'cause you won't like the scars he left in me

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MonsterHunter641 requested this one so I hope it turned out how you wanted!!




Jason liked Dick. He was a funny guy, he didn't snitch on him unless he was truly in danger and if a rule was stupid, he didn't enforce it. Jason would dare to say he was the big brother he never had. He offered a special type of advice that wasn't the same dumb stuff that all adults preached. He didn't say "be yourself", "you don't have to fit in", "just ignore them" or, and this was Jason's personal pet peeve, "you can do anything you set your mind to with hard work and practice." Dick was the type of guy who understood that life wasn't easy when the whole world was looking at you to do something amazing with your life both as a civilian and a hero. Everyone expected him to be the best thing since sliced bread. Dick just wanted him to be happy.


Unfortunately, the moments where they could just have fun were fleeting since Bruce always got in the way. He'd say something backhanded and when Dick naturally reacted to it, he'd act like he hadn't said anything at all. It wasn't completely one-sided. Dick could be bitchy when he wanted to be but he was more tactful. He didn't do it in front of Jason and kept it private. His visits to Gotham got shorter and farther apart until it got to the point where they saw each other on the news more than seeing one another in person. 


It affected all of them to see less of the acrobat. Jason understood he had his own life with the Titans but he couldn't deny that he missed him hanging around to give some levity. Bruce missed him too. He'd walk past Dick's bedroom and stand there staring as if that would magically bring his ward back into his life. He clearly regretted breaking their fragile trust but he struggled to express that without making everything worse. 


When he came up with the idea, Jason said no without any hesitation. It was misplaced at the very best and manipulative at the very worst. It made him feel gross. Bruce persisted though. He kept saying that Dick needed to come home and even though he had a good thing going with the Titans, he belonged in Gotham. He only got with them because he needed a new start but things had changed and he was part of the family. He should be with them. After much pushing and long conversations that felt like they were talking in circles, Jason agreed. 



It was around four in the morning when Dick got the call. He'd just finished a small patrol, something he could never shake the habit of even when it wasn't necessary, and he was making his way to bed after a much-needed hot shower. He groaned when he heard his ringtone but picked up all the same. 


"I need help," Jason had said. Immediately Dick's heckles were up and wrestled to get his Nightwing suit back on until he continued. "I need advice on how to be Robin and I know you're really busy with the Titans but I need you here." He let out a sigh of relief and gave up before he nearly toppled over from having one leg stuck in his pants. He thought back to his calendar and with some work, he could spare a few days to go back to Gotham. Donna wouldn't mind being a team member short when they didn't have any planned missions but he'd still have to be on call in case anything happened. Knowing her and his team, they'd only call him in if it was life or death.


"I can come over this weekend?"


"I mean all the time. This isn't a quick rest-stop motivation thing. I know Bruce is trying but I need a Robin to teach me this stuff. You know how he can be."


"You mean like you want me to move back to Gotham? You know I can't really afford to move out right now." 


He could but he'd have to get the shittiest flat in Gotham and honestly, he didn't want to go back there. He loved living with the Titans, there was always life in the place which he'd missed so much from when he lived in the circus. This space felt as much like his as it was theirs and he didn't want to walk away from it even if it was helpful to Jason. Besides, he wasn't cut out to be a mentor. He'd only just gotten his life together and he still made mistakes. Experience could only go so far. 


"You could come home." 


Dick's breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to go back to the manor, he didn't want to step foot in the manor and every drive up to meet Jason even when they met outside of the manor made him tight-chested. It wasn't home anymore even if he'd once said that it was home. He also once thought of Bruce as more than a vigilante mentor but he knew better now. He cared about Jason a lot but no care in the world could make him go back there permanently or for longer than a few days. Even those few days feel like eternity.


"I can't do that."


"C'mon, you know Bruce isn't the best with this stuff and you were the blueprint for sidekicks. Can't you do this one thing for me? I promise I'll make it up to you."


"It's a big thing to ask of me. I've got a whole team to manage now, my own city to look after and to be honest, I just don't feel comfortable there anymore." There was a long pause when he thought that Jason finally got the picture before he heard a huff of breath.


"The other Titans can handle all that. Maybe this time will be different. It's been ages since your fight and you're not Robin anymore anyway."


"It's more than the Robin fight- I'm saying no, Jay."


"But you promised you'd help me!"


"And I will but I can't go back there."


"Great so you'll help me unless it's too much effort. I've got the message loud and clear." 


"It's not about the effort," he said quietly. He was too tired to have this conversation at this hour. "Why don't you come over this weekend and we'll sort this out okay? You can meet the Titans and get some different views on stuff. It'd be nice for you to meet Kori too since we've been steady for so long and there's no way I'm letting B near her. How's that sound?"


"Fine." The line went dead and he heaved a sigh. Dick understood that the new Robin was struggling. He wanted to make sure he felt supported but he had to protect himself. Bruce wasn't the person he thought he was.




"I'm going over there this weekend and I guess I'll try to convince him more when I get over there. Happy now?" Jason asked through gritted teeth once he hung up. He felt as dirty as he thought he would.


"I will be when he comes home. I know this doesn't feel right but he belongs here, he's just forgotten that he's welcome back." He rolled his eyes. Bruce could be the densest person in the world when he wanted to be and this was one of those times. He was completely unaware of why this plan wouldn't work unless he took accountability. It was just sad to see a father so desperate to reconnect but wholly unable to understand why they lost touch in the first place.


"It never feels like he's welcome here, you get that, don't you? Every time he comes home, you poke the bear until he explodes and then act like you're an innocent bystander. If this works, you have to change when he gets here or he'll just run away again."


"Things will be different this time, I assure you."


"They better be."




Jason stood outside awkwardly, waiting for Dick to come out of the building to collect him. He thought the tower being shaped like a massive T was a bit on the nose but it matched the level of camp he associated with the acrobat. No doubt he had a hand in the design. It was interesting that the tower was removed from the city, sitting on its own spot of land in the middle of the river that divided Jump City. 


The door opened and Dick walked out with a few of his teammates close behind him. The first person Jason picked out was Starfire mainly due to how bright she was. Even in civilian clothing, she stuck out with her long curly red hair that really earned her the title of Starfire. Her skin looked like the hottest part of a flame. She hovered alongside Dick, almost reaching for his hand but stopping herself like she was nervous about how Jason would react. 


Then he noticed Donna and Wally. He thought it was weird that the whole team hadn't come out to greet him but maybe they thought it would be overwhelming to meet so many new people. He was thankful for that because if he was honest, it would be a little much to meet all of them at once. 


"Glad you could make it," Dick greeted, immediately ruining his hair by tussling it. 


"Yeah, well it's good to go somewhere that you can actually see the sun."


"Gotham doesn't have a sun?" Kori whispered.


"There's a lot of smog," Dick whispered back, gaining an understanding nod. "As you can see, we're a little low on numbers. The others are shopping for a new couch after game night."


"What happened on game night?"


"Let's just say Dick is a capitalist boot licker and I embraced anarchy," Donna answered, lightly shoving Dick.


"Don't hate the player, hate the game."


"Safe to say, Monopoly is banned now," Wally concluded. "It's nice to meet you. It's also nice to see you're double Dick's height when he was your age. I was seriously concerned about my back."


"I was average height!"


"Average height of a five-year-old."


"Are you going to introduce us or would you rather bicker?" Kori asked. 


"Right sorry. Jason, this is Koriand'r, Wally and Donna. Let's get you inside, your Gotham skin is gonna burst into flames at some point." Jason rolled his eyes and punched him in the arm before they brought him inside.




After an hour of being there, Jason understood why Dick was reluctant to come back. They interacted with one another so easily. There were no awkward pauses or second-guessing of jokes. They knew each other like the back of their hand. They extended the same energy to Jason despite him not earning it anyway. He thought they'd have a grudge against him for replacing their friend but if they did, they never showed it. 


"So, are we vetting you for a spot on the team? I don't know if we have enough rooms," Wally asked. "We're not married to Teen Titans but you would fit the name. Soon it'll be the Twenties Titans."


"We're not calling ourselves that," Donna reassured him. "But if you want to, we can find the space."


"You guys sound like you're trying to get me into a cult," Jason joked. For a moment, he thought he'd overestimated his place there. He thought he'd get a few cold looks or their smiles would slide off their faces. Yet they laughed. 


"We're more like a pound for strays," Dick chuckled. 


"Well, the offers there. There's only so much Batman someone can take," Donna muttered. Ah. That's why they weren't off with him. They blamed Bruce. It made him feel all the more two-faced when he was only there to drag Dick back to Gotham. "Speaking of, how're you handling things? I can always get Diana on him if he's being too hard on you."


"They're going well but it would be better if Dick was around more," he answered. He must've misstepped because they all turned to look at the acrobat to somehow gauge how they should react. He internally cringed at laying it on too thick and almost giving away the game. He could almost hear Bruce's lecture on keeping a poker face and not showing your hand too early. 


"We'll work on it, Jay," he said with a sort of disappointment that was hard to place. Was he hoping the visit would change Jason's mind or was he hoping it wouldn't be brought up so early? "Kori, could you keep an eye on him? I just remembered I needed to talk to Walls and D about our schedules." The alien smiled and kissed his cheek.


"I'd love to." 




It was as Koriand'r sat down next to him that Jason thought she'd caught onto his plan. He couldn't say why exactly but there was something about her energy. It was a weird gut feeling that made his skin crawl uncomfortable. The last thing he wanted was to piss off the alien warrior princess who everyone knew loved her boyfriend dearly. He probably wouldn't make it two minutes even with his fighting progress.


"I truly am pleased to meet you," Koriand'r began. "Dick speaks well of you."


"He talks about you too. He really likes you," he responded, trying to match her casualness.


"I like him too. I want to assure you that he is well looked after here. He is much happier than when I first met him."


"He seems it."


"So why are you trying to bring him back to Gotham?" He was sure all the blood had drained from his face at that moment. "I know it is not your idea."


"How?"


"By the way you watch him. You can see he is happy, happier than you have known him to be when he comes back, yet you push. A person who wants someone in their life would know that sometimes it is better to be apart than force them to return to a part of their life they want to leave behind." She rested a hand on his shoulder. "Your brother cares dearly for you. It is the type of sibling love that I am quite envious of. If you do wish for him to return then I fear you fail to show him the same care he shows you."


"Bruce says things will be different this time."


"Has he shown that he will do as he says?" Jason wanted to nod but found he was already shaking his head. "Then perhaps it is better to say you failed this mission so you do not fail your brother. Dick will always care about Bruce but they are damaged and coming together too early will only damage them further. I think it best to speak with Dick about why he will not return."


"You really do love him, don't you?"


"With everything I am. Trust me, had I thought you came here of your own volition with the intentions you pretend to have, I would not have been so kind." She took her hand away and he very much believed that she was telling the truth. "I meant what I said about being pleased to meet you. He speaks about you with such pride despite your less-than-pleasant beginning." She took a breath and then wore a bright smile. "Now that is over, you must be hungry. On my planet, it is custom to serve the guest their favourite meal but since I am still banned from using the oven, your favourite snack will have to do."


"Do you have Neopolitan ice cream?"


"I do not know! We shall have to see." He had to laugh at her enthusiasm despite having no clue what he was talking about. She was perfect for Dick.




Now armed with a bowl of ice cream, he found Koriand'r was a lot easier to talk to. She spoke about how she and Dick first met, the strange things humans said with complete confidence and how she was banned from using the oven. The team sounded so much like family that it was hard to believe they'd only been together for just over a year. It was all the more reason why Dick didn't want to return to Gotham. 


Dick returned to the room looking a little out of it. His friends wore a slightly concerned expression yet obviously tried to hide it from Jason. He wished he'd come here just to hang out like Dick wanted instead of having an agenda to bring him back. After talking with Koriand'r, he decided that he needed to put the matter to rest.


"Hey, could we talk one on one for a minute?" he asked. Dick tensed.


"Sure. We'll see you guys later." Koriand'r gave them both an encouraging look as they left the room. After, she turned to her friends with a questioning look to which they shook their heads.




They took a breather on the roof, a natural safe haven for the Gotham vigilantes. There was always something warm about it that others didn't really understand. The Tower overlooked the city and the water surrounding their small island. It was pretty and Jason got why Dick would want to stay here. It reminded him a little bit of Wayne Manor which sat further from the main city, making you feel a part of it without feeling overwhelmed by everything constantly bustling around you. It was peaceful. The place in general felt so lived in and warm that even when you were alone in a room, you never felt lonely. There was someone somewhere happy to see you and willing to spend time with you without talking about work. Jason liked it.


"Can I ask you something?" Jason asked reluctantly. 


"Sure," Dick answered.


"Why won't you come back? I get you're happy here and you have a girlfriend but Gotham was your home."


"It was but so is Jump City. I was a circus kid, I'm used to never staying in one place for long and the longest place I ever stayed was Gotham."


"But why won't you come back?"


"Bruce and I were thick as thieves but it was always so much work to be that way. I think the only reason we got so close was because of Robin. He was fine putting me through nearly losing him over and over but when he got the same treatment, he couldn't handle it. Why was it okay to put a kid through it but not himself?" He paused as he thought over something.


"Dick, I want you to be honest. I don't care if you talk about me replacing you."


"You're more mature than people think. Than I think," he replied with a soft smile that just oozed pride. Jason would always remember it. "Losing Robin hurt. It's not just a name and a bunch of bright saturated colours. Robin was the nickname my mother gave me and the colours are from our performance outfits. It's a love letter to my parents."


"I didn't know that," Jason admitted. It felt shameful to say it. He knew there was meaning to the suit he wore but he couldn't help but feel like a fraud now hearing the actual meaning. He always thought it was like the Batman suit. A symbol of hope. 


"I never knew if I should tell you," the older told him. "I felt so betrayed that Bruce could risk his life, he could watch me get traumatised over and over but the moment he got a taste of my life, he couldn't do it anymore. If he truly understood that fear, he should've quit Batman too. Plus, it wasn't just about Robin. I felt underappreciated and tired of always having to hold his hand through parenting me. I was eight, I shouldn't have to parent myself."


"He's gotten better."


"He's different with you. I think that's because he learned from his mistakes but that doesn't just void it," he explained. "I was a kid. I don't regret becoming Robin young but I shouldn't have to look after an adult before I knew what being an adult was like."


"I get that. I love my mum a lot but I shouldn't have done all that I did for her. It's a parent's job to protect their kid."


"You did right by your mum, Jason. I hope I did right by Bruce. I just can't go back to the life I had before, feeling unsupported and like the rug could be pulled out from under me at any point. I'm happy here. I don't think I'll ever go back to Gotham and I'm sorry that I can't."


"You're not sorry that you can't, you're sorry that you can't for me and that's okay but I don't want to go months without seeing you. Even if we meet and it's just us out of costume. I need someone who gets what I'm going through as Jason and Robin."


"I can do that. You know, you could stay here sometimes. When B gets too much."


"I'd like that," Jason replied. He thought it best not to disclose Bruce's plan. The pair were already in a volatile place and it wouldn't do any good. He could pretend this was his idea for now. That's if Koriand'r didn't tell him.

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