chapter fifteen, no time to die

THE EERIE ATMOSPHERE made the escaping group of people feel defeated for a split second. The Fjerdan soldiers, hooded, dressed in dark colours and silver, pointed their guns at them while the shrilling bells of Black Protocol announced their doom. There was nowhere to run, there was nowhere to hide as the Ash Tree, surrounded by the maze seemed to capture them once and for all.

Matthias felt immense fear choke him as he was holding the wailing body of a new Grisha, his friend. Watching in the eye of his previous comrades who now were pointing their guns at him, looking at him as if he was a traitor made him feel uneasy. Being on the other side of the war felt strange, holding Lavender felt strange – he felt like a traitor, and he felt as if all of his life was a lie.

"If this isn't Matthias Helvar," one of the soldiers in the back murmured, pushing down his hood while watching them all with a glint of evilness in his eyes.

Lavender squirmed in Matthias' arms from hearing the familiar voice and she slightly pushed his hand, letting him know that he should put her down. Once her bare feet touched the cold marble stone of the courtyard, not far from the Ash Tree, she felt as if she was going to fall, so she clung to Matthias' hand as she turned her head to the side, noticing figures moving in the shadows.

They were surrounded.

Matthias didn't have a chance to say anything as Nina raised her hands to drop the soldier's pulse, but a loop of cable struck her, binding her legs and arms together, keeping them still, so she wouldn't do anything. Others grabbed Aleksej and brought him down to his knees as they put a rifle behind the Shu scientist.

The Fjerdan soldier stepped closer, a few soldiers surrounding him, guns pointed at the traitor. In the hands of the leading soldier was a whip, it was with a long handle and the ends were made from a thin leather, little loops attached to the end made from pure metal.

"Thought you were dead. Appears you are just a traitor," the soldier admitted, raising the whip. "Remember this? You helped to design it."

Within these words, he moved the whip towards the squirming Heartrender, hitting her with the sharp loops of the whip, making Matthias release a grunt of disapproval.

"Leave her be," Matthias grunted out, ready to risk it all for this group of criminals even when he was standing in such a sacred place.

The soldier motioned four other guys, with the black and silver uniform, to surround the Fjerdan giant and push him down on his knees, making another guy grasp Lavender away, pushing her towards the soldier with a whip.

The man caught the limp Grisha, grasping her neck from behind, making her look at him as she clearly was having difficulty breathing. A satisfied hum left his lips her cheeks was drenched with blood and other fluid that came from her eye. He didn't even need strength to hold her down as he passed the whip to a soldier beside him, pushing the hair away from her face with a smirk as she was still crying.

"This one is pretty or... at least she was," he publicly shamed her looks, shamed her wounds that were made by them, receiving a round of snickering from the Fjerdans that enjoyed nothing more but to watch a Grisha suffer like this.

Lavender didn't really understand what he was saying, the bits and pieces of her Fjerdan she knew wasn't enough, but he was shaming her and by the way he was looking at her, by the way all of them looked at her from the moment she was announced a Grisha, she knew that they loathed her with every inch of their body.

It was their mission to make her feel dreadful before they kill her.

"All of this to save her? Do you still pray to our God, Helvar?" The soldier asked, grasping the fragile neck of the woman and pushing it back, making her breathing become heavier.

As the man wanted to continue his litany before killing them all on the spot, a loud popping sound came from the tree. The old, ancestral wood started to move backwards, the roots curling up, breaking the concentration it was held with, revealing a dark abyss into their death. The wails of the soldiers from seeing it fall with loud, thunderous creaks were surrounding them all, their attentions falling from the traitors to the fall of their ancestral tree.

Lavender took the opportunity to strike her opponent to his stomach, but one of the hooded soldiers appeared behind him and soon enough, Lavender met the eyes of a soldier as he choked on his breath, blood oozing from his mouth. Before dropping to the floor, he released Lavender from his grip. The marble floor was trembling beneath them as the ground was falling into the darkness. The movement made her launch forward only for the murderer of the soldier to grab her.

Once the gloved hands caught her, her heart bubbled with relief. She didn't have the chance to share her happiness that it was him as the trembling ground was getting worse. Kaz simply pushed her forward Matthias as the soldiers turned their attention back on the people who were trying to escape.

