facing your fears

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"You really think this is going to be a good idea?", Coran whispered, so that only Allura could hear him.
"Yes, Coran. Of course it is. "
She turned her back to him and faced the Paladins of Voltron once again to speak with unmatched determination.
"The five of you have slowly gotten used to your lions and even connected as a family.
However, your training has just started yet.
We are the force that is supposed to fight Zarkon. The most powerful enemy you could ever imagine.
In order to brace yourselves, each of you has to face their own biggest fear.
The planet we just came across to is in fact a living creature. One cannot survive if you are not aware of yourselves and your fears.
The smoke gathering all over the place will trigger illusions. Illusions you will have to fight.
I will grant all of you about one earthen hour on that planet. You will not be able to talk to any of us during that time.
At the same time, the rest of the paladins staying here will be allowed to watch your every move.
Do not take this mission as lightly as you did with the training when you just started Voltron!
So, who wants to go first?!"

Needless to say the expressions were marvelous.
"Well, if I may. How about I'll get a reward if I am going to go first?!", obviously it was Lance who spoke up, trying to flirt his way through it. Like always, leaving the mental image of a giant facepalm on Allura's displeased features.
"Definitely not you, Lance. I mean someone who actually takes this mission seriously should go first.
Also, it would be better if someone goes first who already had to face real hardships, don't you think?
No offense, but with you as the first one to go, nobody will here will be able to understand the danger of the place."
Allura's words were more kind than anything, but firm as well. Lance waved it off, not that he had expected any less.
"Alright, if that is the case. I may go last then.", he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'll go.", Shiro volunteered as expected. He was their leader after all.

And so he went. And it went just the way anyone had anticipated. It was no secret that Shiro was suffering from PTSD. His life had been threatened more than once, he had been captured by the enemy for a whole year and during that time he had lost his right arm.
The pain was unimaginable. Shiro was facing it again. The hardship of being locked up again, but this time without any hope left.
His vision showed how Voltron was destroyed, his friends were dead, even Pidge's brother had an appearance. First as a brainwashed enemy, than as a dead friend.
For Shiro this was more than he could bear. But he was Shiro and never would he forget that his friends were watching him in exactly that moment.
He told the vision of Haggar, who had transformed into a Shiro with yellow glowing eyes once more, that he would never give up. Not as long as at least someone was still there to watch out for him.
And that was how he managed to leave. Excepting his fate and still grasping for hope.

The next one to go was Pidge.
Her vision was not nearly as heartbreaking as Shiro's had been. In fact, after seeing what Shiro had to deal with, even the death of her family, the striving force for her every action, was not as frightening as she had expected.
Moreover, it was only a matter of time until she figured out that she had another family now. The paladins of Voltron. Even if her family was gone, she would still have someone to rely on.

Keith was the third.
He envisioned a time of loneliness. A time back in his small shack, with everyone gone that he had met until that point. He was afraid to be forgotten, to not be recognized and to be left behind again.
They saw his father leaving him, they saw Shiro leaving him.
They saw a life after the last battle of Voltron, with everyone back home and Keith having nowhere to go to.
Until he, the hot headed guy he was, broke down the visible walls, shouting that he would always find a way out again. That someone would remember him and that he would somehow make himself a name.
It was rather embarrassing, even for someone like Keith.

Then came Hunk.
And his fear was actually the biggest surprise until now. Nobody but Lance knew that Hunk had struggled through a harsh childhood. Living on the streets, without any home to go to.
Hunk, just like Keith, had been an orphan. But his life was different.
He was actually living on the street. Not with an orphanage, not with anyone around to help him.
He had been living in a garbage dump, trying to make money from small machines he build or repaired.
But Hunk's greatest fear was to starve again. He knew the sensation, he remembered the cold and harsh days in winter when everything there was to eat was a rotten piece of bread someone had thrown out the window.
Hunk's fear was not only mental, it could almost be felt while people were watching him.
And it finally revealed why Hunk had been so obsessed with cooking. Not only for himself but others as well.
So that nobody would ever have to starve again. It also got a great impact on his kindness, as the way he got rid of his fear were the smiling faces of people he made happy through his cooking.
Not only the paladins of Voltron, but some unknown faces as well.
Such as a stray dog or random orphans and homeless people.
Hunk was a true gift to mankind, so that even Allura had to wipe her tears.

The last one, was Lance.
Now, as Lance made his first step into the woods, he was sure that nothing of this could face him as much as whatever the others had to face before.
Moreover, his friends were almost bored, if not curious what the hyperactive Lance McClain could ever be afraid of.
And of course, it proved them right, that it could not possibly be anything harsh or dangerous, as the girl appeared. A girl, who would have guessed. A girl that was most likely to reject him, as Keith so shamelessly said.
But even Hunk was at a loss. Even he had never seen this girl before. Not only that, but she seemed oddly familiar, not to mention that she was about five years old. (Way to go there, Keith)
What actually put the Paladins, Coran and Allura at a total loss was actually Lance's terrified expression in spite of her cheerful appearance.
"I'm sorry, Lance!", she suddenly started. Her eyes were kind, forgiving for some reason, guilty for another.
"I should not have started this ridiculous fight. It was not your fault, I promise. You told me this would happen, but I refused to listen."
How could Lance be afraid of that? It was an apology, was it not? The paladins shared a look of concern, until they realized that it was Lance's expression that hid the answer.
He simply did not believe her.
"Come on, Lance. You know it is not your fault, right?! You warned me. You said you would not watch over me anymore.
You told me you would not be able to help me, if I were to drown.
How would you have known this would actually become true? It was not your fault! Lance?"
Lance was trembling, but his eyes showed it all.
Regret.
Pain.
Doubt.
He knelt down and put his hand on her shoulder. "Rose, listen. It does not matter who is at fault anymore, right?
You do not even exist outside of my mind.
What our parents said does not make a difference. That fight could have been avoided. That stupid fight should not have let me said those things.
It might have been an accident, but I did nothing to prevent it.
I might not be at fault, but I still let you die.
I only need you, only someone in this world to blame me! Only one to tell me it was my fault. Or else I cannot accept whats happened.
Or else I would have to forgive myself and loose every purpose of my life.
My memory of you is not holding me back, it is a reminder to make things different, to make thinks right.
I need this to move on, Rose."
The girl smiled at him, her eyes sad.
"I thought you were here to face you fear.", she stated calmly.
Lance smiled back. "You are right, I did.
I did come here to face you, not, to conquer you."


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