SIDE EFFECTS COMING BACK WITH AVENGENCE BABYYYY

Set after the side effects pt 3 part where Dick now lives in the manor with Haley who is trained as a service dog because we all know that dog is an emotional support dog in canon you can't tell me any different

Tim woke up with everything aching. His last patrol had been far too long and admittedly understaffed. He should've brought someone along but the only person free was Dick and he was benched until his seizures were under control. Maybe even after that. He dragged himself out of bed and to the kitchen to start his first cup of coffee for the day. He wondered what Dick was going to do today. Probably just went over reports since that was all he was cleared to do in terms of work. 

Part of him wanted to hang out with the older. He found that their time together had become all the more precious since his head injury and subsequent mind-altering by the Court of Owls and Joker. They didn't talk about it much, more of a preference on Dick's part than his own. It wasn't weird to pretend things were normal and he was just hanging about the manor but it was certainly an elephant in the room he tried very hard not to address. Instead, they just caught up and went over cases they were each struggling with. Tim had to admit that sometimes he pretended to struggle on a case to give him and Dick something to talk about and he wasn't entirely sure that the acrobat was buying his act.

He would also admit that he wanted to be there in case something happened. Dick being on his own made him uneasy. Anything could happen and no one would be there to help. The house was so big that if he regressed far enough, he could get lost and if he shouted for help, it wouldn't travel. If he had a seizure in a random room, none of them would know to go there and he'd be trapped waiting for it to be over. Tim knew Dick could survive a lot of things and he was incredibly independent but sometimes it was simply better to be around others.

Another part of Tim wanted to be on his own in case the side effects came back which was a contradiction if he ever knew one. Even though he wanted to be there, seeing the effects were hard. He didn't like seeing Dick confused about who he was and where he was, not understanding why his body was so different and struggling to trust the people he no longer recognised. He hated that his big brother wouldn't have any warning signs that today would be a day he forgot or today would be the day he had another seizure or severe migraine that left him curled up in bed defenceless. His friends told him it was normal to have his thoughts contradicted and he wasn't being mean by not wanting to be there sometimes but that didn't make him feel any less guilty for hoping he wouldn't have to deal with it.

As he made his coffee, Dick came into the room slowly like he was testing the waters. He seemed tired and tense maybe because he thought Bruce was in the kitchen ready to give him that look like he was dying. Bruce had one of the best poker faces as Batman but he seemed to falter when it came to one of their own being hurt. That being said, Tim couldn't say he hadn't given Dick the same look on occasion.

Haley circled Dick's feet, always underfoot and by his side. She simply adored him and whilst she tolerated everyone else it was clear who her favourite person in the world was. Tim was surprised to find Ace had also joined them since the hound hadn't been all that happy to share his space with the excitable three-legged dog but maybe he was warming up to her as his owner had warmed to a bubbly acrobat coming into his life.

"Hi," Dick greeted awkwardly. The sort of cadence you greeted a retail worker at check out when all you wanted was not to be perceived but they'd already said hello and it would be too awkward to not respond. Tim wrote it off as him not waking up properly yet or having a headache. He smiled softly and poured another cup of coffee he probably needed. Dick took his coffee like a menace, black with four heaping spoonfuls of sugar. 

"Hey, how'd you sleep?"

"Fine, I think," he replied. His eyes drifted around the room, narrowing in some places, before he looked back to the teen. "I just- this is going to sound stupid but do you know me?" Tim paused his actions. Fuck. He tried not to let the panic read on his face.

"I do know you."

"I know you," Dick continued as though working out a puzzle. It brought some peace of mind to know this wasn't a full episode of amnesia. He'd been having more partial ones now and whilst they were worrying, it wasn't as heartstoppingly concerning. They were usually short, no more than twenty minutes, and he was fairly manageable throughout them. "You're Tim."

"I am." That was good.

"Do you know where I am?"

"You're in Wayne Manor. You're staying here remember?" He began to nod and then smiled brightly, finally having all the pieces in order.

"Yeah, I moved back in," he said. Then his smile faded and he looked disappointed in himself. He couldn't control it but it was understandable. He wanted progress immediately and that's just not how his brain worked. "Sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about," Tim assured him although it didn't look like he believed him. "What's your plan for the day?"

"Don't know yet. Gonna feed these two first before I do anything. Haley has taken to biting my toes to wake me up for breakfast the little nut," he replied, patting the offender on the head before going to the cupboard of pet food. "What about you?"

"Work," the younger replied. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment. He had to get used to the side effects and Dick probably wanted a human to hang out with since he spent most of his days with Haley whilst everyone else slept like the dead from long patrols. "Unless you wanna hang out which I'm down for. If you wanted to." He cringed at himself.

"You don't have to pity me, Tim," he said seriously. He didn't look at his brother as he set about feeding Haley. She jumped around him excitedly and her whole body wagged along with her tail in stark contrast to how defeated he looked. "I know I make you uncomfortable."

"You don't," Tim replied instantly. 

"I do and that's okay. I would rather you be honest than spare my feelings."

"Where's all this coming from?" He shrugged and went to the hob, pulling out a skillet and cracking an egg into it whilst Haley and Ace tucked in. It was a little early to have a conversation like this but with this family, there would never be a good time to have it. Tim took the hint that this wouldn't be a short conversation so he took a seat on the breakfast bar. It was the least he could do after initiating the question.

"Everyone has been distant lately. Even Babs which I get. She has to do everything and I'm pretty sure I'm giving her flashbacks to when she couldn't work anymore so it's not like I'm bitter about her not visiting," he began. "I just- I get why I'd make you uncomfortable and it's natural that when you're uncomfortable you act weird around the person doing it and avoid them."

"It's not you. It's just a lot to deal with."

