Ashvale

Koldis held tight to Claire's shoulders as she jerked in his grasp. Like the others, he could do nothing but watch the top of her head from where he stood as she babbled, gasped, and jerked against him. Whatever the drink had done, whatever it had shown her, had happened within her own mind. He'd gathered snippets. Words. Queen Jade's name, Kane's name, Isabella's name. But beyond the few things she'd said, he could not say what she'd seen. And then she jerked a final time and he knew it was over—felt her sigh of relief as she relaxed against him, opening and closing her hands.

He held her shoulders a moment longer, just to be sure she was all right, then released her and sat back down. No one said a word, and from the expression on Claire's face, he could see why. She looked like she'd seen things—things she hadn't wanted to see. He had to bite his tongue to keep from speaking. She needed a few moments to come back to herself.

It was Lixiss who broke the silence. "Whatever you saw, girl. Keep it to yourself. If the Tree wanted the world to know, he would make it so." Claire's eyes darted around their group, as if only realizing they were there. She was fighting a battle; he could tell by the confliction in her gaze. As if she wanted to talk about it, but wasn't sure what she should say. Perhaps what she had seen had thoroughly confused her.

"When the Tree shows me things," Taylynn said, her voice calm and hesitant, "the things I see are often jumbled, frightening, and make little sense. Sometimes they seem absolutely unbelievable. The Tree shows me enough to provide food for thought; it relies on me to make sense of it. I will venture a guess here, that what you have seen is much the same as what I often see. You will need time to digest the Tree's food. Time with your thoughts." A moment of silence and then, "We will take you back to the cottage and give you some space."

Koldis sighed, though it was involuntary. He would never tell her, but Taylynn's advice brought him peace. He half expected the Sprite princess to begin questioning his queen, demanding answers in front of all of them. And in truth, he wanted answers. Instead, she'd done the opposite, she'd exhibited understanding. Even if the hungry expression on her face said otherwise; Taylynn wanted answers as badly as the rest of them.

Claire gave a curt nod and got to her feet. He hovered—he couldn't help it. She wasn't moving as confidently as she usually did. He wanted to be close in case she needed an arm to lean on. Their goodbyes to Lixiss were hurried and brief. The Sprite ushered them out with a knowing smile. Something told him she was unsurprised by Claire's behavior, had probably seen it time and again.

They took Claire back to the cottage and saw her comfortably settled in the attic with a cup of tea in hand. Jeanine and Feowen announced that they were going for a long walk. A few moments later, Taylynn announced the same. Koldis, glad to find her alone, knelt before Claire, putting his gaze level with hers. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.

She lifted an eyebrow. "You're fretting like a nursemaid, you know."

A bark of laughter exploded from his chest. He wasn't sure what he had expected her to say, but her sense of humor was welcome. "Can you blame me?"

She shrugged, sipping her tea. "I...I saw things. Lots of things. I do want to talk about it with you. But maybe after I've had some time to make sense of it. If...If I ever manage to make sense of it."

Eager desire made him speak before he thought better of it. "Perhaps talking about it would help make sense of it?"

"It might." Her eyes took on a faraway look. "And it might not. No. Taylynn was right. I should spend some time alone with my thoughts." She reached out to trace his jawline with her fingers, perhaps hoping the gesture would take away some of the sting he felt about being sent away.

He nodded, understanding what it felt like to want privacy. "I'll just...go have a walk myself, then." He stood and hesitated. "Please do not leave the cottage, Claire. You know I do not like leaving you unprotected and we are in an unfamiliar place."

"I won't leave," she said. "You have my word."

That made him feel better as he took his leave, paying her a final glance over his shoulder before he left her in the attic.

***

Taylynn sat with her legs crossed, eyes closed, a peaceful look on her face. Somehow he'd known where to find her, tucked away just outside of Ashvale proper. He took a seat on the mossy ground beside her facing the same direction, not too close, and took up much the same pose as she, forearms draped gently on his knees with his hands dangling. He stared into the forest, letting his eyes go unfocused. He wasn't even sure why he'd followed her here.

