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*

Arsalan

FLASHBACK

I was playing the role of a scarecrow in a school play in year four.  I remember that I had only one line to say: "I'm a scarecrow, and I protect the crops!"

I remembered that I froze when it was my turn to say that line. I stared wide eyed at the crowd, and pursed my lips, refusing to speak. The teachers were well prepared for such a scenario, I suppose, because when the spotlight came on me and I didn't speak, someone in the background spoke on the microphone on my behalf. 

I felt true terror that day, and with hindsight, I realise that it might have been my first taste of anxiety.

I was nine then, and I remember how much I cried that day, my head resting in Mama's lap, after we'd gotten home from the play. 

Needless to say, the bullies had picked on me even harder after that day.

One morning, a week after the school play, I was heading to school. Mama was on a morning shift, and Papa had gone to work earlier as well, and so the Tariq family driver had taken us all to our respective schools- me and Ro in Primary School, and the twins at Secondary School. The twins were dropped off first, and then me and Ro.

When we got out of the car, Ro instantly found his friends and walked away with them. I got out of the car and waved to the driver. He drove off without making sure that I'd gone inside the school- something which he got fired by Dado for later. 

I ran away.

It wasn't hard to find a way to get to Heathrow from any part of the city, and I took the Tube there. 

I found Uncle Raj, Mama's colleague, when I entered the terminal. "Hi, Uncle Raj. Is my Mama here?" 

He looked surprised to see me. "Arsalan? What are you doing here, buddy? Shouldn't you be at school?"

"I need Mama. Please."

"Okay, I'll get her. It'll take a while though. She's airside, where the planes are." He spoke in a reassuring tone. "Why don't you take a seat in the café there? You want hot chocolate?" 

"No, thank you." I shook my head. "I'll just sit there." 

It took over twenty minutes for my mother to get there. She strode towards me in her smart uniform, walking confidently and speedily in her high heels as she stared at me with anxiety. "Arsal! What are you doing here?! Why aren't you at school?" 

"I don't want to go there." 

"Why not?" She took a seat opposite me, placing a hand over mine. 

"People are mean to me there." I spoke timidly.

"Oh, honey." She sighed. She took her phone out of. "Let me call the school before they call me or your father." She dialled the number and held the phone against her ear, while running her other hand through my hair. "Good morning, this is Anabia Rehan, mother of Arsalan Rehan. He's in 4A. I'm just calling to let you know that he won't be coming in today as he's not feeling well."  

When the call ended, she went and bought a croissant and hot chocolate for me, before coming to take a seat in front of me. "Now, tell me everything, okay?" 

"Well, the bullies have always been mean to me... but since the school play." My lower lip wobbled. "They've been extra nasty."

"Oh, Arsal, I already went to speak to your teachers. Has it still not stopped?" 

I shook my head. 

She pursed her lips, before picking up her phone again. She held the phone against her ear.

"Mama, there's no point in calling them! The school staff doesn't care."

She patted my hand reassuringly, before speaking. "Assalam Alaikum. You ready to bunk work for a bit and join me as I go tear the school apart verbally for neglecting in their duty of care towards our son?" 

*

I walked down the school hall behind my parents, my head bowed. 

They walked straight to the headmistress' office and spoke to her secretary.

"Mr & Mrs. Rehan!" Mrs. Wentworth, the headmistress, greeted them with a smile as the adults took a seat. I stood behind my parents. "How may I help you?"

"Mrs. Wentworth, I personally spoke to Mrs. Bennett the last time, Arsalan's form tutor. I informed her that my son has been complaining about bullying, and she reassured me that she'll put a stop to it, yet no such thing has happened." My mother, in her airline duty-manager appearance, was clearing fuming.

Mrs. Wentworth looked embarrassed. "I... I am unaware of such a matter, Mrs. Rehan. I apologise for this, but I will look into this matter myself."

"I want a guarantee, a solid reassurance that my son will not be bullied at this school again. All of this is impacting his mental health, and that's unacceptable." My mother frowned.

"Mrs. Wentworth, if you are unable to maintain your school's anti-bullying policy, what is even the point of all those anti-bullying workshops that you hold at the beginning of each school year?" Papa added. "If my son doesn't feel safe at school, I'm afraid that I'm going to need to involve lawyers."