Without asking questions, Kaz pushed the disk into the Shu's and the scrawny guy's mouth with force, nudging his head towards the abyss. They'll have to jump.

"Don't pop the disk until you reach the ground," Kaz instructed, his gravel voice matching this dangerous situation as he pushed a disk in Lavender's mouth as well.

Purely improvising, he wrapped his hand securely around Lavender's waist, alerting the soldiers with the rifles, wanting to jump before her whisper reached his ears in all of this madness: "Kaz."

"I know." I'm sorry.

The man lunged forward into the dangerous darkness, pulling the woman with him, leaving the blasts of bullets behind him as they all got swallowed by the abyss eventually. As soon as his body hit the icy water, his hammering heart spiked in fear as she started to move away from his grip. Fighting to keep her close, the fear kicked in and the coldness sent a shrilling pain through his brain, making him lose the grip of her and bite on the disk a little bit too early.

Frightened and consumed by the holy water of Djel, he realised that water does have a voice. Maybe it was Djel, maybe it was any of the Saints Inej believed in. It was the moment when the shrilling fear choked him and Jordie came back into his memory, urging him to come to him, to just let go and find his brother.

That's when the water spoke loud and clear – he has to keep fighting for her. Because he cannot lose her again.

𓄿

LAVENDER MANAGED to pull herself out of the water, gripping the snow that didn't even feel cold anymore as her body was drenched in cold water, the loose bandages were gone and whatever she was wearing was making her body feel slimy and painful. She managed to cough out some blood, mixed with mucus as a few particles of the disk left her mouth, leaving her with a very bitter, metallic taste.

Pushing herself up, she turned her head to the left, watching the way Nina and the scientist were pulling the unconscious body out of the river. Because of her panicked state, she managed to pull herself up and walk towards the unconscious body only to drop to her knees once she saw it was Kaz.

      No.

She can't lose him again.

His pale, sickly face was calm, almost unrecognisable to her as ever since she stepped into Ketterdam, he always had that displeased, cold expression on his face. Like this, even if the purplish and blue spots indicated that he was dying, he seemed like that Kaz she knew a long time ago.

In pure stress, she looked up at Nina, who was catching her breath herself, extending her hand to Kaz's neck, feeling that there was a faint pulse. The Heartrender nodded, far too weak to quicken his pulse, so Lavender braced herself for some work. Pressing her hands on his clothed chest, she started to push her palms down, creating rhythmical compressions. After thirty times of those, she opened his mouth, closing his nose and she pushed her lips against his, blowing some air.

The distant conversation of Nina completely left her mind as she kept pushing on his chest, tears falling without her permission as if her body was already preparing to lose him. However, as she was about to close his nose, his eyes opened widely, a cough escaping his mouth as he turned to the side, coughing out the water on the snow.

"Oh, Saints!" Nina exclaimed, clasping her hands in relief as no matter how much she wanted for the Dirtyhands to die from time to time, they wouldn't get away from this without him.

Lavender stumbled backwards, out of breath. The ache in her lungs was unbearable as she was shaking like a leaf. She knew well that cold weather was damaging her lungs and now she was soaked in cold water, kneeling on the snow, looking at the Ice Court that was further than she imagined, knowing that she is going to die.

"The others?" Kaz groggily asked, pushing himself up, noticing the Heartrender, the young-looking Shu scientist and Lavender.

When his eyes stopped on Lavender's slightly swaying figure, while her eyes were fluttering, trying to stay awake, he didn't wait to hear an answer as they clearly have separated. Alive or not, they had to stick to the plan and get to Djerholm, but now, he embraced himself and lunged forward in pure panic.

Grasping the red-haired woman in his arms, her back fell on his lap as she was wincing in pain. Chest rising heavily as loud, suffocating wails were leaving her mouth. At that moment, Jordie's voice disappeared. Without even thinking, he put his gloved hand on her cheek, fear gnawing at his chest without any remorse.

With the turn of her head, her hair moved back, revealing the wound on her eye. It was bleeding as some sort of yellowish liquid was oozing down her cheeks from the other eye she was crying. Her trembling, chapped lips were trying to say something, but nothing coherent left her mouth.