"Come to irritate me some more, Drengr?" She hadn't opened her eyes, so that meant she could simply sense him.

Her words were nearly identical to what she had said the night before, except this time, she substituted irritate for accuse. He'd apologized for his rash accusations—after having to knock at her door not once, but twice—and it had grated him to do so. Especially because someone like Taylynn would know if his apology was not genuine, which meant humbling himself more than he had wanted. She had merely narrowed her eyes, hesitated, nodded, then shut the door in his face.

"As much as it pleases me to do so, Sprite, no. Irritating you is not my intension. At least, not at this moment." Perhaps it was a satisfying answer enough, because she said nothing more, so he sat in silence and followed her lead, closing his eyes. Listening to the forest. Except, it wasn't just the breeze through the trees or the chattering of bugs that he heard.

At this very instant, he knew exactly where each forest creature was located in close proximity to them. Normally, he did what he could to tune out their thoughts and feelings, and sometimes it was easier than others. Now, it seemed, there were so many that his breathing turned raged and panicked.

"Meditation is supposed to calm the spirit, Koldis, not agitate it."

His eyes flew open at the sound of his name on her tongue. He turned to her, eager to snap back, to say something smart in response. And yet. "Would that I could find peace in letting my mind relax, but I cannot." He turned away and closed his eyes again, hoping—and yet not hoping—that would put an end to their conversation.

"What do you hear when you shut your eyes?" she asked, voice low, curious.

"Life," he said, before he could stop himself, before he could take it back. The word was followed by his own shock—anger at himself for letting something private like this slip. He hadn't even told Claire what ailed him. Why did Taylynn deserve to know?

"Yes, I can see why that would be agitating. It is like that for me too, sometimes. Most of the time what I see, feel, and hear is just too much." His eyes snapped open again and he turned to study her. She didn't look as she often did: wise, tall, and proud. Instead, she looked small and hunched, curled in on herself. And she wasn't looking at him. "I never asked for this," she whispered.

Something inside of him broke open at those words—dark calling to dark. The urge to reach out to her, to touch her, was overpowering, but he clamped down on it. When she looked up at him, her eyes were old, deep wells of duty and overwhelming burden.

"Is there any way to make it stop?" he asked, without really explaining what it was that truly ailed him.

She shook her head. He could never be sure what she did and didn't know. It was one of the things that often rankled him. "You can accept it, live with it. But you cannot fight it. Have you ever gone swimming in the ocean?"

"I—" The sudden change in topic was jarring. His brows pulled together. "I live by the coast. Of course I have."

She nodded. "I did once, too. It was..."

A huff of laughter fell from his lips. He couldn't help it. The thought of her swimming—and then something inside of him curled, scraping along the inside of his chest. Taylynn's lips turned up at the corners, suppressing a knowing response to his emotions. "Somehow the thought of a Sprite Princess in the ocean is as foreign as—"

"—as a Drengr in the forest. Which is why we can never be, Lord Koldis. That, among other things."

His jaw dropped. He could only gape at her, not quite sure what she meant. Was she rejecting him when he'd never attempted to court her? Not that he would. Gods! He didn't know his own true feelings. So how could she?

"My point is, Koldis, when you swim in the ocean, there are always strong currents looking to sweep you away. And they will if you don't fight them. But here, fighting does nothing more than exhaust the spirit. In your case, you must let the current guide you, take you where it will. Let it break over you and sweep you into its arms. Then and only then will you find peace with what you feel."

He stared at her. "That's..." He licked his lips and noticed that her eyes darted to the motion. "That's your advice? Really? A bit obvious, don't you think?"

