Up there is the gorgeous Mae Whitman as Elizabeth Ryder! =)

Dedication to mbthesizzler ! Love ya gurl ;)

I can't thank you all enough for all the reads, it's been less than a week and I'm almost getting a hundred reads which is truly crazy! I love you all =)

Happy Reading!

~HG xx

                           |Chapter 4|

   I am not tired, I am exhausted. But I hate being unsettled. I hate sitting on the bed and staring at the sealed boxes on my bedroom floor and my unopened bag full of folded clothes. On the other hand, I hate unpacking with passion. But it had to be done.

   I started by placing my photo frames that had pictures of me and my family or me and Sophia on the tables on either sides of my bed. Next, I placed my books on the shelf above my desk in alphabetical order (I get annoyed when my books are not organised alphabetically). After an hour of unpacking all the things in my boxes, I had only two bags of clothes and pairs of shoes left to unpack.

   Once I was done opening one bag after the other and placing the folded clothes and pairs of shoes I have in the walk in closet, I sat on its floor and looked around me. I have shirts, tank tops, shorts, and jeans with all sorts of cheerful colors. These are the clothes I wear all the time, and it is just now that I realized it is these clothes that contributed to the way people treated me. The clothes welcome people and that is one of the reasons they bully me. These clothes, to some extent, defined me as somewhat harmless.

That is when I had an idea.

A few weeks ago, when I heard my father's news, I decided to change my life. And indeed, I started doing just that by dieting. But dieting will not be enough. That is why, today, I am going to give myself a new look. I am going to visit a mall and buy new clothes. I am going to change my style of clothing. In addition, I am going to have an overall makeover.

I am not going to allow people to treat me the way I have been treated back in San Francisco. Besides, new place, new life, new me. Right?

I got up and took a quick shower, rinsing my hair and body ruthlessly. Then, I dried my body from the water drops and rummaged through my wardrobe until I found a navy blue shirt and light blue colored jeggings. I threw them on and wore my blue converse. As usual, I applied no makeup (I have none, anyways) and tied my hair into a high ponytail. Once satisfied with my outfit, I trudged downstairs and ran into the kitchen, where Mom was cooking. I smiled at the heavenly aroma of what I guessed is steak.

"Hey, Mom. I'm going to the mall to renew my wardrobe. May I use your car?" I asked her, silently praying for a yes.

"Sure, honey. I'm glad you're starting to go out once again. Anyways, the car keys are in my purse. Be back by six for dinner, alright?" she told me before turning her back to me and facing the stove.

"Of course. Thanks!" I made my way towards the counter before searching through her purse for the car keys.

"Found it!" I whispered to myself before heading to the front door.

"Lizzy, where are you going?" my sister asked from behind me, holding her barbie doll.

"I'm going to the mall to buy a few things. I'll get you chocolate when I'm back, alright?" I promised her.

"Okay!" she chirped before hopping upstairs. I smiled and went out the door.

The nearest mall was ten minutes away. It is a huge building. I sighed, praying that I will not bump into anyone.

I am a loser. I cannot make new friends.

I cannot risk being bullied again.

I entered the building and started my shopping spree. I went into shop after shop and bought clothes I never imagined myself wearing before: from black leather jackets to black leather boots, black tank tops, tee shirts, shorts, skinny jeans. I bought clothes that would not define me as harmless, instead harmful. As intimidating and bad. Instead of clothes that welcomed people and drew them in, ones that pushed them away.

After I was done shopping for clothes, I went into makeup shops like Sephora, Mac, and such. I had no idea what any object was used for, so I bought everything in sight. I bought different sorts of brushes, foundation and concealer that matched my skin tone and the darkest colors of eye shadow, eye liner, and lipsticks.

Lastly, I visited a hair salon. My hair color was a dull dark brown and I wanted to change it into a more intimidating color. What is more intimidating than black?

"How may I help you?" a young looking hair dresser asked me politely.

"I-I want to dye my hair b-black, please," I replied hesitantly.

Do I really want to do this?

"Are you sure?" she asked me, untying my hair from its ponytail. I nodded slowly.

It is for the best.

So she did it. She dyed my hair black. I took a glance at the mirror and gave her a satisfied look.

"Thank you," I smiled at her and went to the cashier to pay.

After going into Spinney's and buying Sophia her favorite chocolate, I exited the mall and entered Mom's car before driving back home.

The minute I entered the house, I made my way towards the living room where my parents and Sophia were watching TV. I cleared my throat and successfully got their attention. However, their reaction was not the one I was expecting.

"Liz, what did you do to your hair?" my mom asked me, shocked.

"I dyed it?" I shyly replied.

"Why?" my dad recovered.

"I-I wanted to give myself a n-new look," I looked at them. Their eyes wandered in mine, looking for more satisfying reasons, and when I gave them none, they nodded understandingly. "Is it that bad?"

"No! It's pretty," Sophia ran to my side and held her hands up, wanting me to carry her. I did as she wanted and watched her as she played with my newly black dyed hair.

"You don't look bad," my mom assured me. "You just look-" She searched for a word to describe my hair.

"Different," Dad finished her sentence. Mom nodded in agreement.

"Yes, indeed. You look different," she continued. I nodded.

"Don't worry, we approve if it makes you happy," Dad gave me a reassuring smile.

"Of course, it does," I replied, giving them a small smile.

Does it, really?

Quick Note: Clothing, hair, or any physical appearance of yours does NOT define you. You are you and nothing defines who you are. If you want to change your clothing style or dye your hair or start applying makeup or change anything in your appearance do it because it will make you happy about yourself, not because of what people would think of you. No matter what, people will judge you. So be who you are, be happy and satisfied with yourself. Do NOT change for people. In this story, Elizabeth thinks that her clothes and physical appearance defines who she is or what she appears to be and it's wrong, but that's what her character and her experiences made her believe. I just wanted to clear up that that's not how you should think.

Thank you for reading. xx