She knew she went overboard, but she couldn't help when the memories of their beautiful moments rushed to her memory like tidal waves. She could still feel his lips on her also her entire heart poured out during that moment. She knew her life has changed for to better as a working careerist woman. But there was a constant void inside her all the time that could only be fulfilled by him. In these four years, he lived with her in her every moment of life, but not as a real person. But it took him four years to reach her. He arrived three times in these four years to see her. But she saw all his career accomplishments through the media. There was a time when she drafted his accomplishment in her letters and published that article published as the most diplomatic article about him but she intended to write an appreciation article about him that created a buzz in the media for a while.

People will assume that she got separated from him because of his work and he got more involved in his business and left her alone, but only she knew that was not the reason, her father once fought with her and compared her with her mother telling how she stayed with him in their initial days which made her so furious. Other than her, nobody knew what happened between them, not even her husband who was involved. Whenever he used to ask her what happened, she desperately wanted to laugh at him and ask him, how can he say in that confidence, that he loves her beyond everything? When he had zero clue what she was going through because of him? At the same while, she couldn't resist the fact that she loves him and she couldn't see him depressed like that because of her, when she left him, her heart turned to stone and didn't think about how he will survive if he says anything ill towards to her, the next second, he needs her. But that moment, she made up her mind, she will never return to him, he didn't deserve her. She changed her clothes to a night suit and took her laptop from her bag. Even though she regretted kissing him, there was a thought, there were many times he had sex with her to forget about his office tension, compared to that, it was nothing, it was just a kiss, the output of her emotions, she shouldn't feel anything about it.

He walked out of the washroom with his drenching t-shirt and his track pants, he watched her, but she clearly ignored him and continued working on her work. When he walked toward her with the intention to speak with her, she closed the laptop with a thud and kept it aside.

"I didn't kiss you intentionally, I was emotional" She replied to him without facing him.

"I am not that dumb to oversee the reason behind your acts. But one thing was not clear to me, I promise baby, I will never ever disturb you if you open up the reason to me." He said in an emotional tone. She didn't reply to anything for a while but looked at him briefly and stood up from the bed. 

"This is the problem, Shivaay. It has been four years, and still, you failed to understand me." She opened up. He was startled by her statement but he stayed silent. 

"Sometimes I even wonder, how could you say that you love me when you didn't even know the reason behind this question How did I give up on this relationship?, did you think I got emotional because I missed you in these 4 years?" She asked him. She knew she was spattering out the anger that was locked in her heart for years, she felt thankful for that, at least she could let that out now. But he remained shocked to see her in that condition.

"I became emotional because I got failed, Shivaay. I got failed in moving on, I couldn't stop loving you, I finally realized that in these years, I was living in a clear illusion, that I stopped loving you and I moved on which was not true..." She busted off her words along with the tears. He moved towards her when he couldn't take her tears flowing, even though he couldn't control his emotions to see her like that. 

"I am sorry...Baby..." He walked towards them when she constantly jerked his hands away from touching her.  But he succeed in his attempt when he pulled her to him and hugged her tight, she trembled a little in the start but soon melted in his embrace. 

"Shhhh" He consoled her. But she cried bitterly in his embrace. 

"Relax..." He consoled her. 

"I agree, I graved a very big mistake, without knowing what it is, I am serving my punishment which is staying away from you, but Ani, as I asked you before, give me two months, in these two months, if you come to the conclusion, I am still the same person, I will sign the divorce papers won't ask any questions to you but exit from your life just like I came, but if it works, even then, the decision is yours to forgive me or not." He said when he held to his embrace, for a while, it was blank, and she couldn't reply anything. After all, he was asking for time. She didn't reply anything but got away from his embrace and move towards the bed, there was no energy left in her after that emotional breakdown. She thudded down in the bed and closed her eyes when she felt it was long enough for the bed, but he stayed up next to her bed for a long time, she could feel that more than that, she couldn't do anything else. 

***

Sometimes I even wonder, how could you say that you love me when you didn't even know the reason behind this question How did I give up on this relationship?, did you think I got emotional because I missed you in these 4 years?

Her words revolved around in his head for a whole time, soon he started to recall every moment that happened with them in those 5 months of togetherness, when he arrived back to newyork after getting engaged to her, both of his friends were shocked to hear that out, they thought his father would have forced him for that, but what they saw in his eyes was different over that time. He was genuinely interested in her, it took time for his friends to believe him since he had so many flings and zero serious relationships. It took time for his friends to understand his seriousness when she called him overnight when they partying together to know about something which made his heart shake. 

"Shivaay, Do you know Tia Kapoor?" Anika asked him, he struggled a little to recall that familiar name but soon remembered not only her name but also how she related to Anika.

"Yes. Tia, We were in a relationship." He said casually even though he was hell scared inside. 

"You know she's my cousin, right?" Anika asked him in a slightly disappointed tone. 

"I didn't know I would be marrying her cousin then, chill out, Ani. It was long before when we were doing our bachelor's, Also it was not a serious one." He said and tried to convince her. 

"Oh..." She replied. 

"Did she say anything to you?" He asked. 

"No, she got married, now pregnant. She was just worried that you recognize her at the wedding. Her husband is a little possessive about her. She just wanted to convey this to you." Anika said in a low tone. 

"Pregnant... That's crazy! Okay, Ask her to relax and you're okay, right?" He asked her. 

"Yes. I am fine, just a little bit shook," Anika replied. 

"Chill out, Princess, She's my past. You very well know about my present and future, just get cope up until I arrive." He replied.

"Princess..." She asked him. 

"That's my first impression of you." He said and told about the past when he saw her father's possessiveness toward her. 

"I hope you won't throw a tantrum and embarrass me in your bidaai" He chuckled but there was no reply from her. 

"Anika, are you there?" He asked. 

"Yes... Just got busy, I will talk with you later, Good night" She said. 

"Good night!" He replied and disconnected the call. And turned towards his friend who got stuck seeing him blabbering in a tense state when Anika asked him about Tia. He just took a gulp of his drink and heaved out a deep breath. 

"Just miss bro. I thought she would call off the wedding after knowing I have dated her cousin." He replied. 

"And you escaped!" Rudy said to him. 

"I thought you were kidding, but you're dead serious with her," Om confirmed in a shocking tone. 

"And that's an end to my fling life. And I am happy about it. Isn't it strange?" Shivaay said to him. 

"You didn't like her. But you started to fall for her..." Om stated. 

"Maybe..." He replied as he couldn't deny that. 

 "Cheers to the first groom of our groom who found his first serious relationship in arrange marriage." Rudy toasted leaving others laughing hysterically along with him. 

Is that Tia? He asked himself when he saw her finally doze off peacefully next to him in the bed. He stayed away as much as he could but he couldn't stop his mind which was finding every possible reason for her heartbreak. 

****