She shrugged and stood. But he wasn't ready for their conversation to end, so he jumped to his feet. She lingered, perhaps uncertain now that he matched her posture. Her throat bobbed. "What do you think she saw today? Lady Claire?" There was a vulnerability in her voice that he seldom heard from her. It was unexpected. Foreign. It elicited protective instincts he'd rather ignore. Not that she needed protecting.

He shook his head. "No idea. None whatsoever." He hesitated. "You and I aren't enemies, you know."

At this, she huffed. "No, you and I are something else entirely. Certainly not enemies, though it would be much easier that way, wouldn't you agree?" She took a single step back. Her gaze made him feel all too exposed. "Remember what I said about the currents, Koldis."

"No, wait." Without thinking, he reached for her hand to keep her from walking away. She had already turned and taken several steps. She hesitated, then looked down at their hands, watched him lace his fingers through hers—which made no sense whatsoever.

He frowned. He didn't have feelings for her—rather, he couldn't stand her. Why was he holding her hand? Why was he reluctant to allow her to leave?

His gaze traced the look on her face, the impossible beauty of her narrow nose and pointed chin, the jumping pulse at her throat. Taylynn's expression changed when their eyes met. Pity? No. Not quite that. Sadness. Pools of it. "We can never be, Koldis. I told you that." And then she gently pulled her hand from his and left him standing there, blinking after her.

In that moment as he watched her disappear, a deep and painful realization pounded against his chest, sucking the air straight from his lungs. No. It couldn't be. The gods would never curse him in such a way. He huffed, shook his head. A strangled laugh fell from his lips. His disbelief was powerful enough to be denial. He was being ridiculous. All of this—ridiculous.

And yet...

"Taylynn, wait." He made his feet move to rush after her, but even after chasing her down the path through the forest—something he knew was very stupid—he could not find her. He stopped, turned, and realized that he was lost. Well and good, he thought, cursing his actions. "Go back to the cottage, Koldis." Her words were a mere hint of a whisper on the wind. He wasn't sure if she'd spoken to his mind or simply ridden the currents of air around him. A path opened up and he saw the way, clear and defined, as if it had always been there.

He took it, knowing what it would mean, knowing that it would lead to safety. But there was another path, one carved through his heart, one that he knew would lead to nothing but heartbreak. That was the path his adled mind wanted to take. That was the path that would break him. And he knew it, as surely as he knew how to breath fire.

***

Hours later, Koldis found everyone gathered in the attic. The path he'd taken hadn't been long, but he'd managed to slow his approach with each step as the severity of his reality crashed around him. He should have known—should have seen it. He'd been too distracted by his heightened abilities in the forest to think clearly.

His eyes found Taylynn the moment he entered, gracefully curled on a pouf with a book in her hand. He was certain she wasn't reading; her eyes were not even moving across the page. She did not look up to greet him as the others did. Feowen and Jeanine were sitting at the table working on their puzzle, chatting in quiet tones about their walk.

He drew himself up and barked, "Out. Now. All of you. I would speak to Claire alone." There was no patience in his tone—no room for argument in the command he issued. There was a bloated hesitation, and then Feowen—damn him—snickered and took Jeanine's hand, leading her from the room. Taylynn was slower to rise. She paid him a look, no longer ignoring him, a look that contained a silent plea. He blinked and turned away, dismissing her to look at Claire, who sat frowning up at him.

When the door closed, he heaved a heavy sigh and all but fell into the pouf across from Claire, pitching the bridge of his nose.

"Uhm. Did I miss something? What the hell was that for?" He didn't answer. "I would've expected that kind of a command from Talon, but not from you, Shield."

"Yes, yes..." he muttered.

"Koldis, what's going on." It wasn't a question. It was a demand. A command.

"You were right," he said, letting the words tumble from his mouth before he could stop them. Claire sat up straighter. "There is something going on between Taylynn and...and myself."