"I know," Dick muttered, gripping the spatula tighter. For being the smartest guy in the room most of the time, Tim had an incredible knack for saying the stupidest of things. 

"But that's not your fault," he quickly added.

"Is it not?"

"Why would it be?"

"If I hadn't been so horrible to you guys in the beginning-"

"You were being manipulated, it's not your fault."

"I left you guys after years of saying I wouldn't. I was horrible when I didn't know who I was and I don't know if that's because I was being manipulated or if that's because without all the shit that happened to me, I'm just a jerk. Now my brain is scrambled," he ranted. He glared at the eggs in the pan and found some humour in the irony of it. "Plenty to be uncomfortable about and more to be sorry for." He broke his concentration and turned so he could look at Tim. "So I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend you're not uncomfortable. Makes me feel like I'm here to pity."

"I think," Tim began slowly. He considered his answer carefully. He didn't want to lie but he didn't want to confirm anything in case this was just Dick having a bad day and he wasn't looking for agreement. "I think we should talk about this after breakfast and not here. You wanna go to my room or yours?"

"Mine. It's more familiar."

Once they'd eaten, Dick turned out to have been making breakfast for both of them despite Tim not asking for such a thing and they made another cup of coffee each before they went up to Dick's room. Haley followed close behind and immediately jumped onto the bed where she waited until Dick had also sat down to invade his lap and settle down for a mid-morning nap. He chuckled to himself at her antics and made no attempt to move her. She was quite happy there. 

"Hard to believe she bit you when you first found her," Tim commented as he sat on the other end of the bed. Despite it being the same one from his childhood, the acrobat's bed was always double or triple the space he needed. 

"Puppies are like babies, they bite things to test boundaries and explore. To be fair, I was wearing a mask and swinging from buildings, I'd be confused if I were a dog too," he joked. She huffed at him and nipped at his finger as if to prove a point. He kissed her forehead and she seemed content to settle. "I'm sorry I sprung this on you. I didn't mean to but it's been playing on my mind lately."

"It's okay. If I'm honest, I feel like this is overdue. I've been feeling a little guilty because I'm not taking this as well as I thought I would. I thought I'd just take it and run with it but I'm still standing there looking at it like it's the first time," Tim admitted. "It's not that you make me uncomfortable, it's the stuff surrounding you. None of it is your fault."

"I don't believe that I didn't have any part of it," Dick replied. "I think I could've gone with you when you first tried to convince me something was going on with me. I think I could've been there more. I think that somehow, someway, I could've prevented this."

"Now, I'll stop you right there," he interjected. "I'm happy to talk about this but we're not turning it into you talking like you're supposed to be omnipotent. You had no memories of us. You had no reason to trust us and you had no reason to come back here or believe me when I said something was wrong. We were strangers to you. You're definitely not at fault for everything that happened. There was no way you could've predicted it." 

The acrobat accepted defeat on that point. He had an awful habit of thinking he was supposed to know every little thing that would go wrong but only knew they went wrong after living through them. Tim knew it was a fault all of them had but he noticed it a lot with his eldest brother as though through being Batman's first protege, he was supposed to know better.

"So, what is it exactly that makes you uncomfortable?" Dick asked, knowing there was no point in arguing his point any further.

"It's the dangers now. I know our job is serious and we could die all the time, some of us have but this is different. You forgot where you were, you forgot that I knew you, all of that is just from this morning and I know it's shitty to sit here and complain about it since you live it but you don't want me to lie to you," he answered. "I'm scared that one day I'm going to come home and you'll be gone because you had a seizure or you panicked and fell from somewhere or a thousand different things that could happen to you now."

"I'm not scared of that if it's any help," Dick offered. 

"How can you not be scared of that? We don't know the extent of the damage that's been done to your brain because you weren't honest about having a history of seizures! Who knows what else you're not being honest about or you've forgotten about or you simply don't know because you avoid doctors like the plague which I get but how can you not be scared?"

"I'm just...not. I can't tell if it's because I'm not scared or because I just don't care. I can't be Nightwing, I can't have a normal job, I can only do so much hero work." Dick scratched behind Haley's ear and she leaned into his hand with complete trust she never showed to anyone else. "I'm not scared that any of this will kill me."

"Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you looking after yourself? Or do you just not care about anything? Because I get not wanting to but we need to know that so we can step in."

"I don't know," the acrobat said shamefully. "I don't know what to do with my life now. I can be like Babs, turn into some sort of Oracle but I'm not a tech wizz like her. Can't get a normal job. I don't want to stay around here sponging off of Bruce but I can't live on my own. If this never gets better then I'm stuck." He swallowed thickly. "I don't want to make the only people who are making this worth fighting uncomfortable."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Not really. Can't exactly make me who I was before."

"But we can make it easier to live with." Dick considered the offer.

"It'd be nice to still train with you guys even if I can't go and help. Maybe work on mission support like Babs did. I'd like some help with remembering the basics. Most days when it's just Alfred here I stay in bed unless Haley needs something. I think that makes her upset as much as she loves sleeping," he suggested.

"Then let's do that. I think it might help to actually talk about your feelings too. We're not the most emotionally available family around but we want you to be okay. As much as I'm sure Haley helps, she's not exactly great at giving advice."

"Yeah, it's usually just telling me to feed her and play fetch," Dick joked, bringing some much-needed lightness to the conversation. Haley's ears perked up and the once relaxed dog now bounced around him excitedly before running to grab a toy. "Damn it, I forgot to spell it."

"Y'know, playing fetch with a dog that doesn't treat it like a life or death mission sounds fun. I think we could use some air." Haley pounced back on the bed with a tennis ball and dumped it in Dick's hand. "Is that Ace's?"

"Don't tell Damian."