It was bright in the morning, the right side of my bed is warm and soft, It's almost like I wanna sleep in forever, but I can't...Today is Sunday and my aunt and uncle will take me to the cemetery to visit my Mom and Dad. I get out of my bed with very sleepy eyes as I wobble around to my bathroom, I avoid looking at the mirror, not because I think I look like a wreck but because my face reminds me of my Mom.....fuck...

I hate it, I just hate it....Every morning I wake up like this and every morning it hurts. I just can't get over the fact that if they just listened to me then they would still be here..

I was 7 at the time and I kept begging them to not bring liqour to their date, Yes, As a kid I already knew what liqour is and what my dad calls "Bad Juices". I kept crying and wailing, Although I couldn't remember much because I was 7 years old, and it's been 7 years since that happened. But anyway, My mom convinced me that my dad was execellent at driving and it's her that will drink the most...But I still don't believe it.

Now, I wouldn't call my parents 'Alcoholics', but once they were able to get a hold of a bottle in parties or celebrations, there's no turning back until the night is over..

Mom and Dad decided to leave around 10:00 pm and said they'll be back in around an hour or 2, I was scared, really scared as they kissed my forehead goodbye and tucked me in.

I didn't sleep at all, I decided to play with my toys for a while to keep me distracted. Then around 11:34 pm, I heard it, I heard our doorbell ring.

I rushed down the stairs and opened the front door, I was excited as first until I realized that it wasn't my parents who had been ringing it, it was a police officer..

"Uhmm Ma'am, where are your guardians?" He asked

"I don't have other guardians, my parents are out on a date and-" I answered but he cut me off

"Wait..You're saying you live alone with your parents? Oh God how am I gonna ......"
He said as he started murmuring the last part, I didn't completely hear it though.

Then, he took out his phone and asked me if I have other relatives, I said I had my aunt and uncle.

I then showed him their number as my parents left a card with their numbers in it incase of emergencies...turns out it ended up being very useful..

He called them and told them about the recent news...I heard it loud and clear...then...

My reaction....was history.

I can't even continue anymore, i'm not a tough person emotionally and mentally and remembering such events could trigger me...I don't know how..but it just....does.

I head down to meet with my Aunt and Uncle, my Aunt had already prepared breakfast for me, as she always does. I gotta admit her meals are delicious!

And my uncle, sitting beside me, made me coffee, I mean I could have made it myself but I couldn't reject it either, My Uncle can be a bit too kind sometimes..I remember whenever we go out to places, he would always give everything he has in his wallet to beggars on the street, which is why right now, he's in the middle of looking for a job, So that he can get money and give more money..

"Sooo...Stella, Since...Almost every Sunday you seem to be in a gloomy mood whenever we visit your parents, I suggest we change some plans" My Aunt says.

I was in a little shock.....Seriously? I mean yeah sure it is true that my mood isn't getting better every Sunday but that doesn't mean I can't visit my parents anymore because of it.

"What? But we need to mourn for them, We can't leave those grave stones un attended!" I say, my voice was low but in the right time, I would raise it.

"Yes..But we've been 'mourning' for 7 years dear, and your parents probably wouldn't want to be interrupted now..and besides, me and your uncle have moved on, didn't you?"
My aunt responded.

"Nana, among all three of us, i'm the one affected most! I was seven when they died and it was halfly my fault that they crashed!" I said, my voice beggining to raise a little.

My aunt sighed and shared looks with my Uncle for a moment, he turned to me next.

"Kid...you have to let go, Many people go through the same thing you know, losing their parents, their loved ones.......it isn't rare for it to happen, and literally many people move on from it too. Hell, most people lost their loved ones much earlier then you do, and yet they were able to let go, and you?"
My uncle said in a calm voice..

As much as I wanted to argue, I couldn't..so I just stayed put and ate my breakfast.
"So, where are we going?"

My Aunt turned to me and was probably relaxed now after what I said to her earlier
"Since...it's about to be the beggining of the school year, I was thinking..of bringing you along to the new school in town!"

"Evergreen Fields University?"
I asked as I raised an eyebrow

Evergreen Fields is the new school in the city, I mean, not really though, since it was built probably 2 years ago, but it's walls are so white and clean it looked like it was freshly built or painted every day, And it's roof looks like it never gets shit on by pigeons or other kinds of stuff...But that doesn't mean it's my ideal school, when you pass by the gate all you can hear are children laughing and playing and are just plain noisy, God!