Fearing legal action, and possibly the involvement of the media, the headmistress shook her head. "Arsalan, you need to tell me who has been bullying you. Don't worry at all. I'll speak to the parents of the children involved, and we will resolve this."

I placed my hands on Papa's shoulders, anxiously.

"Honey, speak up." Mama spoke softly to me, her tone the complete opposite to the one that she'd used with the headmistress.

I gave the names of the bullies, but I was scared. 

"It will be your duty to monitor the situation, Mrs. Wentworth." Mama said. "All I know is that if my son ever fears going to school again, we will take legal action, like my husband mentioned."

Unfortunately, the next time I was bullied, a few months later, Ro stepped in. He beat the bullies up, and it became a massive issue. The only reason that no severe action had been taken against him was because I'd started seeing a child counsellor due to the issues I'd faced at school. The school was afraid that my parents were going to sue the hell out of the school if Ro was punished for standing up for his brother.

My parents had always been firm pillars of support for us, but that incident further convinced me that they'd do anything and everything for us, even fight the world.

*

PRESENT

"I need help." I rested my head in my mother's lap. "I don't want to give up on life, Mama. Please help me." 

"Arsal..." She ran her fingers through my hair, gently.

"What's going on, Arsu?" Papa sat down on the other side.

It was just after Fajr, and we'd all just finished praying. I was ashamed to face my brave, strong Hira in this state, and so I'd come straight here to my parents.

"My mind hurts so, so much." I repeated my words. 

Mama began to massage my head. "Talk to us." 

And so I did. I told them about my determination to prove myself, about me being fired, about how I constantly felt pointless and useless.

"Oh, Arsu." Mama was in tears. "Your life is so, so precious. Don't ever think it's pointless or useless." She kissed my cheek. "We'll get you help, Arsu." 

"You don't need to prove anything to anyone, Arsalan." Papa gently patted the back of my head. "You are perfect as you are: a sweet, caring, empathetic, and intelligent guy. I know that losing your job is a devastating blow, but it's not the end of the world. You'll find something else, In Sha Allah, something better. This doesn't make you weak or useless."

Mama wrapped her arm around my waist. "You have us, you have such an amazing partner in the form of Tahira, Ma Sha Allah. You have your siblings, extended family, everyone. Everyone is with you, and nobody judges you, I can guarantee that." 

I felt the burden on my heart and mind considerably lighten as I sat between my parents. No matter how old you got, the comfort you got from your parents could not be found elsewhere.

Alhumdulillah for my parents. Even when I'm suffering, You've given me ease through them, Allah. I'm grateful for that.

*

I was in the kitchen the next morning, making coffee, when Yamna came up beside me. 

"Assalam Alaikum, Arsal Bhai."

"Walaikum Assalam." I smiled warmly at her.

"I've sent you a link. Check it."

I grabbed my phone from the counter, which had been on silent, and I saw the message from Yamna. "It's a job vacancy... at your company?" 

"You helped me once. I'm hoping that I can be of some help to you to." She spoke softly, almost shyly.

My heart warmed up. "Thank you, Yum-Yum. I appreciate that...and you know what? I will apply."

"Good. Your former company lost a diamond, and anyone else will be sensible and akalmand to have you." 

"You have a heart of gold, Yamna. If Rohaan ever troubles you, you tell me, okay?" I said. "I'll go straight to Papa and tell him." I knew very well that I'd get a butt-kicking myself if I confronted Ro.

"I'll take you up on that offer." She giggled. "But, we'll both go to Tayan together, so that we can both witness the consequences." 

I laughed. "Nice plan."

*

Yamna

I headed back upstairs to our room, where Rohaan stood by the window, chatting quietly on the phone. 

I walked over to Rabiya's cot and picked her up. "Hi, fairy. It's time for your meal." I kissed her cheek, breathing in her adorable baby scent. "I still can't believe that you're mine." Locking the door of our room, I headed to the bed, and lifted up my top, positioning Rabiya until she latched onto me. Hungrily, she started drinking.

