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kiss with a fist.
act one.
chapter two,
wwjad? (what would jane austen do?).

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ELLE DAVIES
HOLYHEAD, WALES
september 1993

"ELLE, IF YOUR THINGS aren't in the car in five minutes, we're leaving that broomstick here!"

Saoirse, her hands chock full of trunks, animal cages, and a miraculously unspilled coffee cup, heaved past Elle who was nearly swallowed by the broomstick care supplies that surrounded her on the hardwood floor. Elle's hands tightened around the wooden stick resting atop her thighs as she leveled her mother an entirely unimpressed expression.

"I'm taking this baby all the way to the bank! I can't just shove her in a case without a little self-care - how would you feel if you were banged around in the compartment of a train for eight hours-"

Elle's comment simply earned a death glare from her mother. "Elle, it's a broomstick."

"She can hear you."

Elle's broomstick was her most prized possession - besides Bowie, of course. She'd received the piece from her grandfather before he had passed eight years prior, and she treated it as though it were her newborn child.

"Ladies, ladies, I personally have quite a lot to accomplish this semester so I'd appreciate if we could not be late," Roger argued upon his entrance into the living room, lightly brushing past Saoirse on his way to the front entrance.

Elle looked up from her work immediately with a feigned, excited air.

"Oh, do you think you could accomplish writing the plays for your Quidditch team?" She inquired cheerfully, "Because personally, I'd love to have a life this semester, and spending hours with your plays really screws with my game-"

Roger snorted. "I don't consider spending hours with Jane Austen in the library having game."

Elle's hands flew up accusingly.  "And that's the problem with men."

Roger's eyes rolled into the back of his head with a sigh (and some uttered words that Elle didn't quite catch) before he allowed the front door to shut behind him.

....

Imagine the sensation of being cold. Got it? Splendid. Then, imagine dousing oneself in a frozen lake in a blizzard, getting out, and then jumping into a snow hill. Naked. That feeling, that miserable, twisted, evil feeling, was exactly what had settled upon Elle Davies on September 1st, 1992. Her hair, still dripping wet from the puddle of freezing rain (it was only sixty degrees according to Roger, but Elle resented it) that had fallen on her head the moment she had apparated into King's Cross Station had begun to seep icy dampness into her sweater and sent bone-deep chills through her body. The combination of Bowie, who had been yowling for ten minutes after the first roll of thunder, the tantamount groups of bustling people, and the splattering of the rain against the roof of the station all had Elle feeling a tad overstimulated.

Elle huddled closely against her mother as the group of three made their way through the groups of muggles who had no clue that Elle had lost feeling in her feet approximately eight minutes prior. A strand of cold, wet hair fell onto her cheek, and Elle balanced Bowie's cage on two fingers to swipe the piece away from her face before it could cause any more distress.

The brick wall connecting the Muggle world to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters produced a blast of cool, light air that felt like a slap in the face to Elle, who was certain that a mere whistle would surely freeze her solid. The busyness of Kings Cross blended and faded into the hooting of owls and the mix of familiar voices, and Elle suddenly felt warmer as the trio passed a spout of steam trailing up from beneath the train.

A flash of black hair, blue plaid, and Mary Jane's latest footwear release caught Elle's eye immediately. After Roger and Elle had bid their mother goodbye (who had already found some poor soul to chat the ears off of), the siblings went their separate ways; Roger had quickly found Eddie Carmichael, one of their fellow housemates and teammates. Elle bee-lined for the girl standing next to the entrance of the train who stood with her back to the Davies girl.

"Bitch," Elle whispered, inches from her shoulder due to the present company, and Liena Chang whipped around, her serious expression molding into a wide grin.

"Bitch," Liena exclaimed, also in a whisper, and sprung at Elle with her arms spread wide. Elle laughed into her friend's shoulder, holding her tight while attempting to keep Bowie's crate in her fingertips.

