6. Just the way you are

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TW: depression (I'm not sure if this is the proper tw but if you feel uncomfortable reading about negative emotions then you should stop.)

Supposed that when this happened there is no Corona virus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let's break up."

Jeongyeon stared at the blinding screen of her phone, the cold weather at night making her shiver, not knowing what to feel about the message she just received from her boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend.

"Ok." She replied.

She saw it coming.

She heard what people had been saying about her... She was aware all of his friends talked badly about her behind her back.

Why are you still dating her? She's fat.

She noticed how he stopped looking at her adoringly, how they didn't meet as often, how he would answer her texts with short sentences, how they gradually drifted apart until she just didn't know him anymore.

It had been rough for Jeongyeon these past few months. Her neck injury was painful, her back aching badly. It hindered everything, from her performance to her daily tasks. Jeongyeon felt like she couldn't do anything right. She had never felt so useless before. Guilt consumed her because all she did was making it more difficult than it already was for her members.

She was aware about the changes in her appearance. The girls kept assuring her that she was pretty, her fans praising her non-stop... But Jeongyeon just couldn't ignore the hate comments online under the hundreds of articles every time she joined TWICE's activities.

The company didn't express it straightforward but she knew they were also pressuring her to lose weight.

She wanted to cry but the tears just wouldn't fall, her heart filled with emptiness.

If only she was stronger.

She promised the girls she would go to this Halloween party with them tonight and even though she didn't have the heart to do anything at all right now, she still hoped the girls could have a good time. What a joy-killer she would be if she decided to cancel at the last minute, right?

"Jeongyeon unnie, are you done? Can you drive us today? I don't trust Nayeon unnie's driving skill." She heard Sana calling for her outside. The girls didn't show it but she knew they didn't want her to think they were pitying her so they had been mindful to treat her normally.

"I'm coming."

The party was a gathering of idols. An once in an idol-lifetime event. It had come as a surprise to both them and the fans since nobody thought the companies would ever agree to this. It was nice to know people were more open to idols having casual interactions now like they were with the first generation of idols back when it was normal for girls and boys to be in the same group.

There was unexpectedly no press people. The companies had decided to keep the event private, letting their artists to really be able to relax for once. It relieved her tremendously because Jeongyeon just couldn't deal with a bunch of journalists cornering them shoving cameras in their faces for pictures right now.

Her members were talking animatedly during the whole ride. They were probably excited to meet up with their friends after not seeing them face-to-face for so long due to their hectic schedule. The girls all had a few close idol friends outside of TWICE except for her. Jeongyeon had always been shy with new people, not the type that would initiate a conversation. Yes she knew quite some big celebrities, but she wasn't as close with any of them as she was with TWICE members.

Jihyo hooked her arm with hers, pulling Jeongyeon in the crowded party, beaming reassuringly at her.

"Don't be so tense, Jeongyeon-ah. Come on I just saw Seulgi unnie with her members there."

*

Jeongyeon downed another glass of whiskey, feeling numb with the loud music and flashing colourful lights. They were really putting in some good wine for this big social occasion. There's a saying, "whiskey is sunlight held together by water". Ironically, she wasn't in the exact mood one would relate to sunlight.

The thick liquid had a warm amber colour, golden brown hue reflecting on the glass.

Jeongyeon tilted the glass to one side, her eyes following the liquid.

She loved whiskey because of its classic flavours and the fact that it can benefit her health. She never got drunk on it but everything had an exception.

A few more glasses in and Jeongyeon was starting to feel the need to escape from the chaotic crowd of dancing people.

She didn't remember how, but she eventually got to the back door that led to an alley.

She walked out, greedily breathing in the fresh air. There was a unsettling smell of old paper as she stepped a bit further. Jeongyeon leaned back on the wall, clutching at her spinning head. The black gloves began to bother her.

Jihyo had wanted her to go as Minion. The girls said the outfit were adorable on her but a quick look at the other idols' sexy costumes was enough to make her doubt that.

God. Look at her. She's so pathetic.

No wonder her boyfriend, sorry ex-boyfriend, broke up with her by one of the worst ways to end a relationship ever: over a damn text message.

