I realized I loved her when we were all already in high school. It was a new year, we felt more like adults, so the mood was different.

We had a more concrete group of friends.

Two specifically being Donghyuck and Haneul, both a year younger than us. They actually had started dating before their freshman year of high school and from then on, the four of us were this very close-knit group, even when Gayoung had skipped a grade ahead at this point. 

That was just us, the four of us always together in high school.

It wasn't when I was just hanging out with Donghyuck around my third year of high school and I had asked him about how his relationship with Haneul was, since they never seem like a couple. I've never seen them hold hands, kiss or have any kind of PDA, so I was wondering if they were actually a thing. They've been together for a year at that point and I was curious.

And what he told me was that that was just their thing. That they would have their moments but this was what they're comfortable with, they liked teasing and insulting each other all the time. 

And that was just how they both were.

He told me there are ways only she can make him smile, make him laugh, give him a warmth. Haneul was always in his mind. He liked her and she liked him, that was enough for him to know what they had was real.

And that... seriously opened my eyes, to be honest. That was one of the few times I've seen Donghyuck so serious, so it really stuck with me.

It was then after that conversation I started noticing how much Gayoung was in my mind, whether on how pretty she looked that day, or that her laugh was pretty cute. There had been times I may have been a little too protective over her, and Haneul noted this to me before, telling me that I was babying Gayoung too much. 

It's only because I worry. I didn't want anything bad to happen to her even when I knew she was capable on taking care of herself.

I didn't care about her condition one bit, I didn't care that she didn't know what my face looked like. She still knew me and was one of my bestest friends.

And with the love songs I've made up until that moment? I haven't noticed until then that I made those with her in mind.

That's when I really knew what I was feeling for her.

I was in love with Cha Gayoung, the girl who knew me by my voice.

That love never wavered. I still love her.