Kaz couldn't do this.

"Lavender," he exhaled her name, hearing a high-pitched sound in his ears as he started to breathe loudly. He didn't know what to do.

The moment of relief of finding her and getting out of this water alive was quickly drowned in the river. The fluttering of her eyelids only showed that she was fighting to stay awake. The voice of Nina didn't wake him from this fearful moment.

Kaz watched how his brother died. Kaz watched the way her house burnt. Kaz won't watch how she dies.

Wrapping his hands around her, receiving a disapproving groan, he lifted her up. His right leg was protesting against the additional weight, but he did not care. With a grunt, a determined look sat on his face as he turned around, completely ignoring Nina and the scientist. Just like that, he marched forwards, towards Djerholm.

Nina has never seen Kaz like this – in complete panic. That's why she urged Kuwei to follow them with her Shu and she quickly appeared in front of Kaz as she needed to know what the hell he was doing: "Where are you going?"

Sparing the woman a brief glance of disapproval, he kept on marching forwards even if he was slower than usual, his right leg was on the edge of breaking once again from all of the pressure. However, Nina stood right in front of him, blocking the way and he felt as if he will murder her right there.

"Nina," his tone was threatening, chest rising in panic as they were wasting time. They needed to get into Djerholm as soon as possible.

"Tell me what you are doing! We need to find the others!"

Pushing his head to the side, his neck popped and he answered: "We stick to the plan! If they are alive, you better hope that they are smart enough to get to the harbour," he almost spat out the words with pure rage, taking Nina back a few inches away from him. "We are gonna go to Djerholm, bandage her enough so she gets into the ship, because I'm not fucking losing her again!"

Nina was taken back by the anger in his voice and she didn't stop him from going. She only nudged Lavender as if to get her back, so the wounded woman stood and they wrapped her hands around themselves, pushing her weight equally and moving faster to the Djerholm, the scientist following them.

The Heartrender got lost in her thoughts as they reached the town, the evening helping them stay more disguised as they pressed Lavender against the brick wall of one of the houses right near the inn. As Kaz limped to look around the house, to check how many people there were, she got lost in her thoughts.

"Is he always so tense?" Kuwei asked, shivering from the wind that was blowing right at him, shieling Lavender from it.

"Most of the time, yes," Nina mumbled, thinking.

Yes, Kaz was tense all of the time as you could never catch that man happy in any occurrence. It always felt as if he just couldn't be happy and Nina liked to push her limits and tease him, just to see how fast he could lash out at her. But when he took Lavender in his arms, for the first time she saw pure fear in his eyes and she clearly heard how he said 'again'.

Saints! Nina's eyes widen as Kaz showed up again, his eyes immediately dropping on Lavender before he turned to Nina. That's when the Heartrender understood why Kaz's heart was going crazy at the most random moments after Lavender joined them.

Kaz Brekker was in love with Lavender.

"There is one man inside. Can you make him sleep?" Kaz asked, silently.

Nina was exhausted, but she had to embrace herself because Kaz was right, as most of the time even if it hurt to admit it. They had to bandage Lavender and get to the harbour, hoping that the others will already be there. There was no way she will leave Djerholm without the others, but right now, they had to bandage Lavender up.

That's why the woman nodded and she moved around the corner, walking to the window that was slightly opened and she loudly knocked on it, moving back, to hide. Just as Kaz said, one man opened the window and peaked his head outside and that gave Nina the perfect view to push her hands outside and cross them into a certain position. She felt the way her heart was thudding – she was tired, but with a struggle, the man rolled his eyes up, launching forward as his body fell halfway outside and halfway inside.

Moving back, Kaz was already ready to pick the lock and he did it in less than ten seconds. Nina and Kuwei grabbed Lavender and got her inside. Without sparing any attention to the poor interior of the tiny house, they pushed Lavender to the living room where a fire was in the fireplace and laid her down on the carpet right in front of it. On the other end of the room, Kaz pushed the unconscious body of the man back inside and closed the window.

