Yeh dard mera hai tumhara nahi

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Naina looked at Sameer in wonder as she tried to comprehend everything , 'Aur bhi kuch kiya unn logon ne tumhare saath?'

'Unke baare mein nahi...' Sameer did not meet her eyes, feeling little less courageous, '...woh parking lot wale ladke... woh tumhe dekhkar...' He could not repeat the specific words they had used, so he just added in frustration, 'Tum aage se parties mein aise kapde mat pehenna.'

It did not take Naina any time to guess what he must have heard. She inhaled deeply, nodding, 'Okay. Lekin kahin aur aise log mil gaye toh? Mall mein, theater mein, metro mein... ya fir road pe chalte hue? Wahan mujhe kaisa dress code follow karna hoga?'

He gave it a thought, then stressed, 'Wahan bhi aisa kuch mat pehna karo. Woh na sahi par unke jaise badtameez log kahin bhi mil sakte hain. Tum new dresses le lo, full length, full sleeves wali.'

She dipped her head obediently before asking, 'Aur agar kisi ne chehra dekh ke seeti baja di, ya baalon ke liye kuch bola? Aisa karti hun, dupatta bhi le leti hun. Ghoonghat pehen ke ghar se bahar niklungi. Theek rahega na?'

That was when he realised she was mocking him. With a frown, he murmured, 'Mazaak ki baat nahi hai. Kapdo ki wajah se koi aisa bolta hai toh usey mauka kyon dena?'

Naina's eyes filled up with disdain, 'Tumhe lagta hai aisa sirf ladkiyon ke kapdon ki wajah se hota hai? Jee nahi, iss tarah ki harkat ke peeche hamare kapde nahi unki ghatiya mentality hoti hai.'

Sameer was fixed on this, 'Kapdon par hi sabse pehle nazar jaati hai. Aisa nahi hota toh tum apne pehle wale office mein apne boss ki wajah se behenji type kapde kyon pehenti? Woh faded sa kurta aur tumhara ajeeb sa dupatta. Kitna odd tha.'

Naina was surprised for a moment that he remembered her outfit from their first meet. To counter his point, she replied, 'Main Thakkar ko ache se jaanti thi kyonki poora din office mein bitati thi. Din bhar uski ghoorti nazren, baar baar apne cabin mein bulane ka bahana dhoondna, clients se milne ka naam lekar roz roz bahar chalne ko kehna... yeh sab bardasht karna padta tha. Kisi anjaan ki nazar ko ignore kar sakte hain lekin jiska saamna roz subah se shaam tak karna ho uska kya karein? Aur kya mere unn kapdon ki wajah se Khattar ke behaviour mein koi badlaav aaya? Nahi. Maanti hun maine job ki majboori mein apna dressing style change kiya tha par iska matlab yeh nahi ki main har sadak chalte aadmi ke hisaab se kapde choose karun. Jinse meri koi jaan pehchaan nahi, jinki buri nazar jhelna meri majboori nahi, jinke hone na hone se mujhe fark nahi padta, aisa koi insaan mere liye matter nahi karta. Agar unka dekhne ka tareeka galat hai toh yeh unke andar ki gandgi hai, meri dresses ka outcome nahi.'

Sameer sighed, 'Naina, tum itni si baat kyon nahi samajh rahi? Unki nazar kharaab hai, isiliye unse bachna zaruri hai. Major role toh kapdon ka hi hota hai har kisi ki personality mein.'

One side of her lips curled to form a sarcastic smile, 'Achha? Toh batao, tum aisa kya pehen ke jaate they college mein jo Roop ki kharab nazar tumpe padi? Tab tumne apna style change kyon nahi kiya?'

He gaped at her, open mouthed. She was right. He had never thought about the situation from this angle. Not just Roop, there were a few more girls who were downright obsessed with him. One had sent him a picture of his name written with a knife on her arm, one had threatened to jump from her building if he did not go to meet her at her house. And Roop... he shuddered in disgust as he recalled how she behaved in the sports room.

All this could not be blamed on his clothes. He used to wear what all guys normally did. Jeans and shirt or tshirt. At times, Munna Pandit borrowed his shirts or jackets too.

Finding him lost, Naina could gauge what was going on in his mind. Her voice turned gentle, 'Hamare kapde sirf ek factor hota hai. Jab main Thakkar ke office mein thi tab bhi road pe eveteasing hoti thi. Ghar ki purani tshirt aur lowers pehen ke society ke gate ke bahar wali shop se kabhi kuch lene jaati tab bhi behuda comments sune hain. Inn sabse ghabrakar zindagi jeena toh nahi chor sakti ladkiyan. Roop ne jo tumhare saath kiya uske baad tumne college jaana band kiya kya? Nahi na? Hum aise incidents ko jitni jaldi bhool jaayein utna achha hota hai. They don't deserve our time and attention.'

