harozm requested some panic attacks so here we go

I'm aware that people experience panic attacks in different ways, this is just how I experience mine and how my friends have their's too

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack

https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/anxiety-and-panic/how-to-deal-with-panic-attacks

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/panic-attacks/

You'd think after taking direct hits to the face of fear toxin since nine it would start to lose its potency. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Dick had had a turbulent Sunday night trying to recover and of course, his mentor was by his side the entire time to keep him calm. Yet, although the night had been long and terrifying even after the antidote was administered, he was still foolish enough to think he'd be fine for school on Monday. It came as quite a surprise to Bruce when he came trotting down the staircase in his school uniform. He looked tired. Really tired. Like one of those exaggerated cartoons of someone who was tired. His eyes were bloodshot from a mix of sobbing and sleeplessness. He walked over to the breakfast table with the best smile he could manage and got to eating. He was never really hungry after a night of fear toxin but he thought he better have something before braving the day. "I thought you were gonna have the day off? You normally do after a night like this," Bruce commented. 

"Yeah but I'm a teenager now so I should learn how to get over myself," he responded.

"We both know fear toxin is hard to get over. It's still in your system and you already have problems with panic attacks," he argued. He really didn't think this was a good idea but he knew Dick well enough. As soon as he left the house, he'd find a way to escape Alfred's watchful gaze and get to school somehow. He also knew that he pushed himself way too hard. He was thirteen, not an adult. There were still things that he needed to work through before he could just bounce back from the intensity of fear toxin. "B, I'll be fine. I'll just be a little antsy today but Babs will look out for me so it doesn't matter." Bruce sighed.

"Alright but I want to be contacted as soon as you feel something coming on, tell Barbara that too." He nodded.

Dick really thought he could get through the day. He was so sure that he could. He was the Boy Wonder, he could do anything. But now he was sat in Math and he felt like the room was collapsing around him. This class was one of the few he had with Barbara. He'd been moved up in the subject since he completed the necessary work early. He was grateful for that now more than ever. He was very self-aware when it came to his attacks. You have enough to know the warning signs and he could now hazard a semi-accurate guess as to how long he had before he went too far. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest like it was trying to escape. Dick tapped Barbara on her arm, something she knew meant he was about to have one. Only she was confused as to what triggered it. They were just doing silent independent work. Nevertheless, she put her hand up and caught the teacher's attention. The teacher glanced up at her, she cocked her head to Dick who was now getting short of breath. His eyes were focused on nothing but they could tell it wasn't just him daydreaming. The teacher gave her the nod of approval to take him out. She took Dick's hand carefully and helped him up. By now he was starting to shake so he was a little unsteady on his feet. It never set in this fast which only made him more panicked. Was the fear toxin still in his system? What if he got thrust into a hallucination? Everyone would stare at him for screaming at nothing. Someone could test him for it. They'd find he had it and put two and two together and find out he was Robin. Then they'd find out Bruce was Batman. Then that Babs was Batgirl. They'd all know and they'd have to leave Gotham. What if CPS took him away from Bruce and he went back to the prison? He didn't want to leave him. He'd break out but they'd always find him. Bruce would get in trouble for child endangerment. He'd get prison time. Years and years. What about Alfred? He'd be all alone. Commissioner Gordon would hate them for dragging in his daughter. They'd never see each other again. He didn't want to give all of this up. He was happier now. Happy as an orphan could be.

The ginger pulled him into the bathrooms, not giving one about it being the boys. Two younger students were in there skipping class and gave her a glare when she came in. "Hey this is our space," the smaller of the pair dared to say. She glared right back at them and let go of Dick's hand. She strode towards them and pulled them both up by their collars, their feet just above the floor. "And now it's mine. Beat it fuckwits." She let go of them and they ran out fearfully. She smirked to herself before getting back to her friend. Dick was breathing too fast. He wasn't even getting much oxygen because he was going so fast. She took off her blazer because this was the boy's bathroom and she didn't trust the floor not to give her friend some sort of disease. She laid it on the floor and gently got him to sit down. At least then if he passed out he wouldn't crack his head open on the tiles. "Dick, I need you to calm down. You're going to do yourself an injury," she told him, kneeling in front of him. She was glad this was the day she chose to wore pants. Did they even clean this floor? "C-ccall," he stuttered between rapid breaths. He tore his hands away and fished through his pockets whilst he still had some idea where he was. He handed over his phone, hoping she got what he needed her to do. "Am I calling Bruce?" she asked. He nodded. She unlocked his phone, internally cooing at the lock screen. It was the picture of her, Dick and Bruce on the log flume ride. It was the first time he'd ever gone to a theme park. He loved it and fell asleep in the car with a smile on his face. She shook the memory from her head and focused on what she had to do. She called Bruce and put the phone to her ear until the younger gripped her wrist to pull it away. "You want to listen to him?" she asked. He whimpered, too deep to get his mouth to listen to him anymore. "It's okay, I'll put him on speaker." The dial tone rang. One. Two- 

"Dick, are you okay?" Bruce answered.

