i don't know about the title either

EDIT: TW SUICIDE MENTION

https://sossilenceofsuicide.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw38-DBhDpARIsADJ3kjn2gCMdx_ygHYr5QLZ2-e8R-x2vJeB3JUYGBJkUzP2E1XTPkHRmGMAaAnhkEALw_wcB

https://suicideprevention.ca/

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Like Dick did every other Sunday night, he went to Barry's house for dinner. He'd began bringing David along with him. Everything seemed fine. They'd both be on their best behaviour for the couple he regarded as family and the couple were happy to see him every now and then. Everything seemed fine. But it wasn't Barry and Iris hadn't expected him to fall in love with someone whilst being a villain. They were holding out hope that this was just some fling that would make him realise Wally and he could have a relationship despite their jobs. Although he kept bringing David and the two were very clearly enamoured with one another, their hope remained and resulted in a rather awful dinner.

Dick showed up wearing a suitable skimpy outfit (nothing major since they were like his parents at this point) whilst David was dressed more suitably for the cold fall weather. He kept his arm around the acrobat's waist to keep him close, hoping he wouldn't catch his death out there. He was all for self-expression but he'd rather his boss not get sick. He'd never seen him sick before but he imagined him being grumpy and he hated when he was grumpy. Everyone suffered when he was grumpy. Dick knocked on the door excitedly, giving his lover a smile. "I tell you what I need this after that whole culling the two cities debacle. Back to normality hey?" he commented. He leaned into the taller more when the door opened. Barry gave him a warm smile and let him inside. "How're things?" Barry asked. He sounded nervous for some reason which instantly set the pair off. 

"What's going on?" Dick as immediately. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry. He's my nephew," he replied. He shut the door once they were inside and a confused Dick went to ask him what he meant. Was there someone else here that shouldn't be? He couldn't quite tell if it was a danger or not. He said 'my nephew.' No. No, he can't be here. "Hey Dick, long time no see," Wally greeted with a shy smile.

Instantly Dick turned around to face him, his features darkening upon seeing the emerald-eyed ginger. "Would've preferred it to be longer," he replied. He looked him up and down like that bitchy popular girl in high school scanning for any imperfections. He didn't find any. Damn. He really hoped the ginger had gone downhill or something but no. He looked the same as he did that night. Dick's teeth gritted together in spite. "I like your outfit," Wally attempted, trying to lighten the mood. The acrobat rolled his eyes and turned to David, folding his arms unhappily.

"As much as I'd love to look at your insufferable face, I think we'd best be off. C'mon David, we can get take out from that Chinese place you like," he stated. David nodded, happy to take him away from his ex-boyfriend. He knew he wasn't supposed to but he felt assured that Dick couldn't stand the sight of his ex. At least he knew they weren't going to get back together on a whim. "Just talk to me! Please," Wally called out, speeding to be beside him. He reached out to hold his hand which he just about managed to do. He wasn't on his last nerve just yet so he thought he may as well allow it. "Is there anything to talk about? We're both happy doing our own thing."

"You're happy? Dick, you got so sad that you hatched a plan to kill yourself! You can't be happy!" Wally fired back. His hand was smacked away at that comment followed with a harsh glare. 

"They told you about that?" he asked sharply. Oh, his family were certainly getting it for letting his true intentions slip. He never gave them permission to tell heroes about it. 

"Boss, we should get going." He glanced back to the taller with a nod. 

"I must say, I thought better of you Barry considering you know the circumstances."

"Please just talk to me, one on one. I don't like how we left things," the ginger insisted. Dick groaned dramatically the pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to deal with any of this. He could've just had a nice quiet evening with his boyfriend or gone out and broke someone's legs. "You owe me, Dick. You left me on that rooftop." The acrobat stiffened upon the sudden recall of that night.

"Fine. Same rooftop. Tomorrow night, at 10 pm. Even a second late and I'm out of there, got it?" Wally nodded. "Great, enjoy your evening. I need a shot after this."

"Why can't I come?" David asked. He wanted and needed to be there for his boyfriend but he'd been benched from coming along to the meeting. Dick sighed and checked his utility belt for bullets. He wasn't planning on killing the speedster. It was more of self-defense against the people trying to kill him. "You know why you can't come. I'm not having this conversation again," Dick snapped. He continued walking to the roof hoping that would be the end of it but the ginger followed him with a frown. 