Sameer could not deny. What she said made him see this perpetual evil of the society in new light. He had never thought from this perspective. Sometimes outside his college, he had seen some boys passing lewd remarks at every female who passed by, irrespective of her clothes or appearance. They did not even spare the young mothers who came to pick or drop their kids to a nearby school.

His thoughts were disrupted by the ring of Naina's phone. She quickly placed it to her ear and said without any greeting, 'Sorry sorry Anu. Bas aa rahe hain. Woh kal...'

She turned quiet, apparently listening. In the silence of the room, Sameer could hear his sister's voice which was loud and teasing through the phone, 'Offo Bhabhi, bahane sunne ko call nahi kiya. Itni manners hain mujh mein ki newly weds ko subah late ho jaaye toh sawaal nahi karna chahiye.'

Naina's face turned red.

Anaya carried on, 'You guys take it easy. Hum sab Golf Course jaa rahe hain. Ghar pe sirf aap dono rahoge. Maine bas itna batane ko call kiya hai ki Mohan aap dono ka breakfast room mein dene aa raha hai. Aur yeh decision mummy ka tha. Unhone kaha bechare dono kal party se late aaye honge toh thak gaye honge. Let them enjoy breakfast in bed. So please, door knock hoga toh bhai ko kehna do minute ka control kar lein.'

'Anu hum...' Blushing to the roots, Naina tried to clear things but Anaya chuckled and cut the call. Squeezing her eyes shut, Naina pursed her lips. This was the first time both of them had been late for breakfast. Anaya's assumptions made her ears burn.

Sameer tried to appear unfazed when her eyes darted to him. He did not want Naina to feel awkward. Or perhaps, he did not want to let his imagination run wild. Was it not one of his dreams, to spend a lazy morning in bed with... He forced his mind to stop coming up with the name. It still would remain a dream with a face he hadn't encountered yet. It cannot be...

Damn Anu!

He turned his back towards Naina and mustered courage to speak in nonchalant voice, 'Let's go. Breakfast...'

Before he could finish, a knock on the door announced the arrival of their breakfast. Naina crossed him with hurried steps and opened the door.

'Bhabhiji, yeh bheja hai.' Mohan stood there with a big tray in hand, hesitant to enter.

Naina took the tray from him, mumbled a polite thanks and turned.

Without casting a look in Sameer's direction, she placed the tray on a table and said, 'Anu ne bola woh sab Golf course jaa rahe hai. isliye hamara breakfast...'

'Oh Great!' Sameer hid behind the pretense of not knowing about the conversation between the two girls. He was glad for the diversion. Even better if it was in the form of food. He settled on the couch and lifted the cover from the tray. The enticing aroma of freshly made aloo paranthas filled the air, making his mouth water in anticipation.

'Wow. My favourite.' A smile of glee brightened his face.

Naina pulled a chair beside the table and took one plate. Just as she fished out the serving tongs from a napkin, Sameer, unable to resist, reached out and grabbed a hot parantha, wincing as the heat seared his fingertips.

'Owww.' Yelling out, he barely managed to place it on his plate then jerked his hands a few times before blowing air on his fingertips.

'Do second ruk nahi sakte they?' Naina scoffed, 'Dikh raha hai dhuan nikal raha hai casserole se lekin nahi. Bhukkad ki tarah toot padey jaise abhi nahi liya toh parantha bhaag jayega.'

'Achha theek hai.' He scrunched his nose sheepishly, 'Tum mummy ki tarah mat daanto.'

Shaking her head, Naina filled a bowl of curd for him and placed next to his plate.

When he did not move to eat, she asked, 'Pehle toh itne utavle ho rahey they ab kiska wait kar rahey ho?'

He splayed his palm in front of her, 'Haath jal gaya hai mera. Dard bhi mujhe hoga na, tumhe nahi. Aur dusre mein kal chot lag gayi thi. Lekin tumhe toh lag raha hoga ki main natak kar raha hun. Tumhe dard ka ahsaas thodi hoga.'

Naina noticed the redness on his fingertips. The parantha was indeed piping hot. And Sameer had not left it instantly but took it all the way to his plate. Alu parantha was too precious to him, more than his own pain. Naina let out a sigh. She had no option but to make this overgrown, dramatic kid eat his breakfast, lest he became even more grumpy.

'Fine.' She broke a small piece from his parantha, waved her hand a bit to cool it, dipped it in curd and...

Sameer's breath got stuck in his throat. Was she going to feed him with her own hands? Wasn't that too...

Before his thoughts spiralled out of control, Naina placed the bite in his other hand, 'Yeh lo. Khao warna muh phula ke baithe rahoge.'

