By arigold710

Title: The title is simple and straight-forward. I like it.

Blurb: The blurb is catchy and enticing, but simple. I like how you avoided pointless info dumping.

Cover: Sorry, but your cover needs work. The picture composition and text placement are all jumbled. If I were you, I'd ask for a new one.

Plot: I love how your characters interact with each other, and I appreciate the way you develop Miles's struggles to move on as well as his grief. His complicated situation around Melody also deserves a honorable mention. As of characters themselves, I love Dr. Felt and Lily; they're arguably the best developed, although Miles himself is a complex, rounded character.

Grammar: Well... how can I say that? First of all, your paragraphs are overlong and a bit jumbled... at some points, I wanted to stop reading, but I pulled through and went on till your latest chapter. Secondly, you don't use commas, which makes sentences overlong and jumbled, too. Thirdly, you occasionally misused punctuation in dialogues and missed quotation marks. I think your story could use some editing altogether.

Overall rate: 6.5/10

Would I recommend reading this story? I think this story definitely needs a chance. Its plot is strong and defined; if you overlook or, anyway, manage to see through the grammar mistakes, you'll see a story with potential.