Kastali Dun

Saffra laughed, the full-bodied sound of it rolling off her chest. It was the first time in days, weeks even, that she'd felt so light. Watching Desaree struggle with a bow in hand, trying to follow a string of directions. Jocelyn's eyes danced too, but she held herself together better. It was clear that Desaree didn't mind their reaction to her half-hearted attempts at archery.

They stood in the practice grounds, soaking up the afternoon sun. It was the warmest part of the day, and still a late autumn chill tinged the air. Two weeks had passed with Claire's absence. They felt it acutely, but managed to keep busy. Archery lessons, for one. It was a great way to get out of the keep for fresh air. And with Lady Tamara's arrival several days past, the new addition to their little group sometimes joined them.

"Perhaps you ought to help her again with her form," Jocelyn suggested, voice thick with mirth. "Desaree, let Saffra help you again."

Saffra calmed her laughter, did her best to put on a straight face, and stepped in. She pulled Desaree's bow arm up and into position—

"Forgive me, ladies. I hope I am not intruding."

Time seemed to stop for Saffra. She was afraid to breathe, to turn at the sound of that voice. Her emotions changed in an instant, from happiness to apprehension. She knew exactly who stood behind her.

"Lady Saffra, I had hoped to say hello."

She turned then, almost shaking. Her hands clenched into fists. "Commander Daxton. How...how are you?" She barely held her voice together.

Daxton could have picked any time to speak with her, but he'd interrupted while she had companions. The decision was not lost on her. Was he such a coward that he could not face her alone? "I am...as well as can be expected, my lady. But tell me...are you...are you well?"

Her heart hammered. This man, this man she'd loved for years, was finally asking about her wellbeing. It was the first words he'd spoken to her since he'd admitted to remembering nothing of her. Desaree and Jocelyn suddenly seemed very busy with Desaree's bow, stepping away to give them a measure of privacy.

"I am managing, Commander. Thank you."

He nodded, clasping his hands behind his back. His muscular body wasn't what it once was. Time spent abed healing from the Vodar poison had given him a leaner appearance. But he was still familiar. Still loved.

Daxton was quiet a moment, then—"I wished to apologize."

She scowled. "For what?"

"For all that has happened. I..." He shifted his weight. "I feel responsible for whatever hurt I have caused you. I understand that it was, perhaps, out of my control, but I know that I have caused hurt and that...upsets me."

"You really cannot remember? None of it?"

His brows pulled together. "I remember Marcel hiring me to be your archery tutor long years past," he offered. "I remember going away to fight with our armies in the Gobelin War. I remember..." He unclasped his hands to rub the back of his neck. "That's really about it, truly. I do not remember returning. Or being promoted to commander. I certainly do not remember..."

"Our betrothal," she finished for him. She studied his pinched expression, had seen it before and knew it intimately. He was genuinely uncomfortable. But she had to ask, "You truly feel nothing for me now? As if...as if there was never anything between us?"

He opened his mouth then frowned. "Forgive me, Lady Saffra. I am...sorry."

Heat erupted across her skin. It blindsided her, the anger. The fury. After all this time, waiting for him. And for what? To be told that everything between them had never existed? It was all just a dream?

She slapped him. Hard. Right across the cheek. The sound split the air, rising above the clamor of sparring around the field. Daxton's eyes widened. He took a step back, placing a hand over his cheek. Behind her, Desaree and Jocelyn gasped, stepping up beside her, to defend her, if necessary. Never was she gladder to have such fierce friends.

"Forgive me, Lady Saffra," Daxton said again. "Forgive me." He bowed and spun away, leaving her to stare at his back. She trembled, hardly noticing when Jocelyn took hold of her arm, comforting her.

Her narrowed gaze followed Daxton across the sparring grounds. She noticed Bedelth then, standing with arms crossed over his broad chest. Watching. She could just make out his flashing eyes. His face held storm clouds, but the expression wasn't directed at her. It was focused entirely on Daxton's retreating fixture.

"Come, my lady," Jocelyn urged. "Let us go inside. I think a nice cup of tea will help." She said nothing, allowing her handmaiden to lead her away, heartbroken, and fully unable to process what had just happened.

***

The following day, Desaree and Jocelyn made a declaration. The only way to improve Saffra's stormy mood was through shopping. "Let's spend a frivolous amount of money and charge it all to the king's account!" Desaree said, gleefully. It was unlike her to be so...rebellious.

