Lol this book has literally become fanservice for Dana x Megatron shippers. Does anyone even ship her with anybot else (COUGH Ratchet COUGH COUGH)?

Again, I do not endorse underage drinking, driving under the influence, or anything said in the first part of this now two-shot.

Also, this chapter is safe for work. Rated T I guess, just for one scene in particular (you'll know which one - though I definitely could turn it into NSFW hehehe). Nothing super romantic or sexy, just Megsy taking care of a hungover human. A cranky one.

Megatron should not have been as surprised as he was when he woke up to vomit all over his chassis. Luckily, his armor was far too thick for the acidic contents to bother him, but it was rather disgusting. Somehow Dana had managed to projectile most of it away from her, though he could still see a trail where she had not been so lucky.

Immediately calling Soundwave and telling him to get whatever supplies necessary for a hungover human he sat up and let her fall into his servo. He shuddered as the liquid nastiness ran down his Decepticon insignia, setting her down and promptly cleaning himself inside a rudimentary watering system Ratchet had installed to keep the grime off. Chromia hated it, as it was nothing like the oil baths back on Cybertron, but everyone else seemed to tolerate it. Megatron actually liked how his armor sheen afterwards, and how the droplets reflected on his silver metal.

When he returned Dana was up, looking disheveled but not completely out of the ordinary for her normal after-recharge look. She cringed as his footsteps echoed and pounded inside her head, her throat dry and body aching horribly. It did not take a genius to realise she was hungover.

"How are you feeling?" He noticed she flinched when he spoke.

"Awful," she croaked, rubbing her temples. "Hungover really bad."

"Soundwave is coming with supplies," he assured, quieting his tone when he realised his voice was hurting her. She had accidentally snapped at him once when he spoke to her and caused a spike of pain, which lead to the explanation of headaches. He ended up more confused than informed, as she described the human brain as having no nerve endings, yet they felt the sensation of pain in their heads - this was due to a delicate circulatory system within their skull which surrounded the vital organ. The main causes were dehydration, loud and repetitive sounds, female reproductive cycles, high blood pressure, and sometimes genetic components.

Soundwave came in quietly, his master having informed him of Dana's sensitivity, gently setting down a tote of things he managed to scrounge up: water, some bottled orange juice, pain medication of the migraine variety, and protein-rich foods. Without further ado Dana grabbed a water bottle and the pain medicine, downing two pills and the entire bottle within half a minute. She cringed as she tasted the vomit and after-taste of the alcohol.

After drinking another bottle she sighed, resisting the urge to wipe the corners of her mouth. "I need to get cleaned up," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. "But parents'll freak if I come home like this . . ."

Megatron grimaced. "I am very reluctant to attempt to sneak you past Ratchet or Chromia," he gazed at her. "Though our own water system is too large for you. The water would hurt, possibly bruise or break something soft, like an eye."

"Don't you guys have a sink I can just take a bath in?" She mumbled, hating how nasty her body felt. It was like she had somehow managed to get three weeks work of grime on her in the span of a night.

"No," the ex-warlord paused. "Though I suppose I could attempt to lessen the force of the water . . ."

Much to his surprise Dana was too desperate for some sort of cleansing to reject his offer, Soundwave leaving again for a short period of time to grab the things she wanted. The human was a bit crabby once he got back, handing off the towels and fresh clothes to Megatron and leaving him to deal with his femme. After a snappy warning to not even think about looking Dana let him step into the shower first, turning on the water and crouching down.

Manipulating his arm, he carefully allowed rivets of water to stream down his sharp digits, watching with some fascination. He had encountered the phenomenon before and thought it rather . . . tranquil.

"I'm coming!" She announced, her voice cracking. As per his promise he tilted his helm up and affixed his optics onto a point on the wall, audioreceptors hearing her wade through the water to him before pausing. A pleased sigh escaped her as she finally washed up, cleaning her face and mouth while soaking her hair.

Megatron remembered the last time they had been in a similar position: minutes before the surgery that gave her the ability to walk again. He remembered disliking the mere idea of the surgeon getting close to her while she was vulnerable, and it took most of his own self-control to allow Dr. Klindeston to continue with the procedure. It helped that Soundwave was there and could intervene at any time.

He also recalled the somewhat twisted satisfaction he received knowing she had allowed herself to be in her most helpless state in his presence. A creature without fear, even when she did not have been the illusion of armor to protect her. Though he felt the very same way now, there was no true gratification from the idea. Rather, now he felt somewhat humbled, trusted to protect her in this manner.

