...

...

I shouldn't have left Asher's house so quickly, and should have spared more time waiting. Maybe, I could just travel around the neighborhood for a bit before leaving. Had I been more patient, I wouldn't have to come across my father in front of the block, and wouldn't have to go back to the place I had dreaded the most. However, since I was a brainless idiot, here I was, lying on the passenger seat of my father's car, buckled up with the seatbelt.

I refused to interact further with him, so I leaned to the side of the door and closed my eye, pretending I was asleep. The silence hanging between the both of us was so heavy, that it my heart could feel the weight on top of it. Regardless, I could hear faint noises from the radio, playing some random music I didn't bother listening, and sounds of the car as it zoomed through the quiet streets.

"Christopher... would you like to eat anything?" For the first time since he got me into the car, Father finally said something. Well, more like a question that I would not rather answer, but my instincts made me shake my head in response. I was too tired to think straight now, so I didn't even care if I was answering him or not.

"Aren't you hungry?" I could feel the car made a sharp turn to the left, bringing my body along.

"No." I grumbled in a low voice.

"You haven't eaten anything since you went out of the house, haven't you?" He asked further, letting out a deep sigh. "Your mother told me that you skipped both breakfast and lunch altogether. What's worse, you even haven't had your dinner yet. If you don't eat anything, Ed, you're gonna be sick again."

"I had eaten some pizza, Father. I'm fine now." I grunted. I almost rolled my eye, but thanks to a sudden flashback that served as a warning, I prevented myself from doing so. Had I lost control over my stupid response, he would have slapped the shit out of me again.

Huh, that explained why I devoured every single slice of pizza that Asher had given me, despite how soggy and hard they were. It turned out that I haven't touched any food since I woke up this morning. I had ditched breakfast to see Raphael and let him to put an end to my life, and ditched lunch to... simply rot away.

Sadly, all of my plans all ended up failing. If I gave up today, the suffering will eventually multiply, and I will end up getting crushed. I have to find alternative ways as quickly as possible before I completely turned catatonic.

Whoever is trying to interfere with my plans... stop it, please.

"Pizza isn't going to make you full. Sure it does for now, but you'll be hungry later." Father continued protesting, while he braked at a red light. "Besides... how did you get the pizza? I mean, you abruptly left the house and left your wallet in your room, so I assume you had no money with you... which brings me to the next question: how did you manage to end up in Northbrook...?"

I was on the verge of telling him to quit with all of the interrogation. He was really asking me too much questions, which I should be expecting, but judging from what I had been doing, he should know that I was really tired to answer all of his question. It was to the point where I, once again, almost break the most important rule while being around Father.

While he had been staring down the road, his icy eyes sometimes peered at me, demanding for answers. Silence won't be an excellent response in this situation, so there was no choice but to say out something.

"...I met up with a friend while walking, and he offered me to go home with him." My voice was barely audible if I didn't force myself to speak louder. I have to keep this as simple and straight as possible then avoided "He happens to live in Northbrook, so that's why I was there. Also, he gave me some pizza to eat, so I'm fine."

"... Well if so, why are you wandering around the block instead of staying in his house for the night?" For this particular question, I produced no response. I continued staring outside of the window, seeing that buildings gradually came into view, signalling me that I had arrived back at the town.

"...You can't just sleep on the streets, Christopher." The suspense eventually caught up with Father, which drove him to speak out the exact, same advise Asher also gave. "It's cold and dangerous out there, and the weather has been harsh lately."

"I could just find somewhere safe." I mumbled inaudibly, shutting my eye. I felt the car slowed down, then shook gently as its wheels went through a speed bump. Something then hit me as soon as I realized what I had been subconsciously saying, like some sort of an epiphany. If I explained further, I will be spilling too much information, and that would just worsen Father's questioning. It was the best if I zipped my mouth shut and not to say more.

The luckiest moment was that he had yet to notice my slightly moist clothes. He had hugged me and should have felt how wet they were, but... he hasn't even had a suspicion. I was relieved at how dense he was, or else he would already figure out that... I had been trying to sleep on the streets, during the rain.

