Author's Note: The video above is and the words below with the warning are a spoiler for The 100, Season 2x16.

Clary

I'm getting out today. It's been three days (her admittance on Tuesday night to Saturday morning), but the doctors are confident that I'm well enough to go home. Everyday after school Jace has come to see me. Yesterday, he even brought Willow. It was hilarious. Jace was worried about her getting sick, so he made her wear a baby mask. He also washed their hands upon entering and when the left. Willow got onto the bed with me while Jace sat in a chair. Willow and I played for about an hour. Jace caught me up on some of the things I was missing in school. Not the Chemistry, Algebra, or English, but more about US History or something funny that happened at lunch. With my concussion, the doctor doesn't want me to strain my brain. It was really fun, but as all good things, it had to come to an end. Jace had to get Willow some dinner, so he left at 5P.M. I just ate some hospital food and then went to bed.

Now, it's Saturday morning. Jace said he will be here to pick me up at 11:00A.M. for the doctors are discharging me at 10:30A.M. It's currently 9:00A.M. I decide to watch some reruns of The 100. It's one of my favorite TV shows.

*Spoiler starts*

It's the one where Bellamy and Clarke have just killed all of the Mountain Men. Clarke had to pull the lever that killed them to save her people. Bellamy and her are walking back into camp. Clarke can't pass the threshold. Bellamy stops and asks what's wrong. She's like, I can't do it. He's like, You need forgivenes. I forgive you now please come inside. She's like, I just killed a bunch of people. He's like, we did it to save them. Please come inside the camp. She's like take care of them for me. I bear it, so they don't have to. Then they hug and she walks away. May we meet again. (Video above)

*Spoiler over*

I hear a knock in the door. "Come in," I reply.

"Clary it's Dr. Jones. I'm here to check in one last time before we discharge you," Dr. Jones explains. He walks towards me and does a brief examination. "Everything looks like it's healing nicely. Now, school should be put off for at least a week. You can go home as soon as your rides here. I'll have the nurse give you all of the papers." He leaves with a smile on his face. Yayah! I can go home!

Someone knocks a few minutes later. "Ms. Fray, I have your papers," a nurse says. She hands me my papers. "I hope you feel better soon." Then, she too walks out. From a glance at my clock, it's 10:48A.M. and Jace should be here soon. I go to get dressed in my real clothes. My mom brought be an outfit yesterday, so I didn't have to wear the same clothes I came in.

I walk into the bathroom and try to freshen up a bit. The hospital provided toothpaste, a toothbrush, and a hair brush. The brush will only make my hair worse, so I put it in a messy bun. I hear a noise in my room and grab the spit pan. Who's here? Is it another one it Jonathan's admirers? They won't get me without a fight this time! As I inch closer to the door, I get ready to attack. I turn the corner and hit the person over the head with the spit pan.

"Ouch," the voice says. I turn and see who I hit. Crap! It's Jace! No! I just hit him! Crap!

"Jace, I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to hit you. I...didn't know.....who you were, and I was scared," I explain.

"Clary really I'm okay. I'm sorry I should've announced my arrival," Jace responds. "My mom is being an angel and watching Willow for me. I did all of my homework last night, so we could be something today. What do you want to do?"

He wants to spend all day with me? Lots of things can happen in a day! Maybe it'll be okay. But....what if I can't stop thinking about......Jonathan....and Sebastian? "Well I was planning on you dropping me off at home, so I could take a long bath and relax," I begin. "But....I guess we could" Think! What could you do? No intimacy yet! I'm not ready! "....put a puzzle together or something." A puzzle! A freaking puzzle! Seriously! Pull it together Clary! You know what he wants to do? But.....am I ready? I....I can't be intimate with him.....not yet. I...it's different when we hug or when he held me on the hospital bed. Am I ready to spend intimate alone time with him?

"Puzzle? How about we go back to your house, then you take a shower, and then we can figure out what to do after that," Jace suggests. What do we do after that? No! Say no!

"Okay," my mouth betrays me. I make sure we've got everything out of the hospital room. Then, we leave. We get into Jace's van and one of my favorite songs comes on, Wake me Up, by Avicii.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_KJAg8bHI

Feeling my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart.

I just want to know the end already! Will I be okay with Jace intimately? Will he get fed up and leave me? Will it be my fault?

I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start.

I guess I've just got to go step by step. Maybe if I just explain to him, but I don't want to talk about.....that with him.

They tell me I'm too young to understand. They say I'm caught up in a dream.

I wish this was merely a misunderstanding. What if Jace is mad? In a dream, I can just wake up, but in real-life, what do I do?

Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes. Well that's fine by me.

I love the idea of just letting it sit out and not dealing with it, but I can't. Jace is probably expecting things from me.

So wake me up when it's all over.
When I'm wiser and I'm older.

I wish I could just fall alssep and wake up with all of my experience be older. Missing all of the breakups, deaths, etc.

All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.

Maybe Jace will help me find myself?

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare. Also, I don't own the 100 books, materials, etc.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 3/17/18