Announcer: Welcome, brave Irken soldiers. Welcome to Conventia, the convention hall planet. Please, proceed to the docking ring and take the complimentary teleporters to the planet's surface!

A Shuvver approaches the docking ring as mechanical tubes stretch out and attach to it. Pink energy is sucked through the tubes and into the docking ring, where it's projected onto Conventia via satellite. On the planet, Monitors hover above a city, some displaying the Conventia Announcer, and one displaying a green monkey. Spittle Runners also fly over the city.

Announcer: Be sure to visit the gift shop for all kinds of cheap, useless stuff!

On the planet's surface, a beam of pink energy hits a hovering receptor, which causes an Irken to materialize in its beam.

Announcer: If you're here for The Great Assigning, please remember where you parked and proceed to the main convention hall.

Many Irkens walk towards the convention hall, while Irken Security monitors the crowds on hovering pods. The main convention hall has a large red cartoony robot sitting on top of it. As the Irkens enter the convention hall, the Irken Security fly their hover pods into several openings in the walls.

Red Robot: Galactic conquest is here! (Repeats on a loop, raising its stubby little arms every time it says "here".)

Inside the main convention hall, the Irkens walk past an x-ray. Some of the Irkens carry purple balloons. A huge crowd of Irkens fills the convention hall. On the stage at the front of the convention hall is a disk-shaped metal pod. Electric currents charge between the ceiling and the pod. The Irken Invaders stand on a platform curved around the back of the metal pod. The hoverscreens displaying the Conventia Announcer hover over to the sides of the pod.

Conventia Announcer: Now, wiggle your antennae in salute, because here they are! Your all-knowing, all-powerful leaders, the Almighty Tallest!

A beam of light shines down from the ceiling and onto the pod. Hatches on the pod unlock and it opens up, emitting smoke. The Irkens proceed to wiggle their antennae in salute. The top half of the pod begins to rise to the ceiling. Small floating spheres emerge from the bottom half of the pod and rise above the audience. The metal spheres emit lasers in all directions. Two posts lower from the ceiling pod, which creates a holograph between them. A hover disk detaches from the bottom of the ceiling pod. It lowers downwards, with Almighty Tallest Red and Purple standing on it. The Tallest wave and the disk emits lasers from the rim. The audience cheers.

Purple: Thank you! Thank you!

Red: See, told you they'd love the lasers.

Purple: Everything is lasers with you! I'm telling you, smoke machines are what the people really...

A laser beam hits Purple in the eye and he falls over, screaming in pain. The audience cheers.

Red: See?

The disk-shaped platform lands on the lower half of the pod. As Red talks, Purple gets back up and rubs his eye.

Red: Welcome mighty Irken soldiers! You are the finest examples of military training the Irken army has to offer! Good for you. Standing behind us, however, are the soldiers we've chosen for roles in one of the most crucial parts of operation "Impending Doom 2".

The hologram behind them goes from a blank screen to that of a galactic map.

Red: You in the audience just get to sit and watch.

Purple: You should have tried harder!

Red: These superior ones-

Purple (cutting in): -Not quite as superior as us of course!

Red: Pffff... Duh! These less superior than us but still quite superior soldiers will each be assigned to an enemy planet!

Purple: There, you will blend in with the hideous native inhabitants...

Red: ...All while gathering crucial information, assessing the planet's weaknesses, making it vul-ner-able to our big... space ship... gang!

Purple: The armada? Now, let the assigning begin!

The crowd is silent.

Irken in the back of the audience: Whooooo!

Red: Step forward, Invader Larb.

Invader Larb hops onto the pod. A little ramp extends from the Tallest's disk to the pod. Larb runs up the ramp.

Red: Ah! You seem to have grown since last you stood before us, soldier!

Purple: You've been assigned to the planet Blorch, (The holograph behind them shows a picture of Invader Larb being attacked by giant rats.) home of the slaughtering rat people!

Invader Larb: Why would you draw that?! (his eyes water)

Red: However, because of your increased height, we have decided to give you the planet Vort, (The picture changes to one of Invader Larb relaxing on a large couch.) home of the universe's most comfortable couch.

Invader Larb: Yeeeeeees!

He takes his assignment sheet from Purple then slides away joyfully.

Purple: Next, Invader Spleen!

Invader Spleen walks up.

Red and Purple: Ooooooh!

Both Tallests are impressed by the big, long head of Invader Spleen, who eyes them quizzically. Meanwhile, Vlalarie's Voot Cruiser flies towards the docking ring.