Gods. Damn it all to hell. He rubbed his palms on his pant legs. He clenched and unclenched his hands. Making fists felt like he could squeeze the life out of a problem that was impossible to solve. A problem he never wanted. "I never asked for this," she'd said. Because of course she hadn't been complaining about any kind of mutual ability they shared. A mutual struggle where both of them could hear more within the forest than others did. No, it was because she didn't want him—didn't want the bond between them. And he didn't want her either. Did he?

"Koldis?"

"Huh?"

"You were going to tell me what's going on."

"Oh. Right." He glanced around.

"Does it have anything to do with why you've been so weird since coming to the forest?"

"Of course not. Wait. Maybe."

"Gods, you males are impossible sometimes." She said it with a fond smile. "Why don't you just tell me. Start at the beginning if you have to."

"That—I can do that."

So he did. He told her everything, from the moment he set foot in the forest and felt the thoughts, emotions, and feelings of the animals increase, to the rise in irritability he felt around Taylynn, to the way he couldn't stop thinking about her, looking at her, yearning for her.

"You've got a crush," Claire said, giggling. She immediately covered her mouth with both hands to stop the sound.

"I am not done," he drawled to quiet her. "And no, it is not so simple as a childlike fancy. Truthfully, I did not realize how not-simple it was until today." She lifted an eyebrow so he continued, relaying in great detail the encounters he'd had with Taylynn up through this afternoon. As he recounted everything, Claire's smile faded until it was replaced by wide-eyed shock. When he finished, the room was so silent he was able to hear laughter from the cookery below. Feowen and Jeanine, probably baking more bread. He wasn't sure if Taylynn had left. He hoped that she had.

"Koldis," Claire's voice was a choked whisper. "Koldis..." The second time she said his name, he heard the panic in her voice. Her face crumbled. "You...you're sure? Absolutely sure? She hasn't touched your scales, so how could you possibly know?"

"No. No, she hasn't. And she never will," he decided, sitting straighter.

"No—"

"No, what, Claire?"

"No, you cannot just...just pretend this isn't happening. You can't just deny her—it. The bond."

"I can. Or have you forgotten what I am?"

"I..." The color had drained from her face, leaving her cheeks pale.

"Talon would never—" She shook her head. "He'd never deny you this."

He snorted. "Just because both of you have found your happily ever after."

"Hardly!" She threw up her hands. "If you think the easy part is over between Talon and I, you're wrong. I probably won't even live through this Kane thing."

"And you think I am any better off?" he roared, jumping to his feet. Downstairs, everything went silent. He took a deep breath.

"Sit down," she hissed, clearly not impressed by his outburst.

He plopped down—very improper like. "Apologies, my queen. I did not mean to lose my temper."

"Forgiven," she waved a hand to brush it away. "Koldis, I want to tell you what I know of Verath, because..." She shook her head. "But I can't. I made a promise, didn't I. Alright," she said, babbling on. "You came to me and told me this because clearly you're looking for advice. And apparently I'm your queen now, I suppose." She still wasn't looking at him. "I understand the severity of this, believe me, I do. It's not just your oath to Talon. You're a Drengr and she's a Sprite. Sprite royalty, to be more precise. She will rule once her mother—if her mother—dies. But it wouldn't be the first time, hmm? Queen Isabella and King Eymar—"

"Look where that got them—" he barked.

She paid him a look that had him snapping his mouth shut. There was more of Talon in her than she probably realized; Talon didn't tolerate interruptions either.

"You're right. Their love didn't get them far when their daughter decided to flee Kastali Dun and come to my world, something I'm certain the King Tree had a hand in. Branch in? Trees don't have hands, do they. Ugh." She covered her eyes for a moment, then rubbed her temples. "That damned Tree has a hand in everything, doesn't it? Which makes me think...but never mind. The matter is this: there is a bond between you and Taylynn. You both can't stand each other, which, mind you, is something I live for. Enemies to lovers. Star-crossed-lovers. All that." He gaped at her. "I know, I know. She can't leave the forest because she's royalty and will probably rule some day. And you can't come live in the forest because, well, you're a Drengr. Annnnd you're also a King's Shield. But..."

