Hey Readers,

This was another old Songfic that i had written During "Jail Track".

Consider that i just Forgot to post it here.

Note : This is written From Avni's POV in first Person, after she comes out of Jail and knew About Neil's Truth(that He sent Her in Jail only to Protect Her From Vidyut's ploy.)

Bold lines - Lyrics of Song "Jar of Hearts" from Christina Perry.!

I hope you have a happy read.

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AvNeil OS (SongFic) : "Jar Of Hearts..!!"

After a span of a couple of months, I am sleeping, or rather trying to sleep, on a soft bed instead of that papery thin mat on jail's hard cemented floor. Still I was turning and tossing restlessly without even an ounce of sleep in my eyes, which was as distant from me as Moon.

6 Months..!!!!

That is the exact stretch of time I have Lived in confinement of four walls with an atrociously undigestible blemish, on my otherwise pristine Character, of a Murder Suspect slash CONVICT, if ACP Neil Khanna's words to be reverbarated. Those two words with only a minor difference in their meaning, yet can pose a dangerously major impact on someone's life, especially if Spoken by a Known, dear to Heart Person of your life.

Today is the Day when I have finally freed myself from that obnoxious Stain, embossed on my soul by none other than My own Husband. And what can be more endearing to me than Doing it all By Myself, ofcourse with My Best Friend Ali being an unsaid name with me in My Struggle throughout.

Today is the Day when I should be having a Sound and content sleep, as the hefty weights of "being Guilty" are dropped from My shoulder. I am a free Bird Again, untainted and uncaged.

Yet My Condition is all But that.

What can be the reason.?

Is it This House, This Room, This Bed.??..
which I have willingly shared with him all those years of our Happy Marriage. Where i have learned the Actual meaning of Life, Relationships, Love and falling in Love. Where a Broken Tormented Girl with deep Scars form Past found her magical Healing Elixir.

This Room has been a sole Witness of My Journey from A Rebellious Revengeful Avni Ayesha slash Ananya Verma to a loving Calm and caring Wifey, Avni Neil Khanna. Wifey..!! She let out a bitter sarcastic laugh. This word doesnt exist for me anymore and Neither did that Loving Women, Avni Khanna, whose very traces have been ruthlessly wiped away from my soul.

My only reason for coming back to this Place is Those Beautiful selfless Souls, in name of My family, who stood by my side without any doubts or questions, throughout my tough times. Mummyji, Papaji and Bebe became my Pillars of strength when my own Mother chose to abandon me, reasons best known to herself. They didnt think twice before supporting me, My Truth over him, his false allegations, making him to arrive on a decision of leaving this house, which i never wished for even in my wildest of dreams.

Or is it The Mere Abscence of Him.?
The bed couldnt provide me the known warmth and peace anymore to lull me to a sound sleep. She pressed the already aching head of her through her hand.

Or is it those words of Him Outside the Court.?
When he finally removed his mask of indifference and callousnees towards me while pouring his heart out citing Vidyut's Cheap Offer to be his Reason for Sending me To jail as a Means of Protecting me From his Lusty Eyes and Thoughts. Like really.?

Or is it The Innocent Plead of him that followed.?
Of Wanting Me back in his life. As if Nothing happened in all those months.

What exactly is the reason of My Heart's Unsettled, Stirred Behaviour.? Why is it affecting me Too Much.?

Unable to bear it anymore, she dragged herself out from the bed and went towards the window, in need of some fresh Air. A slight cold breeze danced through her shoulder making her free curls to twirl with it. She gazed above to see the dark clouds, ready to pour with all its might. She couldn't care less about the storm, while all of her focus was on the storm brewing in her heart, and in their relationship.

"I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret."

