"I can't believe you fell on your ass." Bon snickered, covering his mouth so he wouldn't lose his mouthful of food. Shima looked embarrassed, and I didn't blame him. This event must have occurred while Izumo and I were dancing, because I definitely would have remembered it if I had been present.

Shima poked his chopsticks at a tofu block, averting his gaze. "There was punch on the floor." Although it was funny to see him so worked up, I did feel bad for him. He was wearing his suit jacket around his waist, covering the red stain on his gray pants. Shiemi nudged him and gave him a small smile, telling him it was okay and to just laugh it off.

I turned my attention to the rest of the group and the delicious meal in front of us. We were in a corner booth. With there being eight of us, and not having a prior reservation, we had waited over forty-five minutes to be seated. That was on us for poor planning, however. There was school event, and everyone was going out to eat at this time. We were lucky to be sat as soon as we were. Not that it mattered too much to us, we had chattered and laughed most of the time. I reached toward the center of the table, snagging a piece of meat and dunking into my bowl of broth for only a few moments before shoving the whole thing into my mouth. I hummed in delight, chewing on the meat as my eyes wandered the table.

Yukio and I had taken to edges of the booth, both of us preferring not to be squished between bodies. Izumo was next to me, with Shiemi and Shima next to her. Bon and Koneko were on the opposite side of the table by Yukio, and Shura was almost exactly in the middle of us all. I'd have to thank her later for dinner, I knew this type of restaurant wasn't cheap. I grabbed a bundle of mushrooms and dipping them in my broth before slurping them into my mouth. I had cleared a decent amount in the last several minutes, and my stomach was starting to protest. However, I wasn't going to let it ruin my night.

I turned to look over Izumo's head, addressing the blonde and pink-haired classmates. "So how's the honeymoon phase? You guys starting to hate each other yet?" I laughed at my own joke, wiping a napkin against my chin to clean some spilled broth.

Shima snorted and rolled his eyes. "We never fight, and I don't think we ever will. I could never stay mad at Moriyama-san, just look at her," he gestured to the blushing blonde next to him. "How could you stay mad at that?"

Shura scoffed, snapping her chopsticks above her bowl and giving the teen a sideways glance. "Oh, god. I forgot how naïve teenagers were with love."

Shima didn't let it bother him, simply waving her away. He turned his eyes back to me before moving over to look at Yukio. "Speaking of arguments, you two seem to be back on good terms. What was that about?"

My twin shot me a glace and I saw that he was just as uncomfortable as I was. He cleared his throat and toyed with his food. "It's a little personal..."

"Oh, sorry." Embarrassed by his actions, my classmate quickly turned to strike up a conversation with Koneko, his words sounding forced. I watched as he tried to dig himself out of the guilt he felt, scratching at the back of his head. Next to him, Shura pulled out her phone and started typing away. Not long after she set the electronic down, I saw Yukio pull out his own phone. He sighed, casting a wayward glance at her before texting back. I chewed on my lip, feeling a bit of anxiety bloom in my chest. Things were going so well, why did Shima have to open his mouth? Not that I could be too angry, he couldn't possibly know how intimate our fight had been. Yukio seemed resigned to his fate, answering my mentors multiple messages with a frown on his face.

I turned back to my bowl, suddenly not very hungry anymore. I could taste the food in the back on my throat, and a wave of nausea swept through me. I reached up and pulled at my tie, loosening it from my neck. Izumo looked at me out of the corner of her eye and I sighed. "It's hot in here."

Shima paused his conversation and turned to me briefly, "just take off your jacket, man. Trust me, I can feel the heat too, but it's not that bad with just the shirt."

...

"Idiot," Izumo hissed. Immediately afterward, Shiemi pushed her elbow into her partner's side, an incredulous look on her face.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Rin. I didn't mean it like that, I guess I kinda forgot." His apology was genuine, and I could see his earlier shame come back exponentially.

I shrugged my shoulders, swallowing the lump in my throat. "It's fine, I'm glad it's not the first thing you think of." The table was excruciatingly quiet and I moved to stand. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom to cool off. I'll be right back." As I walked away, I heard a smack and a yelp as Izumo started cursing out Shima. His fervent apologies faded away as I neared the restroom. I shoved open the door, becoming dismayed at the sea of stalls before me. I preferred having private toilets, that way I didn't have to worry about being quiet, but it's not like I had much of a choice.

I walked to the farthest stall and latched the door behind me. I was thankful for the prestige of the restaurant because that meant the bathrooms were better maintained. I dropped down to my knees in front of the porcelain and stuck my fingers in my mouth. Almost immediately, my body convulsed and I threw myself over the bowl. I'd adjusted to this habit, being able to purge with less of a struggle. That is exactly the opposite of what I wanted, though. I wanted my heart to pound, to break out into a sweat. I wanted my stomach to lurch and ache as I violently expelled my meals. I wanted to suffer, that was the whole point of doing this. Unfortunately, it seems my second coping skill would die out a lot quicker than the first. God, I craved the feeling of a blade. No matter how many times I would carve my skin, the pain was still the same. No amount of preparation or adjustment could lessen that agony.