Slowly, Sameer put the bite in his mouth. Immediately, his taste buds rejoiced at the combination of spicy potatoes and cool curd. He savoured it, a heavenly smile spreading on his lips as he waited for another bite. Naina took one for herself then tore one for him alternatively. Within a few minutes, they both realised that eating this way would be quite cumbersome and time taking. She then rolled the leftover parantha and handed to him, flicking her eyes to the bowl of curd. it was much easier to hold it in his palm, dip in the bowl and munch away.

Sameer had finished three rolled up paranthe by the time Naina was done with her first one.

She looked up, her eyebrows raised in a mix of amusement and surprise, 'Ek aur roll loge? '

'Nahi. Subah zyada nahi khana chahiye.' He gave her a satiated smile, 'Bas chai.'

Naina could not stifle the spurt of laughter, 'Tumhe lagta hai tumne kam khaaya hai?' She waved at the empty dishes, 'Paranthe ke saath saara dahi, achaar, chutney sab khatm kar diya. Aur ab chai bhi pi loge?'

He frowned, 'Nazar kyon laga rahi ho? Agar meri favourite cheez hogi toh khaunga nahi kya? Bachpan se mummy mujhe har weekend pe alu paranthe deti hain, woh bhi dher saare. Jab bhi jalebi aati hai toh mere liye alag se packet hota hai. Aur rasmalai...' He licked his lips as he remembered the taste, 'rasmalai toh ek dozen kha sakta hun.'

'Pet hai ya kuaan?' Naina sniggered.

He turned defensive, 'Tum bhi toh apni pasand ki dishes milne pe zyada khaati hogi. Ice cream, golgappe, chaat papri, samose... kya hai tumhari choice?'

She shrugged, 'Main apne mood ke hisaab se khaati hun. Kabhi kuch achha lagta hai kabhi kuch. Ek cheez kaise kisi ki favourite ho sakti hai.'

'Ah! Tum kya jaano sachha pyar kya hota hai.' Sameer poetically waved at the lone parantha left in the casserole, 'Jisse sachha pyar ho jaaye uske aage aur kuch pasand nahi aata. Yeh baat mood ki nahi dil ki hai.'

Naina clapped in mock appreciation, 'Waah waah. Mujhe nahi pata tha tum jiske sapne dekhte ho woh koi ladki nahi alu ka parantha hai. Kya pyaar hai? True love indeed.'

He grinned sheepishly, 'Waisa wala pyar nahi.' He went on to explain, 'Pyar sirf ek thodi hota hai. Main mummy papa se pyar karta hun, Dadaji se karta hun, Munna Pandit se karta hun, Anu kaafi annoying hai par usse bhi karta hi hun. Iska matlab yeh thodi hai ki main apne liye sapne nahi dekh sakta. Woh jo mera pehla pyar banke ayegi na, uss ladki se main jo pyar karunga woh sabse alag hoga.' His eyes started to twinkle as his voice turned wistful, 'Usey main apne dil mein chuppa lunga. apni baahon mein samet lunga, apni aankhon mein utaar lunga, apni dhadkan mein basaa lunga, apni saanson mein...'

'Bas bas baba.' Naina stood up quickly, alarmed, 'Too much information. Mujhe tumhari love theory mein koi interest nahi hai. Mujhe nahi dekhni yeh film.'

He slapped his forehead after she hurriedly escaped to the washroom, 'Gadha kahin ka. Uske saamne yeh sab kehne ki kya zarurat thi. Bhavnaon mein behne se pehle itna toh dekhna chahiye ki audience kaun hai. Jisey pyar se nafrat hai usey pyar bhari baatein kya samajh ayengi.'

When Naina was back in the room, she asked, 'Tumhari neck ki chot ke liye doctor ke paas chalein? Mummy bhi gussa hongi jab unhe pata chalega ki tumne ghar pe hi dressing kar li.'

'Please, tum kisi ko mat batana. Na jhagde ka aur na iss chot ka.' He almost pleaded.

Her brow shot up, 'Kyon? Darte ho?'

'Madam, main darta warta nahin hun.' He waved a hand dismissively in air, 'Sabko bekaar ki tension na ho isliye. Upar se Dadaji ko lagega wahan sabke saamne maine aise rashly behave kiya.'

Naina was apprehensive, 'Lekin chupana bhi toh theek nahi hai. Woh family hai tumhari. Tumhare dard ka unhe pata hona chahiye. Kya tumhe achha lagega agar mummy ya papa apni koi chot ya takleef tumse chupayein?'

Sameer gave it a thought. Though he would not want the same to be done to him, he wasn't so keen to reveal this to everyone, 'Nahi Naina, I think kuch baatein chupa lena hi better hota hai, khaaskar jab unki wajah se humse zyada hamari family ko takleef ho. Mummy yeh sab sunke ghabra jayengi. Meri chot itni serious nahi hai. Do chaar din mein theek ho jayegi.'