After the call ended, Rohaan came and sat down beside me, stretching his legs out. "I have to get back to work." 

"Already?" 

"Yep... my paternity leave is already coming to an end." He sighed. "I don't want to get back, but..."

I feigned a shocked gasp. "My detective, who adores his work, doesn't want to go back?"

"I don't adore it more than Biya." He smiled adoringly at our daughter, before raising his gaze up to meet mine. "Or you."

My cheeks, as always, heated up. "Well... ask them for another month off."

He chuckled. "I wish, but it's not that simple. Beside... it'll be unpaid. We can't have that, can we?" 

"You're Rohaan Rehan Tariq. You don't need to worry about that." I'd meant that jokingly, but it seemed to have an impact on him.

He sat up straight, frowning slightly. "Why? I have to pay the bills like everyone else does."

"Rohaan, I didn't mean it in an offensive way, I..."

"Do you think I used my inheritance or my family money to pay for stuff?" He asked quietly.

"Actually..." I was ashamed to admit this. "I never thought about it."

"Ever since I started working, Yamna, I started contributing to bills, even when Papa insisted not to. And now that Mama and Papa have moved back here, Arsal and I had paid jointly for the bills. When Arsal left for Manchester, it was just me. And I used solely money from my own salary." 

I blinked. How had I not known that, or even considered that? "Rohaan, I honestly didn't mean it like that..."

He sighed, running a hand over his face. "I know, yaar. Sorry, I got a little defensive, but I don't want to be thought of that arrogant son of a rich father. I used to be like that when I was younger, but not anymore." 

"You're not arrogant, Rohaan. Nobody in the family ever was arrogant." I whispered. "And I never, ever considered you that, not even when you were younger."

"I was, Yamna. I thought I could get away with all kinds of sh*t because of my family money and name." 

"Or maybe, you had a sense of security that your family will always end up having your back, if you ever end up in trouble. And if you're wrong, they'll be there to guide you to the right part." 

"Are you my lawyer?" He gave me a small, fond smile.

"I know you, Rohaan." I said. "You have a great heart, and you always had a great heart. You acted like a meanie, but I can never forget how you, and Haya Appi, had my back whenever I got bullied. And a good heart can not harbour arrogance for too long."

"Wow, wise words." He kissed my shoulder.

"I wrote that in my essay in GCSE English, and my English teacher was so impressed."

"Yeah, I remember how excitedly you showed that paper to Papa." 

"Tayan has always encouraged my love of writing. Of course I'd show it to him first." I shook my head, before turning serious. "But seriously, Rohaan. I'm proud of you. You put your life at risk to provide for us."

"I put my life at risk because I enjoy the job." 

I rolled my eyes. "Ouch. She scratched me." I glanced down at Rabiya.

"You rolled your eyes at me. My Biya didn't like it." 

"Fine, no more milk then. Ask your Papa to feed you." I narrowed my eyes at my baby daughter.

"Hey. No child negligence, okay?" He feigned anger. "I will not tolerate that against my daughter."

"What negligence? All you have to do is feed her formula milk. She'll still be fed."

"She doesn't like formula milk."

"Well, then it's not child negligence. It's just her nakhra." 

"Hamster, don't say anything against my Chipmunk." 

"Or what?" I raised both eyebrows at him.

"I'll tell you when she's fed and safely out of the way." The mischievous look in his eyes made me bite my lower lip shyly.

"I'm not putting her down then."

"Are you seriously using our daughter as a shield?"

"Why would I need a shield against you, Detective? I fear no harm from you."

"Touché." He nodded.

Rabiya stopped drinking and I sat up a little so that she was resting against my stomach. Surprisingly enough, she curled up against me, as if it was such a wonderfully comfortable spot for her against my belly. "Almost as if she recognises her former home..." I whispered in awe.

Rohaan followed my gaze, reaching out to run his fingers gently over her head. "My little Chipmunk."

I handed her over carefully to him as I cleaned myself up and readjusted my clothes. He held her against his shoulder and soon we heard a tiny burp from her.

"What was that, Biya? Surely you, the daughter of Rohaan Rehan Tariq, can do better?" He grinned.

I shook my head, also smiling.