One time, I walked pass by it's gate again and it was the worst possible time, it was probably everyone's recess and it was crazier than ever, I don't know where the hell the teachers were but that could have been the best time to be on watch on those kids, the students were playing roughly on the fields and the play ground to the point where I think it almost broke down. Students fighting and all you can hear are the screams of wild children.

"Yep! I decided to take you there since..well, to state the obvious you need to attend a school, and second, they say the children there are wild and fun to hang out with"
My aunt explains.

Pff! Yeah, as if i'd go near any of those animals...

"But...I thought i'll just be homeschooled..."
I say, yes..Every year ever since mom and dad disapeared, My Uncle would just homeschool me instead..kind of obvious why I never tried to enroll to other schools.

"Sorry Stella but your uncle still needs to look for a job, and I can't teach you here and work around the house and the same time, and besides, You need to socialize more, I bet it will help with what you're going through, your parents would want that for you anyway.."
My Aunt says as she placed a hand on my shoulder across the table

I sighed, Since she is right though, I need to study and my uncle can't be my teacher anymore since he needs a job, well...For those who are wondering, my uncle didn't have a job before..it was my dad who send him money, He saved it until they died, he spent half of the savings on us and half to give to beggars outside..and my aunt did have a job too..But she got fired..sadly..

"Fine...ok, we can go there, but I need to finish my breakfast first."
I said

"Good! We'll get ready and leave by 9:00am!"
My Aunt said excitedly.

I'm super nervous to know what waits for me in that school, it's wild yes, but I don't know about the teachers..I have a feeling they are much, MUCH worse than the students since...well.....you know, they are almost never there, atleast, from what I've seen...But I'll still give it a shot, not for me and not for my Uncle and aunt, But for my parents..since it's what they would want for me, Atleast that's what Nana told me..

We are about to arrive in the school and i'm super nervous....It's been a long time since I last went to school..And I completely forgot how happy or mad or sad or scared I was in those moments before...But I'll try to stay as positive as I can

Then when we stepped into the gates, I'm honestly surprised..No students, No noise..it's actually very peaceful, the Grass infront of the school is really green, there are beautiful trees, and I can see the play ground I remembered was almost broken.

Then it hit me; It's almost the end of summer break, of course nobody's here, not until the 1st day of school, and trust me, it won't be good once that 1st day begins
I thought to myself, like trying to talk to my mind.

Then, we enter the school itself..and My God was it bigger than what it looks like outside.

Okay, I guess this school caught my attention..But only for a moment. Because as soon as the school year starts, the peace in this school will shatter..

We meet with a guard that guides us to an area in the cafeteria where there are other students who will probably be enrolled too.

We sit on one of the chairs of the cafeteria's tables, and right there, were more Kids like me...I felt uncomfortable, so I leaned closer to Nana..

"Nana...Can I go to a bathroom?"
I whispered

"Why? You're not feeling so good?"
She whispers back

"I guess...."
I respond. To be honest, I just wanna go to a bathroom to spend some alone time...I don't really want to go near any of them...

I stand up and ask a guard to guide me to a bathroom..Strange how I feel weird around students my age but not the police or any guards who are much older than me...Probably because a Police man used to be involved with...well....

Anyways, as I enter...I notice there is also another person here...Shit, going here was a bad move, there is someone here too! I try to rush out but this time, nature really calls, so I had to go to a toilet

I went into one that was 4 more toilets far ahead of the stall the other person is in, hoping that it wouldn't cause much trouble.

When I was done, I tried to rush out again until I heard the person speak
"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Oh no...I think to myself You really screwed up this time!

Screwed up?!? How??
I Don't know but this is still on you!
Whatever, let's just get this over with!

I answer but in a low voice, trying to avoid actual contact or a conversation
"Y-yes...Someone's in here"

"Can you.....hand me some tissues?? Please?"
The person said

Tissues?? What for? Can't he just get it himself??
Speaking of which, why the hell is he here?? He's a boy in a girl's bathroom!

But...I reach for it anyway since those questions are nothing of my buisness
"Okay, Here."