"But what?" He crossed his arms, smothering his rising amusement as he watched his queen try and fight a battle for him. She was rather cute when she tried to solve other people's problems. She'd make a fine ruler when the time came.

"Buuut you both will live long lives. Think of it as a silver lining. If she were human, she'd be dead in another what, eighty years? Instead, she will live a long life, you will live a long life, and voila, you can both make each other happy in the limited time you get to spend together."

"You are jesting, no?"

She opened her mouth. "I'm being perfectly serious. Taylynn leaves the forest all the time. She even admitted it. You can visit each other, see each other here and there. Something tells me the two of you wouldn't want to spend all your time together anyway." She huffed at this last part.

He ground his teeth together. "You don't understand, Claire. If we—if we mated."

"The bond, yes I know."

"Isabella didn't live an immortal life once she tied herself to Eymar. Taylynn will take up my lifespan."

"Taylynn would be giving up immortality. So what? Isn't she already like, super old anyway? Maybe she wouldn't mind. As for the Sprite throne. Her heir, if the two of you have a—"

"Don't you dare!" He growled. He hadn't meant to sound so menacing but if she dared mention what she was about to. She froze and shut her mouth. "You're impossible," he grumbled. "I hope you know that."

"I'm just saying..."

"Yes, I know exactly what you are just saying." But the mere possibility left his insides flaming hot. This was too dangerous. He shook his head. "Regardless of your points, it would invalidate my oath."

She shrugged. "Who invented the oath thing, anyway? Seems pretty outdated to me. Maybe you and Talon could work out some kind of agreement. It's not like you'd leave your king's side. Maybe take a little vacation here and there. Look, all I'm saying is, let's not rule anything out just yet. Okay?" There was so much hope in her eyes, so much warmth, that he found words impossible. He sighed. His shoulders fell. "We'll figure it out together, Koldis. All right?"

He swallowed. Even though she was his queen, he couldn't find the courage to make any promise of the kind. Taylynn wouldn't want him even if he did. And he? What did he want?

"As for the other thing—" A pillow smacked him in the face. He jerked back, flinging it away, eyes wide. "You should have told me you pig-headed-oaf. You should have told me about your ability. But instead you thought I'd make a big deal out of it. Come on, look who you're talking to. Drengr voices in my head, remember?" She tapped her temple. "All the time."

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose again. "Yes. I should have thought it through better. I suppose in that regard, we are not so different you and I."

"Oh, we're plenty different. You're a pig-headed-oaf. And I? I am a queen." The grin on her face made up for the lack of teasing in her tone.

"Fine." He flung the pillow back at her. "Fine. Next time, I'll be more forthcoming."

"You'd better," she scoffed, stretching. Silence fell, and then—"I could do with a nap after the ordeal of this morning."

"Shall I escort you to your room, my queen?" He stood and held out his hand.

She eyed it a moment before she took it and let him pull her up. "Yes, I think that's a good idea." He did exactly that.

After he closed her door, he looked down the long hallway and stood silently, listening. He had no desire to venture out for another walk. The evening meal was a few hours away yet. He had a lot of thinking to do. So instead, he went to his chamber and slipped inside.

He found Taylynn standing with her arms crossed. Waiting for him. He swore under his breath. The Sprite princess dominated the center of his room. In her anger—for she was obviously furious—she looked about ten times taller than her usual height, which came to the center of his chest.

He gave her a toothy smile. "Well now, Princess, after such a pretty speech earlier, I hadn't expected to find you in my room so soon. Changed your mind, have you?" He kept his voice low.

"Why did you tell her?" Taylynn hissed, doing the same.

He sighed. This? This was why she was angry with him? Now he better understood her pleading look when she'd left the room earlier.

"I don't see the problem. And forgive me, but...did you listen at the door?"

"Of course I did," she huffed.