*

Rohaan

FLASHBACK

"I told you not to let him buy the Xbox." Mama looked at Papa accusingly. "Look at his results."

"To be fair, I got the same type of results even before I got the Xbox." I blurted out cheekily, but my humour vanished when my mother glared at me.

"Rohaan, I'm not in the mood for jokes right now." Mama snapped.

"You never are." Oops. Those words had slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "Sorry."

"This is disappointing, Rohaan." Papa said. "I convinced your mother to allow you to get the Xbox, with a guarantee from you that you'll bring your grades up."

"I tried my best, Papa." 

"Your best? You call this your best?" Mama shook her head. "You barely passed Science and Maths, and your English result is horrific." 

"I got an A in PE. Nobody, and I mean, nobody else got an A, or even a B in PE."

"Rohaan, when will you learn how to be more serious?" Mama looked exhausted now. 

"Mama, my inheritance is my safety net, even if I get nowhere in life." I shrugged.

"Rohaan, money is temporary and never guaranteed." Papa said. "You need to learn how to be more responsible." 

"You are going to attend the booster classes." Mama decided. "And if you refuse, I will not allow you to continue playing on the football team."

"Mama..."

"And if I don't see an improvement in your results, I will be confiscating the Xbox and the PlayStation." She added.

"I'm not as academically smart as Hoor or Arsal, and I cannot get away with decent marks with minimal effort, like Haya. It takes me serious effort to learn and understand these things, and I don't have the patience for that." I allowed myself to display a tiny bit of my vulnerability in front of them. 

"Rohaan, go to the booster classes as your mother said. See if it makes a difference." Papa spoke in a softer tone now. 

"And if it doesn't? Will I be the black sheep that you two will always be embarrassed of?" 

"Rohaan..."

"I'm going to play football. I'm allowed to now that school's over, right?" I asked sarcastically as I headed out of the house.

The football field was the only place where I felt accepted; where I felt like I could be the best. I never admitted it out loud, but I felt stupid sometimes; like genuinely, brainless. How could I have been born in such an academic family, and still be so dumb?

I was in the garden, kicking the ball around by myself, when I heard footsteps. I looked up and saw Papa walking towards me. "Yeah, I know. I'm rude, as usual. I'm sorry. As usual, Rohaan is insolent, and has no manners."

He walked up to me, casually placing his arm around my shoulders. "Ro, academics aren't everything, no doubt. All we're asking is that you put in a little more effort with studying. Spend less time on the video games, and put more time on your studies. If we see that effort, even if the results are not... satisfactory, we'd know that at least you tried."

"I want to play football, Papa. I don't need a degree for that."

"Rohaan, in life we can't always follow the path that we want. Sometimes our need, our necessities are much bigger than what we want, and in such circumstances, we have to chose a different path to that what we'd once planned." He said. "We need to be prepared to take these alternative paths, Rohaan. Even if you want to play football, fine. Just continue your studies... just as a back-up, if nothing else."

I stared silently at the football for a while, before looking up at him. "Are you and Mama embarrassed of me?" 

"When you burp in public places, yes. Academically? No." He patted my head. "We just want the best for you, the way we do when it comes to your siblings."

I grinned despite myself. "I still remember the time when I was asked to participate in the school assembly on the Open Day, when you and Mama were also attending. My friends challenged me to burp into the microphone, and I did. What a moment of pride for me."

"I blame Saim for the way you turned out." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Why? You must have been cheeky at one point in your life. You can't always have been Mr. Responsible, the perfect gentlemen with manners."

"And...this is where this conversation ends." He turned to walk away.

"Tell me one cheeky thing that you ever did, and I will not play a video game the whole weekend!" I chased him.

"Not in my lifetime."

"What, you never did anything cheeky in your lifetime, or you won't tell me in your lifetime?"

"Keep guessing."

"Boring."

He just laughed as he entered the house.

*

PRESENT

"Who's that?" I leaned closer to the screen.

"I don't know. Our CCTV camera caught this man just lingering outside our house." Hoor sighed, putting her hand on her hips. "Recently, there have been two different burglaries in our area. I'm scared. Farhaan is worried too, since he's working late these days, or often out of town." 