"I'm done, but don't look until I'm dressed," she waited until she received a grunt of acknowledgement before sloshing away from the main shower area, the water up to her ankles.

Standing, Megatron turned off the water and waited, his back to where she was, ever patient.

"Okay," she said, sounding almost quiet. He turned out, carefully stepping out. Her old clothes were in a pile on the floor, and she now wore a pair of loose pants, an a too-large hoodie. Her hair was pulled back in a braid, the area around her eyes still flecked with black here and there, remnants of the makeup. She rubbed her temples again, still waiting for the medicine to kick in.

Wordlessly, Megatron carefully picked her up, holding her with the upmost gentleness as he took her back to his quarters, on the constant lookout for Chromia or Ratchet as he did so. The former would most like ask them what they "were up to," which he found an annoying and stupid question due to her tone. The latter would demand to know what his charge was doing in Megatron's room, and then the terribly observant medic would realize her hair was wet - and the last thing Megatron wanted was for Ratchet to begin making assumptions.

When they returned he let her slip out of his palm and onto his berth, the young woman cracking open an orange juice and gulping it down.

"Do you remember much of last night?" He inquired, curious.

She paused, thinking for a moment. "Not really," she confessed. "After about two beers and a shot it all got pretty fuzzy. I mean, I know I danced like an utter fool, hung out with Sierra and her friend before meeting up with a guy . . ." She frowned for a moment. "Wait, you were there."

Megatron could not help the slightly amused grin. "Indeed. You did not check up with me, so I went and looked for you."

"But you -" she paused, no longer trusting her memory. "Human? Holoform?"

"Correct."

"Wow," Dana paused, taking a sip of Orange juice, looking up at him. "You looked so young."

"A slight alteration," he explained. "So that I would be able to blend in. Granted, it took more effort than I anticipated, and the human at the door almost did not let me in, but it was manageable. Though I think it was the scars which made him hesitate. Physical appearances can only go through so many alterations. They are a reflection of who we are, after all."

Much to his immense amusement she almost choked on her orange juice as she continued to recall to finer details, coughing and taking another long drink to sooth the spasms, still hacking a little as she composes herself.

"Megatron I am so sorry about that, uh, that kiss," she grimaced. "Definitely should not have done that."

"You were intoxicated, I knew that was the case," he assured, leaning against the wall. "Besides, that isn't the most ambitious thing you did; shall I remind you of the pick-up lines you attempted to use on me? I quite fondly remember one about my gearshift."

Dana cringed. "Please don't. By the Allspark, I'm never doing any of that ever again. I can't believe you let me go into that house."

He raised an optic ridge. "You insisted, and it was not my place to stop you. Not unless it caused you harm."

"Well, I'm harmed right now," the nurse finished off the Orange juice, knowing she was going to have to pee up a storm later. "Worst feeling in the world right now: a hangover."

The former Decepticon merely shrugged. "No one is to blame for that but yourself. Do you require more pain medication?"

"No, already took two Excedrin, which I'm pretty sure is the daily limit anyways." She replied dryly, curling up on his berth. "Caffeine or not, I'm ready to take another twelve hour nap. You gonna join me?"

She received an odd look from the Cybertronian. "I would crush you."

"Not if you were smart." She quipped back. "Besides, I don't have a blanket, or even a dry towel. I'll get cold. I need someone to cuddle and give me body heat."

There was a long pause as he started at her. "Are you still drunk?"

The young woman snorted. "Nope. But, I do know that in about half a week, maybe a week, I'm going to be getting a visit from my least favorite relative. So you can just chalk it up to hormones."

Of all the things Megatron had never heard in his life, the most bizarre and one he never though he would ever hear was "cuddle me." There was no way she was sober. Yet a quick bio-scan ensured that all of the alcohol had indeed left her system. And she was craving oxytocin.

He sighed. When had he, leader of the Decepticons, become subject to an organic's whims?

Yet somehow she knew he would be unable to refuse her. With a deep vent the Cybertronian activating his holoform - configured to last night's settings - and approached her. She allowed him to wrap a single arm around her, the human's pack instincts kicking in and allowing her to settle against him, immediate waves of the bonding hormones flooding her systems. Megatron just laid there, keeping her close and safe, as he let her sleep off the pain.

This is probably riddled with errors because I just published it fresh off the first draft, so.... sorry??