Rose Tyler tops Ten and if you say any different I will respectfully disagree but spitefully

also still have angst to get out so have this pls 

mayybe jos maybe it's mentol illness innit?

EDIT: TW BLOOD

As soon as the suggestion that he could live in with them whilst Dick healed, Damian snapped up the chance. He'd grown rather protective of Dick. He was pretty much the best part of his day and he just couldn't lose that. HIm and Wally had crossed wires over the matter since the ginger wasn't that much better. Their relationship had gotten better though so he was comfortable having a little terror around. He could do with the help anyway. Since it was the school holidays, Damian could be there for Dick during the day whilst he was at work and make sure the ex Talon didn't do something stupid when he was hurt. Damian was staying in the spare bedroom in the apartment. It normally housed one of the Batboys who wanted a pit stop nap during patrol which led to Damian locking the windows after Tim tried sleepily fell on top of the bed whilst he was in it.

Dick was laying in bed beside his sleeping boyfriend, staring at the ceiling and following the cracks with his eyes. He could feel it. The burn in his lungs from being forced back in the box he'd spent so long in. He hadn't told anyone what happened to him and it was starting to drive him crazy. Wally had mentioned his restlessness at night and he knew that wasn't the only thing he'd noticed. He'd probably seen his aversion to being touched. Him sitting up and scanning the room for hours on end when he was supposed to be resting. His inability to relax. Damian must've seen it too. He'd catch the small frowns of worry here and there. Yet none of that gave him the right incentive to tell either of them what had gone on. They were already taking care of him, they shouldn't have to shoulder the reason why. It was his own fault anyway. They wouldn't spare him any sympathy. In the kitchen, he heard Damian walking about and the clinking of pans. The domestic noise made him slightly more comfortable but he was still on edge. Talons were supposed to be vigilant when they were at their weakest as did heroes so he was never able to shake that training off. He listened to the click of the stove lighting itself. His hearing was brilliant. Not all of his Court given abilities were bad he supposed. There was a fridge door being opened, a few things are taken out. He guessed that Damian was making breakfast. Good. The kid needed to eat with all the training he did. He glanced over at the alarm clock. Wally would need to get up soon for his job. The anxiety would kick in soon. He didn't like Wally leaving him whilst he was recovering. He wouldn't be able to be there for him if trouble found him. Wally could get hurt or worse. The possibility of either scared him to no end.

Suddenly there was a clang of pots and a loud shout. Whether it was from pain or shock, Dick didn't care. He shot up, ignoring the agony of moving so fast, and ran at the top speed his aching body allowed. When he reached the kitchen, however, he was met with Damian picking up the pans and grumbling to himself. He glanced up at the older, shocked that he'd made it out of bed. The adrenaline wore off upon seeing the only threat to his brother was his own early morning clumsiness. He let out a sigh of relief and leaned on the doorframe. He felt dizzy. Maybe he should've just told Wally to check. There was a pain in his side too. Either he had a stitch or snapped a few. "Grayson, what on Earth are you doing running about?" Damian asked.

"I heard you shout and the pans. I thought something bad happened," he explained, panting. Why was he panting? Did the room always swirl like that? There was something wet on his side. It was dripping down his torso and soaked into his pajama pants. He didn't think he could break a sweat that was only concentrated in one area. He was pretty sure no one could do that. "Christ Dick, you nearly gave me- you're bleeding," Wally greeted, suddenly appearing by his partner's side. Ah. That made more sense. 

"I thought they were here," he mumbled. 

"Who?"

"Them!" he replied frustratedly.

"I don't know who "they" are," Wally told him.

"Owls," he whispered weakly. "Fuck," he added before his eyes rolled back and closed. He went limp but luckily the ginger caught him before he hit the floor. The speedster sighed and picked up his boyfriend with a frown, receiving a small groan. "The owls?" he asked, looking over to Damian. It was much too early to be dealing with this. For all he knew, Dick was hallucinating about killer owls from the medicine he was on getting funky with his brain. "I think he meant the Court," he answered. Wally's frown deepened. Just how much trouble had his partner gotten himself into? He should've forced his way on that stupid mission. At least then he would've known what had gone on to make him paranoid enough to open his wounds. "Make sure he's careful today. He can't afford any more time off to recover. He'll go stir crazy being cooped up in here," he said. Damian nodded and returned to making breakfast.

Dick woke up out of breath. He couldn't remember what he was dreaming about but he was sure that it wasn't good. His sides hurt which he guessed was from him opening the stitches. How long had he been asleep? He fainted in the morning, he was sure of it. Maybe half seven. The clock now read ten. He'd missed Wally going to work. Damian would've been alone for three hours. They were both prime targets and he'd just left them alone. The room felt so small. He needed to get up. But that would make his wounds worse so he should stay in bed. But the room. It was closing in on him. He knew it. Did he escape? Was that reality? They wouldn't add that to his suffering. Would they? This world might just melt before him and he'd be back to that emotionless monotonous life. Train, kill, back in the pod. Train, kill, back in the pod. Train, kill, back in the pod. He didn't want to go back to the pod. It hurt to breathe in the liquid. Drowning without the relief of death. Constantly choking until your body got so tired that you gave up and gave in to their form of rest. It wasn't resting. It was perpetual torture. Silently screaming till you could scream no more. The only relief coming from training where you got knocked out for a little bit. He liked those moments. Just black. "I see you're finally up," Damian greeted. Dick snapped his head over to him. He should've heard him come in. Why didn't he? "You look shaken."

