The darkness surrounded me like a comforting blanket. I floated in the abyss for a while, content with the thought of just simply existing and not doing or feeling anything. I felt at peace. But that peace quickly turned into discomfort. The darkness prickled at my skin, making me uncomfortably aware that I wanted to escape.

I urged myself to wake up, trying to open my eyes but they wouldn't obey. I couldn't break free of the void around me. Snatches of vague dreams and pictures spiraled around me as I watched helplessly, chained to the subconscious of my mind.

Time seemed to drag on and I started becoming even more restless. It felt like an eternity before I felt like I was in control of the darkness, and slowly, I opened my eyes.

The first thing I was aware of besides the bright whiteness of the room was how numb and cold my arm felt. I felt the icy, strange pulse of medicine being entered into my bloodstream from the IV drip that was in my non-dominant arm.

My ears started to ring and I blinked a few times to try and focus on my surroundings. I was in a hospital room. I mean. . . where else would I be that had a white tiled ceiling and an IV drip?

"(F/n), how are you?" I turned to see my mom sitting in a chair. Her voice was gentle and soft, but I could hear the worry in it.

I smiled weakly at her, my head still thick and fuzzy and licked my dry lips. "I'm fine. What. . . What happened?"

"You had an allergic reaction at school." She reminded me.

I just nodded numbly, still disoriented and tired. I sort of remembered what happened. It was like a vague dream swimming in my head.

"Here, drink some water," my mom said, twisting open the cap of a bottle of water and offering it for me to take.

I nodded again and sat up to take the bottle from her with my free hand, drinking it down thirstily. I didn't realize how badly I needed a drink until I stopped and saw that I had downed nearly half the bottle. I passed it back to her and slumped back down on the pillow. My body was sore and stiff from how long I was knocked out for.

Just as I was about to close my eyes again to try and fall back to sleep, the door opened roughly and banged against the wall, making me flinch. My mom turned sharply to the noise, surprise and anger flashing on her face.

In the doorway stood Murasakibara, though his head was ducked down and his shoulders were hunched so that he wouldn't hit his head against the top of the doorframe. Despite my bewilderment, I found the sight quite comical. Murasakibara walked into the room.

"(L/n)-chin, are you okay?" He asked, the slightest hint of worry in his voice.

"Who's this?" My mom asked, looking back at me. She seemed slightly intimidated by Murasakibara's presence. I didn't blame her. It wasn't every day that you saw a 6'10 foot tall high schooler with purple hair.

"That's um. . . That's Atsushi." I told her as I sat up again. "He's my. . ." I didn't really know what to say. At any other moment, I would've said he was my friend in a heartbeat. But these past few days, and especially now, I didn't know. I settled on saying, "He's my classmate."

Murasakibara flinched when the word came out of my mouth. It was slight, like a small twitch or shiver, but I saw the way he winced and looked away, his lips pursed, and I tried to ignore it.

"I want to talk to (L/n)-chin," he said, looking at my mom challengingly as if daring her to argue with him.

My mom looked over at me, a small glimmer of anxiety in her eyes. Obviously I knew how she was feeling. It was the same every time I was in the hospital. But even though I wasn't sure how I should feel about Murasakibara right now, I decided to give him a chance.

I smiled at my mom, hoping to reassure her. "Mom, do you mind stepping out for a few minutes? I'll be fine with Atsushi."

She looked reluctant, but after a few moments of hesitation, she nodded slowly. "I'll come back in ten minutes. There's the button to call the nurses if you need anything." She pointed at the headboard where there was a small remote with a single red button on it attached to a wire going through the wall.

"Okay," I said.

She stood up, getting her purse and gave Murasakibara a wary glance before she walked out of the room.

"(L/n)-chin, are you better now?" Murasakibara ambled over to the side of my bed as soon as the door shut behind my mom. He plopped himself down in the chair my mom had vacated, his eyes never leaving me.

I just nodded. "I'm fine Atsushi. My head hurts a little though."

"I thought you died." He frowned.

"Clearly I didn't," I said wryly, gesturing to myself with my other hand; the one that didn't have an IV stabbed into it.

I wasn't sure how to address the issue of what happened earlier. I didn't even expect to see Murasakibara so soon.

"Look, Atsushi. . ." I started slowly, still trying to think about what to say. "You could've really killed me. That's how serious my nut allergy is."

He stayed silent, looking down guiltily, and it was only then did I see that his eyes were watery with unshed tears. My stomach tightened, feeling guilty that I was probably being too harsh on him.

"Atsushi?" I said his name gently, hoping that he'd look at me again.

Meekly, he slipped his hand into his pocket to retrieve something and set it gently in my lap. Curiously, I picked it up with my free hand. It was slightly squashed, but I realized that it was a brownie. There was a symbol on the corner of the wrapper, and in bold red letters underneath, very clearly said 'NUT FREE.'

I couldn't help but smile, touched at the gesture. Murasakibara was shifting in his seat, looking away with a small pout on his face. He was rubbing his eyes stubbornly, trying to get rid of the tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he mumbled so quietly, I almost didn't hear him.

"T-thanks," I said, putting the brownie on the small table next to my bed.

There was an awkward silence between us for a few moments before he stood up. I realized that he was about to leave and I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.

"I'll. . . I'll see you back at school," I said, trying to hide my disappointment.

He reached out towards my head, probably about to give me a head pat, but his hand wavered and he snatched it back quickly, instead nodding sullenly. I looked at him in confusion but he just turned and walked out.

I was released from the hospital after a few hours and rested at home for the rest of the day. Luckily the doctor allowed me to go to school the next day instead of taking the day off.