Liena's parents smiled tightly at Elle from behind Liena, and she gave a restricted wave due to her constrained range of motion (Liena was close to squeezing the life out of her) and the yowling cat who was on his very last straw and had decided that running circles in protest was the best course of action. Liena's parents were high up in the Ministry of Magic and had a very strict code of... standards. They seemed to like Elle fine, but she had no plans to attempt a deep connection with them; simply put, they put the fear of God in her. Elle had once been told by Liena's sister, Meili (who was a literal carbon copy of Liena), that she was almost certain that their parents truly believed it was still 1955.

"How was Croatia?" Elle wheezed when her friend finally released her, bid her parents goodbye, and helped Meili load her assets onto the train (with much protest from Meili).

"Oh, the usual, Mum bought us all matching fanny packs and Dad was the only one who wore one - he tried to get me to wear his favorite one with 'polka dots'. They were boobs."

Elle pressed her lips together tightly to prevent any expression from entering her face. "And just why didn't you want that one?" She asked as the girls began handing their luggage to the train attendants.

Liena sighed. "That would've given you full permission to hex me and I just wasn't feeling that."

"Ah-oi! Careful with the broomstick!" Elle scowled at the baggage attendant, who had grabbed her broomstick case a tad too aggressively for her taste.

"Have you ever considered making out with it? Honestly, it's a bit overdue," Liena said plainly, following closely behind Elle as they climbed the steps into the first train car.

Elle poked her lip out in thought. "I have thought about it."

Liena snorted. "Smashing."

The train corridor was packed; Elle and Liena had been pushed against the clear doors of the compartments and had no choice but to hug the wall as they made their way towards their usual car. As they approached a compartment near the end of the Gryffindor car, a gaggle of what appeared to be first-years came tumbling out of the open doorway and stomped across Elle's feet, which had so luckily just regained their feeling back.

"Watch it!" Elle snapped, and she heard Liena release several expletives.

"Sorry!" The first years exclaimed in embarrassment and red-faced, followed one another like ducks back into the compartment. Elle took some delight in how quickly they had flinched at her voice.

A voice somehow drifted above the clamor in the corridor; it was almost as if Elle's ear had been trained to register that grating, Scottish lilt because in less than half a second, and without having to search for it, she knew exactly who it belonged to. Her eyes locked in on the brunette form at the end of the corridor, coated in red and donning an obnoxious face. Oliver fucking Wood. A pit of annoyance bundled tightly in her stomach from the mere sight of him.

With a swift movement, she blindly grabbed Liena's hand behind her and quickened her pace. His back faced the corridor from the compartment doorway, where he was conversing (rather loudly, Elle thought) with some poor soul, allowing Elle and Liena to slip past him unnoticed. Liena sighed deeply once they had crossed into the next car, but said no more.

The words could go unsaid; anyone who knew Elle in the slightest needn't ask when it came to her unexplained hatred of Oliver Wood. She would say it was quite easily explainable and justified. Her closest friends had attempted in earlier years to talk some level of sense into her, but that effort had been long forsaken. It was a learned rule - one did not acknowledge the existence of Oliver Wood in Elle Davies' presence.

At long last, the girls reached the fifth compartment in the car; the door was open, but everything about the inside said: "reserved". A blonde, hidden behind the latest edition of Witch Weekly's gossip column and boasting a baby pink cable-knit sweater and matching headband, was draped across the bench to the right of the door. A collection of different newspapers was stacked carelessly on the floor beside her.

The brunette across from her was pressed against the far wall with an expressionless gaze; her fingers picked mindlessly at the strings in her maroon turtleneck sleeve as her eyes trailed the witches and wizards bustling beside the train. The remaining bench space beside her was covered entirely in folded cardboard boxes; the scent of warm, baked goods wafting from them solved the question of their contents.

Mandy Brocklehurst, upon hearing footsteps, peeked over the top of Witch Weekly. Elle had barely noticed this, her mood (and expression) still foul from the sight of the Gryffindor keeper.

