Saturday..

I groaned....I shuffled my body to feel my own warmth in my own bed. I really was home, but this house is empty. My head felt congested with all sorts of nonsense but my heart on the other hand felt like an iceberg but I still had a pulse I guess that's good...I got out of bed and opened to curtains to see there was a beautiful sunrise to greet me. I stretched lightly then made my way to the kitchen to make myself breakfast that I didn't even have a taste for.

So I just put it in the microwave so I can attempt to eat it later..a few moments passed as I just stared at the ceiling to try and recall previous events, but my luck-I couldn't remember what exactly happened to me "Two months huh....?"

I don't know what it is but I just feel odd about this situation I'm in; my state of apathy at the moment, failure to recall certain events, all of this confusion made my head spin. More importantly, what's this stupid ankle bracelet for? Ah, nevermind..I assume I'm on probation-for what exactly? I groaned as I scratched my head and I heaved a heavy sigh, I looked over on the sofa to hear my phone go off.

I looked at it seeing I had gotten a text message from Takumi, this made my situation no better but I had to see what he wants and if it's worth my time or not "Hey, Misaki-san! I feel really bad about yesterday and how I dropped a bunch of heavy stuff on you so suddenly and I feel I should make it up to you. How does a trip to the mall sound?"

The mall? Seriously? I hate people and outdoor areas and the mall has nothing I like in it....I sighed and rolled my eyes texting him back saying fine in the nicest way possible.

I had nothing better to do, besides who knows what would happen if I were here alone by myself all day...my eyes started burning at the thought and tears began to prick at my eyes but why couldn't I remember what I was crying for? Nothing made sense..just that alone made me fall silent and my chest felt heavy leaving my skin to feel cold. I looked up at the ceiling before I got up and began changing.
~~~
"Hey Misaki-san! Today is good afternoon isn't it? Not too cold or too hot, no rain just sunshine! It's beautiful." Takumi smiled up at the beautiful blue skies as I held a water in my hands. "I wish you could see this big brother..."

As soon as Takumi said that his smile fell and tears started welling up in his eyes so I just looked away "Hey, I know that it isn't good to stomp on a man's pride and all but your crying.." "Heh I know...no matter how much I try to stop it I can't. Looks like I held it in too long.." Takumi tried to smile through his tears but he failed.

Ashamed he put his hood on and turned his back on me then headed toward a bench then had sat down looking at his shoes. "I'm sorry, this wasn't meant to happen." Takumi tried to smile again but whatever he was thinking about kept eating at him so he kept crying "You're trying too hard, Takumi." "You wouldn't understand why I'm like this!" "Yeah, what the hell am I talking about-why I would suggest that I have no idea." I shrugged and sipped on some of the water I had

"Way to cheer a guy up." Takumi sniffled and took off his hood to look up back at the sky "I mean it isn't my fault, but I get the feeling that our personalities should be swapped. But, I know my boundaries though so I won't ask why you were crying." "No, I'll tell you as an apology for yelling at you-not after what you've been through you don't deserve that."

'What I've been through..Hm...nothing comes up no matter how hard I think.'

When he said that I leaned on my knees taking another sip of water as the gentle wind brushed against us "Today is May 1st...my big brother Ryoma's birthday. He would have been a solid 19 year old senior and would have been nearly a week away from his graduation...his plans were to study abroad in foreign countries and learn about the world around him. He was always interested with others and how they coped differently-he wanted to see how they learned and grew through life, that's how he met his senior girl friend and one of the student council officers; Cassandra Mahariel. His attention was either always on her or his studies since he was ranked top five in the school. He was and her were called the dynamic duo of the senior classes since they were both ranked happily and safely among their classmates since they were well liked. You could say that I was...jealous of him..our parents favoured him more out of the rest of our siblings. But out of the blue he told me how he hated his life and that he didn't deserve all of this success while I stood back and watched....he told me he didn't deserve to live..."

Takumi covered his mouth as tears poured out of his eyes once again and he tried to press them back. I went into my pocket and handed him a small pack of tissues without looking at him

"Thank you...but with that said I told him that his life was a golden treasure and that there should be more people in the world like you. He smiled at me and nodded and I thought my words got through to him and that he understood-but I was lied to...that was the last smile he gave me before he killed himself...!" Takumi burrowed his face into his jacket sleeves

'So even the best of people born with success can feel like shit inside.....it's odd.....something must have happened between those lines.....I-I don't know what I could say or do..I can't give him the sympathy I don't have..but the least I can do is express some type of condolence...if I'm even capable anymore....'

I then motioned my heavy arm over and interlocked my hand with Takumi's my fingers slipping through to grasp his warm hand contrasting against my cold hand. He looked shocked for a moment at the sudden moment "Don't cry any more, he wouldn't want that."

I said looking away into the crowd of people, not giving any type of eye contact at all. All I earned was a chuckle "Your odd, I'm glad you're here with me and heard me out regardless of all the crap that has came my way. Would you want me to continue? I don't want to cause anymore water works.." "I don't mind." I spoke quietly and for some reason my hand felt completely comfortable in his

"To love is to understand, that's what I learned from you-I didn't think I could learn from you. You bring joy to my life..my beautiful daughter, Misaki."

"Misaki? What's the matter? Are you hurt?" For some reason I spaced out seeing a familiar man's face, those words bringing a wave of nostalgia over me but I ignored it and went on with the rest of the day.