"You seen him on the CCTV footage before today?" I looked at her.

She shook her head. "But he seems to be just standing there, staring up at the house."

"Kutta jeya. Targeted the wrong house." I muttered, zooming in. 

*"That dog."

I turned my head slightly and saw Hoor staring at me. "What?" 

She patted my back. "I'm looking at how much you've grown up, Ro, Ma Sha Allah. Now you seem more like my big brother than my younger one."

"Don't get all sentimental on me, Hoor. I'm just doing my job." 

She rolled her eyes. "Why can't you just admit how much you love us all?"

"I'd rather eat my shoe for every meal for the next five years." 

"Mamu!" Ali came into the room. "Are we in danger?" 

"No, honey, of course..." Hoor began.

"The one who tried to mess with you all is in danger, buddy. Not you guys." I ruffled his hair. "I'm here, so you don't need to worry."

Farhaan Bhai came back. "I spoke to the neighbours, everyone is alert now." 

"You need to stay out of danger." I told my sister. "I won't always be around to take care of criminal crap for you, you know."

"Shut up! May Allah bless you with a long and healthy life. Ameen." She lightly slapped my arm.

"He meant he's going to move cities so that he doesn't have to solve the family's criminal crisis." Farhaan Bhai teased, patting my shoulder. 

"Exactly. Hoor is just filmy." I said. "Listen, I will speak to someone at your local police station. I know a guy here. He'll keep an eye on things."

"You know someone everywhere." Hoor muttered.

"That's because he's a superhero!" Ali said, proudly.

"I'll head out now." I shook hands with Farhaan Bhai. "Let me know if you need anything. I'm even up at nights, thanks to Biya."

"Welcome to parenting." My brother-in-law pulled me into a hug.

"How's Biya?" Ali asked me suddenly.

"Biya is very well, Alhumdulillah. She can't wait for all her cousins to gather together. She loves that." I smiled down at him.

The sound of Annie crying came from her nursery.

"Let me go see her before I go." I headed towards the nursery, followed by my sister.

Lifting my baby niece from the cot, I kissed her cheek. "Hey, beautiful. How was your nap?" 

She yawned and then smiled as she saw me, lovingly patting my cheeks.

"My love." I kissed her forehead. "I hope Mama takes good care of you. If she doesn't, I know all the secret ways to annoy her. Say the word, and I'll help you."

"Ro?" 

"Hmm?" I looked at my sister.

"I really am proud of you. You always underestimated yourself, but Ma Sha Allah, look where you are today." 

I scoffed. "I never underestimated myself."

"Ro, I'm your sister. I know you." 

"You know what's important for me, Hoor? That the people who mattered didn't underestimate me." I looked at Annie fondly. "I hope we raise our children in the same way, where we always guide them to a path that's the best for them, without discouraging them from doing what they want to do in life."

"In Sha Allah." She said. "Anyway, give up the idea of leaving now. I have some homemade kebabs that I had frozen, and I'm going to fry them for you, along with a chilli sauce as hot as you like it."

"Do you stock your home with food that your siblings love?" 

"Absolutely."

"You're definitely Anabia Junior, Hoor. Teach Behaya something."

She laughed. "God, Ro. You just cannot help yourself, can you? You have to drag poor Haya into everything."

"Haya is not poor." 

"What did she even do to you?"

"She exists."

We both laughed and bantered, and I carried Annie downstairs as we joined Ali and Farhaan Bhai downstairs.

"Ali, Mamu's staying for a bit." Hoor announced to her son.

"YESSSSSSSSSSS!" My excited nephew shouted. "Mamu, let's play football for a while."

"Absolutely not." Farhaan Bhai said, firmly. "Go and study."

"But, Papa..."

"I let you play video games for an extra fifteen minutes, now you listen to me." My brother-in-law told his son firmly.

"Circle of life." I whispered out the words.

Hoor smiled at me. "I was just thinking the same thing. This reminds me of the repeated situations with you and Papa." 

I now truly appreciated my parents for never giving up on me. 

*

A sweet, emotional chapter mainly focusing on the Rehan boys.

Whereas both are completely different, both had their own struggles, but with family support, both came out stronger than ever.

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