

She nodded.

Instead of feeling happy, the opposite emotion hit me. "Do you realize how dangerous that was! You could've died! You might not have been able to take it! And, Vadik, he already was injured, so you transferred that to you, too? Why--"

"Don't fuss at me!" Lizaveta shouted. I silenced, staring at her. "You don't think I know that? I know the spell might've killed me! I know that everything transferred to me!" She trembled, glaring at me in rage. "I took it. I took everything. The stabs, the knife cuts, even the result of being burned alive. I took it all. And it didn't kill me!"

My mouth dropped slightly. "You took it all..."

Lizaveta continued her fuss, talking faster and faster, waving her hands around in the air. "You don't get to tell me for something that you would've done too. I died for you, Brennen."

The last five words took a second to sink in. She clapped her hands over her mouth like she uttered an inexcusable word.

I searched her face, trying to find proof of a jest. She was dead serious. "You died?"

A sheepish grin spread across her face. "Only a little," she whispered.

Vadik had a broken neck when he fell into the pond.

"He broke your neck?"

"Yeah." With her left hand, she pulled her curls away from her neck so I could see. A faint purple splotch lined her skin around the bone. "That's all that remains."

I pulled her close to me, ignoring the screaming that came from my ribs. "You brave, stupid girl," I whispered to her hair.

Her body jolted as she let out a short laugh. "It's amazing how often those two things collide."

I smiled, happy for the first time in forever.

My breaths caught. That's what's different. I released my grip on Lizaveta and pulled back, scrambling as far away from her as I could.

Where are you, Beast? Waiting to strike?

The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop then. "You can't make me kill her by surprising me."

The confusion on Lizaveta's face softened into understanding. "Brennen." Her hands found mine. "He's not there anymore."

I tugged out of her reach, hovering at the edge of the bed. Where are you, Beast? Don't play with me!

"Brennen!"

My eyes locked with Lizaveta's. "You need to get away. He'll hurt you. He's try--"

A cold hand caressed my cheek. A soft smile tugged at her lips. "Brennen, he's not there anymore," she whispered. "Don't you feel it? You're free."

Free.

The concept was too good to be true.

I pressed my hands against my ears, blocking out her voice. It's not true.

But why is it so quiet?

It's too quiet.

"Shh, Brennen," Lizaveta breathed. She took my hand in hers. "It's okay. It's okay."

My heart pounded like a constant drum beat, drowning out everything. I wanted to move away from Lizaveta, but yet I couldn't. I needed the comfort of her arms, the calmness of her breath.

She rocked me back and forth, holding me, letting me wait for the monster she thought wouldn't return. But it would. It wasn't gone.

Not that quickly after over two-hundred years of living in my head.

Silence was never quite that loud.

My head rose slowly from her grasp. I shook, waiting in fear of when he'd attack.

"Brennen," she breathed. "Where is there a mirror?"

I didn't answer.

"Brennen, a mirror?"

"Bottom of my desk," I finally answered. I couldn't understand why she felt the need to see her reflection.

Lizaveta slid off the bed and rummaged through the bottom desk drawer, then finally pulled out a small, hand-held mirror. She rubbed her sleeve against it, getting most of the dust off.

"Look." She held the thing up in front of my face.

I promptly turned my head. "I don't like mirrors."

"Neither do I. Quit being stubborn and look, even if it's for a second."

I sighed and twisted my hers to face the glass. The man glaring at me made a horrible face, drawing out the long scars that raked across his cheeks. His blonde hair was clumped and tangled, having not seen a brush in years.

But the eyes. The eyes weren't blood red.

Lizaveta smiled. "Never," she breathed, "Never have I seen eyes that are such a rich brown."

They're normal.

"I'm normal."

It couldn't be true.

But I stared at a reflection of a man who had no pointed teeth or crimson eyes.

"It broke. I'm human again."

Lizaveta placed the mirror back on my desk. "You've always been human, even when you believed that you weren't."

She broke it.

She sat back down on my bed. "Believe me now?"

A wide smile broke free from my lips. "I can feel again. I can be angry. I can be sad--happy."

I met her eyes. "I can feel."

She nodded tiredly. "You can feel."

Lizaveta leaned against me and yawned. The dark circles under her eyes were blacker than ever before.

Worry hit me. I let it. "Have you slept at all?"

"Not one bit," she mumbled. "I tried the first night and--" She shook her head and sighed. "Nightmares are such awesome dreams to have."

"Nightmares about?"

She cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrow. "You, dummy. Want to know more? 'Kay, then. You died. Over and over again. And I couldn't stop it."

She laid her head on my shoulder. "But nightmares are just that--nightmares. Fears. And fears are conquerable."

My head started to ache gently. Doing as much as I did was taking its toll.

"Why didn't you summon a mirror with magic?"

Priorities, right?

"I can't anymore," she mumbled sadly. "I used all of it up healing you. Right now, the doctors think that if I try it again, I'll die."

"Trying it again isn't a good option, then."

"Well, duh."

She fell silent, her eyes closed. For a few minutes, I believed her to be asleep.

"I dreamed about Raul when I was dead-ish," she mumbled. "I think--I think he helped me come back. I had a choice. To let go or hold on."

I closed my eyes, remembering Raul. The pain and sadness that came along with the memories were finally allowed to roam free. Something wet fell down my cheek. I reached up, wiping it away.

A tear. I can cry.

"And you chose to hold on," I mumbled into Lizaveta's hair.

She chuckled sleepily. "Obviously."

We fell silent again. Her breathing soon became slow and steady. She was peaceful in sleep.

I will do this one last time.

Through closed eyes, I imagined her silver necklace.

"Ela," I breathed.

The exhaustion that came with spells didn't attack me that time.

I held the cross necklace in my hand. Carefully, I unlocked it and clasped the chain around her neck.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I smiled, a warm feeling spreading through my chest. I was happy.

My cheek rested against her curly hair. My eyes closed, letting sleep take over.

There will always be fear. There will always be nightmares.

That was true. I could still see and hear Beast. I wouldn't forget him, just like she wouldn't forget Vadik and her mother.

But fear can be conquered.

Like the ending of my curse. Like the death of Vadik. We beat our worst fears.

It was the ending of a life that we lived at one point.

The end.

But with every end, there is a new beginning.