Me: Guess what, next week we're going to a farm.

3-year-old (M): Who lives on the farm?

Me: Well there's a man—

M: A cowboy?

Me: No he's not a cowboy.

M: All cowboys have farms.

Me: But not every farm has a cowboy.

M: Oh, okay.

Me: Anyway, it's mostly animals on the farm. There's a donkey and goats—

M: I love goats! Goats are my favorite! He tried to LICK MY FACE OFF!

Me: Have you ever even seen a goat??

M: No.

Me: You've never seen a goat?

M: No.

Me: Oh, so you're just pretending one licked your face off?

M: *is confusion*

Me: *is confusion*

Me: Anyway, you can pet the goats on the farm.

M: But humans only pet dogs.

Me: Humans can pet anything.

M: No, they only pet dogs!

Me: Okay, well, you'll see when we get there.

*Seconds later*

M: *notices the snarling Bulldog mascot on my college duffle bag*

M: Why is that dog looking at me and growling?