He crossed his arms. He wanted to be irritated—he did. But Taylynn's anger was so welcome, so satisfying, that he was too entertained to be upset. "That's rather rude, don't you think? I thought Sprite princesses were supposed to be prim and proper. Hmm?" She opened her mouth but said nothing, perhaps unsure of how to respond. "And anyway, Claire is my queen. My business is hers."

"Oh. Great." She tried to sound sarcastic, still keeping her voice low. "So if we were to...to..." It was unusual to see her tongue-tied.

He snorted. "No, Princess." He strode across the room until he was looking down at her, until their bodies were all but touching. She had to tilt her head back to see his face. He expected her to step away, but she stood her ground. "If we were to do anything, that would stay between us. Mostly," he added, offering her a wicked grin. Her expression turned dumfounded. "Look, I merely sought advice, as you very well know, since you so kindly listened at the door."

"You should not have told her."

"Why? Because she'd make it harder? Because she'd minimize the barriers that stand between us? Is that what you're afraid of? You are, aren't you? Barriers are easy. They offer you an excuse to keep away from me. But if she smashes all the ones in my path, then the only obstacles left are the ones you yourself impose. No?"

She stepped away from him then. The prey drive in his chest was sending heat and desire licking through his muscles. He took a step forward in chase, reclaiming the distance. She'd better not flee now. His dragon wouldn't allow it. "Taylynn..."

"No."

"Taylynn..." he said again, gentler this time, even if there was a rough, draconic edge to his voice. "We both hate each other, don't we? Even if we are not enemies. Not truly."

"No," she said again.

"Why are you here, Taylynn? Why are you in my room. To scold me?"

Instead of answering, she tried to step around him. He anticipated this and moved to block her. He didn't touch her—wouldn't touch her. Not in his room without her permission, but he wasn't going to let her leave so easily. Not just yet.

"Stand down, Drengr."

"You came to my room, Taylynn. Not the other way around."

So they stood at impasse, staring at each other, each breathing harder from the frustration the other brought. And he knew in that moment, knew with absolute certainty, that he wanted to claim her. That she was indeed his mate. She'd all but confirmed it; he didn't doubt that she knew. How she knew? That was a question he'd like answered.

He also didn't doubt the inexplicable way he felt about her. Feelings that could only be explained by the existence of something deep and primal between them. He wanted to hate it, and yet, sparring with her felt too good. It made him feel alive and unruly and...eager. Too eager.

He clenched his fists at his sides, trying to douse the fire coursing through his veins and pooling in the pit of his stomach. Fire she was responsible for. Taylynn glanced down at the movement in his pants and looked back up at him, lifting a knowing eyebrow. Damn. He abruptly stepped aside. That alone had lost him this game. And yet, she didn't leave. Instead, she turned to him.

Now it was her turn to strike. And strike she did. He stood motionless as she lifted a hand and brushed her fingers along his jaw, a smirk on her pretty little face. Every place her skin touched his, heat followed. She stopped at his chin before dropping her hand. He clenched his teeth together. "You are rather handsome, aren't you?"

He opened his mouth to respond but she was already striding across the room. He quickly adjusted his pants while her back was to him. When she reached the door, she hesitated. "I do enjoy fighting with you, Koldis. You are a...worthy opponent." Then she was through the door and he was left blinking at it, wondering if that had just happened or he'd merely imagined the entire thing.  

⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️

Hello Bookdragons!

And there you have it! Two chapters in one weekend. This one was long. I considered splitting it but decided to leave it. Almost 5,000 words. Yikes. But it was one of the chapters I've most enjoyed writing during this book. 

If I know you well enough, and I'd like to think I do. After all, many of us have been together on this journey a long long time, then I can imagine that you were probably squealing during this chapter. Don't worry...me too. ;)

Next week's chapter is titled "Returning to Esterpine," and will follow Claire's POV. 

I hope you have a great week. See you next friday!

-Mel