Sameer paused outside the main door of his house, needing a moment to collect himself. He did not know what awaited him. Would he be facing Naina's wrath alone or his whole family would be there to confront him? He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. Whatever damage was done, he intended to clear it at the soonest. With this thought, he headed inside, gathering courage to face whatever was to come his way.

In the dining room, things look as normal as they could be. Everyone was seated at the table, merrily chatting like always while they enjoyed the dinner. His eyes darted to Naina's chair. She was there too, smiling at something Dadaji was saying.

'Arey Sameer tu jaldi aa gaya?' Ambika was the first to notice him, 'Naina keh rahi thi tu dinner karke ayega. Jaldi aana tha toh bata deta.'

He did not miss how Naina's hand froze midway from her plate to her mouth. He also registered the tiny portion of food in her plate, which looked almost untouched.

'Sameer.' Dadaji called out, 'Ab aa hi gaya hai toh thoda kha le. Ya Munna Pandit ke saath party karke aaya hai?'

Anaya pointed at a large bowl, grinning, 'Aaj aapka favourite fruit custard bhi bana hai bhai. Yeh toh kha hi logey. Haina?'

Naina did not look at him even once.

With difficulty, Sameer smiled at everyone, 'Khana... khana ho gaya mera.' He slowly moved towards his chair besides Naina, 'Par custard toh kha hi sakta hun. Aap sabke saath.'

Taking a seat, he glanced at her and whispered, 'Sorry... woh phone...'

She quickly twisted her neck to face him, and gave a soft smile, 'Hi Sameer. Kya hua? Jaldi kaise aa gaye? Sab theek toh hai na? Waise Munna Pandit ke saath they isliye pet toh tumhara bhar hi gaya hoga...' She paused for a moment, '...par custard kha lo. Pasand hai na tumhe.'

He searched her eyes. They were blank. There was no sign of anger, but there was nothing else either. He could not be sure how much she had heard. Could it be that she had also put the phone away... and not heard anything? Under the table, he crossed his fingers. He was ready to give anything for this possibility to be true. In his haste to deny what his friends were suggesting, he had said a lot of unnecessary things, which he did not mean at all. Trying to prove his indifference for Naina, he had made certain distasteful declarations which he regretted from the core of his heart now. If only he could go back in time and change the situation.

The voice of his father broke his chain of thoughts, 'Naina, agent ka call aaya tha kya? Maine usey ticket ke liye bol diya tha. Usne kaha tumhe mail kar dega.'

Sameer was confused? What ticket? The travel agent was also talking about some ticket when he called.

Before he could ask, Naina replied to Girish, 'Call toh nahi par ticket mail kar di hai usne papa. Thank you.'

Girish waved a hand, 'Ab tum humein thank you kahogi? Arey beta family mein ek dusre ko haq se kaam batate hain. Achha wapas aane ki date final hotey hi mujhe ya Sameer ko bol dena. Ticket yahin se karwa denge. Okay?'

'Ji papa.' She smiled gently.

Ambika lovingly stroked her head, 'Mujhe pata hai tum pareshan ho par itni tension mat lo. Natasha theek ho jayegi. Tum jo jaa rahi ho. Agar kisi bhi cheez ki zarurat ho toh bina soche mujhe bolna. Chahiye hoga toh main aa jaungi wahan. Theek hai? Be strong.'

Naina nodded. Sameer's mind started to spin. What was going on? Was Naina leaving for Singapore. When? Why? Had something happened to Natasha? Was this the reason of Naina's distress? Then what about the phone call?

The custard lost its taste. He swallowed it with great difficulty while normal conversation flowed easily amongst his family. He did not see any noticeable difference in Naina's behaviour with anyone. But she did not talk to him again. And she hardly ate anything, not even the custard.

He was dying to know the reason... it was him, or Natasha?

Sameer paced in his room impatiently after dinner. The packed suitcase in the closet was making him jittery. Naina was actually going to Singapore or... was she leaving him?