I hand it to him as he Barely opens the door. He takes it and after a few minutes of wiping, he gives it back
"Thanks! Uhh my Name is Bruce by the way!"

He comes out of the bathroom and reaches his hand out. Well shit, this is the worst part, if I just left and pissed somewhere else, this wouldn't happen.

"Your welcome! Mine is......Stella.."
I reach out my hand aswell to slowly....slowly shake his....hand

Okay...things are going well so far.....I didn't expect to meet someone before the first day. But I'll make sure this conversation doesn't last long..

"Oh uhh I gotta go, My aunt's probably waiting for me and...I don't wanna take too much of my time!"
I say akwardly as I left the bathroom almost immidiately.

I quickly run back to the cafeteria while thinking to myself;
Akkward..

I kept thinking about his reaction to what I just did, I shook his hand and ran out almost immidiately probably leaving him with a bad impression of me..But..I did say goodbye, and that's better than saying nothing at all right??

I arrive back and was relieved to see my aunt still waiting.

I sat down beside her and asked
"Have they called us in yet?"

She shakes her head.

I sighed...Not knowing that this day is about to get worse..

Then we heard the announcer:
"OK NEXT BATCH, PLEASE SEND YOUR CHILDREN INSIDE THE OFFICE, I REPEAT, PLEASE SEND YOUR CHILDREN INSIDE THE OFFICE, ALSO ONE KID PER PARENT INSIDE PLEASE! WE ONLY HAVE LITTLE SPACE INSIDE AND IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM IF YOU HAVE TWO OR MORE CHILDREN ENROLLING, YOUR SEX IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITIES AND TRUST ME IF THE CONDOM BROKE, THERE'S NO TURNING BACK!"

Geez, he didn't need to be so grumpy about it..

Wait, just the children inside? Oh dear..I wanna go home now....I wanna go back to my nice warm room, but instead i'm here in what I see is a Paradise that'll turn into a jungle once it's school season...

As I enter, I'm immidiately called in...I froze for a moment, I wasn't ready for this.....But, i'm doing this for my parents, not for myself....Well, I mean, halfly myself because of course, I don't wanna end up in the streets do I?

I began to walk inside the teachers' lounge, and there, I saw a lot of teachers, welcoming me, and telling me to take a seat on the front desk, the principal was there and he told me if he could ask some questions.

I slightly nodded, I sat down in an akward position, just waiting for him to get this over with, and just send me to school on the 1st day, but that's not how you get enrolled....atleast, not how things work in this school.

"Okay....Please, tell me your name and my supervisor will write down the information" The principal said.

Hmmm how do I begin? Shouldn't I be relaxed that he just asked for my name?? But he said his supervisor will jot down notes, does that mean there will be more questions??

I shouldn't be thinking like this but I am....so instead of a calm, and quick meeting, It goes hay wire

"Uuh- My-my name is......Stella, S-Stella Nigel."
I stutter and whisper at the same time.

"Uh-huh, okay.....Stella....Nigel...Emily can you please write that down"
The principal said as he too was writing my name on a piece of paper infont of him, I don't know what it is and I certainly don't care.

"Okay Stella, can you please tell me why you need to go to this school?"
The principal asked

Seriously?? Isn't it obvious??

Instead of verbally answering, I show him my wallet, empty, I shook it a couple of times....At first, he didn't get it, but I guess after a few minutes of charades, he finally get what i'm trying to say in my mind..

I need to graduate for money in my future....

He then asked his supervisor to jot down more notes, I can tell this school isn't gonna end with me being a top student.

"Uhh Okay, Stella, you can go out now, the rest shall be taken care of by us and your guardian, who is your guardian anyway?? Do you have your mom or your dad with you?"
The Principal asked again

Bitch I-
He mentioned my parents! I started to shake for a few minutes, I know it isn't his fault that he doesn't know but still-

I begin to snap back to reality
"Huh? What? Oh- I....I have my aunt with me"

"Oh good! Just get her over here please.."

"Okay..."
I said as I walked out the office and told me Nana that she's being called inside, I told her everything and she told me that I can go home now, our house isn't actually far from here, just a few steps until you reach my neighbourhood. Also one of the reasons why this school is chosen for me...

I'm kinda nervous upon what is to come, but..no matter, it will all get better once school officially startd right?? Probably not...but I know who I'm doing this for.