"Whatever the problem it is, you're not homeless, Christopher. You have a home... you always do, even if you still think otherwise." Father whispered under his breath. "Like I said, I'll never actually want to disown you."

Then explain to me... why did I think otherwise...? I fluttered open my eye and looked at him. Isn't a home supposed to be the place where you feel comfortable, safe and loved?

No matter how small and big, how clean or dirty, how poor or rich, for me, a home should have at least these traits, and now... I could say... I still didn't have a home. Funny how I have everything people wanted, but I wasn't still able to appreciate what I had gotten.

There was nothing I needed but putting both my and pain and suffering to an end, and that was it.

My thoughts were interrupted by a blaring noise of a phone. It wasn't mine as it was turned off, so I remained on my spot while Father shifted through his pockets to pull out his, and answered the incoming call.

"Hello, honey..." He began, his eyes locked on the road. "Yeah... yeah... He was just around Northbrook... You don't know? It's on the northernmost side of the town... Yeah... yeah... his friend found him and took him home. I found him as soon as he leave... Hmm... well, I don't know who, I don't see him... I'm going to ask Christopher soon."

Huh, of course the caller was Mother herself. As expected of her, since she had been the one spamming my phone the most, with calls and texts I didn't bother checking. I really hoped she didn't bother me as much when I arrived, and let Father explained everything instead.

"He's good for now... No, he had eaten pizza, so I don't think he wants to eat anymore." He continued. "I did, but he keeps telling me he's fine... Okay... don't worry, we will be home in just a few minutes... alright, love you too."

In a few minutes...? That means...

While he clicked his phone shut, I scanned around the area, searching for any familiar structures. A small, recognizable apartment was nearby, and brightly illuminated by the balcony lights. The building itself was a clear sign that we were just a few meters away from the house I was forced to call home. Seeing that we were here, I leaned to the back of my seat, unbuckling my seatbelt as quickly as possible.

Finally back... huh... I have to get myself ready to avoid everyone inside. I should focus on only getting to my bedroom, locking the damn door and simply going to sleep. Also, I should not make a single eye contact with anyone, showing them that I'm not in the mood for talking and discussion. Well... at least... this is the place where I had my own space and can lock myself out of everything.

"So Christopher, who's the friend that had helped you?" Obviously he would ask that. After all, he will be the one who have to tell everything to both Mother and Lu.

"Someone from the basketball team." I murmured.

"Aren't they the one who bullied you...?" He suddenly growled. That was when I saw Father's hands clenching tight on the steering wheel. He pulled his brows to the center of his forehead, while his icy eyes flashed with hatred. "You should be staying away, so why are you hanging out with them...?"

"It's not one of the seniors." I breathed out, shaking my head. "Just an acquaintance and a former teammate."

Finding out the truth, his shoulders gradually relaxed, although his expression still looked so stiff and untrusting. As the car stopped at the driveway of our house, he turned his head, facing directly at me.

"And here I'm thinking you'll be staying at Seb's house. I called his father asking whether you're there... and well, he said no, and Seb had been really busy with his work that sometimes, he don't want to come out of the room."

Seb, huh... Clearly he's going to be involved in this mess as well, even when he's still upset at me because of stupid things. I placed a hand on my face as Father turned off the car. Simultaneously, I got off, adjusting my hood so that it completely covered my head. If I have not been found, my parents are just going to tell everyone in town, and make everything worse...

"Let's get inside." He said, and I just nodded.

I slipped both of my hands into my pockets, before trailing behind Father as he went through the gates and then opened the door.

I heard some muffled whispers and rustles coming from inside the house, then rapid footsteps as Mother and Lu appeared from behind the walls. I promptly lowered my head, allowing my bangs to do the job of covering my sight, so I couldn't look at them, and they couldn't look at me in the eye.

"Ed!"

I didn't care whose voice was that, they belonged to either Mother or Lu. Even if I didn't directly see them, I could see they were all rushing after me.

Now.

Without any more thoughts, I instantly bolted for it. It was a pretty fast pace, as my legs were literally taking long strides, moving through the hallway. Beforehand, something soft brushed against my shoulders, probably it was both Mother and Lu, but I didn't bother glancing.

