Depression talk

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Hey, Bold here.

Ya, I'm not that cheerful now since this is a really serious topic.

So, I found out that Emu_san_ has slight depression. So did some of my other friends. They all suffered different traumas, situations, stories; yet, we all fall prey into this monster known as depression.

One of them was bullied real bad, yet she kept smiling like it didn't matter to her. She was my role model and I was oblivious to the fact she was depressed until I saw her crying one day.

She's cured now but she's in a different school so I don't know how she's doing.

Another one had a lot of pressure on her. She was a good student but the pressure made her crack. Her mother suffered from a heart attack once and she was afraid she would have another, leaving her to take care of her only sister and father.

We still keep in touch but I'm afraid every time she says "I'm okay", she's crying on the other side of the screen.

Me, I was young and näive. I thought he really cared about me, but in the end, he abandoned me and left me alone. I felt numb after that, I couldn't tap into my emotions so I created fake ones, making them similar to what I see other people do.

Numb as I am, I still feel the pain of lying what I really feel. I could never get past the wall that held me back from my emotions. Part of me never wanted them back, so I accepted that part.

Depression changes people, it shapes them to who they are. The people who smile are not necessarily happy, look into their eyes and see if their hollow or bright. The people who say "I'm okay" are never okay, they just don't want to the express the feeling of not being ok.

The world's system is cruel, yet we could only hope it would get better.

Have I make you lost your faith in humanity yet?

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