I still wasn't sure if I wanted to keep being friends with Murasakibara. Was I better off without him? Was he better off without me?

Plagued with my indecisive thoughts, I just sighed and decided to head to my classroom, even though class wasn't starting for a while. I started walking in the direction of my classroom when I heard a familiar voice nearby.

". . . are an idiot sometimes." It was Himuro Tatsuya, Murasakibara's second year friend. They were both walking ahead of me, too wrapped up in their conversation to notice me a couple feet behind them. I wasn't ready to talk to Murasakibara just yet, so I started walking slower so I wouldn't get too close, but still close enough that I could hear them. I just wanted to know if he was alright.

"Eh?" Murasakibara pouted in response. "That's mean, Muro-chin."

I heard Himuro sigh. "It's the truth though," he said, sounding slightly exasperated. "You put (L/n) and her family through a lot."

My eyes widened in surprise at the mention of my name. They were talking about me? I narrowed my eyes in concentration, focusing on listening to what they were saying.

"You need to decide, Atsushi," Himuro continued. "If it's more important to have those Cracker Nuts or to keep (L/n) as a friend."

"(L/n)-chin won't stop being friends with me. She can't." Murasakibara insisted.

"She can if she wants to," Himuro replied calmly. "And she can't hang out with you if you keep eating those nuts. Do you want her in the hospital again?"

Murasakibara was quiet for a while before he answered. "No. . ."

"Then?" Himuro prompted him.

Murasakibara let out a huff. "I'm going to buy snacks." I watched him stomp away.

I waited for Himuro to walk ahead and then hurried off to my class once he was gone. My best friend hugged me tightly when he/she saw me, asking me if I was okay and threatening to kill Murasakibara again, to which I had to explain that murdering a classmate was not the smartest idea. We both settled down in our seats after talking, getting our things ready for class.

Murasakibara trudged in a minute before the bell was going to ring for our first period, but he wasn't holding any snacks like he said he was going to get. His eyes flickered over to me for a moment but he kept his head lowered and shuffled to his desk and sat down without saying anything, resting his head in his arms on the desk.

I looked over at him in concern and opened my mouth to ask him if he was okay, but the bell rang and our teacher walked in. Reluctantly, I turned away from him and faced forward to focus on the teacher.

All throughout the lesson, I was distracted. I kept darting glances at Murasakibara, who didn't seem like he was paying the slightest bit of attention to the teacher either. As I absentmindedly copied down my notes, I mulled over my predicament.

One part of me wanted to keep some distance from Murasakibara, in case he put me in danger again. But the other, stronger part of me said that he deserved a second chance.. And that was what I was going to listen to. I just hoped that it was the right choice.

Our four classes took forever to go by, but once we were finally dismissed for lunch, I turned to Murasakibara.

"Hey Atsushi," I said, grabbing his attention.

He raised his head, looking at me questioningly. "What is it (L/n)-chin?" His voice sounded subdued. He really must have been taking what Himuro said to heart.

"(F/n), let's go eat on the rooftop," my best friend butted in before I could reply to Murasakibara.

"It's okay," I replied. "I'll be fine with Atsushi."

"Yeah, well last time you said you'd be fine you nearly died," he/she retorted back, but I could tell that was just his/her way of being concerned about me. He/she rested his/her elbows on the side of my desk and hissed in my ear. "I don't trust you with him."

I tried my best to stop myself from sighing in irritation. "I trust him," I whispered back fiercely.

(Best friend's name) groaned in annoyance and I glared at him/her defiantly.

"You're so stubborn," he/she muttered angrily before straightening up and adjusting their bag's shoulder strap. "I'll see you later."

I settled back in my seat after he/she left and leaned against the back of my chair, relaxing my shoulders. I noticed Murasakibara looking at me but as soon as I made eye contact with him, he looked away and buried his head back in his arms again.

Now. . . how to fix this? An idea popped in my head and I rummaged through my school bag and found my favourite snack, completely nut free of course. I tapped Murasakibara's shoulder and he turned his head toward me.

"Atsushi, want some?" I asked, offering it to him since he hadn't eaten any yet, and it didn't seem like he would be eating any anytime soon.

His eyes lit up when he saw the snack. He darted a quick glance to me before he snatched it from my hand and ate it quickly, as if someone was going to steal it from him. He was quiet for a few moments, not quite meeting my eye until he spoke up in a low voice. "Will (L/n)-chin stop being friends with me?"

I looked at him in surprise. Was he really afraid that I'd stop being friends with him? In that moment, any lingering doubts I had disappeared as a fierce wave of compassion crashed over me. Murasakibara was definitely my friend. Even if I had been annoyed or irritated at him for what he did the past few days, it didn't change the fact that deep down, I still cared about him. And I knew that he learned his lesson.

"Atsushi, can I have your hand?" I asked kindly.

His face furrowed in confusion but he lifted his hand up and reached it out to me. I took his wrist and tugged his hand closer, placing it on my head. He was able to reach without moving because of his long arms. His eyes widened in surprise while I just smiled at him. Slowly, he started to ruffle my hair, giving me a lazy smile. "(L/n)-chin's head is so small. I can crush it."

"It's not my fault you have giant hands." I scoffed, rolling my eyes playfully in mock offense.

"How is it possible for you to be so small?" Murasakibara asked, now trying to see if he could put all of his fingers around my head; he could, quite easily.

"How is it possible for you to be a titan?" I shot back, smiling.

We spent the rest of lunch jokingly insulting each other and laughing while eating snacks together. And not for one moment did I regret keeping him as my friend.