"He's having a bad one. He wanted me to call you," Barbara responded.

"He had a shot of toxin last night, it'll prolong the attack and worsen its effects. Try to keep him calm whilst I get there okay?" She hummed.

"Great, can he hear me?"

"Yep."

"Good. I'm coming for you chum, okay? I'll be there real soon. I'm so proud of you for going into school today, you did really well." Yet his words fell on deaf ears. Dick swallowed thickly to try and bring some moisture to his mouth but it didn't work. He squeezed his eyes shut as though that would help but he saw flashes of that night. His eyes snapped open, panicked and unfocused. "You're in the bathroom remember? It's the one near English because the Math one had those stoners in it and I didn't have the heart to be mean to them," she told him, trying to make him laugh. It fell flat. Tears were rushing down his face as he realized he just couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe? He needed to breathe. "Dick, you've got to work with me. You need to take a deep breath," the almost human-shaped blob in front of him ordered. He tried to. He really tried to but he couldn't catch a break to take one. If he paused, what if he couldn't hit play again? Black spots rested at the corners of his eyes, waiting to pounce.

Barbara didn't know what to do. He should be coming down now but he was getting worse. His eyes were distant, miles away. Her heart raced when she noticed the small blue tint on the inside of his lips. "Just take one deep breath please," she begged.

"What's going on?" Bruce asked worriedly.

"His lips are going blue and I can't get him to slow down. How far away are you?" she responded. She gave Dick's hands a sharp squeeze to see if that would get some sort of reaction but she didn't get one. He was gone. His eyes were glassy with tears. 

"Approaching the school now. Where are you?"

"Boys toilets near English. Someone wrote trans rights on the door," she replied. "Hang on Dickie, your dad's coming. He'll make you feel better won't he?" She saw his lids get low. He was getting tired but she knew he wasn't going to sleep. The door to the toilets opened but before Bruce could even get a word in, Dick's eyes rolled back and he went limp. "Dick?" his friend called desperately. He didn't respond, just slumped further down the wall. 

"He fainted. Don't worry, he'll be fine. His body mustn't have been able to cope with the stress after last night," Bruce assured her. He knelt beside the boy and brushed the bangs out of his eyes. He'd been sweating buckets but that was to be expected. A fever was normal after fear toxin. "How much did he get last night?" Barbara asked, referring to the toxin. 

"A lot. Pushed me out of the way so he got the brunt of it," he answered.

"Dumbass." They chuckled. He scooped up his ward and headed towards the door where he was met by the security guard he ran past to get in. 

"Sir, I have to give you a- OH GOD DID ANOTHER ONE DIE IN HERE?"

"Another one?" Bruce questioned.

"Rich kids like cocaine," Barbara stated simply.

A comfortable bed definitely wasn't the last thing Dick had been in but he was pretty happy that this is where he ended up when he opened his eyes. He'd been rather content until a headache rolled in. He scrunched his face up at the painful pulsing and sat up. "Nice to see you in the land in the living," Bruce called from the doorway.

"I'd rather not be if it comes with a free headache," he replied flatly. In all honesty, he felt rather embarrassed that this had happened. He thought he could go the whole day just feeling unusually anxious. Bruce had been right. He nearly always was. Emphasis on always. Dick did still have some good ideas that went against his. But this was another time where he showed himself up. His mentor walked over and handed him a much-needed glass of water. "I don't know if you heard it earlier but I'll say it again. I'm proud of you for going into school today," he commented.

"You're proud of me for being dumb? How rude of you," the younger responded sarcastically.

"Dick, I'm proud of you for trying. You showed maturity today and it's great that you got so far."

"I messed up though. You had to come to get me. I showed that I should've listened."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. It took me years to bounce back from fear toxin and I was in my twenties. You're a kid and yet sometimes I find myself thinking how I could be as brave as you," Bruce insisted. The acrobat cackled softly, trying to play off the little blush he had. He could never take compliments. Well, ones from people he cared about at least.

"It'll be your fault if I get a massive ego," he said.

"I doubt that'll happen."

"Either way, thanks, dad."