Vlalarie: Move it, move it! Invader coming! Move it! Argh, move it! Get out of the way!

Vlalarie sandwiches her Voot Cruiser in between two docked Viral Tanks. Cut back to the Great Assigning.

Purple: And last... INVADER SKOODGE!

A short, fat Invader with a stained shirt walks up.

Red: Oh, now that's just sad.

Purple (Loudly): COULD YOU GET ANY SHORTER?!

Invader Skoodge looks at the Almighty Tallest sadly.

Red: You will be assigned to Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people. Thank you.

A picture of Invader Skoodge being attacked by the rat people appears on the holoscreen. Tears swell up in Skoodge's eyes. Vlalarie pushes her way to the front of the main convention hall through the crowds of Irkens.

Vlalarie: Get out of the way! Move it, move it! Get out of my way! Move! You're in my way!

Red: Thus concludes the great assigning!

Vlalarie: Move! You're in my way! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Move it! Move it! (and so on...)

Red: Help yourselves to some nachos, and we'll see you at the equipping station.

Purple: Yes, gorge yourselves... you MOOCHES!

Vlalarie: No, no, no! Wait!

Vlalarie waves an arm from the front of the crowd.

Red: That voice!

Vlalarie crawls onto the pod.

Red: No!

Purple: It can't be!

Vlalarie rears her head up.

Red and Purple: Vlalarie!

Vlalarie walks up to where the Tallest are. Invader Skoodge slowly backs away from Vlalarie.

Vlalarie: Sorry I'm late, my Tallest. I couldn't find my invitation. You're lucky I made it at all.

Red: You weren't invited at all.

Purple: Weren't you banished to Foodcourtia? Shouldn't you be... frying something?

Vlalarie: Oh, I quit when I found out about this.

Purple: You quit being banished?

Red: The Assigning is over, Vlalarie!

Vlalarie: But you can't have an invasion without me! I was in operation "Impending Doom 1". Don't you remember?

Purple (Sarcastically): Oh, yes... We remember....

Flashback to planet Irk. Sirens are going off, and several explosions occur. Two Irkens run towards a parked Spittle Runner, but abruptly turn around and run away from the ship right before a large robotic foot of Frontline Battle Mech #4 crushes it. In the cockpit of the battle mech, Vlalarie pulls levers while laughing maniacally.

Irken Operator: But ma'm, we're still on our own planet!

Vlalarie: Silence! Twist those knobs! Twist those knobs! You! Pull some levers! Pull some levers!

The Irken operators obey disdainfully. The Almighty Tallest watch speechlessly from a building as the battle mech rampages through the wrecked city with Vlalarie's laughter ringing in the air. Further damage occurs as the large cannon on the mech's back pivots around, firing indiscriminately with its sweeping laser. The flashback ends. Vlalarie attempts to smile innocently.

Vlalarie: I put the fires out.

Red: You made them worse!

Vlalarie: Worse... or better?

Purple: Guh... Besides, no Invader has ever been so... very small. You're very small, Zim. You're a tiny... thing.

Vlalarie: BUT... Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant RADIOACTIVE ROBO-PANTS! The pants command me!.. DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!!

Red (Awkwardly): As a show of... gratitude for your service in the past... eh... Here's a sandwich.

Red pulls a sandwich out of his belt and hands it to Vlalarie.

Vlalarie: But...

Purple: Thanks for coming, everybody!

Zim: Hello!

Purple: Goodnight!

Vlalarie: Hello! Hello! WAIT!!!

Purple: What? You got your sandwich!

Vlalarie: My Tallest, an opportunity to prove I truly can be an Invader is all that I ask! Gimme! (Vlalarie holds out her hands, as if he is expecting them to give him something else.)

Red (to Purple): Hold on, I've got a plan. (to Vlalarie) We see now that you are truly deserving.

Vlalarie (Satisfied): Yes. Yes, I am.

Red: You will be sent to a planet so mysterious, no one has even heard of it!

Purple: Right! And those who have heard of it... dare not speak its name!

Vlalarie: What's its name?

Purple: Oh, I dare not speak it!

Vlalarie (almost skeptically): Where is it?

Red:: Um... (He starts hovering around, searching the holograph of the universe for a planet.) Uh... Uh... Um... Right there!

Red points to a slip of paper taped to the holograph pole that shows the outline of a planet and a question mark in it with the word "planet?" written underneath it.

Vlalarie: Ooh! Oooooooooh! A secret mission!

Red: Happy now?

Vlalarie: Yes.