He heard the door open and turned to see Naina standing in the doorway, her expression unreadable. She stepped into the room, and walked towards the closet, without acknowledging his presence. Sameer felt a lump form in his throat. He needed to know. He couldn't stand the uncertainty any longer.

'Naina?' His voice faltered as he quickly went near the sliding door, 'Tum... tum kahin jaa rahi ho?'

It was as if Naina did not hear him at all. She went about keeping the toiletries in a pouch, and gathering things from the drawer. It appeared that she was leaving right away. Sameer could not let her go without knowing the truth.

He walked inside the closet area and shut the door. When she did not show any reaction to that either, he marched ahead and stood right beside her.

'Please... please mujhse baat karo Naina.' His gut twisted with unease.

She threw him an impassive look, 'Kya hua tumhe? Kyon pagal ho rahe ho?' Her voice was flat... like she was talking to a stranger.

Sameer felt the desperation rising within him, 'Kya tum... tumne... woh sab...' sweat covered his face, '...I'm sorry.'

'Kisliye?' The nonchalance in her stance did not change.

Sameer gulped, 'Tum mat jao please. Meri... meri baat sun lo ek baar. Sach keh raha hun...'

Naina raised one palm to stop his blabber, 'Agar kuch kehne ko nahi hai toh mera time mat waste karo. Mujhe flight leni hai. I have to leave.'

Sameer held her wrist, firmly but gently, 'Don't go Naina.'

Taking a deep breath Naina tugged at her wrist, 'Natasha ko meri zarurat hai. She's not well.'

Sameer instantly knew she was not telling the truth. Calling her friend by her name and not 'Nutty' was enough hint.

'Tum sach keh rahi ho? Kya yehi reason hai? Ya tum... tum mujhse dur jaana chahti ho isliye...' He could not say more as her eyes snapped up at him, with sheer fierceness.

'Tumne aisa kuch kiya hai kya jiske liye mujhe tumse dur jaana chahiye? Contract beech mein chor ke?' The wry tone made him shudder.

'Naina, I'm really... really...' His words died in his throat when she jerked her hand out of his hold and continued to put her things in her handbag, 'Dekho is waqt mujhe zara jaldi hai. Tum jo yeh bolne ki practice karna chahte ho na, Munna Pandit ke saath kar lena. Waise bhi unke aage tum khul ke bol paate ho, apne dil ki har baat.'

And everything was clear to him. She had heard the whole conversation. She knew every awful statement that he had made about her.

'Woh mere dil ki baatein nahi thi Naina. I swear. Please, let me explain.' He implored, his voice filled with a mix of fear and earnestness.

All of a sudden, her voice dropped to a hateful whisper, 'Isse zyada kya explain karoge?'

His voice reflected his regret as he lowered his eyes, 'Woh sab... sach nahi hai. Main bas Munna Pandit...'

'Bas?' Her harsh laugh made him pause, 'Bas kahan hua hai abhi. Abhi toh bohot kuch baaki hoga. Aaj tumne sirf meri shakl soorat ka mazaak udaya, aur mere haalaat pe taras khaaya. Abhi toh mere character pe chaar baatein baaki hain. Meri aadaton pe apne expert comments dene honge. Main paison ke liye kya kuch kar sakti hun yeh elaan karna reh gaya. Itni jaldi apni baat kyon khatm kar di tumne? Mujhe sunna tha The Sameer Maheshwari ke dil mein aakhir kitna zeher hai mere liye.'

'Zeher nahi hai Naina. Bilkul bhi nahi.' He refuted desperately, 'Please ek baar sun lo maine yeh sab kyon kaha. Maanta hun mujhse galti hui hai. Main uske liye dil se sorry bol raha hun. Tum mujhe ek baar toh maaf kar sakti ho na, ek mauka toh de hi sakti ho.'

