Author's Note: I'd like to say thank you to BellaSH13 for your help with this chapter! Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!

Clary

"Just take your time Clary," Jace comforts. I nod my head and try to remain calm.

"Jace, when I'm done with all of this, you're probably going to know why I don't really have male friends. You're also probably going to want to steer clear of me. I really was looking forward to being your friend. I know we can't lie and pretend if we want to be friends, so I know I have to tell you. Then, you can decide if you still want to be my friend. Also before I begin, I need you to promise it stays between us. My intuition tells me I can trust you. I really hope it's not wrong. I haven't even told Iz about this. Please just keep this to yourself," I explain.

"Of course Clary, whatever you say is between you and me," Jace responds. I have to have more than his word, don't I? But he seems trustworthy. But Jonathan seemed trustworthy too. But Jace isn't Jonathan!

"My...when...I don't know where to start," I whisper.

"Clary, start from wherever you want. I want you to be as comfortable as possible," Jace encouragingly replies.

"Okay, I'll try. You see it all started when I was born. I was born to Jocelyn and Valentine Fray. (Author's Note: Valentine isn't evil in this one, he just leaves after she's born.) My dad left shortly after I was born. He said something about not being able to raise 2 children. I was also," I can't say it! Jace takes my tiny hand in his rather large hand. Then, he starts to rub my hand in circles with his other hand. I..is he trying to comfort me?

"Clary, I promise you're safe to tell me. I'm not going to hurt you. Just take your time," Jace encourages me.

"I was....also born to my brother, Jonathan....Fray. He's six years older than me. I....I don't remember the first time...he hurt me. Jace, he....he molested me," I reply and prepare for his reaction. It never came. He just sat there and stared at my eyes. But then I saw his other hand was gripping the steering wheel and it clicked. He's trying not to react! How does he know I'm scared of his reaction?

I decide to just continue. "My first memory....was when I was threeish. I remember it like it was yesterday. I...I didn't know what was happening, but I knew it hurt, and I didn't like it. I...I tried to get him off, but...I was defenseless against his nine years old self.

(Author's Note: Bold is a flashback/memory. Normal is present day in Jace's van during Study Hall. Italics are Clary's thoughts present day in Jace's van during Study Hall. Also, non-consensual sexual abuse warning! )

I...I was cold laying on a bed. I woke up and called for my mom. She must've been at work or something. Then, I felt something warm by my stomach.

"Wake up little sis," my brother cooed evily.

"Jon, I cold," I replied.

"Clarissa, my name is daddy," Jonathan smiled evily. "You're going to feel warm real soon baby, don't worry."

"That....that's when the pain hit me," I manage. The tears that had been threatening to flow gave out. Jace pulls up the cup holder thing and slides closer to me. I cry into his shoulder. He just sits here, silently comforting me, until I pull it together.

It really hurt. "Please Jon, stop. It hurts!" I begged.

"Now, I know that he was......in me. When I was threeish, I didn't understand," I explain. "I didn't know....."

"Clary, you don't have to defend yourself. Your are the victim, not Jonathan," Jace assures me. How does he know? How does he know I blame myself. Without knowing how to respond, I go back into my memory. Jace moves away a little after I stop crying.

I heard mommy open the front door and Jon quickly got off of me. "Hi Jon, I'm sorry it took so long at the neighbors house. You know Mrs. Smith likes to talk my ear off," my mom joked as she walked up the stairs.

Quickly, he put clothes on me.

"T....that's when I realized....I was....naked," I shudder, and wrap myself tighter in my jacket.

Jace looks at me. "Do you want my sweater?" Jace asks.

I nod my head and pulls it over his head. I manage to peep out a thank you as I take his sweater.

Mommy came into Jon's room. "How was Clarissa?" She asked.

"Of course, she was good," Jon smiled. "My baby sister is just a doll."

Mommy picked me up and as soon as we were out of Jon's room, I cried, "Mommy, Jon hurt me! Please don't leave me with him."

"I....I was three. I was stupid and naive. Since I didn't understand what had just happened between us, I really couldn't explain it to my mom. Also, Jonathan had this angle covered as well. Jace looks at me funny, and I silently tell him with my facial expression to let me explain.

Jon came up behind us. "Mom, she's being a baby. I wouldn't let her play with my toys. I wouldn't hurt her. She's my little sister," Jon lied. My brother walked away satisfied with his handy work.

"Clarissa, what did your brother do?" Jocelyn asked.

"This was my chance! I was going to tell her, and he wouldn't ever hurt me again. Only one problem, I didn't know how to express in words what he did, so my one chance to be saved, was gone."

"Mommy, Jon hurt me really bad," I replied.

My mom laughed and said that she's have to talk to him about it. Then, we had dinner.

Jace remains quiet, giving me a chance to be heard. "My mom, she didn't understand what I meant. Most three year olds are moody. She just thought I wanted to play with Jonathan's toys," I explain. Tears steam down my face and Jace carefully wipes them off.

"Clary, I'm so sorry that you had to experience that," Jace responds and pulls me into a hug.

I pull away from him, "You can see why I was worried. I mean Willow....she calls you dada, you call her baba. You brought her in your room naked. You're always spending time with her," I explain.

"Clary, it's okay, I get it. However, I can promise, I swear on my life, that I'd never hurt Willow," Jace replies.

"I.....I know that now. But, when I started yelling at you, I don't mean to say those things to you," I begin. "When I asked, 'Does she make you feel special? Do you like that she's a little defenseless child? Does that make it better for you? Do her screams turn you on? Do you have her call you dada so you can relive some sick fantasy? Do you hurt her all the time? Why? Why do you hurt her? She's just a defenseless baby! What could I...she possible do to deserve that? Why can't you just leave us alone?' I was projecting all of the things I've always wanted to tell Jonathan. All of the things I wanted to ask him. After my mom found out when I was 12," This is where he's going to hate me. 12 years olds should be able to defend themselves. I...I can't explain it. I know I was ten, but everytime I was in the same room with Jonathan, it was like I was back being a little 3 year old. My mouth didn't speak, my body didn't move, I just let him do whatever he wanted as I prayed it would be over soon. "She pressed charges on him. There wasn't a lack of evidence. It was clear I had been..."

(Author's Note: I researched how long someone went to jail in California for molesting someone. Without any priors, one to three years! One to three fucking years! Needless to say, I know his sentencing is inaccurate.)

"They sent him to jail life without a chance of parole," I conclude.

Jace starts to open his mouth, but I interrupt him. "I...I think we should go back in, so we're not late to Algebra," I deflect. I don't want to know what he's going to say. He's probably going to hate me! I knew it would ruin our friendship, but I had to tell him. Being friends with him not knowing, it would be wrong!

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 2/24/18