Their calls for me didn't stop me from rushing up the stairs. I didn't know whether they followed me or not but I always thought they did, that was why I was walking so fast and heading for my room. Once I was in front of it, I immediately opened the door, went inside and shut it with my back. I locked it shut, and after a few seconds of regaining my composure, I peeked.

It's still the same room that I had been living for years... so what's the point of checking it?

I was about to let out a breath of relief until I noticed two small, blurry figures casually sitting on the bed. Their gazes bored straight through my skull, with grin etched across their faces. I forced out a gasp as my eye opened wide, pressing my body against the door.

"Look who's back." It drawled, feigning a surprised expression that screamed mockery. "The pathetic crybaby everyone's so pitiful about."

"You said you wanted to abandon your house and family." The other joined in, chuckling. "What made you change your mind?"

"Get the hell off my bed." I commanded as I bared my teeth. I was no longer concerned whether they were real or just a product of my hallucinations making some snark remarks. All I wanted to do now was to rest, not to encounter some stupid kids, let alone two dopplegangers of my younger self, insulting the shit out of me.

"I thought you wanted to sleep on the streets and rot there until your last breath." It smirked, trying to ridicule me. "What's wrong, Edward, are you afraid of death?"

"Shut up, it's none of your business. I'm not in the mood to talk, so get the fuck off!" I snarled.

At the same time, the smiling kids jumped off, as if it was obeying my instructions in a jeering way. In a heartbeat, I strolled towards into the bed and hopped straight into it. Next, I snatched the blankets, unfolded it and covered my entire body. Despite so, I could still hear their childish laughter piercing through my eardrums.

"I want to die... I'm useless and being an obstacle to everyone... I want to disintegrate as soon as possible... I'm insane..." It tried to imitate my voice. "Isn't that what you're always trying to say? If you're insane and want to die so bad, then why are you still here? Why do you go back to this house? Why don't you just die already?"

"Yeah." The other kid agreed. "You thought about dying a lot of times, so why not do it right now?"

"Shut the hell up." I snapped beneath the covers.

"Why? You're the one who asked for it. We're just trying to follow what you wish."

"No, stop bothering me!" I raised my voice, while my body began to shake for no reason.

"Yes, you idiot." It persisted. I could feel its hands on the blanket, attempting to make a contact with my body. "You're crying like a little ass back on the streets, begging God to take your life."

"Go away." I barked.

"We will not go away until your wish is fulfilled."

"GET THE FU-"

I couldn't control myself any longer that I flipped the blankets open, and hauled myself up to confront these kids. However, the explosion inside of me suddenly ended when I realized I was... glaring at nothing. I immediately skimmed around the dark room, but there were no signs of them; just my table and closet, accompanied by some frigid air hitting my face. I blinked, once... and twice, but they had vanished completely.

Ugh... finally...

The next thing I knew, I was looking down at my hands, one of them still covered up in bandages. I didn't really observe them, but in a few seconds in, there was holding on the handle of a knife. On my left hand though, I was gripping on a... what seemed to be like a rope. It looked like I was gripping on it so hard since I could feel its fibres burning against my skin. Before I could react to what I was seeing, both the objects had disappeared in a split second.

Right after, my delayed reaction came into being, as I flinched and jumped back. At once, I withdrew both of my hands away, placing them out of sight. I burst into a series of hyperventilation, breathing in and out so fast, that both my throat and lungs actually began to tremble in pain. That was one of the reasons why I grabbed a handful of fabric near my chest and clutched on it.
Panting so hard, I could feel a cold sweat trickling down my cheek.

I shouldn't be asking what did I just see... because... that's what the truth is.

It always comes in a very unexpected way...

It always does...

...and that's probably why I don't want to confront it myself...

***

A/N: Oo, what is Ed actually hallucinating on the last part? The answer will be hinted by next chapters, and soon, it will all be clear. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as always, and don't forget to leave a vote and some comments :)

Sorry if this chapter was quite short, but it will soon be longer again :)

That's all for this chapter, and I'll see you all next week!

- Tara