Red: Invaders, Report to the equipment hall! Oh, and remember, Lasers!

A laser hits Purple in the eye.

Purple: Ahhhhhh!

Red: The universe will be ours for the taking! It's only a matter of time before all the races of the Universe serve... the IRKEN EMPIRE!!!

Purple: I'll have them serve me the curly fries.

"Curly fries" is echoed over and over as a close-up of the slip of paper with the unknown planet changes to a shot of a galaxy that looks exactly like the planet on the slip of paper, question mark and all. Zoom in on the galaxy at light speed until planet Earth is visible, then Earth is zoomed in on until Diane is visible, sitting on a roof top receiving a transmission from Conventia. She's there with a laptop computer attached to a satellite and Diane is wearing headphones. She pulls off the headphones.

Diane: They're coming!

Diane jumps off the roof and slides down a pipe. Meanwhile, Gaz opens the refrigerator inside.

Gaz: Dib drank the last soda. He will pay!

Outside, Diane slides down the rest of the pipe and swings into an open window, where she falls into a sink filled with water.

Diane : They're coming!

Diane jumps out of the sink and runs to his father, Professor Membrane.

Diane: Dad! They're coming! I heard them! I actually heard them! I was up on the roof, and I heard this transmission that was coming through!

Professor Membrane: Shtshtshtsht! Not now daughter! I'm making (sparks of electricity fly everywhere) TOAST!

Professor Membrane lifts up a piece of toast triumphantly. Diane runs to his sister, Gaz. Gaz is holding juice, since she couldn't find a soda.

Diane : Gaz, they're coming! They really are!

Gaz: (Irritably) Who's coming, Diane?

Diane: I don't know...

Fade in to the equipping station, where the Invaders gather around the Almighty Tallest. Purple puts a compact robot on the ground, which unfolds into a two-foot-tall robot.

Purple: This is your Standard Issue Information Retrieval Unit, also known as a SIR. It will assist you in gathering valuable knowledge during your mission.

Red: It's also a thermos!

Purple picks up the SIR and it compacts again.

Purple: Who wants this one?

Invader (O.S.): I do!

Purple throws it and it hits the Invader.

Invader (O.S.): Ow! (Woozily) Thank you.

Red: Everyone else, line up and take a robot!

The invaders line up. Out of the wall, a long mechanical tentacle that serves as a conveyor belt emerges. Several compact SIR units slide down. The first Invader in line, Invader Larb, steps up. A SIR detaches from the wire and unfolds, on its feet and ready for action.

Larb: SIR! Go warm up my ship's engines.

SIR: Yes master, I obey!

The SIR and Larb walk off as Vlalarie steps forward.

Vlalarie: Finally! A robot slave of my own!

Vlalarie reaches her arms out, waiting to get her own SIR.

Red (Contemptuously): Um, eh, we have a "top-secret" model for you, Vlalarie.

Red waves his hand over a hole near him and a trashcan emerges. Red searches through the discarded SIR parts as Purple pulls out a screw, 2 pennies, a paper clip, and a rubber ball from his pocket band. Red attaches some eyes to a head as Purple dumps the junk in as a brain for the new robot. Purple makes a howling kind of whistle noise and tosses the hunk of junk in front of Vlalarie. It lies there, inactive.

Vlalarie: It looks kind of... not good.

Purple: Yes! Well, that's what the enemy will think! (Red nods in agreement) Get it?

Vlalarie: I see! Very good! It even fooled meee! I am honored to be trusted with such advanced technology.

The Almighty Tallest giggle to themselves. Suddenly, the robot activates with red glowing eyes and runs up to Vlalarie.

SIMI:SIMI, reporting for duty!

Vlalarie: SIMI?What does the 'S' stand for?

SIMI's eyes turn blue.

SIMI:I don't know!

SIMI stands there stupidly. she then hits herself in the head repeatedly.

SIMI: Wheeeeee hoo hoo hoo! Wheeeeeeee hoo hoo hoo!

Vlalarie: Um, is it supposed to be stupid?

Purple: It's not stupid. It's advanced!

SIMI proceeds to bounce on her head repeatedly, as the Tallest continue to snicker.

All the Irken ships start to leave Conventia. Vlalarie's Voot Cruiser separates from the rest and heads for Earth.

Vlalarie: Okay, SIMI!Our mission begins now! Let us reign some doom down upon the filthy heads of our doomed enemies!

SIMI: I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom, doom, doom, doo doom, doom (and so on)

SIMI continues to sing the doom song as the Voot Cruiser zooms off.