"I...Are you real?" he asked. The younger raised an eyebrow. Perhaps he'd gone stir crazy earlier than previously thought. 

"Yes Grayson, I am. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, I just needed to check." Damian tilted his head to the side and came into the room. He was carrying a bowl of cereal. Probably to make up for his missed breakfast. He passed the older the bowl and perched himself on the edge of the bed. "As you know I'm hardly great at dealing with emotional responses to things. However, due to West's presence being at work and this issue seemingly getting worse, I'm forced to talk to you about this. Are you okay?" he asked. Dick played with the Cheerios, picking them up with the spoon then pouring them back in the bowl, seemingly avoiding the topic. "I'm serious. I need to know if you're okay."

"It's not your place to know. You're a child and I'm an adult. Putting the pressure of how I feel upon you would leave me in no better a place than if I weren't to tell you," he responded.

"I am not a mere child. You may be like a father to me but you're my brother first and brothers tell each other how they feel when the time comes which is now," he argued. He sighed softly and looked at his brother. Dick looked so tired. Disheveled. He'd been getting worse no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "I understand your reluctance to tell me but if you won't tell me for yourself then tell me for my own sake, for West's." Dick bit his lip and put the bowl on the side. He supposed he should. 

"Fine. I'm not doing so well. I knew I wouldn't be after the mission but I just thought if I didn't talk about it then it'd be like it didn't happen."

"Well it did happen so you may as well talk to me about it," Damian insisted.

"I'd rather not. Can't this wait till Wally is home too? Then I'll get it out of the way."

"That seems logical. Do you need anything?" he asked.

"The remote. I don't like the quiet."

And so they waited. Wally came home around six. "Sup Damian, have a nice day?" he greeted, putting his keys in the bowl. He locked the door. Dick had insisted on having at least ten locks. He said it was for protection but the speedster called it paranoia. "Not particularly. Though, Grayson will be telling us of what happened on his mission," the younger responded. Wally raised an eyebrow. 

"Really? How'd you get him to do that?"

"I have my ways." The ginger tutted at him, hoping that there was no violence involved, and shrugged off his coat. 

"How's he been?"

"Quiet for the most part. He seems more distant," he explained. The ginger nodded.

"I'll go talk to him, think you can order us dinner?" He picked up the first few takeaway menus that he liked the look of and passed them over. 

"Takeaway won't do anything for his recovery," Damian reminded him, glancing through the menus for the least unhealthy one. The older scoffed at him. 

"Maybe not but it'll be a nice change from the same old salad you're giving him." He ignored Damian rolling his eyes and walked to the bedroom. He knocked on the door then opened it, quickly walking in and shutting it behind him as to not wake his sleeping lover with the hallway light. He wanted to wake him up less abruptly. "Dickie," he called sweetly. His voice was quiet and soft. Dick stirred but didn't wake up, making him chuckle. "C'mon babe, you won't be able to sleep tonight if you don't wake up," he warned. Cautiously, he sat on the bed and lightly shook the other's shoulder. Dick opened his eyes slightly before huffing. "There are those beautiful eyes. How're you feeling?"

"Better than the last time you saw me," Dick answered. He sat up and met the other's lips, giving him a chaste kiss. The ginger smiled and glanced over to his bedside. He noticed the bowl of cereal half-eaten, the cheerios swelled up some soaking up the milk all day. "Is that all you've eaten?" he asked.

"Had a smoothie earlier," Dick answered as though that made it all better. It didn't. He needed all the energy he could get to help him recover. 

"I'll make sure you get something substantial then." There was a small pause before he took Dick's hand in his. He ran his thumb along the back of it then glanced up to stare at his boyfriend. "Damian said you were distant."

"I'm just tired. I assume he's told you I plan to explain what happened on my ill-fated mission?" Wally nodded. "Right." He squeezed his hand a few times.

"You don't need to tell us. I get it's not a fun subject and we won't force you to talk about it."

"No, I think saying something will help. I'm just nervous about how you and Damian will take it," he responded. Wally sighed and pulled him into a gentle hug. He didn't want to do anything to harm him. He could feel how tense the other was. He'd been tense since he'd come back. Though he suspected that this had something to do with the Court, he felt there was something more to it. That it wasn't just a characteristic he couldn't shake off. "We care about you, you could tell us you killed someone on that mission and are hiding their body under this bed and we'll be there to help you chuck it somewhere it won't be found. I'm thinking the Pacific Ocean," he suggested. Dick chuckled gingerly.

"You'll be pleased to know I did nothing of the sort." They pulled away from one another before Wally kissed him lightly. 

"Then there's nothing to worry about, is there?"

"I suppose not. Can you help me in the living room? I'd rather not spend much more time here."