"What's up with you?" The blonde inquired, cocking an eyebrow at Elle as she folded the newspaper closed. The brunette across from her looked away from the window upon the realization of the two girls' arrival.

Elle shrugged. "Just thinking about pelting Oliver Wood with a quaffle."

Radha Patil released a strangled snort from the back of her throat as Mandy rolled her eyes and pushed herself upright.

"Well, hello to you too."

Liena laughed, dropping her rucksack onto the bench beside Radha before plopping onto the cushion. Elle followed suit, taking Mandy's place by the window as Mandy stood to push the sliding door closed.

"I did miss you if that helps any," Elle disclaimed and pursed her lips as Mandy placed a hand under her chin and lightly squeezed her cheeks.

With a small chuckle, Mandy shook her head. "Duh."

The four Ravenclaws fell into chatter as they caught one another up on their summer expenditures. Elle had released Bowie from his confines a while into the journey, and he had settled into playing with Mandy's cat, Squirrel, on the carpet beneath the compartment window. Mandy faced Elle and leaned against the wall as she painted her nails with Squirrel nestled sleepily in her lap. Elle had picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet from Mandy's collection and had been skimming over it while ensuring Bowie hadn't caused any major mayhem as he played on the floor with Squirrel's toys. Liena and Radha had been playing cards for the better part of an hour, and the steady stream of "fuck" from Liena's mouth was an easy indication as to how that was going.

"Are you kidding?! I missed a fucking firebolt?! I'm going to kill her!"

Elle's eyes had grown to the size of saucers as they scanned the Daily Prophet headline: Quality Quidditch Supplies Announces Early Firebolt Release - Only Six Models Available in First Release.

Mandy flinched at the tone in her voice, and Radha dropped the deck of cards she'd been protecting against her chest. The Patil girl began snatching the cards up, so desperate to hide them that she didn't quite catch Liena's gaze as it sneakily dropped to the exposed cards.

"Who?" Mandy asked, concerned.

"My mum!"

"You wouldn't really get rid of your broom-" Liena commented, eyeing Radha suspiciously as the girls restarted their game of cards.

"Of course not," Elle said quickly, "but it's the firebolt! I cannot believe I wasn't there-" She fell against the back of the bench in despair and slapped a palm to her forehead in utter disbelief.

Mandy sighed, her lips tight and her eyes wide as she said nothing and continued painting her nails. The girls were thoroughly used to Elle's extreme passion for Quidditch and had quickly learned that the best antidote was to simply allow her to simmer in her feelings.

"Now, hear me out," Radha began, "and maybe call me crazy, but is it just me or is it truly concerning that you're more distraught about the firebolt release than, oh, I don't know, the escaped mass murderer?"

Elle leveled her an unimpressed glare. "So, I'm a shitty person. Sue me."

"It's more concerning that he escaped in the first place," Mandy said mindlessly as she scraped a streak of stray polish from the tip of her finger.

"Just as a disclaimer, I do care about the mass murderer," Elle said, holding her hands out to emphasize her point.

"I think you're the mass murderer, Elle," Liena suggested nonchalantly. Earning a groan from Elle, she looked up, a feigned serious expression on her features. "Really! Y'know, some wizards are, like, advanced and shit and they can transfigure into other people. He could be sitting right here in this room and we'd never know."

Elle frowned. "I am ninety percent sure you just made that up."

Mandy humphed in agreement. Liena simply narrowed her eyes at the two girls and returned to Radha, who had grown impatient at the lack of attention from her game partner.

The sun dipped beneath the Scottish mountains as the Hogwarts Express trekked across the highlands. The girls, still engaged in their occupations, hardly noticed when the compartment door slid open quietly, allowing a petite, blonde head to poke into the room.

"How's it going in here?"