No Neil.!! Its not that easy. This is My Life not any Slate, from which unwanted things can easily be rubbed away in a matter of minutes. "Mai Jantni hu Jail me Rehna Kya hota hai Aur Kaisa hota hai.? Quaidi kehlane ka Dard kya hota hai.? Maine Saha hai vo sab.? Vo bhi Bina kisi Jurm ke.? Sirf tumhare Ek Faisle Ki Vajah se." And now after all that Suffering U want me to Just Run back to ur Arms as if those months doesnt mean anything. Maybe not for u, but they have a lasting effect on me.

"Mai Tumhare Bina Nahi Jee sakta Avni, Please Mujhe Mat Chod Ke jaao."

His Voice echoed in the back of her Mind.

"Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most"

I wish i could just Take a ride of Time-Machine and go back in the happy bubble of my Life. I wish it would have been so simple to erase the plight of those horrendous half year. I wish i could forget what i went through. But No.! No matter how hard i try, We all know Its IMPOSSIBLE. I can Never be that Jovial understanding and cheerful self of me again. That Mrs. Avni Khanna Is already dead whom it should Affect. What remains is only the dark shadow and Shadows doesnt have Heart. Lucky they.!!

"I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time"

U have to put yourself in My place to understand the voluminous amount of courage it takes to Stand up, to hold onto yourself even after bearing the weight of Bleeding and Weeping Heart, which is surrounded all over by pointed shattered pieces, ready to pierce through it anywhere and everywhere.

But still i didnt give up. I fought, i Fought harder. I reassembled myself for the sake of My Revenge. I channelised my strengths made myself more powerful and composed. All for what.? To learn One day that You have some reason to make me go through this Hell and Now that Everything is Sorted u Want me back.?

"Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart"

It took me a little too much to glue all my broken pieces into Myself back, but what i was greeted with, was just a replica with multiple cracks and crevices that can not be completely fused together. I cant even imagine putting a life or hope in that broken cracked replica of My inner self. Who gave u the right to decide for Me, without consulting me. You didnt have an iota of Trust on your Wife.? Maybe i could have handled better than what u thought. But No.! You Chose to Give me a Scar of Lifetime just like the already existing one on my Chest(bullet mark), except This one is Invisible and concealed inside me.

"You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?"

Is it that casual for u, like pressing a button of Robot and Tada "Wifey Mode On". No Neil, I am not a Robot.!

"Mai Tumhari Katputali Nahi hu, Jo Tumhare Isharo pe Nachati Rahe."

You didnt think even for once, before pushing me to this Hell. Your Heart didnt reprimand for once.? "Ek baar bhi nahi Socha Mere Baareme.?"

"I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found"

And now, You have the audacity to Ask me to return to You. How am i supposed to React.? Feel like Flying on cloud 9.? No Neil.! That Avni is already lost somewhere, never to be recovered. And You made sure of it.

"But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms"

I wont let my Hard Work, that i have put in shaping myself, go in vain. Finding yourself, Your existence, amidst all the accusations and allegations, is the most Difficult work, something i have succeeded in. And in no Cost i am going to let myself down. I am not going to weaken myself so much so as to depend on you.

"I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?"

"Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart"

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?"

Her gaze shifted from Moon towards the grass beautifully spread on the ground like a carpet. And there she saw him. Standing with Slumped shoulders, innocently pleading, intently staring chocolaty brown orbs darted on her, trying to convey his unsaid emotions in best ways possible. The defeated broken mess standing in front of her, broke her heart, yet again. His sincere appealing gaze tugging on her heart effectively, more efficently than his words.

He stretched out his hand in an attempt to reach her from the ground. Almost at the same time her hand streched out in his direction but soon she pulled it and placed it over windowsill. He curled his fingers mimicking a gesture of holding her hand. At the same time she pressed her palm on window as if trying to hold his hand. Her eyes brimming with tears. His eyes mirroring hers. And in that moment Neil found his Lost Hope. The very hope he will cling onto untill his last breath, untill He win his Avni, His Wifey Back.

The sky lit up with a flash of lightning and the thunder roared, while the determined lover had vowed to bring back his lost love.

The End.!!

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So, how was it.?

Dont forget to lemme know.!

Love
Riya.