'Aur tab tak ghar pe kisi ko yeh bandage nazar nahi ayegi?' She crossed her arms, gazing at the patch on his neck.

Sameer's hand flew to his neck. He pondered for a while, then swiftly started to open the buttons of his shirt.

'Yeh kya kar rahey ho?' Naina promptly turned her back to him, shocked.

Holding the shirt, Sameer went to the closet and informed her in a loud voice over his shoulder, 'Kisi ko nazar na aaye iska arrangement kar raha hun. Bas tum apna muh band rakhna.'

When he came back, he was wearing a polo neck tshirt. The bandage was securely hidden behind the folds.

He proudly declared, 'Dekha mera kamaal? Ab bolo, kisi ko pata chal sakta hai?'

Naina eyed the covered neck tentatively, 'Tum unse chupaoge toh kaise pata chalega. Lekin kya yeh sahi hai?'

'Offo Naina don't be so uptight.' He demanded in exasperation, 'Kya tumne kabhi apne parents se kuch nahi chupaya? Koi chot, exam ka result, friend se milna... sab karte hain. No big deal.'

The words hit her hard, but she tried to remain calm, 'Big deal hai. Kyonki unhe tumhari parwah hai.'

Sameer narrowed his eyes, 'Parwah toh tumhari bhi hai sabko, fir bhi tum apni koi problem kisi se share nahi karti. Kya isliye ki tum sabko apni family nahi maanti?'

A strange emotion passed over her face, 'Maanti hun. Unhe nahi manungi toh kisey manungi.'

Taking a step towards her, Sameer asked in a softer voice, 'Toh kise bataya tumne ki tum kyon disturbed ho? Mummy ko, papa ko ya Anu ko?'

Nervously she looked away, 'Main... main theek hun. Mujhe koi problem nahi hai.'

'Jhooth.' Sameer took another step towards her, 'Tum akele terrace pe khade hokar jaane kya sochti rehti ho. Kuch hai jo tumhe hurt kar raha hai. Kuch hai jisey chupane ke liye uss din tum apne apartment pe chali gayi thi. Koi baat hai jisey bhoolne ke liye tumne drink ki... akele. Aisa pehle kabhi nahi kiya tumne.'

Her gaze shot up to him, 'Tumhe... tumhe kaise pata? Nutty ne bola? Aur kya bola usne?'

Another step brought him close to her, close enough for him to lightly hold her upper arms. He looked into her eyes. The pain was evident.

'Natasha ne sirf yeh kaha tha ki tumhe drink karne ki aadat nahi hai. Aur kuch nahi bataya. Na maine pucha. Kyonki main tumse janna chahta hun. Jab tum share karna chaho. Aur agar tum mujhe nahi ghar mein kisi aur ko batana chaho toh bhi chalega. Par sab kuch apne andar mat rakho. I know tum Natasha se share karti ho par abhi woh yahan nahi hai. Woh tumhe help nahi kar sakti.'

Bitterness replaced the forlorn look in her yes, 'Koi help nahi kar sakta. Kyonki meri problem kisi bahar wale ki di hui nahi hai. Jab bahar se chot mili ho toh ghar pe sahara milta hai, comfort milta hai. Lekin...'

She gulped, and went quiet. The stoic expression returned on her face, 'Jinke ghar nahi hotey unhe apni chot ka dard bhi akele sehna hota hai aur marham bhi khud lagana hota hai.'

Sameer kept looking at her stony eyes, 'Mujhe pata hai tumhare parents... they are no more. Tumne bataya tha. Par tumhara bhai hai, bhabhi hai. Kahan hain woh? Shaadi achanak hui par uske baad bhi kabhi tumne unka naam tak nahi liya? Kya woh kisi aur country mein hain? Ya kisi aur sheher mein? Tum unse milti nahi ho kya? Unhe miss toh karti hogi. Woh bhi tumhe yaad karte hi honge na?'

Her eyes slowly wandered to him. Sameer was startled to see the emptiness in them.

'Naina.' He shook her slightly, 'Bolo na, tum unse milne jaana chahti ho? Woh jahan bhi hain main tumhe leke chalunga.'

She kept staring into his eyes for a few seconds. When her lips moved, he had to crane his neck to grasp what she was saying.

'Bhaiya... bhabhi... woh yahin hai... Delhi mein.'

Sameer was taken aback, 'Yahan hain? Fir unhe shaadi pe kyon nahi bulaya? Kabhi milwaya kyon nahi?'

Naina shut her eyes, speaking with difficulty, 'Woh jo hospital mein miley they... woh mere bhaiya hain. Sagey bhai. Aur unke saath thi unki wife, meri bhabhi.'

Next update on Friday

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