hesitation.
as nights fell and ages heightened,
i grew into hesitation.

i was scared of the words that
would fall from my lips.

afraid of how awkward the letters
would combine.
afraid if how my nerves would
put accidental punctuation between
my verbal thoughts.

silence.
as nights fell and ages heightened,
i grew into silence.

'cause with silence, i pleased everyone.

without words, there is no judgement.
without fuel, there is no fire.

discomfort.
as nights fell and ages heightened,
discomfort dawned on me.

bright reds and haunting oranges teased at me.
dancing and singing.

fires surrounded me everywhere,
and i could practically taste the
words on the tip of my tongue.

with every glance i took,
brave people spoke up.

with every glance i took,
brave people let fires ablaze,

icy enough to protect
yet scorching enough to feel
freedom running through the veins.

i wanted to feel that.
i wanted to let my fires
burn from the crack of dawn
til' the tip of midnight.

i didn't want to hold back anymore.

so slowly, i parted my cracked lips,
dehydrated from my caged words.

my hands shook with great fear.
my skin heating by the second.

not turning back, i spoke.

letting my fires destroy
every poisonous wall in my path.

°°°°°

Hi! I'm back

So I just wanted to explain the poem a bit. So I've always been a people pleaser. I still am. Would do anything to feel accepted and liked by others.

I would stay silent. Keep my opinions to myself. Let people talk down to me and treat me wrong if that meant I wouldn't be by myself.
Pathetic really, but I didn't like the idea of bring alone.

I'm starting to find my voice now. I speak up for myself and others, and I'm starting to feel free. Maybe this isn't a big deal to you guys, but this is like a milestone to me. I've never took control over my words like this in my entire life, and I feel really relieved.

I'm making progress with myself, and I couldn't be more happier.

So that's all I wanted to say. I hope you guys are having a great day. You deserve some relaxation and time to yourself. Love you all

Take care

~tatiana🌺