I dug my fingers into the back of my throat again, and a strangled gag erupted off of the tiled walls around me. I yanked my fingers away just in time to expel the last of my dinner. Just so I could cling onto this a little bit longer, I repeated the process once more time. I only succeeded in dry heaving, however.

I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet. When I exited the stall, the bathroom door pushed open and two other guys started to walk inside. They didn't pay much attention to me, walking over to the urinals to do their business. I turned on the tap and glanced at my face in the mirror. My eyes were a little watery and my face was slightly flushed. Nothing that a few moments of peace wouldn't fix, though. I washed my hands and brought my damp palms to my cheeks, letting the coolness of the water soothe my reddened skin.

Once I was comfortable enough, I dried my hands and exited the room. I made my way back over to the table, slightly relieved to hear laughter. I gave a small smile as I returned to my seat. A few of my classmates acknowledge my presence before giving their full attention back to Suguro, who was engrossed in story-telling. I grabbed my water glass and started to sip at it. I was done eating, and while I was upset that I hadn't been able to fully enjoy the dinner, it had been nice while it lasted.

I listened intently as Bon rattled on about some funny gossip that had happened in his class. Koneko was laughing particularly hard, stating that he was there when it happened. I chuckled along with them, their laughter a bit contagious. My eyes shifted and I saw that Yukio wasn't paying attention. His brows were furrowed and he looked perplexed. I followed his line of sight, realizing he was staring at my hand. There were some blemishes above my first two fingers, close to the knuckles. They were marks from where my teeth had scraped my skin repeatedly. I saw his eyes move up to look at my face and I did my best to put forward a front. My own brows furrowed and I brought my hand closer to my face, acting as though it were the first time I'd seen them. I gave another look at my brother and shrugged, doing my best to portray that I didn't know and wasn't bothered by it. He assessed me for awhile before giving me a singular slow nod and turning back to the conversation.

My body deflated slightly, and I realized I had been tensing. I tried to quell my anxiety, grabbing my chopsticks and toying with my food, making it seem like I was still picking at it. After several minutes, Izumo turned to me, tilting her head to the side. "What's wrong? You haven't eaten anything in awhile."

Smiling sheepishly, I dropped my chopsticks, having been caught. "I'm already full, I ate so much earlier that I can't fit any more." She seemed satisfied with my answer, turning back to our group just as Shura started to speak.

"Everyone ready to go? It's getting late, and I'm sure you guys wanna get out of those uncomfortable clothes." We all agreed and started to shuffle out of the booth. We all started walking toward the exit, discussing what our plans were for the weekend. I stayed silent, not really making any plans. I probably should have, though. I wasn't sure if the Grigori would hunt me down on the exact date of six months, so this may or may not be my last weekend on Earth. A rock settled in my stomach as I regretted my poor planning.

We all walked in a small group on the sidewalk. Shiemi and Shima were ahead of Izumo and I, with Shura and Yukio behind us. I hadn't checked, but I was sure Bon and Koneko where at the back, probably talking amongst themselves. Izumo asked me about my night and I smiled as I responded, telling her I was happy for the memory.

Suddenly, I was being restrained. I yelped in surprise and fought against my bonds. "Something is wrong," Yukio muttered into my ear. His arms were wrapped around me, pinning my elbows to my sides. I wiggled against him, but he didn't release his grasp. The other's quickly realized the change of events and questioned my twin. "I knew you were recovering too quickly. It doesn't make any sense to for you to drop such a habit without relapsing or turning to something else."

"Yukio, what the hell are you doing?" Shura snapped at him and tried to pry his arms off of me. Worried fuchsia eyes flashed between my brother and I, and I had a sinking feeling that I was about to be exposed. I chewed on my bottom lip and raised my foot to kick him in the shin. He grunted, but that was his only reaction.

"Trust me on this," he barked back at her. "He's doing it again, pretending that he is fine when he isn't." His voice came closer to my ear, and while the volume remained the same, I knew he was addressing me solely. "You quit harming yourself, cold turkey, and you haven't shown any signs of relapsing. But you're so set in your ways that it would be a goddamn miracle if that were true. You've had to have found a different method. Something that didn't leave physical marks." My heart crawled up into my throat and my breathing hitched. "Those marks on your fingers, I know what they are from."

My eyes widened and I kicked at him more intensely. "Let me go!" I struggled against his hold, but I couldn't even bring my arms up to defend myself. He was preventing any chance for me to escape. My stomach twisted and I swallowed audibly.