Her eyes looked past him, her voice shaking with hurt and betrayal, 'Tumhe toh tab maaf karungi jab khud ko maaf kar paungi. Tumhe pata hai, mujhe apni ab tak ki zindagi se bohot si shikayatein thi. Par itna yakeen tha ki jo mere saath hua uski wajah main nahi thi. Lekin aaj jo mera bharosa tumne tora hai na, uski zimmedar main aur sirf main hun, yeh baat main kabhi nahi bhulungi. Meri galti thi ki tumhe jaante hue maine tumhara saath dene ki liye haan ki. Yeh malum hote hue ki tumhari soch kitni giri hui hai main shaadi ke liye maan gayi. Tumhari doosron ke baare mein hamesha ghatiya judgement dene ki aadat pata lagne ke baad bhi maine tumhe apne bhai ke baare mein bataya. Aur fir, itni bewakoof ban gayi ki tumhari charity ko tumhari achhai samajh liya. Sadak ke kisi gareeb laachar bhikhari ko dekh ke jaise hum paanch dus rupay de dete hain waise hi tumne do bol bol diye hamdardi ke. Ismein kasoor tumhara nahi mera hai, jo maine tumhe apna zakhm dikhaya. Galat main hun aur tum meri zindagi ki sabse badi galti ho Sameer Maheshwari. Iss baat ke liye main kabhi khud ko maaf nahi karungi.'

An invisible force squeezed his chest, making it difficult for him to breathe. Watching her blaming herself like this, it felt as if a part of him died. The fierce and headstrong Naina, who always stood up in defiance against the world, was broken. And it was because of him. The realisation was a crushing weight. In order to run away from his friends' teasing and discourage their insistence, he had inadvertently destroyed not just a part of her but also the delicate bridge of understanding between them.

Miserable, he started in a pleading voice, 'Mujhe galat samajh rahi ho tum. Main sach keh raha hun mera aisa koi irada nahi tha. Mujhe bolne toh do...'

Before he could say more, she clenched her teeth and growled, 'Chupp. Bilkul chhup. Bohot bol liya tumne. Ab main bolungi aur tum sunoge.'

He fell silent as Naina spewed out in hatred, 'Main...main...main. Iske alawa tumhe kuch aur na dikhayi deta hai na samajh aata hai. Pehle din se sirf apne baare mein bolte aaye ho, aur baaki sabko chota samajhte rahe ho. Tumhe toh apne rishton ki bhi value nahi hai. Tumhare liye kisi rishtey ke koi mayne nahi hain. Jo family tumhe itna pyar deti hain unhe dhoka de rahe ho. Jo dost tumhari ek awaaz pe sab kuch chor ke daude chale aate hain unhe har baat pe sunate rehte ho. Jab tum inn sabke nahi ho sakte toh kisi aur se kya rishta nibhaoge Sameer Maheshwari? Pichhle kuch dinon se mujhe lag raha tha tum itne bure bhi nahi ho. Tum mein ek achhe insaan ki jhalak nazar aane lagi thi. Lekin aaj tumne woh har bhram tor diya. Tumne bata diya ki tum asal mein wohi self obsessed, sirf khud se pyar karne wale, apne aage har kisi ko neecha samjhne wale ameer aadmi ho jisey lagta hai paise se woh sab kuch khareed sakta hai. Aisa hai toh pyar khareed lo na apne liye. Kyon ab tak intezaar mein baithe ho? Jab tumhare paas zariya hai toh uske dum pe jo chaho khareed lo. Kisne roka hai?'

Sameer's heart ached so much, it was almost suffocating.

Naina's gaze pierced through him, 'Lekin ek baat kahun? Tum jo pyar dhoond rahe ho na woh nahi milega. Kabhi mil hi nahi sakta. Kyonki tumhe pyar nahi chahiye, apni terms pe ek illusion chahiye. Ek aisi ladki dhoond rahe ho jo tumhare banaye hue saanche mein fit ho jaaye. Tumne sab kuch pehle se soch ke rakha hai... kya hona chahiye, kaisa hona chaiye aur kya kya tumhe nahi chalega. Isey pyar kehte hain? Wow! Mr Maheshwari, zara batayenge kisi bachhe ki apni pasand ka khilona paane ki zid aur aapki iss talaash mein kya fark hai?