The preppy voice shook Elle from the trance she'd been trapped in and her head snapped towards the source of the grating sound. Becky Arncliffe, her hair pulled back neatly in a clip and dressed in freshly ironed Ravenclaw robes, stood awkwardly in the doorway. Becky was a fellow Ravenclaw in their year whom Elle had never seen interact with anyone outside the girls' dormitories other than if she had been bossing people around. The girl seemed to struggle with being - well - likable, and most people were overcome with a sudden urge to get away from her the moment she opened her mouth.

"Fantastic, Becky," Liena said, not taking her eyes off the book she was engrossed in. The other three girls murmured soft agreements.

"Well, I just wanted to pop in and let you ladies know that I'll be the Ravenclaw prefect for this term! If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to let me know," the blonde said, her bangs bobbing with her head as she spoke excitedly.

"We'll be sure to do that, Becky," Elle said, forcing a stiff smile onto her lips.

The Arncliffe girl squeaked happily. "Fantastic. Do y–"

Her sentence was cut short as the atmosphere around them turned pitch-black and the world seemed to halt.

"What the–" Elle began, but was also cut short as the train lurched suddenly and began slowing at a rapid pace.

      The tracks released a deafening screech as it did so, and Elle's vision grew spotty as she became lightheaded from the noise. Becky, whose loose footing wasn't enough to keep her rooted to the doorway, was thrown through the doorway and onto the floor; the door slammed shut behind her. A yowl echoed off the compartment walls and was soon followed by a strangled cry from Liena as Bowie jumped onto her lap, scratching at her legs in his attempt to scurry away from Becky, who was still sprawled on the carpet.

"Fuck!"

In the chaos, Liena, clutching at her fresh injuries, pushed Bowie off of her lap back onto Becky, who had begun pulling herself from the floor. Bowie flew into her chest, knocking her backward onto Elle's legs; before she could try to sit up, Bowie used her body as a ramp into Elle's lap. Elle's arms locked around the animal and she held him tightly against her chest, screwing her face as she tried to ignore the claws that had embedded themselves in her skin.

"Motherfucker-" Radha gasped loudly, holding her knee where Becky's Mary Janes had rammed into it when she'd fallen in the chaos.

A loud clamber and the pressure against Elle's legs told her that Becky was attempting to stand; Elle's hand shot out and grabbed her shoulder to keep her on the floor.

"Stay!" She yelled.

"I need to speak with the conductor–" Becky began importantly.

"Nobody's speaking to the shitting conductor," Mandy interjected shortly, "You can't get two steps without trampling someone in here. We already have like sixteen injuries."

Becky sighed and leaned against the seat on the ground.

"That's my foot, Lie."

"Oops."

Mandy, who was closest to the door, stood and pushed the door ajar before leaning out to glance at the corridor; after a few seconds, she closed it and sat back down.

"Well?"

Elle couldn't tell who was saying what, anymore.

"Lights are out everywhere, it looks like. Nobody seems to know what's going on."

"Fantastic."

The rain pelting against the window grew louder as the sound of the pistons grew soft and the train came to a complete stop. Elle's gaze snapped toward the corners of the window as she clocked movement. Her eyes widened and her breath illuminated against the glass as she watched small crystals of ice bloom across the surface.

"Is that ice?" Radha asked incredulously.

A biting chill filled the air; Elle wrapped Bowie deeper within her sweater as the animal shivered and held him closely.

In the flash of black, white, and something a little more sinister, Elle's vision suddenly became murky. Her skin tingled as though every nerve was shot, and her eyes squinted as she fought the darkness; she only managed to capture blurry images and muffled voices. A distant, deep voice echoed somewhere within her consciousness but she hadn't the ability to process the reality of it. Elle's grip on the quivering animal against her chest loosened as every system fought unconsciousness. A dark mass floated in front of her, at first without a face. It drew closer. And closer. It was a man... she knew him. How did she know him? His features were murky, swimming darkly within her vision, almost entirely indistinct yet so familiar...

Elle's torso slumped sideways, barely held up by the elbow that had fallen perfectly onto the cushion. His face was almost clear - so close–

The lights flickered on, and the face spiraled away from her as though vacuumed backward. Her eyes slammed closed against the unwelcome brightness, and awareness of her body slowly returned.