He squeezed me tighter, lifting me momentarily before setting me back down. Disappointment laced the following sigh that brushed past my ear. "Remember when Izumo and I helped you a few days ago? You were trying to fight me off, but I was able to notice just how much lighter you were. And you were sick not that long ago, But that wasn't food poisoning, was it?" My fingers moved to dig into his arms, but the odd angle left me with little opportunity. "Also, during our last mission, you passed out. All of it could be explained away after some convincing, but now that the puzzle pieces are lining up, there isn't a single doubt in my mind."

"Yukio! Would you care to explain yourself?'" Shura ground out, marching up to stand in front of me and glare at my brother. "What do you know, and why do you have to hold him hostage?"

He hummed and shifted, releasing one of his arms and moving up to grab my chin. This allowed one of my arms to be freed and I immediately went to elbow him in the ribs. He sputtered for a moment, but Shura grabbed my arm before I could repeat the action. She scolded me and said she'd handle it. However, I doubted she could, Yukio was a man on a mission. The fingers on my chin inched upward and he used his nail to dig into the tender flesh of my lips. I grimaced in pain, and he used that as an opportunity to pry my jaw open, his fingers going between my teeth. But I bit down before he could go any farther.

He grunted in pain and I garbled out a plea. It was pathetic, I sounded so desperate, so helpless to the situation. Shura tangled her fingers in my hair and pulled my head back, forcing me to loosen my grip on the digits between my teeth. "Yukio," she warned. "Start explaining yourself, or I'll be tempted to let him amputate your fingers."

He sighed, "think about it. And I mean it, think really fucking hard. He hasn't cut himself once. He's lost a lot of weight, and even passed out right in front of us. That should be concerning enough. Yet, you saw him, he ate today. He seems to have a normal appetite from what he's shown us. Think Shura, how could someone lose weight in this type of situation?"

She was silent for a few seconds and I moved my eyes up to hers. I begged her - both with my expression and through the fingers in my mouth - not to believe him. However, her eyes slowly shifted, realization dawning inside. "You're purging?" She whispered it, but the words were like lightning bolts in my chest. My head snapped back, knocking Yukio square in the nose. His damned hand remained firm against my chin, however, and my cry for release was muffled. He groaned in pain and my mentor used both of her hand's to keep me still. My fingers dug into my twins palm, frantically clawing at the appendage to remove it.

"Hold him," Yukio ground out. "I need to prove something."

"You don't think I'm trying?!" Shura hissed, her fingers tightening in my hair in response. Helplessness flooded my veins and my heart slammed against my ribcage as anxiety chewed at my soul.

He wiggled his fingers and they crawled further back, and a familiar sensation washed over me. This was such a violation, and my skin crawled at the intrusion. I held back the urge to gag, screaming at them to let me go. My feet kicked in all directions, landing a few shots on both my sibling and mentor. My pleas were ignored, however, and I soon found myself gagging again. I swallowed as best as I could, doing my best to not vomit. Yukio implored me to drop the facade. He knew his suspicions were correct. That he'd been tricked once before and he wouldn't be fooled again. His fingers jammed farther back and I coughed, my stomach lurching and I felt bile in my throat. I held my breath, closing my windpipe to stop it from going any further. My classmates were starting to doubt the sanity of my captures, and I just barely heard footsteps over my roaring heartbeat. Bon demanded that they let me go, but his order fell on deaf ears.

Fingers moved again, and despite my efforts, my body reacted accordingly. A gargled sound escaped my throat and I gagged forcefully. My bonds were released and I fell the the ground, choking on my saliva and being thrown into another round of dry heaving. My sinuses burned as bile exited my nose, the sour taste causing me to gag once more, but nothing else came forth.

"What the hell was that for?" Bon snapped after I started to regain my breath. My arms wobbled as I tried to hold myself up and I felt tears sting in my eyes. Not this shit again. Just when I thought I'd gained just a little bit of control, they were snatching it away from me. This goddamn habit wasn't even as effective as the last, but it was the only thing I had left.

"He's been throwing up as a way to cope." Yukio stated bluntly. "We all saw him eat, and If I had been wrong about my assumption, he would've just thrown up his dinner." He sighed, and I felt his presence behind me. "We're getting you help. Tonight."

My heart skipped a beat, a chill ripping through my body and I reacted impulsively. I shot up, staggering away from my teal-eyed sibling. "No," I warned, stumbling back several more feet as he and Shura tried to close the distance. "I don't want help."

I turned on my heels and started sprinting away. My classmates hollered behind me as my feet thudded against the pavement. I could hear their own footsteps as the chased after me, but thankfully, I would eventually be able to out-run them.

No.

This ends, tonight.