"You're not in a good place," he pointed out.

"I'm aware of that but I'm a big boy and I can deal with big boy problems, can't I?" he responded, once again checking himself for everything. He had to triple check these days since things just seemed to slip past him. David blamed the workload of running a gang in two gang orientated cities and the constant reworking of accounts so they could keep the money they got from their illegal means. "I don't see why you owe him anything. He's the one who didn't accept you. You leaving him wasn't-"

"David, I love you but I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up right now. He was my best friend before being my boyfriend so maybe we can go back to being that." David grumbled unhappily, hating the thought of someone else as close as he was to his boss. He wasn't jealous. Just protective. Yes, he liked the sounds of that. Dick huffed and opened the door onto the roof. The city was alive as the last of its citizens either went home or to work. They'd be hoping for a quiet night without too much crime but that happened once in a blue moon. A shame really. Bludhaven was a beautiful place when you forgot about the crime rate. "Even so. You may think you're fooling me but you're not. You're not ready."

"I know what's going on in here," Dick replied, tapping the side of his head. "You don't. If I need you, I'll call." He kissed his cheek, intending on making the interaction short but David wrapped his arms around his waist to keep him close. "I'll be okay."

"I'll take the blame for killing him if things go south," David joked. He giggled at the taller and pulled away. "Don't wait up." Another kiss, this time on the other's forehead, and Dick was gone in the blink of an eye. The hitman sighed, looking out across the rooftops. He prayed it went well. Who knows where Dick's mental state was specifically at? Perhaps he was one push away from a mental break.

The rooftop in question was the top of a pharmacy adjacent to the apartment Dick once lived in with Wally. He perched himself on the edge and looked out. He'd avoided this place for a long time. He could stand the sight of it. His eyes squeezed shut as the memories shot through his mind. They were so painful to remember even though he'd come to terms with the life he left behind. That night was the turning point in his life. The night he realized being a hero was never going to make him happy and that he was better off on the other side. Wally had to witness that but he should've accepted him he loved him. He wasn't asking for him to join in. They could've had a relationship like Bruce and Selina but he threw it all away. It made him wonder if the love they shared was ever on the level he thought it was. "You're early," he said suddenly, feeling the presence of someone else on the roof.

"Didn't want to be late," the ginger reasoned. He joined Dick by the edge, not sitting too close as he didn't want to cross any boundaries. 

"Why are we doing this? I think we made it very clear how we felt about the situation," he stated, not looking at his ex. He remembered the shouting, the begging, the cursing out. To be fair on Wally, he had sprung it up rather abruptly. They hadn't talked about the topic at all then suddenly he stated he wanted to be the very thing they'd spent their lives fighting against. "That's why we had to talk. What I said was rougher than I meant it to be."

"Really? I thought when you called me a fucking idiot and an attention whore was quite clear."

"And when you called me an inconsiderate arsehole and an ignorant fuckwit I'm sure you meant it like that too," Wally countered. They chuckled at themselves. The fight sounded so childish when they thought about it together. They could've gone about it a better way but they were stubborn guys who didn't know any better. "I just didn't want to hear you're reasoning. I was scared," the speedster offered. "I didn't want to think ill of something I'd spent my entire life doing."

"Oh Walls, you'd never do that. You still have hope," Dick said, glancing at him. He noticed how nervous the ginger he looked. He almost felt bad about giving him a cold greeting. Almost. 

"You were such an optimistic kid. Did I do something wrong to make you turn?" He shook his head with a dark chuckle.

"You did nothing wrong, I'm just broken. Saw how well Jay was doing being an anti-hero and thought I could do more as that than a true blue hero."

"You're not broken. Just lost faith. You can still come back under a new alias," Wally suggested hopefully. He shook his head again, tightening his grip on the edge of the building. 

"You and I both know I couldn't. I'd have to find faith in something I no longer believe in," he replied.

"But you haven't! You've done so many good things even as a so-called villain." Dick finally gave him his full attention with a sad smile. 

"At the cost of so much that I can't get back." Wally reached over and took his hand in his, interweaving their fingers. The gesture was purely platonic, they both knew that any romance in their relationship had faded away. "That sounds like a hero to me."