But the suggestion did bring a smile to Saffra's lips. "I have enough money of my own to engage in frivolous spending, Des. But I appreciate the offer." So she agreed, though her heart didn't feel like seeking happiness. But they had promised Lady Tamara a tour of Kastali Dun's famed market.

This was how she found herself arm in arm with the other three women, walking in a procession through the city. King Talon had sent a cluster of guards, as was no surprise to any of them. He'd never expressed such concern in the past. Never. But now that they were Claire's dearest friends, things had changed. Perhaps the king had become a little too protective. But they would be safer this way.

The world slipped by around her, entire buildings and streets, without much realization. She walked with one foot in reality and the other buried deep within her mind. She heard the happy chatter between Desaree and Lady Tamara, heard their discussions about each of the shops they passed. But only with a mild awareness.

Everything was a blur.

Was Daxton telling the truth yesterday? Did he truly remember nothing? Years of a carefully constructed romance between them. And...nothing? Why had he bothered to speak with her, if only to cause her further upset? Was it because he knew she was holding out hope for him? Hope that his mind would return? Surely there was still that possibility. But maybe he didn't care anymore. Maybe he was no longer interested in holding her affection.

Fresh anger coursed through her at the thought. At the idea of him giving up so easily. That was not the man she thought him to be. She hadn't meant to strike him. Hadn't meant to make a scene. But...he had deserved it. Moreover, it felt so damn good!

Her cheeks heated. She felt a measure of shame for losing control. It was...untoward for someone of her elevated status. She was an example for the king's people. She was the king's prophetess, for the love of gods. How many had noticed? Surely Bedelth had witnessed her childishness—

"Saffra? Are you with us?" Jocelyn nudged her. They had already arrived at the market.

"What? Oh." She eyed the coin purse Jocelyn was handling.

"I said, isn't this craftsmanship exquisite?" The woman at the booth muttered her thanks, shyness tinging her voice.

"Oh...Yes. It's beautiful," Saffra found herself saying. "How...how much?"

The woman gave a price, but she barely heard. She had the presence of mind to nod at Jocelyn, approving the purchase. Jocelyn quickly exchanged coins and they were on to the next.

They moved from booth to booth. With winter all but upon them, gloves and scarves were a popular item today. They also lingered over the jewelry stalls. Desaree wanted a new hairnet and pair of matching earrings. Jocelyn wanted a new bracelet. Lady Tamara found a pair of cuff links that would look divine on Byron's tunic sleeves.

It was a blur. Saffra did her best to keep her mind from wandering. But it was a genuine challenge. She was relieved when the hours passed and they finally made their way back to the castle. Relieved that she could be alone to wallow.

"We will leave you to rest," Jocelyn said, seeing her to her room. "Shall we return to escort you to dinner?"

She hesitated. The thought of taking her meal in the great hall before the nobles twisted her insides. "No, that won't be necessary. I will ring for dinner when I'm hungry."

Jocelyn opened her mouth, then nodded. "Very well, my lady."

At long last, she found herself alone. It left her feeling overly guilty, allowing her bad mood to seep into everything. She knew she wasn't the best company, that her friends worried for her, but what was she to do? How long did it take one to recover from a broken heart? From the melancholy of loss?

She tried to read out on her balcony, but it was no use. Perhaps a nap? But that didn't work either. So she worked on a puzzle. But that only gave her mind more time to think of what might never be. She was so angry at herself, at Daxton, at the world, that she screamed and swept the puzzle off the table where the pieces scattered across the floor.

A knock sounded.

Her heart stopped. She blinked. The anger dissipated, popping like a bubble. She looked between the door and the scattered puzzle pieces. If she stayed silent, no one would know she was here. It wasn't Jocelyn—she knew that much. Jocelyn would have simply swept into the room without waiting.

But the knock came again— "Lady Saffra, I'm coming in." The door opened before she had time to insist otherwise.

Bedelth stood there, looking at her. His expression changed, eyes softening. He shut the door and strode into the room, stopping short when his foot landed on a puzzle piece. "What...?" He looked around and saw her mess. "Lady Saffra..."

She said nothing. Couldn't think of anything but her embarrassment.

Bedelth didn't wait for her to speak. Instead, he got on his hands and knees and began sweeping pieces up. She stood motionless, watching King Talon's Shield reduced to clean-up duty. His broad shoulders were hunched as he moved.

She tried to work her mouth, to speak, but nothing came out.

When he stood at last, dumping the pieces into the small box on the table, he said, "I have dinner coming. I would like you to eat with me."

