Me: regular van aka cousin : bold
(singing) Champagne cocaine gasoline!
Wait what?
Its a panic at the disco song!
----------------------------------
note this happen while I was on a video call

*phone rings, answers it* oh! It's Michael, and Matthew oh and look it's van.
Aww did your boyfriend call?
He's not my boyfriend! *gets up grabs baseball bat holds it*
You hit me with that your paying my bills *grabs base ball bat behind my neck*
*moves bat and puts him in a choke hold and aims video camera at us.* yep this happens almost every time.

Note in the process I was half tempted to to pick up my guitar and hit him but I didn't because I am a nice person.

---------------------------------

*puts on snap back pulls jacket hood over turns on Hollywood undead and walks over to trampoline.*
Oh no ghetto abbie with her ghetto Micky mouse hat is here!
Whatever I'm getting a new SnapBack soon anyways, *its deadpool, I tried getting a LA so I could be like Charlie scene yea dad couldn't find one.*

-----------------------------

Just imagine van, somebody getting pulled over for doing a drive by while also drinking and doing ok and tells the cop he didn't do it.
Six minutes earlier. *shoting gun hands drink hand bear and hand pot*
*laughs* six minutes later he's probably like, MOMMY HELP ME THEY ARE PUTTING ME IN HANDCUFFS AND PUSHING ME INTO A CAR, I THINK THEY ARE GONNA RAPE ME!!!!!!

-------------------

(Edit I took this next story out true to how long it is and the large usage of the word weed and I'm on a school iPad XD no shame)