Still in the honeymoon phase of cutesy shit. There'll be angst one day....

This will contain BirdFlash coz I love that gay shit

Edited 06/02/2024: format change and some additions

There were a few things that Dick had never done. When you lived the life he did, you've probably experienced nearly everything you could experience. Yet one of these experiences Dick never had was the feeling of being drunk off your tits. 

He wasn't much of a drinker in his defence. The most he'd ever had were a couple of beers and maybe a shot or two to blend in when he was undercover. He could blame his work for making it impossible to take a night off. The last thing anyone would want was for him to come swinging in unsteady on his feet and five seconds from passing out if he hadn't already from the momentum sickness. He got FOMO both for drinking and for working so it was a double-edged sword.

Wally had been drunk a few times but the feeling never lasted longer than an hour thanks to his hyper-metabolism. When he did bother to get drunk he preferred to hang around drunk people. Drunk people were the funniest people he knew and enabling his friends to drink a little bit too much was fun as all hell. He'd never make them drink so much they'd be sick but if they were wanting jager bombs despite having to be up early to train, he wasn't exactly going to deny them but he would leave a glass of water and aspirin on their nightstand when they went to bed. He liked to think of himself as devil's advocate with a bit of care on the side.

So when Dick, a virgin to the feeling of ultimate drunkenness, suggested they get drunk together, Wally was speedy to agree. They decided to drink at home since they couldn't risk Dick letting something slip in public whilst drunk. It also meant they didn't have to pay stupid amounts of money for minimal amounts of alcohol in some clubs and wouldn't make too many stupid decisions. They sat down with a bottle of tequila and whatever had the highest percentage, some mixers and shot glasses, then began a night of drunken antics.

Despite only drinking half a litre of pure alcohol throughout his entire life, it did take a few hours of straight drinking for the effects to sink in. They blamed the number of chemicals and sedatives Dick had been given from a young age had done a number on his tolerance. Wally had taken it upon himself to count Dick's drinks, just in case something happened or he went too hard. He counted four shots and ten bottles of whatever they'd picked up. 

"You good over there?" he asked, barely holding in laughter. Dick's eyelids were a mix of half shut and half squinted. 

"Fabulous," he responded. "You know, I think I'm a tiny bit drunk," he added, taking another sip. Wally grinned at him, excited to see what his friend was like drunk. As easygoing as he appeared, a lot of thought went into his persona. It'd be interesting to witness what Dick was like without the planning.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed," he teased. His teasing fell upon deaf ears as Dick began to sway slightly. "I think you've had enough now Dickie," he warned. He didn't want to be dealing with his boyfriend throwing up all night. The younger frowned but took the warning. Dick placed the bottle he'd just finished down and wormed his way under Wally's arm.

"Fine but only because you're the hottest guy here," he responded. Wally couldn't help but blush at the compliment. 

"There's only us two here," Wally pointed out.

About a minute passed before Dick asked, 

"Are you single?" This was too good to be true. Dick was really attempting to ask out his boyfriend. 

"Babe, we've been dating for three years," the ginger pointed out. Dick's face went as red as a tomato and a grin lit up his features.

"We have? That's great!"

"Yeah, it is," he replied with a laugh.

A few seconds passed before Dick spoke up. 

"Do you wanna know a secret I've never told anyone?" he asked. Wally's ears perked up in interest and his attention was instantly all on the raven-haired man. 

"Sure," he answered, trying his best to act nonchalant. Dick giggled, sitting up on his knees with drunken glee. His blue eyes were slightly unfocused but he managed to keep them somewhat on Wally's face. 

"I was the one who named all Batman's stuff by putting bat in front of them," he whispered. Why he was whispering, neither of them really knew. They were alone in the flat. Literally, nobody would be able to hear them. Yet Wally could only smile at the secret. 

"But everybody's ragged on him for years for naming his stuff like that!"

"I know right! He said a while ago that he didn't want to disappoint me so he went along with it and then everything just suck," Dick admitted. The speedster committed that to memory, hoping he didn't forget that in the morning. 

"Do you wanna share any more secrets?" he asked.

There was a small silence before Dick settled on another one. 

"B once asked me to pass him a battery and I asked what a tery was. I gave him fifty dollars to keep him quiet. Which come to think of it, that doesn't make much sense since he's a bajillionaire." Wally couldn't help but let out a laugh. He was so happy he chose this person to spend his life with. "Have I ever told you how cute your laugh is? It's super cute," Dick slurred. The ginger's face heated up. "You know what else is cute?" He shook his head. "You."

"Dick, you're adorable," he stated. They shared a kiss that lasted a few moments. Dick looked unsatisfied with that, deeming it too short. 

"We should do something fun," he suggested.

Before Wally could inquire more about the idea, Dick was sitting on his lap. His arms were wrapped around his neck as he stole another kiss. This time it was longer but Wally cut it off.

 "Babe, what fun were you thinking of?" he questioned.

"You know what I want," Dick responded, his hands wandering down to the ginger's waist.

"As much as I would love what you're thinking of, that's not a good idea. You're way too drunk to be making decisions like that," Wally told him. His voice was stern and surprised his drunk partner. Wally was lustful as all hell. Why was he turning him down now? 

"Why not? Did I do something wrong?" Wally was quick to shoot this idea down as soon as it arose.

"No! You've done nothing wrong. It's just not a great idea to have sex when you're drunk. You can't say yes when you're minds all buzzed on tequila and whatever the fuck else we bought," he explained. He made sure his voice was clear so even a severely drunk person could understand him. Understanding as best he could, Dick got off his lover's lap and returned to his previous spot. "How about we do something else that's fun?" Wally suggested.

"Like what?" Wally got up, reaching down to help his drunk partner up.

"Well, I can reheat some pizza and sober you up a little. Then you can get some sleep and, maybe tomorrow, if you're up to it, we can resume where we left off," he answered, whispering the last part in Dick's ear. He took a moment of thought. 

"Sounds good to me," Dick concluded with a smile.

Y'all thought there'd be smut get fukked