She opened her mouth—

"Before you protest, I ordered one of your favorites. A toasted cheese sandwich and tomato soup. Oh, and peach cobbler. The cooks made it especially for you. You would not refuse their efforts, would you?"

The air whooshed out of her chest. She all but fell into a chair. Bedelth pulled out the one beside hers, leaning back to regard her. "I heard your ladies talking of the wonderful afternoon they had at the market today. Did you buy anything?"

Her annoyance evaporated, replaced by immense relief. He wasn't going to jump straight to questioning her about what had happened yesterday with Dax. Even if he had seen much of it.

"A coin purse?" She opened and closed her hands. "A scarf. A pair of gloves. A hairnet...I think?"

Bedelth smiled. "You think? Gods, woman. Sounds like Jocelyn could have spent your entire savings and you wouldn't have noticed."

"Can you blame me?" A smile pulled at the corners of her lips, but she wouldn't give it to him.

"No. Hardly. But I'm glad you went with them. Lady Tamara needed the excursion."

Had she? Saffra had been so wrapped up that she hadn't considered what the excursion might mean to the young fort leader.

"Plans have been tedious," Bedelth said by way of explanation. "I feel for the poor girl, still so young, but thrust into the arms of responsibility. It's a wonder she hasn't crumbled under the pressure."

"Claire spoke highly of her," Saffra mused.

"I can see why. The two were nearly inseparable during our time in Brezen."

Saffra's chest tightened. "I miss her."

"We all do, Saffa." Bedelth fiddled with a lone puzzle piece that hadn't made it back into the box. "You should see King Talon. His moods have darkened. He snaps at everyone's ideas."

"I take it battle preparations aren't going well?"

No one expected her to attend, but she had been present for a few of the war council sessions. She understood how trying they were. How exhausting. Which was partly why she avoided them when she could.

"It's hard to make progress when we're cornered—"

A knock cut him off. The call of food. She made to stand but Bedelth beat her to it. "Stay. I'll get it."

She glanced at the table, quickly shuffling away the rest of the the puzzle, setting the box on the floor. Bedelth returned with a large tray. She smelled the toasted cheese sandwiches before he set the tray before her. There was enough for two. He began separating the food. She watched him in silence, suddenly grateful for his steady presence.

Bedelth was attentive to the task at hand as he placed the food, the glasses of water, the dessert. She took the first bite, dunking the corner of her sandwich into the tomato soup. It was heaven on her tongue. She almost groaned.

They ate in companionable silence for several minutes until Bedelth said, "I can get wine, if you'd prefer."

She considered, swallowing. "I've probably had enough to drink for a lifetime. Water is fine." She was well aware that she'd spent plenty of evenings alone, drinking several glasses to pull her mind from its thoughts. But if Daxton had no plans to fix things between them....

All those things Bedelth had said, about Dax being a human. About Dax aging when she wouldn't for years to come. There were so many counts against them. It would have been one thing if their love rang true. If they had something to fight for. But she saw the look in Daxton's eyes. The regret. There was no passion there. None whatsoever. It was all the answer she needed. It was time to move on. She was done waiting for him.

⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️

Happy Friday Bookdragons!

It's been far too long since we've had a chapter from our lovely prophetess! This one wasn't necessarily forwarding the main plot, but it was needed, I think. Saffra has been struggling for quite a while, since the middle-end of book two. I think it's time for her to start living again!

Next week's chapter is titled "A Pledge for Support" and the POV is from our favorite king! And as hinted, yes, we will get to see the letter from Claire as Talon reads it. 

A quick update on Verath the Red. It officially publishes Tuesday Sept 7th!!!! **cue celebration dance music** It will be available for purchase at places like Amazon or can be ordered from Barnes and Noble. For those who ordered through my website to get preorder incentives, I've got some good news! The hardcovers officially shipped from the publisher (to me) yesterday and are planned to arrive to me tomorrow(Saturday) if all goes well. I'll be getting them signed and boxed up this weekend, and since Monday is a holiday in the US, I can't take them to the post until Tuesday. But the priority mail shipping means they will begin reaching you Thursday/Friday of this upcoming week. Paperbacks are still printing, and i'm checking their status DAILY. As soon as they arrive, I'll be packaging them up and sending them off to their new homes.

For those who can't afford paperbacks or hardcovers, the ebook is priced at $3.99 and available through all major ebook retailers. And if you can't afford that option but still want to support me, leaving a book review is always a great way to do that! You can head over to Goodreads and leave your review for any of my books, or Verath the Red here: 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58823796-verath-the-red

Thanks and have a great weekend! 

-Mel