"No problem."

It took a while for Dick to muster up the courage to talk about what had gone on. He'd thought about how to put it all day. He'd come to terms with the memory but he felt that he'd have to be careful around his wording as to not upset either of them. Their reaction may be more so than his own. He had to be sensitive. Wally was cleaning the table whilst Damian washed up the plates. Bruce wouldn't believe that he was doing such menial tasks. He guessed it was because he wanted to feel helpful since he couldn't cure all the cuts, stab wounds and bruises. Washing up helped. Dick picked at his thumbnail, grimacing ever so slightly at the small pain he got from pulling the part still connected to the nailbed. "I'd like to talk about it now," he announced, his eyes focused on the table. The pair stopped, glanced at one another than to Dick. "Okay, do you need anything beforehand?" Damian inquired. He shook his head. They resumed their seats at the dining table and waited patiently for him to begin. 

"I did want to tell you the intention of the mission but I thought it was in your best interest not to know. You'd have deniability if they got what they wanted," he began. "The Court has been contacting me for months. They've threatened both of your lives. When they did, I set up a meeting. They wanted information and I was willing to give them some of it in order to keep you safe."

"Do you know how dangerous that was? When have they ever stayed faithful to their bargains?" Wally asked, his tone almost patronizing completely by accident. He just couldn't believe someone so smart could be so stupid at the same time. Damian glared at him, making him aware of how he must've sounded. "I'm completely aware of that, that's why I insisted upon Bruce stepping up as his father and why I reminded you that if something were to happen to me I'd want you to move on," Dick explained. "I had M'gann transport me and keep it off the logs. I couldn't risk you composing a rescue mission and getting yourselves hurt." He shifted in his seat uncomfortably then continued. "I was met by William Cobbs. Stupidly, I thought I had the upper hand. He may be a Talon but I've beaten him once before and I was so sure I could do it again. My confidence blinded me to the fact even though Talons do work alone, they can come together on a certain mission. Our meeting was that certain mission. They wanted that information badly enough to pull out multiple Talons."

"What was the information?" Damian asked.

"How I removed the majority of my Talon training." He cringed upon hearing himself. "I know it was dumb but I also know they don't make empty threats." He wasn't naive to the fact that it could be used against him in the future but when put in that situation, he couldn't think about himself. This wasn't a threat to their hero personas, it was a threat to them as a civilian. At any moment they could be killed. They didn't need to wear a suit. They needed to be in the right place at the right time. "When I got in the building, I handed it over. I walked straight into an ambush. I didn't have time to even think before I was shoved in one of the transportation tanks. I-I couldn't breathe. I've not been in one for years. It burnt. It always used to burn before they fixed me. They said it was supposed to. But it shouldn't. I don't want it to hurt. I don't like it in there." Wally held his shaking hand reassuringly. It was at that point he felt a tear run down his cheek. 

"I've got you, Dickie. You're here with us." He swallowed thickly and nodded. He must've got caught up in the memory. That happened sometimes. Less so now than when he was first shedding away the Talon training. "Thank you. As I said, I was in the transportation tank. I don't remember much. There was darkness for a lot of it. Eventually, I smashed my way through the tank." He smirked pitifully. "I've always wanted to do that. I fought off as many as I could but obviously when you're outnumbered, you don't leave a fight without a few wounds. I found the doors and cracked them open. I was in the middle of nowhere, travelling in a van that you wouldn't look at twice. That's when I called M'gann to pick me up."

"Why would you keep that from us? It had to have been traumatic to be back in one of those things," Wally asked.

"Because I was embarrassed. I walked straight in there thinking I was the greatest and knew exactly what I was doing. I walked out terrified. You two can still be hurt, I'm too early in recovery to save you and I can't relax because at any moment they can come to find me. The information was destroyed, I'm sure of it. I told M'gann to take the USB and smash it up. But they know my weakness now." He trembled as his eyes dropped to the table in front of him. "I don't want to be a Talon again."

"You're not going to be," Damian assured him.

"Exactly. Now we know about it, we can protect ourselves better and we can help you. No wonder you've been so tense," Wally added. "I get that you think you know best because of your training but your opinion is always biased. You think that we can just move past losing you if it were to happen but we won't. You're important to us and you've got to let us have our say." Dick nodded.

"I'm sorry," he responded. Wally shook his head, standing up and pulling him into a hug.

"This isn't something you need to apologize for but it's something you need to be aware of. From now on, how about we get a say in big decisions like this?" he suggested.

"Sounds like a better idea. You know I do it out of love though, right?"

"Why else would you do it?" Damian joked. He smiled at the younger and finally relaxed.

"How about we bunk off patrol for the night? I'm sure one of your brothers will love to run the city for tonight," Wally proposed, getting a few nods of approval.

Two hours later, the trio was passed out on the couch. Tim, who'd been giving the task of patrolling, took a picture whilst passing by. He made sure to put as many cringey heart emojis on it then sent it to everyone on his contact list. Damian would be too protective of Dick to leave the house with the intention to kill him. He'd get away with it until the older was better. By then it would just be a dead meme.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA