Prompt: Borrowed Hoodie

Been big on this ship so you'll be seeing it a lot

Being a vigilante was awful on your body. Superheroes got away with it most of the time with accelerated healing or not having the ability to be hurt in the first place. It took a lot to give them lasting physical effects that regular humans got from any high-impact high-energy job. 

Dick soon realised that when he set the ball rolling at nine years old, there was no way to slow it down. The constant training, the frequent fights and torture and everything else that went into the job meant that he hadn't had a day without some sort of pain in years. He couldn't pinpoint the day it started nor when the pain got so bad that if he attempted to work, patrol and go to a gala in one night then he could kiss goodbye to whatever plans he had for the day after. Sometimes days after. 

The worst offenders for the pain were his right knee from where he'd been shot and his shoulders from the constant jolt of catching himself or tumbling onto concrete rooftops, on flare-up days that left him struggling to leave his bed unassisted and move his arm any higher than his chest without a sharp digging pain striking him.  On those days, he was constrained to his bedroom and didn't leave until he had to. He'd wait until he got in a good few hours of rotting in bed before dragging himself to the bathroom since warm baths seemed to help ease his symptoms even for a few minutes. He'd get as much work he could get done remotely and then turn in for the night ultimately feeling like he wasted the entire day.

There was an odd shame that came with it. He couldn't place it. If he saw anyone else with the same symptoms, he'd assure them they weren't a burden and it was okay to not be 100% every day. When it came to him though, the perspective changed. Sure he had every reason to have flare-ups. He put his body through a lot for a majority of his life even before he was a hero. He fought back against so many bed rest orders and did the opposite of whatever a doctor told him so why would he now listen to his body demand that he rest? How could he make himself worse when he was sick but not try when he got aches and pains no doctor could explain other than chronic pain?

Dick had spent the day prior knowing he would suffer today. He had to wake up early to drive to Gotham where he met with Damian. Then he had a meeting with Bruce to go over a future mission and got his fill on passive-aggressive comments for the month. After that, there was a coffee meet-up with Barbara, followed by a one-to-one with Duke to see how he was adjusting to life in the manor. He drove to Jump City to check with the Titans and had a quick dinner date with Kori before he drove back to Gotham for a charity benefit as Nightwing since Bludhaven was partnered with the charity. To top off the night, he drove home and went out as Nightwing patrolling the city until four in the morning thanks to a last-minute drug bust that turned out to be a front to a bigger operation than he had expected. He collapsed in bed at five am, scrolled his phone until six then closed his eyes when the sun rose.

An intense throbbing pain in his right knee pulled him from blissful unconscious and made sure he remembered that he couldn't sleep away the flare-ups. He sighed to himself and reached over to his bedside drawer to grab a pack of gum. At least his mouth wouldn't smell as gross as he felt, he thought to himself as he popped a few pieces into his mouth. He pushed himself up so his back rested against the headboard and used one of the pillows to prop up his knee slightly to take the edge off. He checked his phone to see what fun he'd be missing out on today and was greeted with a text from Kori.

Miss you

Dick smiled to himself.

Miss you too

Come over

I'm busy today

With what?

Work

Three dots lit up on the screen, disappearing and reappearing. He imagined Kori on the other end trying to decide if she wanted to start an argument or be understanding. She was probably weighing up her options, maybe asking someone else what she should say. He vaguely knew of a partner support group she'd been added to. They had probably lambasted him on multiple occasions. 

Either she couldn't pick an approach or decided to give him silent treatment as the three dots didn't come back. He wondered briefly if he should explain the real reason but that shame stopped him before he could even type out the first letter. She worried enough about him, she didn't need anything else on her mind especially when she was in charge of the team and their missions. He couldn't help but be slightly disappointed that she'd abandoned the conversation but he couldn't blame her. He'd be annoyed too if he wanted to be with his partner only for them to say no. He switched to some stupid mobile app with too many ads to kill some time. 

After seeing a fifth ad for Mistplay, he abandoned the game and forced himself to at least get dressed. It would be a small show of productivity but it would stave off the feeling of being a lazy lowlife for a while. He swivelled so his feet hit the floor and was immediately stopped by the pain in his knee suddenly shooting all the way up to his hip. A hiss left his lips and he abandoned the original plan of going to the dresser for clean clothes. He'd have to make do with whatever was thrown on his floor. His Nightwing suit was out of the question and he shoved it under the bed just for taunting him. 

For pants, his options were shorts or joggers with a curry stain on them. Joggers provided the semblance of lounging around by choice but they had the horrible habit of pushing themselves up whenever he went under the sheets. Shorts would give him better access to his knee if he ever had the will to get an ice pack for it. Shorts it was.

For tops, there was only Kori's zip-up hoodie. His aching shoulder sighed in relief at not being pushed to put a shirt over his head and his knee rejoiced in not having any added pressure from walking to the dresser. He also didn't protest much to the idea. It still smelled like her despite being there for at least a week. That was probably gross but love made people gross. 

He'd bought Kori the hoodie a year ago, a not so anniversary present, in the biggest size possible so it was still comfortably baggy despite her muscles and height. He smiled to himself as he remembered when she last wore it, the sleeves coming down so far only the tips of her fingers were shown. She grinned when she noticed him staring. Dick's smile fell when he glnaced back to his phone to see he was still left on read.

The hoodie completely swamped him just as he imagined it would. He revelled in it, feeling safe with a small piece of his girlfriend wrapped around him. Flare-ups left him vulnerable and he dreaded the day a villain got lucky with their timing. He supposed if told someone, he wouldn't have to worry but he cringed at the thought of the conversation. Along with the shame, there was a protectiveness over himself. He didn't want people to constantly check in with him and set aside their plans in order to save him these days. They'd think they were being helpful and he'd have to grin and bear it because to say it wasn't would be selfish. 

Hours went by and he settled into a brain numbing cycle of scrolling social media, watching youtube videos and playing mobile games. Every now and then the pain would spike drastically causing him to jolt in discomfort and pray some powerful narcotic would appear by chance in his bedside draw to take the edge off. Sleep would put him out of his misery but he'd been through enough of these days to not bother tossing and turning with no reward.

His cycle was broken by the sound of his front door closing. There were no footsteps that followed and he wondered if they were trying to hear for life inside of the apartment. He quickly paused the video so the sound wouldn't draw whoever it was to his bedroom. The sound of a crinkly plastic bag with something inside had him calmer. What attacker brought a goodie bag with them? Still, he wasn't put at ease. He glanced around his room for a weapon that didn't blow his secret identity out of the water which left him with his phone, pillows and a lamp. The lamp would have to do. He unplugged it from the socket and held it up, ready to throw it with no real plan on what to do after.

A few seconds passed and he saw the door's handle tilt. He held his breath as the door was pushed open and he was about to throw the lamp before he saw familiar red curls. A sigh of relief left him as he met eyes with Kori.

"Expecting someone?" she asked with a slightly bemused smile. He shook his head with a half hearted laugh and put the lamp down. "You weren't in your office."

"Nope."

"Working hard?" she inquired, now more serious. He knew what it looked like. It seemed like he'd blown off hanging out with her just to stay in bed all day but he hoped she would realise that wasn't something he'd do. In all the time of knowing him, days in bed were rare and self care days even rarer. It didn't seem like she got there yet as she put her hands on her hips. "I picked up a few things because I knew if you were working, you would forget to eat. Imagine my surprise finding you comfy in bed with my hoodie."

"Uhm," he began with no explanation coming to mind.

"You could have just said you didn't want to hang out," she said, disappointment dripping from her words.

"I did want to see you. It's just..."

"Just what?" she replied. 

"It's nothing to do with you," he settled on. Dick already knew he chose the wrong wording before he even got to the end of the sentence. 

Kori opened her mouth to ask what the hell that was supposed to mean but she paused. He wasn't sure what had made her notice the pillow cushioning her knee but it had her eyes fixed on it. She raised a curious eyebrow and floated over to investigate. There was nothing on the surface to indicate injury other than the old scars from his surgery and subsequent leg brace. She now looked confused and glanced up to him for an explanation. He looked away shamefully. 

"Are you hurt?" she inquired. He shook his head. "Are you hurting?" she rephrased. He hesitated to nod. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Her confusion grew. 

"It just hurts?" she questioned, a little skeptical. He shrugged then instantly regretted it as his shoulder throbbed. She saw him wince and her skeptism lessened. "Your shoulder hurts too?" He hummed. "Can I see?"

"You won't see anything," he told her. He sometimes wished there was evidence. Some red raw skin or swelling just to prove he wasn't losing his mind and imagining the agony.

"You know you can tell me if something is wrong, don't you? I may not understand but I will try." He remained quiet. "I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

"You can't help." She frowned.

"Why not? If you're hurting then I can get you an ice pack, some painkillers-"

"It's not something that goes away," he admitted. She still didn't understand though and he knew as he was backed into a corner, he would have to say something now. "It's a constant thing."

"The pain? It always hurts?" she clarified. He nodded.

"Some days worse than others," he mumbled. It was everybit as embarrassing as he thought it would be.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He went quiet again. Kori sat down beside him and put a hand on his cheek that he leaned into. "I wouldn't tell anyone, you know that."

"I didn't want you to worry," he answered hoping that would satisfy her. When her thumb gently brushed against his cheek as if to coax him into the safety he always found in her. It worked because it always did. "I didn't want things to change."

"Why would that be a bad thing?"

"Because then every date night would turn into a conversation about my pain level and eventually we'd get onto being Nightwing and we'd just argue about that. We already know you'll live longer than me even if I get up there in age and I already hate that one day you'll be looking after me. I don't want that day to come any sooner than it needs to," he answered, throwing his hands up in defeat. He tugged on the borrowed hoodie's strings. "What if you saw how often it gets too much and decide it's not worth it?"

"Does this pain effect your head too because you're not making any sense," she joked lightly. He didn't smile. "Dick I love you. I will always love you. I've seen you through worse."

"Have you?" She drew her hand away, immediately knowing what he was referring to. He caught her wrist. "Sorry."

"It's not a matter you should apologize for. It's a matter I have a life time to make up for," she replied sternly. "Is that another reason you didn't tell me?"

"No, I don't think so." She nodded. "Like I said, it's nothing to do with you. I'm just- I'm human. Humans get wear and tear. Especially in this job."

"I can't make it go away but I can help in some way," she offered. "Have you been here all day?"

"Hard to walk around with my knee."

"Then that's a way I can help. I can bring you food and drinks."

"You don't have to dote on me."

"I want to. I missed you," she said. He smiled at her.

"I missed you too."