Mujh jaisi pyar pe vishwas na karne wali ladki bhi itna jaanti hai ki agar kisi ko sachhe dil se pasand karte hain toh uska comparison apni zarurat ke notes se nahi karte. Arey pyar ko toh log andha bolte hain. Pata hai kyon? Kyonki saamne wale ki koi kami, koi burai nazar hi nahi aati. Uska sab kuch achha lagta hai. Uski shakl, soorat, aadatein, tareeke... sab kuch. Lekin tumhe aaj tak apne alawa koi perfect laga hi nahi. Tum kisi ko pyar kar hi nahi sakte Sameer Maheshwari. Jaante ho kyon? Kyonki tum toh pehle se pyar mei ho. Khud ke pyar mein. Tumne apne aapko apne hi sar pe baitha ke rakha hai. Uss oonchayi se tumhe na kisi ka dil nazar aa sakta hai na feelings. Arey tumhe toh kisi ka chehra bhi nahi nazar ayega. Pehli nazar ka pyar chahiye na tumhe? Lekin uske liye dekhna zaruri hai. Tumhare dil aur aankhon dono par pardah hai, khud ke extraordinary status ka. Isliye tumhe kabhi woh pyar mil hi nahi sakta.'

Sameer gulped. Munna Pandit had once said something similar to him. Was it true?

Naina looked even more pained as she shook her head in disdain, 'Thank you, mujhe fir se yaad dilane ke liye ki meri zindagi mein do cheezon ki koi jagah nahi hai... pyar aur rishtey. Tum jaise logon ki wajah se hi mujhe pyar pe bharosa nahi hai. Kisi rishtey par bharosa nahi hai. Bharosa hai toh sirf khud pe aur apni Nutty pe. Isliye main jaa rahi hun. Lekin tum ghabrao mat. Main wapas aaungi. Tumhari tarah nahi hun, jisne ek din dosti ka haath milaya aur dusre din mera aur meri family problem ka tamasha bana diya. Maine contract sign kiya hai isliye uske poora hone tak main peeche nahi hatungi. Par aaj ke baad, jab koi audience na ho toh na mujhse baat karna na mujhse kisi tarah ki expectation rakhna. Yeh natak, jisey tum itna expertly nibha rahey ho, sirf family aur logon ke saamne rahega. Iss room mein hum dono strangers hain. Ajnabi. Chahe main marr bhi rahi hun, mere haal pe hamdardi karne ki zarurat nahi hai tumhe. Aur haan, charity ka shouk poora karne ke liye koi institution dhoond lo. Tumhare paise agar kisi zaruratmand ke kaam aayein toh shayad unki duayein tumhe mil jaayein. Rahi baat meri maafi ki... mujhe nahi lagta uske milne na milne se tumhe koi farq padta hai.'

She snapped shut her bag, pulled out the handle of her suitcase and walked out of the room, her head held high.

Sameer stood rooted to the spot. Naina's words were relentless, hitting him like a hammer in the heart. Her voice was cold, void of the warmth he felt when she asked about his wound just this morning. Her tone was dismissive, as if he was insignificant. Her stance was stony, a stark contrast to the friendly smile she had given him when he had left in the evening.

Slowly, he stepped out of the closet. The room was vacant. He stood alone in the deafening silence, engulfed in the loneliness of rejection.

Yes, it was rejection. Naina had rejected him as a person, as a friend, as a partner... as human being. He could feel the ache, the raw, unbearable pain that she must have felt when he betrayed her trust by saying all those things. And the pain was all consuming. It wasn't a physical hurt, but every part of him ached as the reality of his mindless blabber dawned on him. A wave of guilt washed over him. What had he done? His mistake was too grave. Even if he apologised for life, it would not be enough.

Only when he felt dampness on his cheeks did he realise that they were his own tears, which cascaded down, unstoppable and scalding.

His legs could no longer hold the weight of his sorrow, and buckled beneath him. His knees hit the hard floor but the impact had no affect. His blurry gaze was fixed at the door, which was slightly ajar, but he knew that the door for him had closed forever. The cruel awakening had left him feeling hollow, not bitter.

