I can't do this right now.

Two days in,
And this week is terrible.
Teachers throwing tests and projects,
Friends deciding to be bad friends,
Nothing going right.

I know I'm blessed.
I know I'm lucky.
I know my life is good.

But I feel just terrible.

Mom says
Go to bed.

But that's the last thing I want.

If I go to bed the bad thoughts
Bombard me,
Swirling in my stomach,
Whispering to me until I can hear nothing else.

If I go to bed I'm alone,
In the dark,
With nothing but sadness for company.

It makes me wonder why I bother trying.
I'm so afraid to rock the boat,
I never say anything.

Until it all bottles up
So tight,
Unwinding the cap
Would cause an explosion.

I'm not scared of the Dark.
I'm not scared of the monsters in the dark.
I'm scared of the sadness inside me,
The monsters that come to play always,

But play rough in the dark,
When I'm alone,
And no one can hear me cry.