"Elle, you okay?" Elle didn't know who had said it, but she squinted her eyes open to search for the source. She couldn't reply if she wanted to; every bit of her energy was being used to keep herself sitting up straight.

"Hey, Elle."

Two blurry figures appeared in her vision, and Elle finally allowed her eyes to open in wider slits. Bowie was still attached to her sweater, but had snuggled beneath her chin; it dawned on her that his body was the only thing keeping her head up.

"Elle."

Elle swallowed thickly and fully opened her eyes to see Mandy's features in full view. The blonde hovered on the floor in front of her, her eyes filled with concern. Fingers held Elle's arm tightly, and she caught sight of Becky grasping her wrist, appearing to check her pulse. Elle slowly pulled her arm out of Becky's hands and shook her head.

"Okay..." She said as she exhaled slowly. "What happened?"

"It looked like a dementor," Came Radha's voice from behind Mandy.

The comment woke Elle significantly from her stupor. "Uhhh... okay?"

"Does anyone have any chocolate?" Mandy asked and turned toward the group.

"I have chocolate muffins," Radha suggested, gesturing toward the boxes on the bench behind her.

"Perfect."

Elle's head was surely going to explode. Pressure pounded against her skull in rhythm with her heartbeat and she wanted nothing more than to lie down.

Before she knew it, a piece of chocolate muffin had been shoved into her palm. The moment the warm pastry hit her throat, a warmth spread through her extremities, and the urge to lie on the floor almost entirely dissipated.

"Better?" Mandy asked, her brows furrowed in concern.

"Much," Elle replied, surprised at the sensation.

      The man's indistinct face stained her vision. Her stomach lurched as she swallowed another piece of the chocolate muffin, handed to her by Mandy.

The remaining silent ride to the castle felt like an eternity. When the train finally slowed to its final stop, the cats returned to their crates and as the girls gathered their belongings, Becky slipped from the compartment with a very serious comment to Elle about seeing Madam Pomfrey. Elle had simply nodded with a forced smile. As the group stepped onto the platform, they linked arms and ran to the nearest carriage as they were continuously pelted with thick, icy sheets of rain. Mandy kept a light hand on Elle's back as the girls climbed hastily into the carriage as though she might fall backward. The moment Liena slammed the door shut, Radha muttered a warming charm through chattering teeth,

Waves of nausea crashed over Elle as the carriage hit every bump and rut in the road leading to the castle; she forced her eyes forward and swallowed the bile that chose to surface in her throat after every curve. She wasn't alone; Radha had closed her eyes two minutes into the journey and seemed to be fighting just as courageously against the feeling. Through the window, the large, stone castle loomed out of the darkness; its silhouette illuminated when a large bolt of lightning flashed behind it.

The moment the feeling of movement beneath their feet came to a halt, Elle clamored towards the door, desperate to escape the confined space. As she moved swiftly from the top platform of the steps, her foot caught the slick mud that had caked on the step during the bumpy trek. Her vision swirled as she caught air, and right as her hands shot out to brace her impact, she felt a set of hands grab her arms and steady her just in time.

Catching her breath, she looked up to thank the person but her tongue paused at the sight.

"Watch yourself, Davies."

His voice had Elle reeling, and with her newfound energy, she jerked her arms from his grip.

"I would've rather have fallen in the mud," She snapped.

Oliver Wood shrugged as he jogged backward, not missing a step in the rutted, muddy drive. "See you on the field!"

And then he was gone up the front steps, leaving Elle perplexed, irate, and exhausted in front of the carriage. Her hand flew to her forehead tiredly.

"Fuck." She needed Jane Austen, stat.

author's note.

was this chapter almost 4
months in the making? we
won't talk about it.

i will never say enough how much
I miss this book! this rewrite
WILL be my proudest life's
work thank u and goodnight.

thank you for reading! <3