'Mujhe farq padta hai Naina.' The words tumbled out amidst his tears, 'Mujhe tumhari maafi se bohot farq padta hai. Jab tak tum mujhe maaf nahi karogi, shayad main theek se saans bhi nahi le paunga. Jo dard maine tumhe diya hai uska ahsaas aaj mujhe ho raha hai. Tumhari iss haalat ka zimmedar main hun. Dosti ka haath maine badhaya tha lekin dosti nibha nahi paaya. I'm sorry Naina. I'm really sorry.'

His voice choked, the words interspersed by the sobs that tore through him, 'Maine baar baar tumhe itna kuch kaha fir bhi tum mere liye iss ghar mein aa gayi. Tumne mera saath diya, meri dost bani, meri family ke saath itne achhe se rehti ho. Aur maine kya kiya? Tumhe hurt kar diya. Maine kaha tha main tumhare liye tumhari Nutty jaisa dost banna chahta hun par main toh tumhare bhai jaisa ban gaya, jo tumhara hamdard nahi balki dard ka reason hai. Main yeh nahi chahta tha Naina. Aisa bilkul nahi chahta tha. Main tumhe hurt nahi karna chahta tha. Kabhi nahi.'

He covered his face with his hands and let the tears flow, each one a testimony of regret that filled his heart. The emptiness consumed him, like a star which had been torn from the sky and was falling into nothingness. The void of her absence stabbed like a knife in his heart. The loss was too heavy to bear.

When he raised his head after a while, his reflection stared back at him from the mirror at other end of the room. The face, the hair, the eyes, the personality... everything that he was so proud of, repelled him.

The pain turned into self loathing, 'Kyon kiya aisa? Apni baat manwane ke liye bina soche samjhe kuch bhi bol diya. Aur Naina ka bharosa tor diya. Uski feelings ko, uske emotions ko kitna hurt kiya. Sirf doston ke aage hero banne ke liye. Hero nahi kamina hai tu. Sameer Maheshwari I hate you. Tu hero nahi ek ghatiya insaan hai.'

He heard someone else call out his name from down below. Probably his family was expecting him to go out, drive Naina to the airport, say goodbye to her. Then, he heard Naina's voice, but could not understand the words. Like other times, perhaps she had given some believable explanation for his absence. He wanted to go, to get those few minutes of her company, and ask for forgiveness again. But he was in no state to face her now. He could not see the hatred in her eyes, the contempt in her expression. He wanted to see happiness in those eyes, he wanted to see smile on her face, he wanted to see contentment when they were together, he wanted her to feel secure, to have faith, to... what?

His mind went numb. For a few minutes, he kept sitting on the floor. His face was wet with tears but his eyes had gone dry. A turmoil started to churn in his stomach. A tightness gripped his heart.

Baffled by the confusion, he quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and got up. First thing he did was to lock the door of his room. He needed time to clarify what his tangled thoughts had thrown at him. From the bedside drawer, he brought out the file he had so painstakingly compiled in the last decade. The series of checkpoints was there

Jab pyar hoga toh uske siwa aur kuch yaad nahi rahega... bas wohi dil aur dimaag pe chaayi rahegi

He had not been able to take Naina out of his mind since he first met her.

Aankhen band karne pe uska chehra hi nazar ayega

He shut his eyes for a moment... and Naina twirled around, smiling, in the saree she had worn last night.

Uski khushi ke liye sab kuch karne ka dil karega

He always wanted to see her happy, even though he did some stupid things.

Uske saath hone par dil ko sukoon milega

Naina did make his life much easier.

Woh hamesha khoobsurat lagegi

He thought that was because of the beauty treatments.

Uske maathe ki ek shikan bhi bardaasht nahi hogi

Naina's tensions, even when she did not mention or even show them, tormented him.

Uski taraf uthti har nazar se jalan hogi

This needed no explanation.

Uske bina sab soona lagega

How much he had missed her when he had gone to Mumbai.

Usey har galat nazar se bachakar rakhne ka dil karega

He touched the bandage on his neck.

The list had many more points but he did not need them anymore. The truth hit him with the force of thunderclap... it wasn't mere attraction.

He loved Naina.

Next update on Saturday