They moved fast and steady like a clock. Kuwei was searching for bandages as Kaz and Nina were grabbing clothes for them to change. Then, Nina took the opportunity to dry Lavender off and get her out of the slimy and bloody clothes as quick as she could, ripping them and changing her into a sweater made from pure fur and pants that were too long for her.

She noticed many wounds splattered on her body, some of them were still gently bleeding, but the worse one still remained was her slashed eye. After changing her, Nina walked into the other room where Kaz and Kuwei have already changed into other clothes and they left her alone to change as they went to bandage her.

The house raid took about eight minutes before they were leaving the house. At least now they looked less dangerous dressed in weird Fjerdan clothing. Saints, Kaz looked weird in that coat with fur, but Nina didn't dwell too long on it.

A loud roaring sound entered the streets and that only encouraged them to move towards the harbour. The nearer they got to the harbour, the better Lavender was holding on, walking, instead of her being dragged with their support.

They moved behind a warehouse full of boats, peaking through the corner at the bridges full of ships, only to see it swarmed with Fjerdan soldiers.

"What now?" Nina whispered, noticing that the Fjerdans were looking in the other direction and only then did she notice that it was the rest of their crew – all of them. Alive.

"I don't know," Kaz admitted, looking intensely at the scene as Fjerdans were asking for the crew on the other side than to give back Kuwei.

They didn't know that Kuwei was right behind them and perhaps that could be their advantage to get into the ship and get the hell out of here.

"What do you mean you don't know? You always have a plan!" Nina pointed out.

Kaz looked at her, leaning his back to the wall of the warehouse, glaring: "Well, I didn't see this coming, Nina."

Kuwei peaked around the corner, watching that there were tons of soldiers, pointing their rifles at the rest of the crew. A few tanks of theirs were splattered around the harbour, meaning that this wasn't a fair fight.

"Use your powers!" Kuwei turned to Nina.

The Heartrender shook her head. Even on her best days, she could never take out that many soldiers.

Kuwei chewed on his bottom lip, turning his attention to the wounded Grisha, eyes sparkling with an idea: "Jurda parem! She can get rid of them!" He exclaimed in Shu.

"What's he saying?" Kaz asked.

"He thinks Lavender can take them out since she had jurda parem," Nina translated.

Lavender took a deep breath, looking at Kaz with a sorrowful expression as she suppressed a cough: "I don't know how. I don't know how to use my abilities."

"You don't know?" Kuwei repeated in his limited Kerch.

"I don't," Lavender repeated.

"How?" Kuwei simply couldn't understand and Kaz was about to smack his face.

Lavender wanted to answer, but she didn't know what to say. That's why she leaned closer to the corner, pushing her head out, watching the soldiers pointing their guns at...

Jesper.

Lavender didn't know if it was a relief she felt in her chest or fear that there were hundreds of guns pointed at her brother. This feeling felt unfamiliar and when Kuwei grabbed her hand to get her attention, a buzz of electricity struck them both.

Kuwei gasped in pain and wanted to move his hand away, but it almost felt as if it got stuck and it made him release a squeal, wanting to get away, but a few soldiers heard it and turned their attention to the sound, catching a glimpse of a Shu scientist that desperately needed to get back to the Ice Court.

Kaz was about to push those two back and run, but Lavender pushed her hand towards the soldiers as a sign for them to not get close, only to see the way the five soldiers gasped in pain, starting to choke. A split second after their eyes popped out of their sockets as the blood started to gush out of their nose and mouth, and dead bodies dropped on the ground.

Lavender was speechless as she didn't even know if she did it. But as soon as the flashlights of the soldiers turned to her and their attention moved to the hiding crew, her body dropped to the ground, unconscious. Kaz immediately, launched forwards, grasping her body and pushing it around the corner, trying to process the fact that he had just seen Lavender kill five soldiers in mere seconds.

His brain was buzzing with questions as now they had no time to think. But as soon as he looked at Nina to urge her to run, she already was arguing with Kuwei in a very rushed Shu.

Nina had a solution. Jurda parem.

author's note

kaz brekker being in love with lavender?
me too, sir.

if you feel confused about how Lavender killed the soldiers, it will be explained further in the book!
also thank you for the immense support on this book! I love you all! <3

m.n