What was she expected anyway? There's no way he would find her attractive amongst the sea of beautiful skinny girls that they came across often as a part of their profession. All those romantic films where one loved another despite their flaws? Bullshit.

Jeongyeon slowly slipped down, pushing the pair of goggles out of her face, the ground cold under her denim overalls.

Why can't she stop this numbness feeling from growing inside her head.

*

Jimin became friends with Jeongyeon since the time when he had to practice at the JYPe building because Bighit (or Hybe as they had changed the company name) didn't have one yet. He was close to her but as the public was very strict about boy groups being friendly with girl groups and vice versa, after his debut, they hardly ever had a chat again. He wanted to keep in touch with her but the company confiscated his phone for a whole year and didn't return it until BTS had their first hit so he never even had the chance to congratulate her on TWICE's debut.

There were some funny coincidences when their comebacks happened during the same period which made fan go wild online so it made things even more awkward between him and Jeongyeon.

When they were still teenagers, texting everyday, he had had a crush on her. She was a girl who always acted tough but the truth was she couldn't hurt a fly if she wanted to. She took care of people twice as much as she teased and pranked them.

He didn't think their first time talking again would be when he was trying to have some alone time at a Halloween party, an all-idol party at that matter.

Jimin pushed the back door open, ready to take off the uncomfortable boots that came with the outfit their stylists gave him.

He saw a girl sitting against the wall. She was hugging her legs tightly, head buried on her knees, looking as if she was trying to shrink herself into a cocoon, so fragile and vulnerable.

The sound of shoes meeting the ground alerted Jeongyeon. She slightly shifted her position to make out the figure standing two meters from her.

It was someone wearing some kind of a duke costume.

"Sorry. No one was supposed to see me like this."

Jimin could noticed how her voice was slurred. She must've been drinking quite a lot.

"Are you ok?" He knew there was no press stalking them in this secured area so he came closer to check up on her.

Jeongyeon realized the voice. It's been a while since she last heard it. Though the last time she heard him was through TV on some fancy award event.

"I'm fine, just a bit dizzy. You should go back in. It sounds fun inside." She was aware of her messy appearance. It wouldn't be his first impression of her since that happened ages ago but still, the last thing she wanted was more people pitying her.

"What's about you? If it's fun then why are you out here?" Jimin sat down in front of her.

She was silent for several minutes.

"Am I ugly?" Jeongyeon looked up at him.

"N-no." The faint noise from the party didn't distract her at all, her only focus being his soft voice. "You're pretty, Jeongyeon."

Jeongyeon turned her face away, gazing at the faraway skyline. "You're just saying that to cheer me up."

"No, I'm being honest. You are pretty." Jimin gathered up courage. He had read the news about her temporary rest. Being an idol himself, he understood how much she must be hating herself right now so to hell with shyness, he simply wanted her to know that she's always pretty. "I think you look cute with this minion costume."

Jeongyeon could feel the heat creeping up to her cheeks, from the wine or because of him? She wasn't sure.

"You're lying."

"I'm not. Really!"

"Do you have a girlfriend, Jimin?"

"No."

"Do you love someone right now?"

"No."

"Do you sincerely think I'm pretty?"

"Yes."

"Then prove it."

"How?"

"Kiss me."

It was the lightest touch of his lips on hers. Jeongyeon didn't expect him to kiss her for real. An "I'm just kidding" was on the tip of her tongue when he press his lips against hers.

"W-whatt was that?" Although Jeongyeon was tipsy, she was sober enough to feel that five-second peck.

"You said prove it." Jimin knew what he was doing would probably change everything but hadn't them been distant enough all these years for fear of the public eye? But even with just these tiny interactions at award shows and tonight's short conversation, he knew she was still the Jeongyeon he got to know and like back when they were trainees, young and innocent, striving to achieve their dream.

He wanted to be friends with her again.

And maybe something more.

*

A/N: Hi. It's been a long time huh? This was written on a roll so I haven't checked the spelling and stuffs yet but I was too excited so here it is. This oneshot was not the one that was supposed to be after the last one but you know, sometimes when you had the right inspiration it just came out.

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