They sat in comfortable silence together before Dick took a deep breath and sighed. "So, what do you want from this?" Wally looked at him with a sincere smile on his face. His eyes were welling up slightly which made Dick's eyes begin to water too. He didn't allow it though, quickly blinking them away. "I want my best friend back. I can't deal with anything if we're not at least on good terms," he explained, trying not to choke up. 

"I want to be friends with you again but I can't take another person telling me to come back to a life I don't want to live," Dick explained. He couldn't take another Bruce. It was already killing him to hear all of that but hearing double might just send him over the edge. 

"Dude, I can't say that I condone you killing people but I'm not going to be like Bruce and constantly rag on you for it. I get you're not the same guy you were when I took your V card-"

"You're so proud of that aren't you?"

"Fuck yeah I am. Point is, you're my best friend and I'll support you to an extent. Plus, maybe you can help me do undercover missions with your gang. You could be like my inside guy. My special connection." Dick laughed and squeezed the other's hand, silently agreeing to the terms. 

"I'd like that. Though David may be giving you side-eye the entire time," he explained. He could always keep the older inline. He had him wound around his little finger. 

"I can deal with that. It'll be like when we first started dating and Bats watched us like a hawk."

"Ah, the good old days."

Midnight and David was still waiting. He couldn't go to sleep. How he became so soft for his boss would forever be a mystery to him but it was a rather positive mystery. One that didn't involve some sort of murder or disappearance. He played with a poker chip from the game the guys had been playing before they left for the night. He spun it under his finger as his mind ran away with thoughts of what became of his boss. He and Wally wouldn't get back together, right? That ship had since sailed due to the whole fallen hero thing. Though there was always a chance that the old spark could be relit. What would become of him then? He didn't mind Dick having boy toys every so often to make things interesting or to get what he wanted but bringing Wally in wouldn't be something so meaningless. It would be charged with devotion and care. Nothing like some random guy that happened to be in a beneficial position. Would he then be pushed out? Being a hitman with nothing to come home to was a concept he was familiar with but he'd rather not go back to it. He liked coming home to a truly beautiful man who was there to bring him down from the adrenaline high. Dick would always be there to kiss his scratches and wrap up his wounds. He'd ramble to fill the silence in the most comforting ways and he always knew when to stop. God, it was all so perfect and he didn't want that speedster to ruin this life he'd made for himself. Arms suddenly draped over his shoulders but he didn't jump. He knew their owner instantly. Soft kisses landed on his neck, making his heart skip a beat. "Told you not to wait up."

"I wouldn't be much of a bodyguard if I slept on the job," he responded. Dick chuckled and moved to sit on his lap. He began running his fingers through the other's ginger hair, playing with it lovingly. "I doubt fucking the body you're guarding is any better," he joked, giving small pecks around David's scar. The taller's hands rested on his hips. Neither made any initial of something sexual. Neither really had it in them tonight. "How'd it go?"

"Better than expected. He just wanted to say his piece and I said mine." David hummed, holding on a little tighter only to receive a tut. "No need to get jealous, we're just friends. Though I do love it when you jealous."

"Evidently," he replied, regarding the dusting of pink on the acrobat's face. "To bed then?"

"Please. I need cuddles and Shrek." 

David tutted and stood up, carrying the smaller easily. He carried him to the bedroom and laid him down. He peppered kisses over the other's scars as he undressed him, knowing Dick was in that mood where he'd rather climb into bed with full combat gear on to get cuddles quicker rather than take them off and be more comfortable. He stripped him down to his boxers and tossed him a t-shirt. "Thank you, Daddy," Dick cheekily joked, watching him walk around to the other side of the bed and strip down before getting in. He slipped underneath the covers and was immediately brought into a tight hug. "Dick?"

"I'm fine. I just need this right now." David nodded and allowed him to snuggle up further. He put his arm around him and began playing with his hair, making his eyelids droop every now and then. He needed the sleep so he continued to do it purposefully. He turned on the TV and went on Netflix, playing the requested movie. "You'd support me whatever I do right?" Dick asked quietly.

"As long as it doesn't seriously hurt or kill you then yes. Why?"

"Just needed to hear it." He stifled a yawn and hid his face in the ginger's chest. "I love you." There was a beat of silence as there always was. He waited hesitantly, always wondering if this would be the night they took a few steps back. "Love you too. Now sleep."